Wasted Nights

“I need to eat!” Tomoya declared loudly, his hands placed over his stomach for effect and pouting.

Remi stood quietly near the front lounge, feeling herself fidget as the men went back and forth in conversation in a mixture of Japanese and English. She had a feeling that had she not been on their bus, these men would be conversing comfortably in their native tongue rather than making the effort to include her by speaking in English. From what she could make out from the conversation that was happening, it sounded like they were debating on what to eat for lunch as it was approaching noon. In the last five minutes since she agreed to hang out with the guys on their bus for the day, the three men seated on the lounges were in a spirited debate about what kind of food to get for lunch.

Taka would speak every now and then, his answers a mixture of English and Japanese like the rest of his bandmates but for the most part, he remained quiet, leaning against the counter of their kitchen area as he snuck glances at the shy brunette that stood only a few feet from him. Every now and then, their eyes would meet and they would shyly smile at one another before forcing their eyes elsewhere. Taka hated to admit it but Remi made him feel like a schoolboy with crush once again and he really enjoyed the feeling. He was happy that she seemed to be in much better spirits than their first encounter but he could still see the tinge of sadness in her eyes or the expression of exasperation that would make its way onto her face when she looked swept up in her thoughts. It was in these candid moments when she didn’t know anyone was looking that Taka was the most fascinated by her.

There was something about her that was just compelling him to learn more, though he wasn’t sure why.

“Remi, do you know of anywhere good to eat around here?” Toru asked, his deep voice breaking her concentration on the absent space across from Taka and forcing her attention back to the conversation at hand.

“Oh, uh,” she said, momentarily pausing and bringing her right index finger to her lower lip, tapping it rhythmically as she tried to think of a few places close by. Remi wasn’t completely sure where she should take the guys, considering every time she was in Los Angeles, she usually just followed Marcus around where he wanted to go. Los Angeles was just too big and full of so many choices that the thought of Remi having to make a decision in this city usually just made her head hurt. Looking at the band as they waited for her to answer, Remi decided that more information was required before she made any decisions about lunch spots. “I guess it depends on what you’re in the mood for. Did you guys figure out what you want to eat?”

“I think we’ve convinced Tomoya that hamburgers are the best option,” Toru replied, flicking his blond hair out of his eyes.

“Well, there’s a diner not too far from here that has really good burgers and chili fries,” Remi suggested with a shrug of her shoulders, trying to suppress the pain she felt at the memories of her and Marcus going there after shows bubbling forward in her mind. “We could go there.”

“Let’s do that because I hungry!” Tomoya said, walking towards the exit of the bus.

“I guess that’s the plan,” Taka shrugged, gesturing for Remi to walk ahead of him.

Remi just smiled and followed behind Toru and Ryota, who were already nearing the door. Once outside, Remi started digging through her bag for her dark blue reflective aviators, slipping them on so that it wasn’t nearly as blinding outside. She noticed that the rest of the guys also had different styles of sunglasses on, ranging from the really cool aviators that Ryota had on to the adorable rounded lenses Taka had on that made him look like a pilot. Standing in place for a moment, the guys slowly turned their attention to Remi, who was more focused on trying to find her Chapstick than realizing that she was the center of attention. When she finally pulled out the vanilla scented lip balm, she noticed that was being stared at by the rest of the group since she was the only one that knew where they were going.

“I’m sorry! Um, let’s head down this alley and then we hang a left onto the main street,” she explained, gesturing in the general direction they were supposed to walk.

The group began their walk towards the diner with Toru and Ryota discussing something in Japanese amongst themselves while Tomoya hummed a random tune. Remi and Taka were in the front of the pack as Remi was the one leading the guys to where they needed to go. Though things between them had been relatively quiet, it was comfortable. Remi was astonished at how at ease she felt with someone that she’d barely known for an hour. Despite the comfort of their silence, Remi found herself racking her brain for some type of conversation she could start with him. Since she didn’t know him that well, she could literally start anywhere with a conversation but all her openers didn’t seem like enough to generate an interesting conversation for longer than a couple of minutes, which flustered her.

She wanted to avoid another embarrassing situation with this man, considering she did not make the best first impression with her emotional hysterics and clumsiness.

“So, you said you’re from San Diego, right?” Taka asked, chuckling at the fact that Remi had jumped a bit in surprise, startled by his sudden question.

“Oh, yeah,” she nodded.

“What do you do out there?” he asked.

“Nothing too exciting. I work as an editor in a small publication house,” she shrugged. “Basically, I just read books for grammatical and spelling mistakes. You’d think it’s be more interesting but really, it’s just tedious how many mistakes writers make.”

“Still, there have to be some interesting books that you get to read before anyone else,” he said.

“I guess. I didn’t originally set out for this. I mean, I’ve always loved books but somehow, I thought I would do more than just become the professional spell checker, you know?” she sighed. “I mean, did you always know you wanted to sing?”

Taka laughed a bit, nodding his head, “I knew when I was a kid and would sing my father’s songs. My parents are both famous singers in Japan and so is my little brother. It’s just something that seemed to fit.”

“Oh, so it’s like the family business?” Remi asked, her tone joking and light.

“I guess you could call it that,” Taka shrugged. “Music is my passion so I can’t imagine doing anything else really.”

