You're All I Need

"Get out! Get the hell out of my house!" I screamed, pushing the three men towards the door. Two of them were high off their ass, while the third had only been drinking. Grabbing the leather jacket off the back of the couch, I threw it in the direction of where Nikki was standing with a confused look on his face. Tommy was standing a few feet to his left, while Mick was still standing somewhere behind me.

"What the hell is going on Lilith?" Tommy was shouting. Probably too high to realize how loud he was actually being. "What's going on? What's going on is that I want you all out of my house, I'm tired of all the bullshit! I'm tired of you only coming here to get high, drink my booze, and eat my fucking food." I growled in his direction. Stepping forward, Nikki tried putting his hands on my shoulders as if he was going to try to comfort me.

Nikki always had a way of calming me down, it was like his super power whenever we were together. Looking up at the man standing in front of me, I shook my head and took a step back away from him. I wasn't going to let this happen this time. It was only when I took that step back when I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and eventually falling.

"Why the fuck don't you guys take a look at yourselves? You've made a name for yourselves, you've gotten signed, and you're blowing the fuck up, congratulations! But you don't realize the fucking path you're all going down. The drugs and the partying? You're all going to end up dead or in jail if you don't fucking stop, it's already happening to Vince. My fucking brother is in jail for manslaughter Nikki, and none of you even act like you fucking care. I'm tired of it! So get the fuck out of my house." I kept my voice as steady as possible as I spoke.

Two nights ago Vince had been arrested. As a result of his drunk driving, and probably some other shit in his system, he lost control of his car and hit an oncoming car. Razzle and I were never really close friends, but it's still horrible what happened to him.

Being separated from my brother was hard enough, he was all I had anymore. My family all but disowned me for the life I had chosen for myself. So the decision I had brought myself to was one of the hardest I had ever had to make.

"Lilith, you can't mean that." Nikki had some look in his eye that almost seemed like I had hurt his feelings. He honestly thought I was just over reacting. "But I do, Nikki. I mean every word. I don't want to see any of you end up killing yourselves and if you don't change something then you'll do exactly that. So until something changes, you need to leave and not come back." It hurt just to say it, because I loved them all. I don't want to lose them.

Nikki opened his mouth as if to say something else, but I stopped him before he could. "Just go." I managed to choke out.

Looking over his shoulder at Tommy they both seemed to finally understand just how series I was being. Nothing else was said as the two of them turned and stumbled out the door of my home. Meanwhile, Mick, who had been standing behind me, stepped forward and rested his hand on my shoulder. "Take care of yourself, little girl. Be careful out there." He flashed me a small smile before making his way to the door. "You too, old man." I shook my head, stepping closer so I could close and lock the door behind them all.

I couldn't stop myself from breaking down even further once they were gone.

Things were difficult, but I stayed true to my word. I avoided contact with Tommy and Nikki. After Vince got out of jail, he was sober for a while- once that ended was when my contact with him began to falter as well. Mick was the only one I could really stay in constant contact with. He wasn't completely sober, but he was never in as deep as the rest of them were. He would call me every few days to let me know how things were, no matter if they were on tour or at home I could always count on that call to let me know that the boys were still alright.

I buried myself in work, and over the years it's gotten me so far. I own a club in downtown LA, and a lavish home far enough away from the city where no one can bother me if I don't want them to.

Hearing my phone ring, I made my way into the kitchen to answer it. "Hey, little girl." The familiar, monotone voice came through the receiver. I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "Hey there Mickey. It's been longer than normal since I've heard from you." Hearing from him was always a highlight to me. It was night knowing that even though I had forced them all away, I still had him.

"Yeah, well, this isn't my normal phone call either. It's been years now, Vince is all but dying to hear from you. Nikki and Tommy too. They haven't forgotten what you said that night." My hand began to tremble upon hearing his words. I had heard that they had all gotten sober, even Mick had told me they were working on it. I just never imagined that they'd make it a whole year sober. "Look, Mickey, I really don't know if that's such a good idea." I ran my hand through my hair.

"At least consider it, Lilith. After you kicked us out, Nikki was torn to shreds. I know you two meant a lot to each other. Not to mention Vince, he's your brother, your blood. And Tommy just adores you. We all miss you." I could tell by the tone of his voice that he wasn't going to push the subject anymore, but that he was determined to eventually get a yes out of me.

"Fine. I'm not going to be at the club at all this week, so I'll be home. You know where to find me." I gave in. After so many years, it was finally time to face the music.