Restless

Haya makes her way through the throng of people crowding near the luggage claim, one hand moving people aside and the other gripping Leo's. She hears the quiet murmurs and sees the dirty looks but she refuses to slow down. Once there, she takes a deep breath, stretching out her arms and legs to prepare herself for lifting. When she finally spots the neon green suitcase, followed by a smaller red one, she bounces on her toes twice and grabs them up, over and off the belt one by one. Too easy, she can't help but feel smug about it.

"Ours" Leo yells from behind her, his hand gripping hers even tighter as he bounces on his toes in excitement. She turns around, crouching next to the little boy and pinches his cheeks.

"My little Leo is too smart for his own good" She pulls his cheeks lightly, earning her a glare from the boy with the red cheeks.

"Ma, I am not little!" He pouts, his large, brown eyes narrow in faux annoyance and arms folded across his chest. "I'm almost five! I'm not a baby anymore"

"Leo, honey. Ma is very sorry for upsetting you but you're still a baby to me. You'll always be my little baby" She reaches out to smooth out his messy curls that are frantically standing up in all directions.

"Maaaa" Leo whines, his lips jutting out even further which only makes Haya laugh more. She feels her heart swell at the sight of a pouting Leo, and she can't help but get teary-eyed at how fast he's growing up. It almost feels like yesterday when he was throwing his food around and bumping into everything. With a quick kiss to his forehead, Haya finally stands up and brushes off the dust from her knees. Pushing the stray curls away from her face, she grabs the luggage in one hand and takes Leo's wrist in the other.

As they make their way outside into the sun, she lets her head fall back, letting the sunlight sink into her skin. She doesn't even have to look at Leo to know that he's doing the same. Sitting in a cramped plane for more than seven hours sure takes a toll on the body, her back was just begging for a soft, nice bed.

When both of them have had their fill, she manages to hail an empty cab. The yellow car parks next to the curb, and a middle-aged man with pale skin, and dark hair walks towards them. He nods, as a form of greeting and starts stowing away their suitcases. Leo tightens his grip and uses her body as a shield to hide from the stranger. She squeezes his hand twice in reassurance and decides to lead them towards the cab. Once seated, with Leo glued to her side, she lets her head fall back in exhaustion. When the driver joins them, she lists off the address for him and closes her eyes.

"So you two from around here?" The driver breaks the silence after some time, his gruff voice startling them both. She feels Leo press closer to her side so she wraps an arm around him, nestling him into her side.

"No"

"So what, you visiting our little town with your brother?" She sees him glance at her in the rearview and Haya tries to keep her face neutral. It's not like it was the first time someone assumed Leo was her brother, she got it almost everywhere they went.

"He's my son." She says as politely as she can, and even gives the man a smile in the mirror.

"Oh" The man says awkwardly, "I just, I didn't mean to assume, you just look too young and you know the boy is fairly old but I didn't mean to offend, Miss" Haya doesn't bother responding, it would probably only embarrass the man further so she just nods her head politely, followed by a wide smile. .

Leo lifts his face to her ears, "I told you I wasn't a baby anymore" he whispers as quietly as he can, and Haya lets out a snort.

"Almost as old as me Bubba, you're almost there" She whispers back, placing a kiss on his nose. Leo scrunches up his nose in response, followed by quiet whispers calling her silly. She closes her eyes once again, resting her head against the window.

Without really realizing, Haya ends up falling asleep and she only wakes when she feels a light push against her shoulder. When she opens her eyes, she gives herself a minute to take in the green, two balcony house, with its purple door and flower beds all wrapped around the entire house. She lets out another deep breath, calming her nerves, and gets out of the cab. She pays the cab driver and thanks him even though he still refuses to look at her face. When the cab driver leaves, Haya takes a minute to get herself under control, chanting every little encouraging thing she can think of.

"You ready to go in?" She eventually walks up to Leo, taking his hand in hers again. As quickly as she can, she rings the door, and as the minutes tick by, she can hear the loud thumping of her heart.

"What if Grandma isn't home?" Leo whispers after a while, leaning closer and closer to her. She's not even sure how to answer, it's not like she had called beforehand to let her mother know she was going to come home after nearly seven years. She had just gone on a whim and decided that whatever happens, happens so here they are.

Before she can even think of a response, however, the door creaks open. Haya's mother steps out, with hair that's now as white as snow, and a stern look on her face. When her mother finally recognizes her, a scowl takes over her face and Haya almost wants to laugh. God, how many times had she witnessed that angry scowl on her face, the furrowed eyebrows, and a tight mouth.