“Yeah, he says this now,” Toru interjected, forcing Remi to look over her shoulder at the tall blond man walking behind her, “but I had to pester him into this band when we were teenagers.”

“Well, it worked out for the best, didn’t it?” Remi laughed.

“He stalked me for a year when he was recruiting me. He kept showing up to my part-time job, asking me to join his band,” Taka said with a deadpan expression though his tone was slightly playful.

“And you still joined the band. Obviously, Toru’s methods worked well if they managed to wear your down enough to agree,” Remi said, gesturing for the group to turn the corner. “Alright, it’s just at the end of this block on the corner over there,” Remi said, pointing towards the edge of the building with the large neon pink sign over the door.

“Grease Pit?” Ryota read slowly, sounding out the words as the group moved closer.

“Yeah, it’s just a regular American diner with the typical 50s decor. Though it seems a little gimmicky, they have an excellent menu,” Remi told them, grabbing the handle to the door and pulling it open. “After you all,” she said, gesturing for them to go inside the building.

The Japanese band filed into the restaurant with Remi following behind them. Remi moved so that she was standing next in between Tomoya and Taka, noticing that the men were too busy looking around at the interesting decor. The room reminded her of the typical retro style restaurant from Grease with the black and white checkered linoleum floors and shiny red vinyl booths. There was a large jukebox in the center of the room playing modern alternative music. The walls were decorated in neon signs and old advertisements for Coca Cola and the few beers available on tap behind the large counter. Near the register at the end of the counter was a cold case that held various pies and desserts for purchase, reminding Remi suddenly of Marcus and his love of key lime pie that the diner offered.

Grease Pit was one of Marcus’s regular haunts with Remi when they were together. She remembered their first date taking place in this very restaurant, the memory a fond one of her time together with Marcus. As Remi looked around the busy restaurant now, her eyes landed on the corner booth where she and Marcus usually sat, making her frown a bit when she saw a new couple now seated there and enjoying their meal together. Remi didn’t seem to realize that after today, she wouldn’t have a reason to come back until she was standing there with the band who has asked her for a recommendation of somewhere to eat. Her trips to Los Angeles wouldn’t be as frequent anymore.

A familiar man with bright red hair and freckles approached the group, snapping Remi out of her thoughts as he started gathering menus from the podium near where they stood. This particular waiter always seemed to be on shift whenever Remi came to this restaurant. She noticed the way he looked over the men she was surrounded by with curiosity before his eyes settled on her with an expression of familiarity. She glanced down at his name tag, seeing the name Eric displayed in black letters, before meeting his eyes once again.

Offering her a smile, he said, “Welcome back. It’s been a while since you’ve been here.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s nice to see you again,” she said, feeling slightly awkward for being remembered by the waiter.

“Where’s the guy you’re usually with?” he asked, tilting his head a bit.

Remi felt tense at the mentioning of Marcus, chewing on the bottom of her lip with nervousness. She knew that Taka was fully aware of her situation but the rest of the guys were completely oblivious to who they were currently talking about. She didn’t know if she should explain to them that she was still reeling from the break up that took place only about an hour or so ago. The only reason that Taka knew about it at all was because he caught her in a vulnerable state and was there for her emotional break down, thus earning some explanation for what he stumbled into that morning. She let out a shaky sigh, trying to compose her conflicting emotions when she felt a hand gently patting the middle of her back in a comforting manner. Glancing to the side, she saw that Taka was looking at her with a soft smile as if he were encouraging her.

She had to admit, Taka’s smile made her feel instant relief.

“She’s traded up to our group this time,” Taka said jokingly, making her laugh.

“Well, would you guys like a booth or to sit at the counter?” the waiter asked.

“Booth please,” Tomoya replied, the “th” sound sounding more like “sh” when he spoke.

“Well, follow me,” the waiter said, leading the group towards a large booth near the back of the restaurant.

Ryota and Tomoya were the first ones to slide into the booths so they were closest to the window overlooking the streets of Los Angeles. Toru slid into his spot next to Ryota while Remi decided to sit across from him, sliding in next to the cheerful Tomoya, who just smiled at her warmly. Taka decided that rather than sit across from Remi, he wanted to remain as close to her as possible, sitting on the end of their booth seat with his arm casually draped over the back of the seat so Remi wasn’t cramped between the two men uncomfortably. She glanced at him briefly, meeting his sparkling eyes momentarily before quickly casting her eyes down to the fidgeting hands in her lap as a tinge of pink spread across her cheeks.

Toru watched the interaction between the American girl and the lead singer carefully, silently noting that Taka hadn’t seemed to leave Remi’s side yet. He was curious about why Taka seemed to be so taken with her, especially given how closed off he had been since the start of this tour. This was the first time in a while where Toru finally saw Taka acting like himself so he wanted to know what exactly it was about Remi that had snapped him out of his miserable state. He wanted to make sure that Taka wasn’t going to backslide into his distress from the start of the tour.

