In Sickness and in Health

“Flashing lights!” Ellie shouts out at the top of her lungs as she walks slowly around the seating area of the big top. In her right hand she carries three novelty spinning light up toys, and three fibre optic light up wands. Every so often a child comes running up to ask the price, and they usually come back a few moments later with money from their parents to buy one of the light ups. When she runs out, she returns to the foyer tent out the front, to where Axel stands at a whole display of light up souvenirs. Light up spinners, fibre optic wants, fairy wands, swords, lightsabers, even hats. Next to the light ups stand is a stand selling other circus goodies such as spinning plates, flags, diabolos and red noses. Across the foyer is a kiosk selling all the junk food imaginable, and a candy floss stand. In the corner, the girl who had come in to practice after Axel and Ellie sits doing face painting. While at the door, greeting people as they walk in, is Ellie’s uncle, Mason. Dressed in slick black pants, with a royal blue trim running down the outside leg, a white dress shirt with a golden waistcoat, and a royal blue tailcoat. A dazzling black top hat with royal blue and gold rhinestone detailing sits on his head, showing him to be truly recognisable as the ringmaster.

“How’s it looking in there?” Mason asks as Ellie walks over to him.

“Very very full.” Ellie replies. “The boys are putting extra seats out.”

From his pocket, Mason pulls out a walkie talkie, and raises it to his mouth.

“Zee don’t sell any more tickets after your next customer.” He talks into the radio, and a male voice replies to inform him that his request has been acknowledged.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and welcome to the Sanders Family Circus. As you can see the show is indeed sold out tonight so if there is a spare seat between you and the family next to you please move along and fill that seat. We appreciate your cooperation, and the show will commence in just five minutes time, thank you.” Mason announces, and then turns his attention to his niece once more.

“You and Axe better go get ready.” He smiles down to her, and so she turns to go back over to Axel, and helps him turn all of the light ups off, and covers the stall.

Together the two head back over to their trailer, removing their jackets as they go. Once inside, they change into their costumes as quickly as possible. Axel’s being a sleeveless black mesh bodysuit and a pair of black leather effect pants with a heavily rhinestoned waistband, and a couple of chains draped in various places over the top. For Ellie it’s a red Rhine stone and studded cropped top, black leather effect hot pants, with a couple of chains draped in various positionings, and black fishnet tights. Both of them pick up a pair of black leather jazz boots, and then slip trainers on to their feet just to walk back across the field to the tent in. Once backstage they remove the trainers, and get their jazz boots on. They also both secure a lunge belt around their waists.

They warm up as the show gets started, and then head up into the bandstand waiting for the first act to finish, and then as Mason goes into his speech to introduce them, they take hold of each other’s hands and kiss each other for good luck, as they do before every performance, and upon hearing the words “Duo Marvel” their music starts, and they step through the curtain into the limelight.

Their music is slower at first, Hot in the City by Billy Idol. For a moment they act out a scene of a girl not interested in the guy, however that soon changes and they each climb a rope, up to a waiting trapeze.

On the ground Mason goes over to stage right and unfastens a rope, the other end of which is currently clipped to a trapeze that currently isn’t in use, but soon will be. Another person over the other side of the ring also goes and unfastens a rope on the other side of the ring, the other end of which is attached to the trapeze Axel hangs upside down by his knees from as he holds Ellie, helping her into various holds, all of fourteen meters above the ground. As the routine goes on, the stunts become more daring, with a few drops and spins, and finally a series of somersaults, in which Axel always catches Ellie by her wrists.

Only on the final one, as Mason is moving into place, ready for Ellie to climb back down the rope they used to climb up there so that she can transfer to the other trapeze, both Ellie and Axel misjudge the catch.

Mason looks up, and watches in horror as Axel clips Ellie’s fingertips, but due to Ellie being in a somersault, he can’t catch her as planned, and despite reaching out for each other, Ellie plummets to the hard floor-boarded ground below.

“Ellie!!!” Axel screams with wide eyes as he still hangs upside down, watching as his wife hits the hard floor boards fourteen meters beneath them. He immediately pulls himself up, and cries out for the rope to be brought over so that he can come down from the trapeze.

