Sun-Kissed

About five years before the night my parents announced their divorce, my dad had realized that Robbie was staying over quite often. Being the carpenter that he is, he devised a plan to build a slide out bed that would go underneath my bed. My parents and Robbie’s parents went half on all the materials needed. It took my dad about a month to build it. After that, Robbie always had a built-in bed in my room. Robbie’s parents decided just to buy bunk beds.
When I woke the next morning after Robbie had held me practically all night as I sobbed, I looked over to his bed. He was still sleeping, laying on his side. I didn’t want to wake him, so I stayed in bed, staring at my ceiling. The first thing that came to my mind was Owen. On one hand, I was thinking that I was way too obsessed with some guy I met for two minutes randomly on a beach. On the other, I was glad that he was on my mind. He was a good distraction from what I really wanted to think about: my parents' divorce.
Finally, I heard some rustling on Robbie’s bed. I looked over and he had turned onto his back. Now, I had never really looked at Robbie in a sexual way, but I was a gay teenage boy so the first thing I noticed when he was on his back was his morning boner. It was sticking up through his blanket rather noticeably. If I didn’t already have one, that image probably would have given me one. I quickly looked away and back up to the ceiling. I heard Robbie yawn and get up from his bed.
“Morning,” he said, as he walked to my bedroom door, covering his boner.
He left the room, presumably to use the bathroom. I jumped over his pull out bed and pushed it back underneath mine. I sat on my bed and picked up my phone from the nightstand. No messages. I almost forgot that Robbie is my only friend. I think maybe I had expected a message from Owen. How he would have ever messaged me without knowing who I was beside my first name, I didn’t know, but I’m pretty that’s what I expected when I looked at my phone.
“So what’re we doing today?” Robbie asked as he came back into the room. He was wearing my Black Keys t-shirt and his boxers.
“You wanna go to the arcade?” I asked,
“Which one? The one on the pier or the one by the park?”
“I’m thinking pier,” I answered.
“Are you just looking for him again?”
“Where did that come from?” I asked.
“You have never asked to go to the arcade. Your favorite thing to do at the pier is to go that used bookstore.”
I was caught. I suggested the arcade because I figure that’s what people do when its summer vacation and they live by the beach. I didn’t know why, but I was desperate to see him again. Robbie told me that we should just go to my favorite bookstore. I agreed. There was nothing else I could do. I didn’t know his last name. I didn’t know what school he went to. I knew nothing except that his first name was Owen.
We both took showers and then walked out to the living room. It was noon and my mom still hadn’t come out of her room. I knew because there was no coffee made or newspapers on the kitchen counter. I was a little worried and my first instinct at that moment was to go knocking on her bedroom door, but I figured she might need some time. I wrote a note saying that Robbie and I were going to be out and left it in a spot that she could see it.
When we got to my favorite bookshop on the pier, which is called The Book Beetle, Mr. Peters, the owner of the shop greeted me and called me to the back. This was nothing out of the ordinary. He always likes to show me when he gets cool new books in. Obviously, I mean new to the shop because his store is a used book store. This time, however, he didn’t have any books to show me.
“Hey Danny, I was wondering, how would you like a summer job?”
“Really?”
This was too good to be true. I was going to look for one anyway but asking Mr. Peters never crossed my mind because for as long as I have been coming to his shop he’s never had anyone working for him.
“My grandson, he’s coming to live with me this summer, and I want to make more time for him. Obviously, I can’t do that if I’m working all the time. You’re the first person I thought of and really the only person I trust with the books. You would be doing me a huge favor.”
“Mr. Peters, of course. I would love it.”
He shook my hand and told me that I was going to be starting on Monday, which was in two days. I walked back out to the shop and spotted Robbie in the Sci-Fi section.
“What did he get in that he wanted to show you?” asked Robbie.
“Actually, he asked if I wanted to work here part-time during the summer.”
“Dude that’s awesome! I wish I could land a job that easy.”

Robbie drove me home after a couple of hours of browsing. I bought a copy of Pride and Prejudice for five dollars. I thanked him for staying with me and we side hugged in the car. When I walked into my house, it didn’t seem like mom had gotten out of bed yet. My note was still in the same place. Seemingly untouched. I looked at the clock on the wall in the living room above where our TV is. It was already almost six o’clock. I figured that she hadn’t eaten or drank anything so I thought I would make her something. But when I got to the kitchen to start making her something, I realized that I didn’t know how to make anything besides scrambled eggs.
I decided to make her scrambled eggs. I spotted some bacon in the fridge so I cooked that too. I also poured her a glass of water. I took it all to her room and knocked on the door with my shoe.
“Mom…?” I called gently.
When she didn’t answer, I put the glass of water in between my arm and chest and use my free hand to open her door. I could see her still in bed. I couldn’t tell if she was asleep or just lying there. I tried getting her attention again.
“Mijo, please leave me alone,” she responded without moving.
“I made you some food,” I said as I set the plate and water on her nightstand beside her.
I bent down to kiss her forehead and then I gently walked out of the room and closed her door behind me. I took a deep breath as I stood outside her door. I wanted to cry, but I knew that I had to be strong for her. I picked up my phone to call Lorena. She was already gone when I woke up and she hasn’t been back since.
“Lori, where are you?”
“I’ve been at the beach with Riley and then we came to the pier. What’s up?”
Riley was her on again, off again boyfriend. At that moment I think they were off, but maybe with benefits.
“You have to come home. Mom hasn’t come out of her room all day. I tried to give her food, but she isn’t eating.”
“Holy shit, really?”
“Yes. You need to come now.”
“Okay, okay. I’m on my way.”