The waiter passed out the menus causing Tomoya to hum in delight as he looked over the items. As Remi had been a frequent visitor to this restaurant, she didn’t really need to look over the menu, knowing she was going to get the bacon cheeseburger and fries with a chocolate milkshake. She watched as Tomoya kept asking Toru questions in Japanese, pointing to certain menu items with confusion before Toru’s responses seemed to give him clarity, causing him to nod in understanding. Remi found the entire exchange rather adorable, causing her to smile brightly at Tomoya when he caught her eye. Ryota silently looked over the menu, seeming to make up his mind rather quickly, and then focused his attention outside of the restaurant. Taka was pensively studying the menu, his index finger tapping his bottom lip as he seemed to be debating what to get. He looked over at her briefly, causing Remi to quickly avert her gaze when she realized that she had been watching Taka for a while, suddenly finding Toru’s knowing gaze that caused her to shrink a bit in her seat.

“Yosh! I know what I want!” Tomoya declared, slamming his menu shut.

“What did you finally decide?” Remi asked, trying to shift her attention away from staring at Taka or holding Toru’s questioning gaze.

“Chicken sandwich,” he replied with a nod.

Remi nodded along to his answer, “Good choice. Their chicken is pretty good.”

“You seem to know this place pretty well,” Toru said.

“I’ve come here a lot in the past, yeah,” she nodded, finding herself fidgeting under his scrutinizing gaze. “Whenever I used to come to LA for shows, this was the spot that I always found myself at for the pre-show meal.”

“Do you come to LA for shows a lot?” Ryota asked.

Remi nodded, “Yeah, I mean, San Diego has a lot of shows too but whenever there’s a band that doesn’t make it that far south, I come here for the show.”

“Who was the last band you saw?” Taka asked curiously, looking up from the open menu on the table.

“Oh, I think the last show I went to was a few months ago. I saw AFI here in Los Angeles,” she said, smiling at the memory of that night. “The next one after tonight’s show is Panic at the Disco, which will be back in San Diego but that’s not for another two months.”

“Sounds like fun,” Ryota said, chiming back into the conversation.

The waiter came back to the table, ready to take the group’s orders. After looking around at the table at the rest of the group, they started to place their orders with the younger redhead. Tomoya ordered his chicken sandwich, Toru and Remi got the bacon cheeseburger, Ryota ordered a BLT, and Taka ordered the mushroom burger. The guys got themselves Cokes for their beverages while Remi got the chocolate shake, earning curious glances from the men at the table. She just simply shrugged it off and leaned back against the vinyl seat of the booth, slouching down a bit so that her head was resting against the back of the seat.

“So, tonight is your first time seeing us?” Tomoya asked, leaning his elbows against the edge of the table so he was comfortably supporting his head in his hands.

Remi nodded, looking at the drummer with a smile, “Yeah. I think you are the first Japanese band I will have seen live.”

“We will have to make sure that we play well then since it's your first time," Ryota smiled.

"What song do you like best? Maybe it's on the list tonight," Tomoya asked.

"Oh, hmm," Remi said, pausing to think over the list of their songs she could think of off the top of her head, "well, I really like some of your older stuff like 'The Beginning' and 'Kanzen Kankaku Dreamer' but I think my absolute favorite is 'We Are.' When I heard that song for the first time, I think I cried because it was just so… meaningful," she explained, having some trouble with trying to match the words to the emotions she felt.

The first time she had heard that song was when she was with Marcus on one of their first dates. They had been discussing music and he told her that One OK Rock was one of his favorite bands. She had heard the name but wasn't really familiar with their music at all. They were walking along the beach near sunset when he pulled out his phone and started playing their 'Ambitions' album, explaining that while they have English versions of songs, he prefers their original Japanese versions so she might not understand all the words. When she first heard "We Are," she remembered being so absorbed in the song and the pastel colors of the horizon reflecting off the calm waters of the ocean that she didn't even realize that by the second verse, tears started falling freely from her eyes at the powerful words. It wasn't until Marcus gently brushed his thumbs under her eyes to help her get rid of the tears that she realized just how much the song had actually touched her. Whenever she heard the song now, she always remembered the sunset from that night and the feeling of connection she felt from the song.

That night was the night that she became a real fan of their music.

Taka watched as Remi seemed to slip into a daze, her eyes swimming in her thoughts, and gently reached his hand down so that he was touching her shoulder in a comforting manner. Remi jumped slightly at the contact, snapping herself out of her own thoughts as she looked to the lead singer beside her, offering him a smile of reassurance. She knew that he must be concerned about her considering how he stumbled across her earlier in the midst of her shifting emotions but when she thought back to how she discovered the band’s music, she didn’t really think of it as a painful memory. Sure, it was slightly painful now since they reminded her of the man that had just broken her heart but rather than dwell on the connection to Marcus, their music reminded her of just how much power there was in melodies and chords. Though she wasn’t their biggest fan, she still enjoyed the feeling of transportation their albums provided for her.

“Well, we’re playing most of your favorites,” Toru said after a moment of quiet between the group. “‘Kanzen Kankaku Dreamer’ isn’t on our setlist tonight though.”

“We tend to only play that one on the Asian tours rather than on our American ones,” Ryota explained.

Remi sighed, shrugging, “Two out of three on my favorites list isn’t so bad.”