“Merde.” He mutters under his breath as he reaches the ground.

Many people have rushed into the ring and surround Ellie as she lies motionless and unconscious on the floor, not a single one touching or moving her. Suddenly Axel feels a strong pair of arms around him, pulling him back from the scene. He desperately tries to fight against whoever is holding him back, but then he feels another pair of arms pulling. He turns to look at who has him... his father, and Mason.

In all of the commotion, Mason has evacuated the bigtop, and has various staff members handling the situation, while another member of staff calls for an ambulance.

“Let me go! Get off me!” Axel cries out, still fighting against Mason and his father.

“Axel there’s nothing you can do!” His father tells him. “You need to calm down!”

“Ellie!” Axel still screams, and eventually is wrestled down to the floor by his father and Mason. Mason then straddles him as he lies face down on the floor, holding his hands behind his back, while his father kneels before him, doing his best to shush and sooth him.

“Axel please man.” Mason pleads as a tear falls from his eye.

“Calmez-vous Axel. Elle a besoin de vous calmer.” Axel’s father keeps doing his best to tell his son that he needs to calm down.

A few minutes later, Axel stops fighting, and focusses on his breathing, allowing himself to calm enough for Mason to let him go so that he can go over to his wife.

Tears overcome him as he sits next to her with one leg out and the other leg drawn up at the knee. He cries out in anguish, and turns, his father there waiting with open arms. He of course picks his son up, and takes him to stand a little further away from the scene, and holds Axel as he cries inconsolably.

“Ohhhhkay that didn’t work, let’s stay over here.” His father declares, and takes Axel to sit on the ring boxes.

As he cries, Axel looks back over, seeing his mother knelt with Ellie, holding her hand and talking to her. But Ellie is led completely unconscious, completely unresponsive.

Axel’s shaking picks up again as sirens can be heard approaching, and a team of paramedics come in, two head straight to Ellie, while another comes over to Axel.

“Hey, my name’s Karen I’m a paramedic.” The female paramedic introduces herself in a calm and collected and comforting way. “What’s yours?”

“Axel.” Axel replies as he shakes violently.

“Hey Axel, can I ask how old you are?” Karen asks next as she takes his hand, and slips a pulse monitor onto his fingertip.

“Nineteen.” Axel replies, still really shaky, and gulping for breath.

“Her name’s Eliza Causton, she’s nineteen years old...” Axel becomes aware of Mason talking to the paramedics over with Ellie.

“How’s my wife?” Axel asks, his breath hitching and then picking up once more.”I can’t breath.”

“It’s okay Axel, yes you can, you just need to slow your breathing down, it’s okay.” Karen tells him.

“I dropped her.” Axel cries, “I didn’t catch her.”

“It’s okay, accidents happen.” Karen supports him, and gets him to focus on his breathing again. “Good. That’s good that’s exactly what we want.”

“He has Alprazolam on a private prescription for chronic panic attacks.” His father remembers and tells Karen, who asks him to go and retrieve it. A few moments later, Axel is taking a pill, and begins to calm down.

“Okay, Axel, this is officer Darren Thomas, he just wants to ask a few questions about the accident is that okay?” Karen asks, and Axel nods, despite the medication making him feel a little dizzy.

“Hey Axel, I just need to know how high you were when your wife fell.” The police officer tells Axel, and gets a shaky reply of fourteen meters.

“She was doing somersaults. I was supposed to catch her but we misjudged it and she fell.” Axel explains.

“Okay.” The police officer speaks softly. “We just have to make sure there was no ill intention there is all. I understand it was just a horrible accident.”

Axel nods, and curls into his father’s arms once again, and pretty soon feels a lot more drowsy than before, so rests his head on his father’s sternum for stability.

“Are you still okay to talk Axel?” Karen, the paramedic asks. Axel nods slightly, worth the pulse rate monitor still clipped onto his finger, and with Karen now slipping a cuff on his upper arm to check his blood pressure.

“Could you tell us a little bit about your wife?” The officer asks next.

