Non-Fiction Writing Prompts
Crazy Family Holiday
"Woah, woah, woah. Where is everyone staying?" I questioned.
"What do you mean where are they staying? They're staying here," my mom answered as she shot me an annoyed glance.
I stopped in my tracks in Walmart. "Can we even fit that many people in the house?"
She stopped pushing the cart long enough to turn around and say, "We'll make it work. It's fine."
________
"Oh my God, stop! Stop!" my mother yelled.
"Do you think I'm not trying?!" I screeched back.
I ran down to the bottom of the stairs and frantically shut off the shop vacuum. The silence was almost deafening after the chaos. I quickly returned to assess the situation in the bathroom.
My mom looked at me in disbelief, "How the hell did you even suck up an entire roll of toilet paper?"
I shrugged nonchalantly. "I wish I knew."
Everything was, as I had predicted, not fine. My cat had already puked twice, we couldn't get the air mattress to work, my grandfather called to inform us that he would also be staying with us and would be arriving in Tennessee two hours earlier than anticipated, and it was only 11 AM.
My mom groaned as she retreated to the kitchen to finish making her family-famous peanut butter balls with my sister before anything else could distract her.
"Um, I dropped one in the pot of chocolate, and I can't find it."
My mom paused before laughing nervously, and my sister and I both looked at each other knowing that my mom was a ticking time bomb that was going to blow up sooner rather than later.
________
That afternoon, the front door swung open time and time again as various family members arrived: my aunt and uncle, my great uncle, grandfather, great grandmother.... eventually followed by my dad who looked less than thrilled to be home from work, knowing what the coming days had in store for us.
The rest of the evening consisted of my grandfather wearing the chunkiest headphones I've ever seen in my life to listen to his Walkman (in 2011???) on a family trip to Kirkland's, my dad last minute gift shopping as per usual, and a very unfortunate visit to Steak 'n Shake where I hid my head as my Great Uncle Ron harrassed the servers about whether or not the malt shakes were made with powder or syrup until he straddled the metal bar behind the table in an effort to storm his way into their kitchen to personally find out for himself.
________
Christmas Eve was seemingly calm until my other grandmother and aunt arrived. My Nanny Mary came in carrying a giant box of my favorite kettle chips from Pennsylvania. I went to grab a handful out of the open bag before my grandmother swatted my hand away.
"Yeah, don't eat that one. Your aunt has a yeast infection. That one's hers."
I slowly pulled back my hand as my eyes widened. My mother and I made eye contact, and she slowly shook her head back and forth. The freak out was coming, I just knew it.
That night my Papa Ric introduced me to the movie Christmas Vacation (which has reigned as my favorite holiday movie to date). As I was coming to the realization that my family could pass as the Griswolds, I heard loud banging upstairs.
"Are they... dancing around up there?" I asked my sister with one eyebrow raised.
We creeped up the stairs to find none other than my mother and aunt in a full-fledged fight right as my mother pushed my aunt out the back door.
"Whelp, I saw that coming," I said as I returned to my movie, unphased.
________
Christmas morning consisted of my mom and dad deflating and blowing up the three-foot tall air mattress my Papa Ric was sleeping on until he finally rolled off of it.
After opening gifts, my Uncle Paul presented a fruit cake that I'm sure he bought at Walmart. My Uncle Ron peeled back the cover, prepared to pick off a blueberry and eat it. Before he could even move it towards his mouth, my Great Grandma Dolly walked into the room and scolded him like a dog, "No! Bad! Bad!" To my surprise, he obeyed and placed the blueberry back on top of the cake.
It wasn't until dinner that all hell broke loose as my mom stress cried into the butter corn.
My family all banded together to cheer her up and --
Okay, that's not even close. My sister and I had to force my mom to sit and eat with everyone, and I've never seen her more relieved than when everyone left the next day. Although I would say that we would never want to do that again, we've since lost a few family members from that crazy holiday and would suffer through it all over again if we could.