Their waiter returned with a tray of drinks, setting them down accordingly in front of the right people. Remi immediately reached out for her milkshake, taking a sip of the sweetened drink from the straw and humming in delight at the taste. The guys chuckled at her reaction, turning their attention to the things they needed to accomplish before taking the stage for the show. Ryota and Toru had gone back to speaking Japanese, which Remi didn’t mind since she knew that their check list wasn’t really something that she should be privy to anyway. She just happily sipped her milkshake and watched as the men spoke with ease to one another, enjoying the sound of the language she didn’t understand that well.

Setting her glass back on the table, she looked beside her at Taka, who was laughing at something that Tomoya had just said. She knew that she shouldn’t focus so much attention on him but she couldn’t seem to help herself. There was something about him that forced her attention to him. She felt like it was sort of wrong to be so attracted to someone else, especially within the hour of her last relationship coming to an end, but Taka’s whole presence was captivating. He was the kind of person that just radiated positivity, which made people want to be around him. Remi knew that when she met him, she felt strangely comforted by him despite not knowing his name. It was his charisma and easy-going nature that suckered her in and led her to this moment, which she was going to enjoy.

Taka could feel Remi’s eyes on him, though he remained in conversation with Toru about needing to finish the packing so they could move their luggage to the hotel before sound check. He wanted to look at her as well but held himself back since he didn’t want the others to know just how interested the front man actually was in her. Toru was already suspicious enough about Taka’s intentions with inviting Remi to spend time with them on such a hectic day and while Ryota and Tomoya were relatively ignorant of Taka’s interest, once they got wind of it, he would become the subject of relentless teasing. He knew it was all in good fun but he also knew they would question his motivations as they would remind him that they had to return home the following day. He was already too obvious about just how interested he was in keeping her around.

Their food arrived shortly after that, ending the band’s conversation as the men started digging into their meals with glee. Tomoya was the happiest of the group, making little moans of delight as he took bites from his chicken sandwich. Remi was glad that they were satisfied with the food. She was a little concerned about suggesting somewhere for strangers to eat since she wasn’t aware of their tastes but considering they were probably used to eating an assortment of food on the road, she figured the place she knew the best would be the safest suggestion for them.

“So good,” Tomoya said, his voice slightly muffled by the bread in his mouth as he chewed.

“I’m glad you like it,” Remi smiled, popping a few fries in her mouth.

“Since we’re spending time together today, we should get to know each other,” Ryota suggested. “Is there anything about us that you’re curious about?”

“Considering I’m not too familiar with your guys outside of your music, I guess the basics would be a good place to start,” Remi said thoughtfully. “How old is everyone?”

“Well, I’m oldest!” Tomoya beamed, gesturing to himself. “I’m 32 but still young in my heart.”

“Ryota’s the youngest,” Toru said, gesturing to the only man at the table with facial hair that made him look a lot older to other people. “Taka and I are both 30 but his birthday is coming up soon,” Toru said with a playful smile that was directed at Taka.

“I know you guys are planning to cover me in cake as revenge,” Taka said with a smile. “I’m prepared.”

“Is that how you guys celebrate?” Remi laughed.

“Well, we always start with a cake with the intentions of just eating it but then, someone usually decides that the cake would be better smeared all over the birthday boy’s face,” Taka explained.

“Baka! You’re usually the first one to smash cake into the face!” Ryota laughed.

“I know he seems cool and everything but once you get to know him, you’ll realize that he’s devious,” Toru said with a mock glare in Taka’s direction. “He’s always pulling pranks on us.”

“Hey, you guys are just as bad!” Taka said in defense.

Remi laughed at their playful finger pointing, shaking her head, “I guess I’ll have to keep an eye on all of you today.”

“Well there’s no chance of cake since it’s no one’s birthday yet,” Toru said, taking a sip of Coke, “unless it happens to be your birthday then we can arrange a cake.”

“Oh no, my birthday isn't until August so there’s no cake required.” Remi said with a smile. “I’m not the biggest fan of people making a fuss on my birthday. Last year was great because the only people that actually remembered it were my parents. Everyone else just quietly ignored the fact that it was my birthday and it was perfect. My coworkers found out and were upset with me for not saying anything since they would’ve done a cake and lunch or something but I was so happy.”

“At least your parents remembered though,” Taka said as he picked up a fry from his plate.

“Yeah. I at least got a nice call from them so that was good. They live in Seattle so I don’t get to see them much. My family is the worst when it comes to organizing time together. We always forget that someone has a business trip or vacation scheduled during a time that works for everyone else.”

“Are you from Seattle?” Tomoya asked.

“Originally, I’m from Oakland, which is Northern California, but I moved when I got into university in San Diego. My parents moved to Seattle when I graduated university for a change of pace,” she explained. “I got a job in publishing after I graduated and have been there since. I kind of wish I travelled a bit after college since a lot of my friends were doing it but I had bills to pay so that was always difficult.”

“Was there anywhere in particular that you wanted to go?” Ryota asked curiously.

“Anywhere really,” Remi laughed. “I’ve only been along the coasts and to Mexico one summer in high school. I would love to go to Europe or South American or anywhere in Asia. I just want something different for a while.”

“Japan?” Tomoya asked, playfully wiggling his eyebrows at her.

“Japan would be cool though I would wind up completely lost there since I can’t read the language or speak it well. Though I’d also have to take a real vacation for once and I don’t see that happening soon,” Remi admitted with a sigh. “Now that the tour is over, do you guys finally get a rest or are there more shows soon?”

