Bandit Bride
Five
Elisa surveyed the crowded pub, tapping her finger against the tabletop thoughtfully. Felix watched her with one eyebrow raised.
“Well?” he prompted.
“Give me a minute.” Other than sneaking pastries out of the kitchen before dinner time, Elisa had no experience with stealing from people. She mulled over what Felix had told her about everyone’s trademark method and a thought came to her. Maybe she had no training as a proper thief, but she did have twenty years of training as a proper lady. And she’d had five older sisters to study. High society life hasn’t held much interest for her but she had been good at it and one of the first rules of landing a husband was being charming and knowing how to flirt. Maybe women of her station were more cut out for this sort of work than anyone realized.
Felix watched her as she sat up straighter, feeling a glimmer of nervous excitement. She couldn’t marry a stranger but she was starting to think she could rob one. There were a lot of men in varying stages of drunkenness but she dismissed many of them as suitable targets. Then she noticed a man sitting alone with a couple of empty mugs. His clothes were finer than anyone else’s that she’d seen and she saw him pull out a fancy pocket watch to check the time before gesturing to the barmaid for another drink.
“I’ll be right back.” Elisa took the ribbon out of her hair, letting it fall freely around her shoulders in gentle curls. She tied the ribbon to her wrist, made her eyes as wide and doe-like as she could, and made her way to the man’s table. When she got close enough she pretended to trip and stumbled against his table just as he went to take a drink.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed. The man looked vaguely annoyed until he looked up and saw her smiling sheepishly, then his expression cleared.
“Oh, that’s all right,” he said.
“I spilled your drink all over you, I’m so dreadfully clumsy. And that’s such a fine cloak. I’m worried I’ve ruined it.” She tugged him halfway out of his chair, boldly plucking the handkerchief sticking out of his pocket and dabbing at his ale-stained cloak.
“That’s really not necessary,” he said, though he didn’t make much of an effort to fend her off. “It’s an old cloak anyway.”
“You’ll want to get it cleaned right away or it really will be ruined. I’m really very sorry about this.”
“Are you staying at the inn here?” he asked, not seeming particularly concerned about his clothes.
“Oh, no. I’m just passing through and stopped for something to eat. I’m meeting my uncle.” She smiled up at him and swiped the pocket watch out of his pocket as she did. She handed him back his handkerchief, placing it in his chest pocket.
“Well that’s a shame,” he said.
“I’m sorry again about your drink. I’ll go fetch you another.”
“You don’t need to-“
But she was already backing away, sliding the pocket watch into her sleeve when she turned her back. She slipped into a crowd of boisterous people and scurried back to the table in the shadowy corner. Allen had returned with the drinks and everyone was taking swigs of their ale; except for Jack, who was drinking a giant mug of cider.
“Well? How’d your foray into criminal life go?” Allen snickered. Feeling oddly triumphant, Elisa let the watch drop into her hand and dangle from its chain for a moment before tossing it to Felix, who flicked it open and gave it a once-over.
“Solid gold,” he said. “It’s an Alfred Alizahr design; it’ll fetch a good price.”
“Told you she could do it,” Jack said, looking a bit smug. Allen took the watch from Felix and studied it. ““It’s a good watch,” he conceded, begrudgingly. “How’d you get away with taking it?”
Elisa sat down and shrugged. “I smiled at him a lot.”
Burns seemed to be hiding a laugh behind his mug while everyone turned to look at Felix. Lyle seemed indifferent; Allen looked annoyed but Elisa was beginning to think that was just his default expression. Jack’s face was shining expectantly.
“So she can stay with us, right?” he asked impatiently. “That was the deal.”
“Yeah,” Felix sighed, pocketing the watch she’d stolen. “That was the deal. You can stay with us. For now. But the rules still apply; you do what I say, don’t slow us down-“
“And no hugging,” Elisa volunteered, lips quirking. “I remember.”
For a moment she thought he might actually smile but his expression remained stoic. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but welcome to the crew, turtle dove.”
Elisa sat back with a self-satisfied look on her face and Jack took off eagerly to get her something to drink. She eyed the mug warily.
“It’s not going to bite you,” Lyle remarked.
“No, but my sister Poppy bit me when I spit ale out in her face one time. I said I didn’t want any but she and Maria insisted so I took a drink and it was so awful I couldn’t swallow it so I just spit it out and it got all over everything and Poppy pinched me so I kicked her and then Maria laughed so Poppy pulled her hair and when she tried to kick Poppy she kicked me and somehow in all the fuss Poppy bit my arm. It was a dark day.”
“Well if you’re going to run with the crew, you have to take at least one drink,” Lyle said. Elisa picked up the mug and held her breath as she choked down a mouthful of ale. Whatever look was on her face as she tried to swallow it was apparently amusing enough that even Allen looked slightly less irritated than she’d ever seen him. She made a gagging sound and shuddered as it went down.
“All right, that’s enough,” Felix said as Lyle chuckled and patted her on her back through her cough fit. “Don’t make her drink any more; she’ll be drunk after three sips.”
Elisa made a face at him but she didn’t argue because she didn’t want to drink any more. They all walked to the inn and Jack gave her a chirpy, “good night” before heading into the room he’d be sharing with Felix. Elisa had a room to herself and was anxious to sleep in an actual bed instead of on the hard ground. She glanced over her shoulder at Felix.
“Good night,” she said.
“We’re leaving early so don’t oversleep,” was the reply. Elisa smiled to herself and went into her room. The bed was small but soft and she flopped onto it face-first, asleep in minutes.