“Her name’s Eliza.” Axel tells him with a little bit of a slur. “We met when we were kids. Got married when we were seventeen, found out we were pregnant with twins a few weeks later.”

“You have twins?” The officer asks. “Where are they now?”

“Out with Ellie’s mum. They’ll be back soon, oh god she doesn’t know.” Axel sighs heavily.

“Shhh it’s okay, Mason called her.” His father tells him. “She’s going to keep the twins with her tonight.”

Karen finishes monitoring Axel now, and removes the clip and the cuff, satisfied with his vitals.

“Thank you for letting me check you over Axel, we just wanted to because that was a huge shock for you.” She explains.

Axel nods, and then sits back up, and stands to step away from his father, just one step though. As he is still feeling the effects of the medication

“How old are they?” The police officer asks as Axel looks around the tent while holding his fingers up to his mouth. He takes everything in, noticing how there are a lot of police there, all talking to circus staff. Trying to get a picture of what happened to make sure nothing was done to hurt the pair on purpose.

“One.” Axel answers the question. “We film every performance.”

“You do?” The officer asks. Axel nods, and points to the camera set up above the entry door.

“Do you mind if we take it?” The police officer asks, and Axel shakes his head.

“Okay.” The police officer smiles. “Okay, Axel they're going to take Eliza to the hospital now, would you like to travel with her?”

“Yeah.” Axel nods. Mason comes running over then, with a bath robe for Axel to put on to keep him warm. He takes the robe gratefully and slips his arms into it, then follows the paramedics out to a waiting ambulance, and climbs in after them.

“Can my dad come too?” He asks.

“I’ll be in the car with Mason right behind you Okay?” His father tells him and asks. Axel nods then, and watches as the paramedic outside shuts the door, locking them into the back.

On the gurney, Ellie lies fully strapped and supported in a neck brace and splints. The one comfort he has is that she does not require any help breathing, she is doing that by herself. She is visibly incredibly bruised though, and has several clearly broken bones.

“Will she be okay?” He musters up the courage to ask the paramedic with them.

“She’s in the best care.” The paramedic replies. “The doctors know she’s coming, they’re going to do everything they can to help her.”

Tears begin to fall from Axel’s eyes again, silently and more calm this time. The paramedic allows him to reach over and take Ellie’s hand.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispers, and kisses her fingertips. Of course Ellie doesn’t respond, and so Axel just sits with her, holding her hand for the rest of the journey, only letting her go when they reach the hospital and she is taken away, through to be treated, while Axel is directed to a private relatives room, where his father and Mason soon join him.

Not a word is spoken. Axel’s father sits while his son lies with his head in his lap, and Mason sits the other side of Axel, resting a hand on Axel’s hip to show comfort.

Eventually, hours later, the door opens, a doctor steps in and closes the door behind him, then comes to take a seat before the three in the room.

“Mr Causton?” He asks softly, and Axel sits up to nod his head.

“Hi, my name’s Doctor James Bennett, I’m the lead consultant treating your wife.”

“How is she?” Axel asks.

“Eliza is in a critical yet stable condition.” The Doctor begins, and Axel cuts him off.

“What does that mean?” The frightened young man asks.

“It means that her vital signs are currently within normal expectations, however she remains in a coma. She has suffered a number of injuries. Mostly to her arms and her left leg. However she has not done any damage to her spine, which is extremely encouraging. Her brain activity is significantly low though. We will be monitoring her twenty four hours a day, keeping an eye out for any improvements, but it could be a very long and lengthy road ahead. It’s not going to be easy.”

“When will she wake up?” Axel asks.

“I’m afraid I can’t answer that Mr Causton.” The Doctor tells him.

“Will she wake up again?” Axel finds himself asking now.

“Your wife is breathing on her own, has no internal bleeding that we could find and her heartbeat is strong. That’s a very very good sign.” The Doctor does his best to comfort.

“He can’t answer that one either Axe.” Mason tells him. “But from the sounds of it she could well do, he just can’t say what state she’ll be in if or when she does.”

Axel nods.

“Can I see her?”

