Rebel Love Song
He walked the streets as soldier and he fought the world alone
We get into my apartment and I head straight to my bedroom to get changed. Just as I remove my uniform, Nikki comes in and casually leans up against my door frame. He looks me up and down, drinking in the sight of me. I roll my eyes before tossing my uniform at him and turn around to put on my ratty Sex Pistols shirt.
“When the hell did you get that tramp stamp?” He asks. “Last time I saw you, you didn’t have that.”
“Last time you saw me I was a 17 year old girl.” I remind him as I pull up my pair of holey acid wash jeans. “But to answer your question, I got it on my 18th birthday. Me and a friend went.”
“Aren’t going to give me a name?” He chuckles.
“His name is Michael.” I reply, rolling my eyes. “I met him at the diner I worked out. We became close. He really helped me deal with you abandoning me.”
“I left for a really good reason.” He sighs. “I really wanted to hang out with you so I can explain it to you.”
“You fucked me and left me that night, Frankie!” I groan, “do you not understand how cheap I felt? How I left like utter fucking trash after that? You don’t. You left for selfish reasons.”
“And asking me to stay in a home that I wasn’t welcomed in wouldn’t have been selfish on your part?” He counters. “I couldn’t be around Deanna anymore. I had to leave. I had to get the hell out of Seattle before that city killed me. I had to find myself.”
“And did you?” I ask, crossing my arms across my chest. “Did you find yourself?
“When I got out here, I called my dad.” He admits as he plops down on my bed. “He didn’t want to admit I existed. He acted as if I was just something Deanna made up or some shit like that.” I sit on the bed next to him. I take his hands in my own and place them on my lap. With my thumb, I rub his knuckles in a soothing way. “After that moment, I refused to use his name.”
“That when Nikki Sixx was born, huh?” I muse. “Still a stupid fucking name if you ask me.”
“Good thing I didn’t.” He sticks his tongue out at me. “Leaving you was hell on me, Core. I know I shouldn’t have left like I did. But I knew if it didn’t just leave, I wouldn’t be able to.”
“You could have left a note or atleast called when you got here. I was worried sick about you.”
“You moved on fast.” He points out.
“Duff...Michael is no you.” I admit with a smile. “He was just a friend, nothing more or less. He just helped me get out of a very dark time in my life. And I’ll always thank him for that, even if we’re not on talking terms.”
“Why is that?”
“He didn’t want me to move to L.A.” I reply. “He thought that I was hunting down a ghost. But he didn’t realize how dangerous Seattle was getting for me and the girls.”
“He got worse didn’t he?” He asks, dreading the answer.
“Yea.” I sigh. “After my mother’s failed suicide attempt, she was placed in a mental hospital and I was given full custody of the girl. Child services didn’t find him suitable to raise two girls. He didn’t take that very well. He came after a couple times before he was finally thrown in jail. He’s getting out soon, which is why I made the move to L.A; well one of the reasons why.”
“What’s the other reason?”
“To find you.” I reply, earning a shocked look from Nikki. “Don’t give me that look, Frankie. You were my best friend and I had to make sure you were still alive. Even if I had to burn this damn city to the ground.”
“Are you ever going to call me Nikki?” He asks, smirking at me.
“In public, sure.” I start. “But behind closed doors, no. Because when you’re not in the public eye, you’ll always be my Frankie. And again, I think Nikki Sixx is a stupid name.”
He laughs before pulling me into a hug. I can feel him placing a kiss on top of my head. “It’s good to have you back Corey. So good.”
“You can’t get rid of me that easily…”
“When the hell did you get that tramp stamp?” He asks. “Last time I saw you, you didn’t have that.”
“Last time you saw me I was a 17 year old girl.” I remind him as I pull up my pair of holey acid wash jeans. “But to answer your question, I got it on my 18th birthday. Me and a friend went.”
“Aren’t going to give me a name?” He chuckles.
“His name is Michael.” I reply, rolling my eyes. “I met him at the diner I worked out. We became close. He really helped me deal with you abandoning me.”
“I left for a really good reason.” He sighs. “I really wanted to hang out with you so I can explain it to you.”
“You fucked me and left me that night, Frankie!” I groan, “do you not understand how cheap I felt? How I left like utter fucking trash after that? You don’t. You left for selfish reasons.”
“And asking me to stay in a home that I wasn’t welcomed in wouldn’t have been selfish on your part?” He counters. “I couldn’t be around Deanna anymore. I had to leave. I had to get the hell out of Seattle before that city killed me. I had to find myself.”
“And did you?” I ask, crossing my arms across my chest. “Did you find yourself?
“When I got out here, I called my dad.” He admits as he plops down on my bed. “He didn’t want to admit I existed. He acted as if I was just something Deanna made up or some shit like that.” I sit on the bed next to him. I take his hands in my own and place them on my lap. With my thumb, I rub his knuckles in a soothing way. “After that moment, I refused to use his name.”
“That when Nikki Sixx was born, huh?” I muse. “Still a stupid fucking name if you ask me.”
“Good thing I didn’t.” He sticks his tongue out at me. “Leaving you was hell on me, Core. I know I shouldn’t have left like I did. But I knew if it didn’t just leave, I wouldn’t be able to.”
“You could have left a note or atleast called when you got here. I was worried sick about you.”
“You moved on fast.” He points out.
“Duff...Michael is no you.” I admit with a smile. “He was just a friend, nothing more or less. He just helped me get out of a very dark time in my life. And I’ll always thank him for that, even if we’re not on talking terms.”
“Why is that?”
“He didn’t want me to move to L.A.” I reply. “He thought that I was hunting down a ghost. But he didn’t realize how dangerous Seattle was getting for me and the girls.”
“He got worse didn’t he?” He asks, dreading the answer.
“Yea.” I sigh. “After my mother’s failed suicide attempt, she was placed in a mental hospital and I was given full custody of the girl. Child services didn’t find him suitable to raise two girls. He didn’t take that very well. He came after a couple times before he was finally thrown in jail. He’s getting out soon, which is why I made the move to L.A; well one of the reasons why.”
“What’s the other reason?”
“To find you.” I reply, earning a shocked look from Nikki. “Don’t give me that look, Frankie. You were my best friend and I had to make sure you were still alive. Even if I had to burn this damn city to the ground.”
“Are you ever going to call me Nikki?” He asks, smirking at me.
“In public, sure.” I start. “But behind closed doors, no. Because when you’re not in the public eye, you’ll always be my Frankie. And again, I think Nikki Sixx is a stupid name.”
He laughs before pulling me into a hug. I can feel him placing a kiss on top of my head. “It’s good to have you back Corey. So good.”
“You can’t get rid of me that easily…”
♠ ♠ ♠
chapter title credit: 18 & Life by Skid Row.comment&subscribe?