Bandit Bride

“Elisa, Sir Bramfield won’t want to be kept waiting. What’s taking you so long in there?”

Elisa barley heard her mother hollering at her from the hall; she was regarding her reflection in the mirror and trying not to panic.

“Elisa? Elisa, are you listening to me?”

“I’m almost ready,” Elisa called back, raising her hand to her face. She started to chew on her cuticle anxiously but quickly dropped her hand. Her mother would not approve of her gnawing on her fingers on her wedding day.

Wedding day.

Elisa took several deep breaths. “I can do this. It’s no big deal, my sisters have done it. I can do this.”

She heard her mother sigh on the other side of the door. “Elisa, you know I don’t like it when you talk to yourself.”

“I’m practicing my vows,” Elisa mumbled, eyes darting to the window.

“Come on, Ellie, we want to see the dress!” Her third eldest sister rapped on the door. “Open up!”

Sampson and Judith Maycot had been blessed; or cursed, depending on the day you asked; with six daughters. And they had worked diligently to find distinguished matches for all of them. Elisa was last in line, and today was the day she was supposed to marry Thurston Bramfield. He was wealthy and handsome; arguably the most desirable single man in the city. Judith had been over the moon when he expressed an interest in Elisa and Elisa had agreed to the marriage to be a dutiful daughter. But the sight of her reflection with that wedding dress...it all felt real now. Real and nauseating. The green-eyed girl in the mirror looked like a petrified ghost.

“We’re going to break the door down.” All her sisters were crammed into the hall now. To save her poor bedroom door from their impatience, Elisa scurried across the room and wrenched it open.

“Oh, Ellie, you look beautiful,” Maria cooed.

“Like an angel,” Norah agreed. Elisa was swept up in a cloud of perfume and rustling skirts as all five of her sisters crowded in around her. Maria cinched up the ribbons on the back of the bodice, Poppy and Ester began arguing over how best to do her hair, Norah pinched her cheeks to bring out some color, and Faith; the eldest; just gave her a sympathetic smile and patted her shoulder.

“Alright girls, be quick about it,” Judith clucked. “We have to get to the chapel soon. Sir Bramfield must be there by now and the men are waiting downstairs with the carriages.”

“Why don’t you all go ahead, so you can be seated before the ceremony.” Elisa squeezed out of her sister cluster, feeling suddenly claustrophobic. “I’ll bring up the rear, to make sure Sir Bramfield doesn’t see me beforehand. Bad luck and all, you know. We don’t want to jinx the marriage before it’s even started.”

The smile she plastered on her face felt manic but her family didn’t seem to notice. Faith, Maria and Poppy gathered up their children who were chasing each other around the house, herding them into the waiting carriages.

“I can ride with you,” Judith offered and Elisa shook her head.

“No, no. That’s okay. Go with father. I need to collect my thoughts.”

“Don’t be nervous, dear.” Judith patted her hand. “You’ve seen this done enough by now; you know what to expect.”

“I know.”

“If you’re worried about tonight, just remember what I told you before-“

“Mother!” Elisa grimaced and covered her ears. “Please. Not this again. Believe me, I remember what you told me before. I never need to hear it repeated. Ever.”

Judith rolled her eyes. “Well hurry along, Elisa. Don’t be late. We’ll meet you there.”

Her mother bustled out and Elisa was left standing alone in the foyer. She tugged at the laces Maria had just finished tying; she must’ve made them too tight because Elisa could hardly breathe. Her knees buckled and she sank onto the couch while she tried to calm down.

“It’s just marriage,” she told herself. “It’s only the rest of my life. With a man I barely know.” A strange keening sound escaped her lips and she took several more deep breaths. Then she stood, heart pounding. “I can’t do this.”

She jumped as the door opened; the driver of her carriage poked his head tentatively in. “I’m sorry, Miss, but we really should be going before we’re late.”

“Right. Of course.” Elisa gathered up her skirts and followed him out. He helped her into the lavish carriage Bramfield had arranged for her before climbing up to his seat and adjusting the reins. As the carriage set off down the road, Elisa made a decision. She pushed the door open, watching the road flash by below. She glanced up toward the driver; he was whistling a jaunty tune and the horses’ hooves were beating loudly against the ground. If she was going to escape it had to be now. Before she lost her nerve, she leaped out of the carriage. She tumbled against the grass with an undignified “oomph.”

The carriage driver kept going, unaware that his passenger had escaped. The carriage door flapped in the wind a few times before swinging shut again. Elisa scrambled to her feet, darting across the road and into the thick of the forest before the driver could notice her. The hem of her voluminous gown was dirty, a sleeve was ripped, and her dark hair was falling down out of its elegant up-do. Elisa stopped and leaned against a tree, a wild laugh rising in her throat.

