You're All I Need

I refused to spend time at the apartment that the band shared; and I wasn't the only one. The place was run down and horrid. It wasn't the nicest apartment even before they all moved in, but after they moved in it all went to hell. Vince, Tommy, and Nikki were the only three who lived in the apartment, as Mick had his own with his girlfriend; whom the boys had nicknamed 'The Thing'.

I had my own place as well, about ten minutes down the road from where their apartment was. Unlike the boys, I was able to keep a steady job and therefore had the money to feed myself. The boys, did not.

Nikki and Vince would pick and date girls who worked in grocery stores, just because they could convince them to bring them food to survive for a while. Other times, there was a sympathetic old couple that lived next door. They would occasionally make a huge bowl of spaghetti and bring it to the boys so that they could eat. Though I never understood why anyone would ever be sympathetic to the boys who acted the way these boys did.

So the rest of the time, it was up to me. I knew not to straight out give them the money because it would not be used for food- so instead I would buy groceries I knew that all three of them would eat and take it to them. That was the only time I would dare to set food inside that apartment.

The first time I had been there was to visit with my brother, not to bring groceries.

The apartment had been crawling with vermin and roaches. The first time I went into the apartment, I saw Tommy chasing them around, the roaches, with a lighter and a can of hairspray. No one thought anything of it, or the mountain of trash that took up residence on the small little balcony space they had; but I was repulsed by it. How could anyone live like this, in such a place?

So ever since that first visit to the apartment, I refused to ever step foot inside again. The days I would bring them their groceries, I would force one of them come down to get them rather than me going up to deliver them.

Of course, there was another reason that I refused to go to their apartment. The women that they found themselves with were absolutely insane.

There was one night, Vince told me about something a girl Tommy was with had done. This girl was a bit larger than most, and with the face of a moose. This had caused them all to start calling her 'Bullwinkle'. For most, being called such a horrid name to your face could more than definitely make one begin to go crazy- however I believe that this woman was crazy long before she ever even encountered the boys.

According to Vince, one night they had locked her out of the apartment and absolutely refused to let her back in. So this resulted in her smashing her way into the apartment through the window with a fire extinguisher. That sympathetic couple next door called the police on the girl, and upon their arrival Nikki and Vince hid in the bathroom.

"I will never understand why they live the way they do." I sighed, handing the glass over the side of the bar to Mick who was waiting on the other side. This had become sort of a regular thing for us. On the nights The Thing would kick Mick out of their home, he would come to the bar to talk and have a drink with me. "They don't give a shit. They see it as something a rock star would do, so they must do it to." Mick grumbled, sipping on the drink I had given him.

"They're all idiots." I rolled my eyes before turning to serve more drinks to other people in the bar.

"I don't think you've ever actually been inside my home, old man." I smiled as I sat down on the couch next to Mick. He seemed to be sitting there comfortably, while Motley had his head laying in Mick's lap.

Motley and Crue had met Mick many times over the years, and they absolutely adored him. Yet, he had never come into their home, so they might be feeling a bit weird about it by now. Normally when Mick and I had seen each other over the years, it had been out somewhere in public, or he had simply walked with me while I was taking the dogs for a walk.

"I think you're right on that. I don't remember having ever been in this house. Your old apartment however, I can still remember exactly where everything was." He chuckled ever so slightly. I couldn't help but smile over at my dear old friend.

Mick and I were almost as close as myself and Nikki before I sent them all away. I even remember how Mick and I first connected- I had found him on the beach one day passed out, I thought he was dead. It was the same day as Vince's accident. Of course, I considered us friends far before this event happened, but I feel like that was the day we became so close.

"That little shit hole? Why would you ever want to think of that place?" I scoffed, reaching over and putting a hand on Motley's back. I had come so far since that little apartment, hell we all had. Motley Crue was wildly successful and loved all around the world- they boys had achieved what they had wanted. Me, on the other hand, I made my money a different way. Started with stripping, then moved to bar tending, and finally on to own the bar, and then another, and another.

"Why would you want to forget where you started, little girl. Besides, that little shit hole was often my home too you know; and it meant a lot having somewhere to go." He shrugged his shoulders. I hadn't thought about it like that. I had grown so used to my large, fancy new home that was secluded away from the world. It was hard to even consider thinking about that tiny, little, rundown apartment in the middle of the city.

But I would always want to forget parts of where I came from, where I started as Mick puts it. There are things I've not even told him that happened to me that I would never want to happen to anyone else. I just want it put behind me and forgotten.

"Tiny apartments or large houses, you will always have a place here with me if you need one. You should know that by now." I gave him half of a smile. My lack of a reaction had him leaning forward, and around Motley. He moved his hand away from Motley and placed it on my knee. "Something has happened to you over the years to have caused this change in you, Lilith, and one of these days you're going to have to tell me."

Once more I flashed him that little half a smile, and placed my hand over top of his own. Meanwhile, between us Motley had a look on his face that simply said how unsatisfied he was with the lack of attention he was suddenly receiving.

"Nothing has happened, Mickey, I promise. No need to worry- I just missed you guys is all."

I wasn't lying, nothing had happened to me; and I did miss them. Having kicked them out of my life for their drug use didn't effect only them- it took it's toll on me as well.