Lorena walked out of mom’s room with a worried look on her face. She walked over to me and gave me a sad look. I had never seen a look on her face like that before. She was definitely the most positive and optimistic of the three of us.
“She’ll be okay, Danny.” She said taking her wavy hair out of a ponytail. “She’s just a little depressed. Who can blame her? Her marriage is over and dad just moved out yesterday. She might be like this for a while, but she’ll come out of it eventually.”
I didn’t respond. There was nothing left to say.

* * *

I had been working at The Book Beetle for a couple of days. Mostly I just sat at the counter waiting for someone to buy something; sometimes I would take inventory. I would watch my phone, waiting for a call or text from Lorena about mom. Then, one day, something incredible happened. He actually walked into the shop.
I didn’t know if he could see me when he walked in, but I kind of froze. I didn’t want to seem like I was waiting for him to see me, so I picked up the copy of Pride and Prejudice that I had bought when I was with Robbie that one day and I started back up where I left off. I think I must have read the same sentence ten times waiting for him to walk up or try and get my attention when finally it happened.
“Hey, aren’t you that kid?”
I looked up, trying to act nonchalant, and then I acted surprised to see him. “Hey, yeah I remember you.” Be cool, be cool, be cool, I thought to myself.
“What was your name again? David?”
“Close, Danny. Danny Garcia,” I said.
“Right, I’m Owen. Arnolds.”
“That’s right. You hit me on the head with a football. You know I think my memory has been a little foggy since then.”
He laughed a little and good lord his smile was glorious. It gave me all kinds of tingles.
“Right, sorry about that man.” He looked around. “I didn’t know you worked here. I only ever see that old guy in here.”
“I just started like a week ago,” I answered. “Mr. Peters needed some help here so he asked me.”
“That’s cool man. I come here sometimes when I’m not with my friends. I don’t think they would ever want to come here or understand why I would want to.”
“Jocks don’t typically like to read,” I said, but immediately regretted putting my foot in my mouth.
Owen must have noticed my face. “It’s okay man. You’re right. I guess I’m not your typical jock. I’ve always liked English class, but I never really tell any of the team that. I even sometimes don’t do as well as I could just so they don’t catch on.”
“That doesn’t seem healthy. A real friend wouldn’t care what subjects you like. They should accept you for you.”
He smiled again. It crushed me again.
“You know, you’re right, but I also can’t imagine my life without them. They’re like my family, you know.”
“Yeah, I get it.” He held a book in his hand; it was Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. He held it up and placed it on the counter in front of me. I rang him up for it.
“So, when are you off? Wanna hang out or something?”
“I’m off in an hour,” I reply.
“Cool.” He looked at me and then around the bookstore. “You mind if I hang around here until you’re off?”
“That’s cool.”
I thought that maybe he would just look around the bookstore, but he leaned onto the counter and started to talk to me. We walked about so much that it seemed like more than just an hour. We talked about our favorite books, our favorite music. It turns out that we have different taste in books, but similar tastes in music. We talked about movies we loved and movies we thought were overrated. Before we knew it, it was time for me to clock out. I used the new time clock that Mr. Peter’s installed to punch out, turned all the lights off, put up the closed sign, and locked up the shop.
“So what did you want to do?”
“I don’t know. I know a really cool arcade that’s not too long from here.”
“Sure, that sounds cool.”
When we got to the arcade, we did every game that would let us compete against each other. We played foosball, air hockey, Street Fighter; we raced both cars and motorcycles. Of course, Owen beat me at every single game. I almost beat him when we were racing motorcycles, but he got the best of me in the end. I would play some video games, like when I was sleeping over at Robbie’s, but I would always lose and he never tried to teach me to be better and I’ve never been good with hand/eye coordination.
“This really isn’t your night is it, Garcia?”
“I guess not, but I’ve never been good at games.”
“You should have told me. We could have gone somewhere else.”
“It’s ok. It was fun.”
He smiled. His smile made his entire face glow. I had also noticed that his eyes were green. “Cool,” he said.
I looked at the time on my phone. “I should probably get home. My sister is making dinner and I told her I’d be home to help her.”
“Cool, did you need a ride or something?”
“No, I’m good. I brought my mom’s car.”
“Awesome.” He seemed like he didn’t want to separate.
“Do you want to come over? We’re having spaghetti. There’ll be enough to go around.”
He looked like he was thinking about it, but wasn’t sure if he should. I suggested that maybe we could do it another time. He then quickly protested and said that he would love to, he just had to call his mom to tell her that he wouldn’t be home for dinner. He followed me in his car to my house. When we walked into the house, Lorena looked at me angrily.