“We get to go home for a little while before we go back on tour in Asia and then Europe,” Taka told her, forcing her gaze back to him as he spoke.

“Well, at least you get to go home for a little bit and spend time with family and friends,” she smiled.

“I’m excited to see my girls again,” Ryota said with a shy smile.

“Your girlfriend?” Remi asked curiously.

“My wife and daughter,” he beamed.

“I’m sure they’ve missed you as well. It must be hard to be away from family if you’re on the road all the time,” she mused.

“It’s hard but it makes going home and finally seeing them worth it in the end,” Tomoya smiled.

“So do the rest of you have wives and girlfriends waiting for you?” she asked curiously. “Or boyfriends and husbands? I’m not discriminating!” she quickly added, not wanting to make assumptions about anyone at the table.

The guys all chuckled at her statement, Toru answering, “Well, Tomo has a wife and son at home and another one on the way. Taka and I are single so no one’s waiting for us.”

“What about you Remi? Do you have anyone special?” Tomoya asked with a smile.

Remi’s smile faltered as the innocent question reminded her that her relationship had just ended. The rest of the table seemed to notice her sudden shift in attitude as she looked down at the table with a slight frown. From her reaction, the rest of the band seemed to recognize that look of heartache since they had grown accustomed to seeing Taka with a similar expression for most of the tour. Taka was the only one at the table that seemed concerned. He knew that she had just suffered the break up with her boyfriend that morning since she had admitted that to him so he knew she was still reeling from it. Taka’s original plan of asking her to tag along was so that he could provide her with a distraction from her break up. He didn’t like that she was in pain from dwelling on it.

“I did,” Remi said quietly, forcing the attention back to her after a prolonged pause. “My boyfriend and I recently broke up.”

“I’m sorry,” Tomoya said with a pout, his expression one of guilt for causing the downtrodden mood.

“It’s ok Tomoya,” Remi said with a half-hearted smile. She didn’t want him feeling guilty for accidentally bringing up the fresh wound of her heart but she couldn’t seem to make the smile reach her eyes to offer him reassurance. “You didn’t know. It’s just- well, hmm,” she started to explain, having trouble finding the words she actually wanted to say to explain her feelings at that moment.

“You don’t have to explain,” Ryota said gently. “Let’s forget all about this and get the check so we can pack.”

“Sure,” she nodded, grateful that they weren’t pressing her for more information.

Toru summoned the waiter over to ask for the check while Remi played with the edge of her napkin, trying to pull herself out of the sudden wave of sadness that had crashed over her. Wordlessly, Taka had removed his arm from the back of the seat it had previously been draped over and moved his hand gently over the top of hers, gently caressing the back of her hand with his thumb. Remi’s eyes were focused on the hand currently atop hers, her head tilting to the side a bit once she registered that Taka was the one touching her, trying to offer some kind of support. She could feel her lips twitch upward into a smile at his gesture, taking a deep breath to keep her emotions from spilling over as they had previously in the day, momentarily shutting her eyes to relish in the gentility of his hand on hers.

Despite Remi’s insistence that she pay for her meal, the band refused to allow her to put money down on the bill. Toru circumvented the whole ordeal completely by simply handing his credit card over to the waiter the minute he came back with their check, making Remi frown as she pulled her wallet from her bag. She hadn’t intended them to treat her out to a meal but they continued to ignore her as she tried to peek at the check in order to pull out the necessary cash for reimbursement. She only stopped her attempts to pay her fair share when she locked eyes with Toru, seeing his steely expression as he told her to put her money away. She could only return her wallet to her bag, worried that she might have offended the guitarist due to his harsh tone. Once things were squared away with the check, the group left the restaurant. Remi and Taka were walking behind Ryota, Toru, and Tomoya as Remi directed them on how to get back to the venue when needed. The men all seemed to fall into a conversation once again, leaving Remi to drift off due to the language barrier.

As the group walked along the busy Los Angeles streets, Remi found herself lost in her thoughts, hearing bits and pieces of her conversation with Marcus floating to the surface of her mind. She didn’t really want to dwell on it anymore since it was definitely over but she couldn’t help it. She really thought the two of them were happy together. She never thought that coming to Los Angeles this morning would lead to the end of them being together. She was usually good at reading situations and determining whether something was wrong but when she sat down for coffee this morning and waiting for Marcus to arrive, there was nothing about the situation that screamed it was the end of their relationship. If anything, she was more disappointed and upset with herself for not recognizing that they were no longer functioning properly

“Are you ok?” Taka asked, snapping her out of her depressing thoughts.

Remi noticed that the other three were a lot farther away and in the midst of laughing at something that Ryota had said, meaning it was just her and Taka slowly heading back to the bus. She took a moment to look him over, realizing that even behind his sunglasses, she could feel the concern in his eyes. Remi was at a bit of a loss, questioning why she deserved his attention at all. Other than the extraordinary circumstances that forced them into acquaintance, Remi didn’t think there was anything interesting about her that would keep his attention. It was odd that he took such a chance on a stranger but she now that they were here in the moment together, she found her sorrow lessening a bit.