"What do you mean where are they staying? They're staying here," my mom answered as she shot me an annoyed glance.
I stopped in my tracks in Walmart. "Can we even fit that many people in the house?"
She stopped pushing the cart long enough to turn around and say, "We'll make it work. It's fine."
________
"Oh my God, stop! Stop!" my mother yelled.
"Do you think I'm not trying?!" I screeched back.
I ran down to the bottom of the stairs and frantically shut off the shop vacuum. The silence was almost deafening after the chaos. I quickly returned to assess the situation in the bathroom.
My mom looked at me in disbelief, "How the hell did you even suck up an entire roll of toilet paper?"
I shrugged nonchalantly. "I wish I knew."
Everything was, as I had predicted, not fine. My cat had already puked twice, we couldn't get the air mattress to work, my grandfather called to inform us that he would also be staying with us and would be arriving in Tennessee two hours earlier than anticipated, and it was only 11 AM.
My mom groaned as she retreated to the kitchen to finish making her family-famous peanut butter balls with my sister before anything else could distract her.
"Um, I dropped one in the pot of chocolate, and I can't find it."
My mom paused before laughing nervously, and my sister and I both looked at each other knowing that my mom was a ticking time bomb that was going to blow up sooner rather than later.
________
That afternoon, the front door swung open time and time again as various family members arrived: my aunt and uncle, my great uncle, grandfather, great grandmother.... eventually followed by my dad who looked less than thrilled to be home from work, knowing what the coming days had in store for us.
The rest of the evening consisted of my grandfather wearing the chunkiest headphones I've ever seen in my life to listen to his Walkman (in 2011???) on a family trip to Kirkland's, my dad last minute gift shopping as per usual, and a very unfortunate visit to Steak 'n Shake where I hid my head as my Great Uncle Ron harrassed the servers about whether or not the malt shakes were made with powder or syrup until he straddled the metal bar behind the table in an effort to storm his way into their kitchen to personally find out for himself.
________
Christmas Eve was seemingly calm until my other grandmother and aunt arrived. My Nanny Mary came in carrying a giant box of my favorite kettle chips from Pennsylvania. I went to grab a handful out of the open bag before my grandmother swatted my hand away.
"Yeah, don't eat that one. Your aunt has a yeast infection. That one's hers."
I slowly pulled back my hand as my eyes widened. My mother and I made eye contact, and she slowly shook her head back and forth. The freak out was coming, I just knew it.
That night my Papa Ric introduced me to the movie Christmas Vacation (which has reigned as my favorite holiday movie to date). As I was coming to the realization that my family could pass as the Griswolds, I heard loud banging upstairs.
"Are they... dancing around up there?" I asked my sister with one eyebrow raised.
We creeped up the stairs to find none other than my mother and aunt in a full-fledged fight right as my mother pushed my aunt out the back door.
"Whelp, I saw that coming," I said as I returned to my movie, unphased.
________
Christmas morning consisted of my mom and dad deflating and blowing up the three-foot tall air mattress my Papa Ric was sleeping on until he finally rolled off of it.
After opening gifts, my Uncle Paul presented a fruit cake that I'm sure he bought at Walmart. My Uncle Ron peeled back the cover, prepared to pick off a blueberry and eat it. Before he could even move it towards his mouth, my Great Grandma Dolly walked into the room and scolded him like a dog, "No! Bad! Bad!" To my surprise, he obeyed and placed the blueberry back on top of the cake.
It wasn't until dinner that all hell broke loose as my mom stress cried into the butter corn.
My family all banded together to cheer her up and --
Okay, that's not even close. My sister and I had to force my mom to sit and eat with everyone, and I've never seen her more relieved than when everyone left the next day. Although I would say that we would never want to do that again, we've since lost a few family members from that crazy holiday and would suffer through it all over again if we could.
♠ ♠ ♠
Definitely need to work on my ability to write with brevity. Lol.