“Where have you been? You said you were going to be here to help me. It’s too late. Dinner is ready. Who’s this?”
“This is Owen. He’s a friend. Owen, this is my sister Lorena. Lori, is it okay if he eats with us?”
“I guess so. I don’t think mom is going to eat today anyway. She’s had a bad day.”
“If it’s not a good time I can come back another day,” Owen suggested.
“It’s okay,” said Lorena. “I don’t think my mom will be having any good days any time soon.”
“If you’re sure,” said Owen.
“Of course, plus you’re cute. It’ll save me from having to look at his ugly face the whole meal.”
I cut my eyes at her. “Very funny, Lori.”
She got a giggle out of Owen. Every time he smiled, I got a feeling in my stomach like I was gonna be sick, but it felt good somehow. I knew that I had a crush on Owen, but I also knew that the chances of him liking me back were zero, even lower if that was possible. So, I was content with just being his friend. I just wanted to be around him. That’s what mattered to me.
At the dinner table, it was kind of awkwardly silent. I don’t think anyone knew what to say. We had talked about pretty much everything at The Book Beetle before I clocked out and even more at the arcade.
“So, do you guys go to the same school?” Lorena finally broke the silence.
“Actually, we don’t,” I answered.
“I go to Shoreline Prep,” answered Owen.
“Oh that fancy school,” Lorena responded.
He smiled. Gut-wrenching. “Yeah.”
“Then how do you two know each other?”
“We met at my spot,” I answered.
“Your spot?” Owen asked.
“Oh so he knows your spot now, but I can’t know?”
“It’s private for a reason, Lori.” I turned to Owen. “I go there when I need to be alone and think. My best friend Robbie and I found it one day while driving along the coast.”
“It is a nice spot for that,” Owen replied with a smile. He was trying to torture me. I was sure of it.
My sister bought vanilla brownie ice cream for dessert, plus chocolate sauce to go on top. We all made our own sundaes. Owen and I made ours side by side. I looked over and saw him pouring his chocolate sauce on. It was a lot.
“Hey, leave some for me,” I joked.
“Hey shut up,” he laughed and elbowed me, then handed me the chocolate sauce.
We sat on the couch in the living room eating our ice cream. Lorena put the tv on. She put on a rerun of the season finale of Game of Thrones. It was a relatively new show, but I thought that it was good. Owen seemed to like it too, because he couldn’t keep his eyes off of the television. I liked the show as well, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Owen. Soon the episode was over and we were all done with our ice cream.
“Hey, can I see your room?”
I was caught off guard. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to sound rude and tell him no, but I wasn’t sure that I wanted Owen in my room. Being alone with probably the cutest boy I had ever seen was probably not a good idea for me. I could potentially pop a boner and completely embarrass myself and ruin everything, or he could hate everything in my room and think I’m a dork and never hang out with me again. I decided that any of that was probably better than being rude and whatever was meant to be will be.
“Sure,” I answer. “This way.”
I lead him to my room. It’s got various posters of some of my favorite bands: Muse, The Black Keys, stuff like that. I’ve also got a pretty full bookshelf of books I got from The Book Beetle. It was a little messy that night, but also cleaner than usual. Just a couple of pairs of socks on the floor.
“This is cool. You’ve got a lot of books.”
“I like to read.” He stood at my bookshelf, reading all of my book titles. “Why are you hanging out with me?”
He turned around. He looked surprised. Frankly, I was even surprised with myself that I had the guts to ask that question.
“Honestly, I didn’t know at first, like when we were at the bookstore. But the more time I spend with you, I think that it’s because I feel like I can be myself around you. We don’t go to school together so you have no preconceived notion of who I am. Everyone at Shoreline is always like Owen Arnolds this, Owen Arnolds that. They think I’m this super jock golden boy, and I am, but I’m also more than that. I love books. I like to read and I like write about what I read. I like talking about what I read. I love movies and going out with my friends to the beach and sitting by a bonfire. I like so many things, but all they see is the football star. You just see Owen and I guess I like that.”
This was the most he’d had ever spoken to me all day. I was shocked, but also glad that he was genuine with me. I didn’t know what to say so I stayed silent.
“Maybe, I should go,” he said.
“H-Hey, do you have Facebook?”
“Yeah, look me up. Owen Arnolds. But, if you want to keep in touch, I’ll give you my number.”

We exchanged numbers, said goodbye. When I walked back to the living room from the entryway of the house, Lorena was there waiting me. She leaning on the couch. She had a suspicious look on her face.
“Who is he really?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I know he’s not just your friend. I saw you. I saw the way you were looking at him?”

In that moment, I was more full of panic than I had ever been in my entire life. I never wanted anyone in my family to know before I was ready to tell them. At that moment, I wasn’t ready for any of them to know. I felt like I was going to have a full blown panic attack.