“I’ll be ok,” she shrugged in response to his question, not completely confident in her answer. “I’m sorry to be such a downer. Usually, I’m not so lost in my own thoughts.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Taka said, shifting his attention away from the girl at his side. “Break ups aren’t easy.”

“No, they are not,” she replied, her voice taking on the tone of the bitterness she felt.

“I know that you don’t know me very well but if you need to talk about what happened, I’m a good listener,” he offered quietly, sounding a bit shy as he spoke. “I know what it’s like to have relationships end without warning.”

“You too?” Remi asked curiously.

Taka sighed, shoving his hands into his front pockets, “Right before the start of this tour.”

“So, recently,” Remi nodded, processing the fact that Taka had gone through what she was going through. “I know the answer to this already but, well, I guess I just need to hear it out loud from someone else. Does it get easier?” she asked sheepishly, her gaze trained downward to her combat boots.

“It’s going to feel awful for a while but eventually, it does get easier,” he replied thoughtfully. “What helped me was that I was going on tour so I had plenty of distractions.”

“I guess I’m glad then that we ran into each other,” she said with a small smile. “You guys have been keeping me busy with conversation so it’s not so bad to deal with considering how soon it has been. I’m just worried about later tonight.”

“Like what if you run into him?” he asked.

Remi nodded, “Yeah. I know it’s a possibility but I’m not sure what it’s going to be like. He’s expecting me to go home, not be at the show. The last thing I want is to see him so soon after things fell apart.”

“The good news is, you won’t be alone,” Taka told her. “We have your back so you don’t have to be near him if you don’t want to be. Just point him out to us and I’m sure Toru will scare him off with his glare.”

Remi laughed, shaking her head at Taka’s suggestion, “You can’t do that to a fan! I would feel bad for turning you guys against him, especially since he’s the one that loves your music so much. I know I’m hurting but I don’t want him to suffer.”

“Just know, it’s an option,” Taka said with a small smile.

The pair reached the bus once again, Taka opening the door so that Remi could step onboard. They walked in and noticed Ryota standing near the bunks, moving stuff being handed to him by Tomoya from the very back of the bus. He paused momentarily once he noticed Taka and Remi’s presence on the bus. He opened his mouth about to say something to the pair only to be silenced by a half-full backpack sailing through the air from behind him, striking him in the back of the head before falling down to the ground. He slowly turned to glare at the drummer, not amused by getting hit with the luggage while Tomoya pressed his hands together in an apologetic gesture in front of his face, frantically repeating the apology in Japanese. Ryota just sighed, shaking his head at the older man before turning his attention back to Remi and Taka.

“Are you ok?” Remi asked him, trying to stifle her smile at the amusing scene.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you,” he replied, rubbing the sore spot on the back of his head where he was pelted with the bag. “Toru went to go talk to Hiro about the hotel for tonight,” he explained to Taka.

“Do you need help with packing back there?” Remi asked, pointing beyond the bassist's shoulder towards where Tomoya was located.

“Tomo’s got that back there,” he said, shooting her a sly smile, “but the kitchen needs to be packed.”

Taka glared at Ryota, remembering earlier when he had decided that Remi would clean the kitchen for them since he didn’t want to do it. Taka hadn’t actually meant for her to help them pack the bus, since she was a guest, but Ryota was all too happy to take her up on her offer to help them. Ryota just beamed at Taka with a triumphant expression, walking past the singer to show Remi what exactly needed to be thrown away or stored. Remi was happy to help in any capacity as she was serving as their guest. She didn’t want to be a major distraction to them when they were so busy so she was willing to do whatever was needed to make things easier on them. She considered it her way of earning her ticket to the show tonight.

Remi got to work, clearing out the cabinets and sorting everything into the proper bins. She noticed that a lot of their food had Japanese labels, which made it a little more difficult to decipher what exactly each food product was by picture alone but luckily, Taka had decided to pull his stuff out from the bunk area to the front so he was nearby to offer assistance. Remi would hold up a package she was unaware of and Taka would tell her what the food item was and whether it needed to be kept or tossed. Though Remi was moving fairly quickly through the tiny kitchen, she would unravel another new location where things were shoved, making her question the volume of food on the bus.

She had climbed up so that she was kneeling on the top of the counter as she was too short to reach all the way back into the upper cabinets where the last items were hiding.

“You guys sure brought a lot of food,” Remi said as she pulled out the third half-open package of seaweed out of the back of the upper cabinet.

“We picked some things up along the way when we could,” Taka replied, haphazardly folding his sleeveless shirts into squares and putting them in a pile near the bag.

“How many of you lived on this bus?” she asked curiously, examining the vegetarian options in the same cabinet.

“Well, there was us four,” Taka said, holding up one hand to count, “our manager, Hiro, Julen, our photographer, and Jamil, who helps with translating with the English-speaking staff.”

“That’s a lot of guys in one small space,” Remi said, trying to imagine what it was like to have seven guys squeezed into the bus. “How were you all comfortable?”

“Most of the time we were only here to sleep. If we were hanging out, it’d be in the back or we’d be out in whatever city we were in that day,” Taka explained.

“I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be on tour,” Remi said thoughtfully as she continued to dig through the cabinets. “I don’t think I would be great at being crammed into a small space with a bunch of people. I need my space.”