“Of course.” The Doctor smiles sympathetically. “Now normally I would say two people only but I will allow all three of you in for this first visit.”

All three men stand now, and follow the doctor out of the room, through the hallways, and up the stairs, and along to the intensive care unit.

Ellie is in her own room, led propped up in bed, with both arms in casts, and her left leg also in a cast and elevated slightly. A cuff is wrapped around her upper right arm, with a tube leading to a blood pressure monitor. A pulse reader is clipped onto her fingertip, and a drip feeds into her left arm just above her cast. Various other pads and wires are attached to her and there are bandages wrapped around her torso snugly.

“Hey Ellie.” Axel surprises his father and Mason by calmly taking Ellie’s cast clad right hand, and raises it to kiss her finger tips as he speaks calmly.

“You sure know how to clear out a circus tent in less than two minutes.” Axel carries on. “But it’s okay, it’s okay because you’re in here now, and the doctors and the nurses, they’re really taking care of you.”

The steady beeping of the heart rate monitor catches his attention then, he looks up and goes over to it, placing a hand on the screen, and looking back down to Ellie.

“Her vital signs are within normal expectations.” He repeats the doctors earlier words. “But her brain function is significantly low. Mason do you have my phone?”

“Yeah, here.” Mason replies and pulls Axel’s phone out of his pocket, and hands it to him. Axel takes it and opens the camera, switching it to video mode, and flips it so the camera is on him, then hits record.

“Hey Ellie, it’s me, it’s Axel. I’m your husband, we’re circus performers. So, you fell from fourteen meters, and, now you’re in a coma, and you’re breathing normally and your heartbeat is really strong. But you aren’t awake. So I’m filming this incase you wake up and can’t remember anything.”

Mason and Axel’s father look to each other now with a heavy somber look on each of their faces. They realise at that moment that Axel has thought of everything, every last scenario has already played out in his head.

“So, this is your uncle.” Axel carries on speaking to the camera, and he goes to stand with Mason, who smiles and waves.

“His name’s Mason, he’s your mother’s twin brother. And this is my father Tony.” Axel moves and gets his father into frame, who also smiles.

“And in case you’re wondering why I’m wearing a dressing gown, have hair extensions in and have smudged makeup around my eyes, we came straight up here from the show so I literally am still in my costume, and I’ve been crying, a lot.” Axel explains, as his voice cracks again. “I love you.”

He finds himself having to wipe his eyes once more, but then can’t stop the tears, and so Mason takes the phone, while Tony wraps his arms around his son, and holds him close. Mason films them, and then stops recording and puts the phone down.

Suddenly there is a soft coughing sound coming from the door way, and the three men look up to see the doctor from before stood there.

“We have the results of Eliza’s brain scans.” The Doctor announces. “There is nothing to say that she won’t wake up from this. However there is significant damage to multiple sections of her brain, I am so sorry, but there is a very real chance that Eliza won’t remember any of you when she wakes up.”

Axel’s heart rate picks up. He lets go of his father and wipes his eyes, then goes back over to Ellie, resting his hands on the bed railing.

“You said when.” Axel states boldly. “So she will wake up. And she won’t remember, but can she gain her memories back?”

“Over time yes, Eliza’s memory will eventually mostly return. However looking at the scans we believe that there will always be some form of cognitive difficulty. There is a lot of bruising in several areas of her brain, we won’t know the full extent of the damage until she wakes up.”

Axel nods, and looks down to his wife, and thanks the doctor, who leaves he room once again.

“He said when.” Axel speaks quietly with a smile.

“He did.” Tony also smiles.

“She won’t remember right away, but we’ll get her there.” Mason speaks up encouragingly. “In fact if I know Ellie the way I do, as soon as she sees the tent, everything will come flooding back to her.”

Axel leaves Ellie’s bedside now, and goes to look out of the window, and then comes back over.

“The twins are going to be wondering where we are.” He declares.

“Hey it’s okay, if you wanna stay here with her, we can all look after the twins.” Mason offers. “We’ll bring them up to visit.”