“Well?” he prompted.
“Give me a minute.” Other than sneaking pastries out of the kitchen before dinner time, Elisa had no experience with stealing from people. She mulled over what Felix had told her about everyone’s trademark method and a thought came to her. Maybe she had no training as a proper thief, but she did have twenty years of training as a proper lady. And she’d had five older sisters to study. High society life hasn’t held much interest for her but she had been good at it and one of the first rules of landing a husband was being charming and knowing how to flirt. Maybe women of her station were more cut out for this sort of work than anyone realized.
Felix watched her as she sat up straighter, feeling a glimmer of nervous excitement. She couldn’t marry a stranger but she was starting to think she could rob one. There were a lot of men in varying stages of drunkenness but she dismissed many of them as suitable targets. Then she noticed a man sitting alone with a couple of empty mugs. His clothes were finer than anyone else’s that she’d seen and she saw him pull out a fancy pocket watch to check the time before gesturing to the barmaid for another drink.
“I’ll be right back.” Elisa took the ribbon out of her hair, letting it fall freely around her shoulders in gentle curls. She tied the ribbon to her wrist, made her eyes as wide and doe-like as she could, and made her way to the man’s table. When she got close enough she pretended to trip and stumbled against his table just as he went to take a drink.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed. The man looked vaguely annoyed until he looked up and saw her smiling sheepishly, then his expression cleared.
“Oh, that’s all right,” he said.
“I spilled your drink all over you, I’m so dreadfully clumsy. And that’s such a fine cloak. I’m worried I’ve ruined it.” She tugged him halfway out of his chair, boldly plucking the handkerchief sticking out of his pocket and dabbing at his ale-stained cloak.
“That’s really not necessary,” he said, though he didn’t make much of an effort to fend her off. “It’s an old cloak anyway.”
“You’ll want to get it cleaned right away or it really will be ruined. I’m really very sorry about this.”
“Are you staying at the inn here?” he asked, not seeming particularly concerned about his clothes.
“Oh, no. I’m just passing through and stopped for something to eat. I’m meeting my uncle.” She smiled up at him and swiped the pocket watch out of his pocket as she did. She handed him back his handkerchief, placing it in his chest pocket.
“Well that’s a shame,” he said.
“I’m sorry again about your drink. I’ll go fetch you another.”
“You don’t need to-“
But she was already backing away, sliding the pocket watch into her sleeve when she turned her back. She slipped into a crowd of boisterous people and scurried back to the table in the shadowy corner. Allen had returned with the drinks and everyone was taking swigs of their ale; except for Jack, who was drinking a giant mug of cider.
“Well? How’d your foray into criminal life go?” Allen snickered. Feeling oddly triumphant, Elisa let the watch drop into her hand and dangle from its chain for a moment before tossing it to Felix, who flicked it open and gave it a once-over.
“Solid gold,” he said. “It’s an Alfred Alizahr design; it’ll fetch a good price.”
“Told you she could do it,” Jack said, looking a bit smug. Allen took the watch from Felix and studied it. ““It’s a good watch,” he conceded, begrudgingly. “How’d you get away with taking it?”
Elisa sat down and shrugged. “I smiled at him a lot.”
Burns seemed to be hiding a laugh behind his mug while everyone turned to look at Felix. Lyle seemed indifferent; Allen looked annoyed but Elisa was beginning to think that was just his default expression. Jack’s face was shining expectantly.
“So she can stay with us, right?” he asked impatiently. “That was the deal.”
“Yeah,” Felix sighed, pocketing the watch she’d stolen. “That was the deal. You can stay with us. For now. But the rules still apply; you do what I say, don’t slow us down-“
“And no hugging,” Elisa volunteered, lips quirking. “I remember.”
For a moment she thought he might actually smile but his expression remained stoic. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but welcome to the crew, turtle dove.”
Elisa sat back with a self-satisfied look on her face and Jack took off eagerly to get her something to drink. She eyed the mug warily.
“It’s not going to bite you,” Lyle remarked.
“No, but my sister Poppy bit me when I spit ale out in her face one time. I said I didn’t want any but she and Maria insisted so I took a drink and it was so awful I couldn’t swallow it so I just spit it out and it got all over everything and Poppy pinched me so I kicked her and then Maria laughed so Poppy pulled her hair and when she tried to kick Poppy she kicked me and somehow in all the fuss Poppy bit my arm. It was a dark day.”
“Well if you’re going to run with the crew, you have to take at least one drink,” Lyle said. Elisa picked up the mug and held her breath as she choked down a mouthful of ale. Whatever look was on her face as she tried to swallow it was apparently amusing enough that even Allen looked slightly less irritated than she’d ever seen him. She made a gagging sound and shuddered as it went down.
“All right, that’s enough,” Felix said as Lyle chuckled and patted her on her back through her cough fit. “Don’t make her drink any more; she’ll be drunk after three sips.”
Elisa made a face at him but she didn’t argue because she didn’t want to drink any more. They all walked to the inn and Jack gave her a chirpy, “good night” before heading into the room he’d be sharing with Felix. Elisa had a room to herself and was anxious to sleep in an actual bed instead of on the hard ground. She glanced over her shoulder at Felix.
“Good night,” she said.
“We’re leaving early so don’t oversleep,” was the reply. Elisa smiled to herself and went into her room. The bed was small but soft and she flopped onto it face-first, asleep in minutes.