Taka chuckled at her explanation, grabbing his stack of shirts and placing them into his bag, “It takes getting used to. Honestly, I like going to all the different places and performing. It’s always a different experience.”

“It must be amazing to be on stage, seeing people enjoying something that you wrote,” she said.

“It is,” he replied, pausing for a moment to try and collect his thoughts. “It’s hard to explain what it’s like exactly. It’s pretty amazing.”

The bus door opened, momentarily frightening Remi and making her jump. She gripped the bottom of the cabinet to steady herself so she wouldn’t fall off the counter and sighed in relief when she felt herself stabilize. Taka at noticed that Remi had lost her balance for a moment, ready to rush over to her in case she fell off the counter, but stopped when she caught herself. Once she was safe, he turned his attention to the men that had walked onto the bus. Toru and their manager, Hiro, walked in, casually chatting about the set list for that evening. They paused when they noticed that Remi was kneeling on top their kitchen counter, still holding onto the bottom of the cabinets.

“Daijoubu desu ka?” Hiro asked with concern, his words too quick for her to decipher, making Remi furrow her eyebrows in confusion at the question.

”She doesn’t speak Japanese Hiro-san,” Taka said.

“Oh, right, sorry,” Hiro said, nodding in understanding. “You ok?” he asked again, looking at the young woman, holding a thumbs up gesture toward her.

“Oh, yeah. Thank you,” she nodded.

“Remi, this is our manager Hiro,” Toru said, gesturing to the older Japanese man. The pair nodded in acknowledgement at one another before Toru continued, “he’s going to put you on the list for tonight’s show.”

“Thank you,” Remi smiled.

She attempted to make her way off the counter but was having trouble with the amount of space she had as there were food items surrounding her legs. As she attempted to shift her body around so she could slide off the counter without knocking anything over, she suddenly felt a pair of hands on her hips, causing her to instinctively place her hands over the ones currently holding her. She felt herself being pulled backwards against a body so she could slide down to where her feet could comfortably touch the ground. She glanced behind her, seeing that Taka was the one that had grabbed her, his hands still on her hips and holding her body close to his. She was aware of the fact that her own hands were still over his, feeling her fingers gently caress his hand. Remi could feel herself flush at their close proximity, noticing that Taka was holding her gaze with an unreadable expression.

This was not the first time they had been so close today but something about this particular moment was different to Remi. It felt much more intimate than the other instances of physical contact that they shared. She couldn't explain why her heart was erratically beating in her chest or why the feeling of Taka’s hands gently squeezing her hips made a tingling warmth spread throughout her body but she enjoyed it. Remi felt completely comfortable with him, as if they were alone in their own little bubble. She knew that this feeling wasn’t completely rational, considering they were two strangers, but she couldn’t help it. He made her feel as if they were alone together on the bus, locked in a moment of their own understanding and enjoyment.

Toru cleared his throat loudly, forcing the pair out of their moment together as Taka quickly released his hold on Remi, allowing her to turn so she was facing the group. Toru marked the way Remi had begun to blush, chewing on her lower lip as she avoided Taka’s fixed look. When he turned his attention over to Taka, he noticed the same unreadable expression that Remi had seen, wondering what had been running through his mind. He was still skeptical about Remi’s presence on their bus, trying to figure out Taka’s real motives for having her here. At first, he thought that Taka was just curious about the girl but now, Toru thought that he had a real interest in her, which worried the guitarist. It didn’t seem worth the effort of pursuit given that their time together was limited. He knew that Taka deserved to have some distraction but he was worried about how the front man would handle it once they finally went their separate ways.

Hiro was oblivious to everything happening around him, holding out a lanyard with the colorful artwork of their most recent album towards the American, “This yours.”

Remi took the lanyard, trying to quell her emotions a bit. She studied the writing on the pass, noticing the name of the tour and the dates of the tour written on the other side. Along the bottom of the laminated placard, she noticed it read, “ALL ACCESS PASS” in big bold black letters, which made Remi’s eyes widen a bit in shock. Usually all access passes were only meant venue staff, management staff, and the band so she was surprised that she would be able to wander anywhere she pleased. It felt like it was too generous but had to refrain from refusing lest she seem ungrateful or rude. She wasn’t really in a place where she could question the manager about whether he was sure she should have the pass.

“Thank you,” she said at Hiro smiled at her, slightly bowing.

“I need last name for list,” he said, his English heavily accented and broken, as he pulled out his phone.

“Oh, my last name is Massey. M-a-s-s-e-y,” she spelled slowly as he typed away on the phone. Once he was done, he gave her another slight bow before he excused himself to head to the back of the bus where Tomoya and Ryota were. She looked at Toru, still holding the lanyard out in front of her as if someone were going to revoke it from her any minute, asking, “Are you sure this is the right pass?”

Toru laughed a bit, nodding his head, “Yeah. Hiro snagged an extra pass from the organizer since he couldn’t find the VIP badges.”

“Well, thank you again,” she nodded, slowly putting the lanyard around her neck so she wouldn’t lose the pass. She tucked the badge into her borrowed shirt so that it was hidden, not wanting it to get caught on anything while she continued with helping them pack. “So, I think I cleared all the upper cabinets now,” she said, shyly meeting Taka’s eyes.

