Status: Just a fun random story for you guys (feat. Tom Holland)

EP and Boy Wonder: The Tale of Pierre Bouvier and the Part Plasma Prince

“Tom isn’t one of my muses.”

“So, what about it?”

I jumped as EP appeared next to me again.

“What about what, EP?”

EP smirked, leaning against the kitchen counter. “I could get Tom here and you could pitch the story to him.”

I rolled my eyes. “You can’t just-“

There was a soft pop and then a voice going, “What in the bloody hell?”

I blinked and there standing in the middle of the kitchen was a very shocked Tom Holland. His eyes were wide and he just stared at EP and I.

I blinked again. “Um...hi...”

“What?” Tom’s brow furrowed. “What in the world?”

I groaned shooting a hard look at EP. “I am really really sorry about this...uh...I’m Marly...and this idiot is EP.”

Tom seemed to pull himself together, digging his hands into the pockets of the hoodie he was wearing. “Where am I?”

I rubbed at my face. “An apartment in Perth, Australia. EP...brought you here.”

Tom blinked casting his eyes over to EP who was still leaning in the counter. “EP?”

EP lifted a hand in greeting. “Eh. Evil Pierre.”

“Huh? What kind of name is that?”

EP snorted. “It’s to help differentiate from my brother Pierre.”

Tom opened his mouth then closed it again, shaking his head. “You’re called Pierre and your brother is called Pierre? Okay...”

I stepped in between the two of them. “I am sorry...I’m sure you were in the middle of doing something...”

Tom scratched at his head. “Yes, I was actually in Loch Lomond with my dad on the golf range there.”

EP said, “Golf! I love golf.”

I slapped at his arm. “You’re not helping.”

Tom’s smiled awkwardly. “You should...uh... go there some time.” Then he squeezed his eyes shut and muttered, “This isn’t real...I’m dreaming.” He opened one eye slightly and looked at me. “This isn’t a dream, is it?”

I gave a rueful shake of my head. “No. You’re here. EP can teleport people at will.”

“Pierre’s better at it than me.”

I glared at him. “Your point?”

EP shrugged. “I’m not so good at sending people back to where they came from.”

Tom rocked on his feet, glancing around. “Could I...”

I motioned to the kitchen table. “Sit down...guess I should explain.”

Tom shuffled over to a chair and sank down on the one closest to the wall. “What am I doing here, anyway?”

“EP wants me to write a story and he thought I needed some inspiration.” I lifted my shoulders. “He thought you could be in the story. But, it’s not like I actually need you here in person.” I shot EP another look.

EP laughed a little. “Well, you always do better when your muses are close at hand.”

I palmed my face. “Tom isn’t one of my muses.”

Tom tilted his head. “Muse?”

I looked at him, noting that he was gazing at me with an almost intrigued expression. His eyes were so expressive...his whole face was. No wonder he made a good Spider-Man. I shook my head averting my eyes.

“EP here is one of my writing muses. Though he hasn’t helped much lately.”

EP growled, “And that’s why I brought Tom here. A fresh perspective.”

I turned and stabbed a finger at him. “Without asking him first! Without warning! Seriously, everyone else I met first. And built a relationship with.”

Tom sat forward. “Excuse me? Can I just say something.”

EP and I both looked at him. “Of course.”

“What exactly do you need inspiration for?”

I laughed a little. “Oh, I write fiction.” I flushed. “It’s a tad embarrassing, even though I enjoy it.”

“Embarrassing?”

“I write fan fiction. Mainly featuring his band.”

Tom looked at EP and I saw the dawning recognition in his eyes. “Hang on a sec...you’re from Simple Plan.”

“You know my band?”

Tom leaned back on the chair. “It’s not my style, but. Yeah. I’ve heard of you guys.” He looked at me again. “You’re obviously a fan.”

“Yes. Hence the fan fiction. Anyway, EP thought I should write a Pierre fanfic with Spider-Man in it. But, with you as an actor in the story playing Spider-Man.” I rolled my eyes again. “So...yeah...that’s why you’re here. Even though it’s so unnecessary...and basically amounts to kidnapping.”

Tom actually laughed. “That sounds wild.”

I met his gaze then laughed myself. “Yeah...I guess.”