What did I just do? She had stood up her fiancé. Her parents were going to be furious. Elisa stood there for a while, considering her options. She couldn’t exactly show up at the wedding ceremony in this condition, even if she wanted to; and she couldn’t go home. Not yet, anyway. If she did her parents would just make up some excuse to Thurston Bramfield and try to arrange another date for the wedding. Elisa didn’t know what she was going to do now but she knew one thing: she wasn’t marrying that man. She’d find a farm and pretend to be a goat for the rest of her life before she went through with this marriage.

At a loss for anything else to do, she just kept walking. Her beaded slippers and silk dress weren’t very good hiking apparel but she marched on, hoping to find another town. The shadows around her lengthened as the sun started to set and she tried not to think about how upset her parents must be. Fortunately her feet felt like they were going to fall off, she was starving, and it was getting cold; so she had a lot on her mind to distract her from all the angry people back home.

“I’ll write a letter when I get to a town,” she muttered. “I’ll explain that I just couldn’t go through with it. I’ll get a job or something. They don’t have any daughters left to worry about; do I really need to get married anyhow?”

A brush rustled and Elisa froze, gaze darting around the woods. It was starting to dawn on her just how crazy this had been. She couldn’t have run off in the direction of the city, no, she had run into the dark, spooky woods instead.

“Hello?” she called and then rolled her eyes. “Stupid. It was probably a rabbit.”

“Not quite.”

Elisa jumped nearly a foot in the air, whirling around to see several tall shadows slide out of the trees. Four men. Armed men. One of them strolled forward, blade pointed casually at her.

“What’s a pretty turtle dove like you doing out here all alone?” He smirked and eyed her fancy dress and jewelry.

“I ran out on a wedding,” Elisa replied. She was fairly certain that had been a rhetorical question but the whole day had been so surreal that she felt she needed to tell someone. “My wedding. I was supposed to get married today.”

“Well that’s very nice. Now just hand over-“

“But I couldn’t do it.” Elisa fairly ran at him and the man took a startled step back, his companions trading mildly confused looks. “He’s a nice man, you know, and my parents really wanted me to marry him but I couldn’t go through with it. I hardly know him and they wanted me to marry him. I had to get an hour long talk from my mother about what happens on the wedding night. Do you have any idea how traumatic that is? Of course you don’t but if you’d ever met my mother you’d understand.”

The man held his sword out to keep her at bay as she prattled on. “Look, lady, that’s a very nice story but you do understand what this is, don’t you? This is quite literally highway robbery. I just want those pretty jewels in your hair, not your life story.”

“Wait, you’re bandits. You must know your way around here can you maybe get me to the next town? I can’t go home right now, my parents are going to be so mad at me.”

“Get you to the next town?” The man looked stunned and perhaps a little insulted. “You understand we’re robbing you?”

“Yes yes I get it, scary bandits, thieves in the night. It’s all very impressive. But I’m happy to just give you my crystal hair pins. I’ll even give you this stupid dress, as long as you give me something else to wear, of course. It’s silk, see? The hem is a bit ruined but you could use the rest of it. You can even have this engagement ring, just help me get out of these woods my feet are killing me and I’ve had a very long day.”

The man glanced at his three friends, apparently unsure about what to do. He glanced back at Elisa, who held her breath and stood with her hands clasped in front of her, giving him her best beseeching look. The bandit cursed, then sighed and lowered his sword.

“We may as well take her; she said she’d give us the jewelry.”

One of the other men scowled. “You’re such a soft touch, Felix.”

Felix shrugged. “It seems easier to do it this way. That is very expensive silk. Hey!”

He startled as Elisa practically jumped on him, hugging him so tight she probably bruised his ribs. He pried her off, holding her at arm’s length.

“Oh, thank you thank you thank you-“

“Alright that’ll do.” Felix eyed her warily. Elisa pulled a loose pin out of her messy hair and shoved it at him.

“Please just tell me you have other clothes I can wear,” she said hopefully. “This dress weighs as much as I do and my sister tied it too tight and-“

Felix held up a hand. “Breathe, please. I’ll find you something to wear, just please stop talking so fast. And so much.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry.” Elisa took a step back, biting at her cuticles again. Felix and the other bandits exchanged a look before putting their swords away.

“We get you some better clothes, get you someplace you can settle down, and we get the dress, the pins, and the ring,” he said brusquely. Elisa nodded.

“Deal.”

Sighing, Felix gestured for her to follow him off the path and back the way the bandits had come. “So what’s your name, turtle dove?”

“Elisa.”