Sleep Walking Past Hope

It was now 2 AM and the group showed no signs of slowing down. The night has consisted of everyone telling Chachi and I old stories from before we knew Jukka and the boys. My cheeks were burning from the countless laughs. My favorite one being a story of when the Dudesons went with Bam Margera and his crew to visit Lapland to “kidnap Santa”.

I was now very drunk. I’m 3 cranberry vodkas deep and lost count of how many shots I’ve had. In fact, all of us aside from Ville were smashed.

“How come you aren’t drinking, Ville?” I asked genuinely curious.

“I don’t drink love” He answered with a small smirk while setting down his diet coke.

“Hmm” I leaned back with a confused look and faced him. “You know, I don’t normally drink this much but I’m celebrating.” I said proudly with a slight slur.

“What are you celebrating?”

“Being here with my best friends!”

“You know, they’re very lucky to be here with you too.” He smiled. “In fact, I’m considering tonight a celebration as well.” He continued.

“You should, you put on an amazing show.” I complimented, as buzzed as I am, I still couldn’t get his voice and performance out of my head.

“Oh no kulta, not because of the show. I met you tonight.” He winked and clinked his glass against my own. I Immediately felt my cheeks heat up and I couldn’t help but let a giggle escape.

“Saraya!”

I turned towards the voice calling for me and turned to see Jussi starting at me intently. I smiled at him politely.

“So, what do you want do to while here in Finland? I heard you’re quite the traveler.”

“I’m really excited to be here, actually. Jukka and I have been talking about me joining him forever. I’d really like to visit Lapland before we leave. It’s beautiful and I dream of petting the reindeers!”

“Jarno has a cabin up in Rovaniemi, why don’t we all plan a weekend up there?” Jarppi suggested. The group all agreed unanimously.

“It’s settled then, we’ll bring little miss sunshine up to the arctic circle” Jukka laughed. I grinned and shoulder bumped him showing my gratitude.

The night soon came to a close and we started our goodbyes. I hugged everyone; tonight, had been the most fun I had in a while. It felt good to be able to let loose and just enjoy the night and its company. I said goodbye to Ville last and shifted nervously, I can tell he noticed because he looked down at my shoes and chuckled.
“Goodnight Saraya. I look forward to seeing you again.” He smiled hugging me.

“Me too. It was a pleasure meeting you.” I said pulling away from our painfully short embrace

“The pleasure was all mine.”

I felt the color of my cheeks darken again for what felt like the hundredth time tonight and walked towards Chachi and Jukka. I caught up them and linked arms with the happy couple and caught Chachi wiggling her eyebrows at me.

“Shut upppp.”

“You know, I always thought you would find your perfect someone soon, but I really did not think it would be Ville Valo.” She gloated.

“What are you even talking about Chachi? He is not my perfect someone.” I said using air quotations for her use of the words “perfect someone”. We had some shameless flirting and she caught on to it. So what? Doesn’t mean he’s my soulmate.

“Raya!! Give it up already, you like him!”

“I just met him Chachi, he’s nice, we flirted. Doesn’t mean we’re in love.”

“I just want to see you happy.”

“I am happy. Tonight, was great, I had fun and I’m happy we’re all on this trip together, I’m happy Jukka is visiting home and his friends and that we get to be a part of it.”

“Come on babe, leave her alone. If it’s supposed to be more, it will be.”

“I doubt Ville even likes me and you guys are already talking about what could be.”

“He likes you.” They both said in unison.

I looked up at them from the back seat shocked. Jukka met my eyes in the rearview mirror and sighed.

“Listen, I’ve known Ville for a long time. He’s reserved. He doesn’t flirt with girls just to flirt. I’m betraying Paul by saying this, but Chachi is right. Your blind when it comes to people showing you, they like you.”

“Paul likes me?”

“Yeah the kid is infatuated. He doesn’t shut up about you.”

“This is wild. I thought he just flirted with any girl that has a vagina.” The rest of the car ride was silent, I watched out the window as we drove down the dark Helsinki lights to the hotel. I was still agitated by the conversation but maybe they’re right.