EP snorted. “It might help.”

I looked pointedly at him. “You should send him back.” I looked at Tom. “Don’t you need to do some extra shooting for that other film you’re doing?”

Tom gave a slight nod before glancing at EP. “I’m sure you meant well. But this is just a tad weird for me.”

EP groaned. “I try to help...”

I glared at him. “Kidnapping is illegal.”

“Alright, alright. But, maybe you should get Loki or Pierre to do it.”

Tom interrupted, sharply, “Did you just say ‘Loki’?”

“Oui, Loki. God of mischief.”

Tom’s brow furrowed. “He’s not a real person.”

EP scoffed, “Sure he is. I’ve met him.”

“What?” Tom stared at him as if he’d grown horns. “He’s a fictional character. He was in Avengers Infinity War...briefly. I met the guy who played him.”

I smiled a little. “You did press with him.”

“That’s right. Loki isn’t real.”

EP chuckled. “I’m not real either; neither are you. We’re both figments of Marly’s imaginations. Two of her many muses.”

Tom dragged a hand over his face. “I really am dreaming.”

I got up and walked over to EP, waving my hands at him. “Go will you. I’ll sort this out myself.”

“Fine, fine. See ya round, kiddo.” EP nodded to Tom before vanishing from the kitchen.

Tom blinked hard. “Did he just...?”

“Yes, he did. Look, Tom, I know I keep apologising, but I truly am sorry for all this.”

He shook his head. “I’d say it was okay, but...” He looked at me, brow creasing once more. “I’m really not sure how to feel about this.”

I gave a sad smile. “Welcome to my world.” I gave a self deprecating laugh. “I’ll get you back to where you were.”

Tom nodded and made to get up, but then he paused, looking at me again. “You know, I’d be interested in helping you out with that story sometime.”

I actually felt my cheeks flush and rolled my eyes. “You serious?”

He smiled at me. “Yeah, mate. Could be fun.” He shrugged. “I’m sure your...friend can always kidnap me again.”

“Haha. Don’t encourage him, Tom.” I pushed away from the bench and held out my hand. He looked at it then at me. I smiled. “I have to be touching you to be able to get you back.”

He took hold of my hand. “Okay...”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes to focus. “Do me a favour.”

“Okay?”

“Visualise the golf course for me.”

“Alright...do you need me to tell you?”

“No, just picture it in your mind, please...” I took another breath.

“How can you...?”

I opened one eye and looked at him. “Trust me.” I smiled at him then closed my eyes again. I heard him give a sigh and his hand tightened slightly on mine. As it did an image began to form in my mind. “Right....don’t freak out.”

“Wha-“

I couldn’t help but laugh a little as I vanished us both right in the middle of the Loch Lomond golf course.

I opened my eyes and looked next to me where Tom was standing, eyes wide.

“Wow. That was amazing!”

I looked away from him and across the golf course and took in a sharp breath. “This place is amazing.”

“What? Oh, yes, it is beautiful, isn’t it. Dad brought us out here for a break.”

I turned back to him. “After the craziness of the release of Spider-Man?”

“Exactly. Golf is my way of winding down. Well, one of the ways.”

I nodded, smiling. “EP and Pierre enjoy golf for the same reason.” I scratched at the back of my head. “Anyway, I should probably get back home...and let you find your family.”

Tom tucked his hands beneath his armpits and tilted his head at me. “Thanks for bringing me back...this has been...interesting.”

I snorted. “Tell me about it.” I cleared my throat. “You’ve been a good sport about this, though. So thanks....I wish I could make up for this.”

Tom shrugged, as he cast his gaze around. “Well, my offer to help with your writing stands.” He gave me a quick smile then lifted a hand a little. “There’s my family. Thanks again.” He paused before turning and looking at me. “I should give you my number.”

I blinked but before I could respond he grabbed my hand and pulled a pen from his pocket and scrawled some numbers on my palm. I couldn’t help but giggle and then he stepped away, waved and then turned and loped away across the rolling green...

Okay, I need to leave before I start waxing lyrical. Suffice to say, I got Tom back safe to Loch Lomond, and now I can get back home and try to avoid getting into an argument with EP.

Huzzah!