“I’m, no, no I don’t I don’t want them seeing her like this they won’t understand and they’ll try and wake her up then get upset when she doesn’t.” Axel tells him. “Mace will you take me back to the show so I can get changed and gather up some of her things, then bring me back? And Dad can you stay here with her please? I don’t want her on her own. If she wakes up alone she’s going to be terrified.”

“Is that Okay?” Mason asks a nurse who is constantly in the room, keeping a twenty four hour watch over Ellie.

“That’s fine, but we need to limit the visitation to one person between 2 and 4pm, okay?” The nurse replies and asks. Axel nods, and then goes to kiss Ellie’s cheek.

“I love you.” He tells her, and then leaves with Mason while his dad sits and watches over Ellie.

“Mr Causton.” A male voice calls out as he and Mason are about to leave the Intensive Care Unit. Both Axel and Mason turn to see a male nurse stood there with a clear plastic bag in his hands, containing what Axel knows to be Ellie’s costume.

“The doctors had to cut this off of Your wife” He tells Axel, and then also produces a smaller bag containing Ellie’s wedding and engagement rings.

Axel draws in a breath at that, and takes the smaller bag while Mason takes the bigger bag. He looks up to meet the nurse’s eyes, and whispers a thank you to him, before he and Mason leave the unit, and make their way back through the corridors, down the elevator, and out into the car park.

“You okay?” Mason asks, full of concern. Axel just shakes his head, and then let’s out a sob. He brings the back of his hand to his mouth to stifle his cries.

“Come on, let’s go at least get you out of your costume.” Mason speaks as he wraps an arm around Axel, and leads the way to the car, and helps him into the passenger seat.

“Don’t turn the radio on.” Mason instructs as he gets in and starts the car. “My sister has already called me to say there are press everywhere at the show. They’re probably gonna try and hound you when you get back. It’s just newspapers, it’s just what they do. Just ignore them, and stay with me.”

Axel breaths deeply, bringing himself under control, and nods.

“Did you ever drop anyone?” He finally asks a few minutes later.

“I dropped my sister from six meters once.” Mason tells him. “But six meters is six meters. She just got up and came straight back up.”

“What act?” Axel asks now.

“Straps.” Mason replies. “I was really stupid and forgot to use resin. But she was fine like I said she just got up and we carried on.”

“It’s still high though.” Axel concludes, and reaches up to remove his bandana, and begins to remove his hair extensions, so his hair returns back to its normal medium length.

When they reach the circus, there are multiple journalists outside waiting. Mason just drives past them, through the show’s gates and round to where Axel’s trailer is parked. He helps him out and into his trailer, and leaves him to go and get himself cleaned up. While he himself goes off to his sister’s trailer, and knocks on the door.

“Come in.” He hears his sister call, and very quickly, before a journalist has a chance to see which trailer he has gone to, the steps inside and closes the door again.

“Oh god Mason please tell me she’s okay.” Mason’s sister, Ellie’s mother, Emilia, begs of her brother.

“She’s comatose.” Mason tells her. He looks round for the twins, but then realised it’s not even eight in the morning. Chances are they were up incredibly late and haven’t woken up yet. This theory is confirmed when he spots the two little bodies in travel cots in the living room.

“She’s broken both her arms and her left leg.” Mason carries on telling his sister. “Her spine is fine, there’s no problem there, all is good there. But she’s um, well, she’s not going to remember much if anything when she wakes up. They think core memories, core people could be there, but they don’t know for definite. They also think there’s going to be some permanent damage too.”

“Oh god.” Emilia cries, and so Mason hugs her, showing his support and loyalty to her.

“Now they’re okay with somebody being with her twenty four hours a day but it’s one person only between two and four pm and naturally that should be Axel.” Mason tells her, to which she agrees.

“How is Axel? Are his panic attacks okay? He’s doing okay?” Are the next set of questions from Emilia as she takes a step back and looks up at her brother.