“Great, I’ll help you put it away,” he offered with a smile.

“I’ll be clearing out my bunk in the back,” Toru said, his questioning eyes moving back and forth between Remi and Taka. “We have sound check in about an hour.”

Taka nodded at Toru in understanding as Toru pushed himself through the couple to head to the back of the bus. He tried his best to keep his expression as neutral as possible, knowing that he was going to face Toru’s questions sooner or later about what just occurred. Taka wasn’t sure what had possessed him to hold onto Remi as he did other than the immediate urge to make sure she got down from the counter safely. When he felt her body pressed against his, he felt this spark he hadn’t felt in a long time. Taka couldn’t deny being attracted to her since she was a beautiful woman but he was surprised at how forward he was in his actions toward her. Generally, when Taka was interested in someone, he moved slowly so they could get to know one another before he would seek some kind of physical contact. With Remi, however, he felt an inexplicable need to be in constant physical contact with her. It was odd to him that he found himself so drawn to her. Even though his actions thus far had been strictly platonic, Taka couldn’t discount the amount of times he seemed to seek her touch in the short period that she had made his acquaintance.

Remi and Taka fell into a comfortable silence as they began packing the kitchen up. It wasn’t long before Tomoya joined them, having been kicked out of the back area by Toru for not being efficient enough in the packing process. Remi was actually happy that he had joined them. Despite the fact that their silence had not been an uncomfortable one, Remi’s thoughts had started to drift to Marcus once again, making her feel her sadness creeping back into her mind. She grew anxious about potentially seeing him again tonight, especially after she received the all-access pass from their manager. She tried to picture the different scenarios in her mind of how that run in would go, all of which ended about as well as their morning break up so it made her slightly nervous. She knew it was silly to dwell on something that might not happen but she couldn’t help herself. Remi didn’t want to take chances with looking foolish once again.

The three of them had finished packing the kitchen and front lounge area in no time, stacking all the bags and containers near the front of the bus. Taka wandered towards the bunks, double checking whether he had grabbed all his clothing he needed to take with him while Tomoya stretched himself out on the lounge, typing away on his cell phone. Remi was seated at the tiny kitchen table, unsure of what to do with herself. She wanted to volunteer for more but was unsure of how else she could help the band with packing. She didn’t want to get in anyone’s way so she remained in the kitchen, mindlessly looking out of the window to the ally the bus was parked in, watching as people moved equipment into the venue.

There was a familiar, muffled shrill that filled the silence, forcing Remi to look for her bag when she realized that her phone was ringing. Tomoya was also looking for the source of the phone, startled by the sudden noise. Tomoya located Remi’s bag underneath Taka’s luggage beside him. He grabbed the bag and handed it over to Remi, who smiled gratefully at him.

She began rummaging around in the bag, looking for her phone until she found the Samsung device at the bottom of her purse, noticing “Hannah” flashing on the screen of the device. Remi stood there momentarily, silencing the ringer and watching as her phone buzzed in her hand. Hannah was a friend from university that now lived in the same neighborhood as Remi. It was actually through Hannah’s boyfriend that she was introduced to Marcus so they were all in a pretty tight friend circle back home in San Diego. Remi knew that she should answer the call and see what her friend needed but she knew that this would lead to questions about her time with Marcus, since Hannah knew that the pair were supposed to be spending the weekend together. Remi wasn’t sure she would be able to hold her emotions together as she spoke to her friend about what had occurred this morning, especially since it would lead to more questions about where Remi was and who she was with instead of being on the way home.

The ringing phone stopped, the call having been missed and thus, making Remi’s decision not to answer for her as she was still going through an internal debate. She looked at the silent phone, seeing Hannah’s name flagged as a missed call and sighed, feeling slightly guilty for ignoring her call. She knew that eventually she would have to call Hannah back but decided that calling her friend back would have to wait until later. She wasn’t in the head space to completely process the emotions her friend was bound to draw out of her by simply asking how her day was going. She didn’t want to leave the bubble the bus seemed to provide her with at the moment.

There was a pinging noise from the phone in her hand, forcing her attention to the screen once again. This time, there was a notification for a new text message from Hannah rather than a call or a voicemail. Unlocking the device, Remi opened the new text from her friend just to make sure it wasn’t an emergency situation she had just ignored.

Oh shit! I forgot you were spending the day with Marcus before the show tonight. Well, call me tomorrow when you have the chance!

Remi sighed a breath of relief that it wasn’t anything dire and tucked her phone back into her purse, trying to ignore the guilt she felt in not wanting to talk to her friend. She wasn’t usually one to push people away but, in this moment, Remi needed to distance herself from the reality of her situation. Remi just slid back into her seat at the kitchen table, placing her purse on top and refocusing on the world outside the bus. While she was on the bus with the band, it felt like she was protected from the harsh realities that awaited her outside. Remi knew that once she went back to her own world, she would have to deal with the heartbreak she shoved aside and answer the unending questions she knew her friends would ask so all she wanted was to prolong that as much as she could with distractions. Being with a band from Japan provided her with all the distraction she needed.

She was in the midst of a dream she had no intention of leaving any time soon, especially to return to the pesky real world.