“He’s here. I just brought him back to get changed. He’ll probably come over in a few minutes to see the twins.” Mason tells her, and as if right on cue, there’s a hurried knock on the door, so Mason quickly pulls it open. Sure enough, there stands Axel. No longer wearing his costume, he now wears a pair of blue jeans, a black t shirt and a n unzipped Marvel hoodie, with his medium length brown hair curled from the water of the shower.

“My maman is taking care of the dogs.” He speaks up as he enters the trailer, closes the door behind him, and looks over to see the kids fast asleep in their travel cots.

“How are they not awake?” He asks in shock, “What did you do to them and how can I do that?”

“You did it!” Ellie’s mother tells him, and then goes over to hug him. “They were up until about three after what happened.”

“Continuously?” Axel asks, still stunned.

“Yeah.” Ellie’s mother nods. “Axe, how are you holding up? You want a coffee or anything?”

Axel doesn’t reply, he just nods, and goes to look out of the window at the huge tent. Immediately he draws in a breath, as his eyes widen. Then he turns and screws his eyes shut, suddenly gasping for air.

“Woah, okay.” Mason speaks in a calm tone as he comes over, and places a hand on Axel’s arm, but the young man flinches and pulls his arm away. He sinks to the floor, drawing his knees to his chest and resting his head in his hands, rocking back and fourth as he begins to cry.

“Okay come on.” Mason again speaks as he picks Axel up off of the floor, and takes him to sit on the couch. “Breathing, in through your mouth out through your nose.”

“That’s the wrong way!” Axel panics.

“Which is why it’s gonna work because it’s gonna make you think about it.” Mason lays it down. “Now do it.”

As Axel forgets what’s going on around him and focusses on his breathing, he allows Mason to pulls his hands down away from his face, and with him being so focussed on the breathing, Mason is able to lift Axel’s left sleeve, just checking his forearm.

“I haven’t done anything.” Axel raises his voice, letting Mason know fully that he does register what he is doing.

“Papa.” One of the sleeping toddlers lets out a cry, and as if nothing had ever happened, Axel lifts his head, and goes over to his daughter’s travel cot, and picks her up.

“Hey Bonnie.” He speaks softly, and holds her as she lays her head on his shoulder, and drifts back off to sleep.

“One of my biggest fears, is that she won’t remember our children.” Axel tells his mother in law and Mason. “They’re only one, I can’t explain to them that mommy can’t remember them.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Emilia tells him, and watches as he kisses Bonnie’s forehead before lying her back down in the cot.

“Okay so, I want to say something before Mason takes me back up the hospital. Don’t have a go at me for it just, just think about it.” Axel begins, gaining Emilia and Mason’s attention. “Don’t cancel the shows tonight. There is press out there, waiting for everything and anything they can do to cause a shit storm on the Internet. Both Ellie and I were raised in show business And have always lived by the show must go on. Each of us have solo routines practiced if for some reason the other can’t work. With the aerial not the skating. When they quiet time starts at the hospital, I’ll come back, do the shows and then go back. I have a solo static trapeze and give me a week or two and I can have the lasers up and running.”

“You’ve never been in the ring on your own before.” Mason points out. “You sure about it?”

“Yeah.” Axel nods. “It’s what she’d want, it’s what I’d want if it was me that couldn’t work. Ironic think is, my solo music is The Show Must Go On by Queen.”

Mason can’t help but snigger at that.

“Okay.” Emilia sighs. “If you’re sure then you can do it. But you work on a lunge. Mason I want you to have his sedatives and shit ready backstage in case he freaks out.”

“Fine by me.” Axel agreed to his mother in laws terms.

“When you come back, I’ll head up there to sit with Ellie, that way she’s not alone and it gives your parents quality time with their grand babies.” Emilia smiles.

“Okay I’m ready to go back up there now.” Axel turns back to Mason. Mason just nods and picks up his car keys.

“I can drive myself up there is you want.” Axel offers.

“Nope.” Mason tells him, putting emphasis on the P. “You have a flashback or a panic attack you’ll kill someone. You can start driving again when we move. Right now it’s too fresh.”

Axel just nods, then quickly goes to lean over each travel cot and kisses his children, and then heads out of the door with Mason, hoping for some sort of positive change when they arrive back at hospital.