"Yes?" Her mother inquires, and all of Haya's confidence evaporates. She stands there, still as a statue, her tongue feeling too heavy in her mouth and throat too tight. It's only when Leo wraps his little arms around her legs that she snaps back into reality.

"Hi, Mum" She whispers meekly, her eyes taking her in, from the willowy frame to the wrinkled hands, and pale skin.

"What can I do for you?" Haya isn't even sure how to answer that when even she's not sure why she's here. In this town, the place that had suffocated her and made her someone she loathed.

"I, um, oh, Leo has to go to the bathroom" she shouts a little too enthusiastically, and she wants to smack herself for not thinking of a better response. She looks down at Leo, into his confused, little frown and tries to telepathically get him to go along.

"Leo?" Her mother questions, "Haya, tell me this boy isn't who I think he is"

Haya crouches down next to Leo, "how about you go inside, grandma always has cookies in a white container in the kitchen, yeah?" she whispers, and Leo eagerly nods his head, his eyes widening in excitement. Without waiting, Leo dashes inside and Haya watches him until he disappears into the kitchen.

"So what I'm thinking is right? He is..." she trails off, "I just don't know what to do with you sometimes"

Haya steps toward, her own throat feeling tight and stomach twisting. "He's my son. His name is Leo, Leo Davis and he's almost five years old. And I wanted him to be surrounded by love, he deserves to be surrounded by love because just me loving him is probably not enough for him"

Her mother laughs an empty laugh that bounces off the walls and echoes throughout the house. "Love? You don't know a single thing about that or even a mother's love Haya. If you knew, you would've called me, you would've come back home."

"I didn't know how to come back" She whispers truthfully, and she leans her body against the door frame in exhaustion. The memories of her running around, pacing, talking herself out of getting on a plane home, all came rushing forward.

"This was your home. You may have forgotten that but we never did." Her mother hisses, and without another word, she walks away. Haya stands in the door frame, her heart feeling heavy and her throat getting tighter. She forces herself to walk inside, resting her weight against the wall, she walks past the kitchen and into the hall that used to lead up to her room. She stands in front of the red door, and slowly, she reaches out to open in.

She's not even sure why she got her hopes high because once inside, she takes in the bare walls, everything she had ever put up, stripped down. Instead of little reminders of her childhood, she encounters a plain bed, a wooden dresser and a single chair on the side.

"Oh" she hears from behind her, and Haya prepares herself, taking in a deep breath and pasting on a smile, she turns around. She takes in her sister, her pin-straight dark hair, her narrowed, brown eyes, a slim nose, and sharp cheekbones. But what she also notices are the bags under her eyes, the faint spots on her forehead, and the slight trembling of her lips.

"Jana, hi"

"Right, so what everyone was saying, was in fact true. My sister, my baby sister is finally back home" her hollow laugh fills the room, and Haya can't help but flinch in response. Sure, they never got along when they were younger, but she couldn't help but feel guilt gnawing at her.

"Everyone knows?" She whispers, twisting her hands in front of her and wringing them together.

"Like you're surprised. It's what you've always wanted, everything to be about you, well, congratulations"

"You know that's not true."

"Yeah, right. Mum may have forgiven you for what you've done to this family but I'll never forgive you so just, god I don't know, stay out of my way Haya. As far as I'm concerned, I don't have a sister" she says, and Haya feels like someone's just stabbed a thousand knives into her heart. She's not even sure how it all happens, one minute she's perfectly fine, the next she's collapsed on the floor with tears rolling off her cheeks.

"Ma!" She hears Leo's scream somewhere, then she feels two small arms wind around her head and she can't help but let herself sink into his embrace. "Don't make my Ma cry!"

"I'm fine, Leo, really, baby. It's okay, Ma just got sad because she missed her family" she coos, but the lie doesn't even seem believable to her ears. She raises her head to look at Leo, giving him a wide smile but he doesn't return the smile. His hands coming under her eyes to wipe away the tears, but she wraps her hands around his wrists, pressing kisses all over them.

"He's..." she hears Jana whisper, "you've got a son, are you fucking kidding me?"

"That's enough, Jana" Her mother hisses, and she comes to stand in front of Haya. She sees her mother hesitate, her eyes bouncing between Jana to her.

"I'm alright, I just, I think I'm tired. It's just the exhaustion catching up to me, sorry"

"We'll just leave you to it. This room should be big enough for the two of you but let me know if you need anything else." Her mother says formally, and Haya just stares because it feels so odd to have her own mother treat her like a stranger.

Her mother grabs Jana's wrist, and they walk out, closing the door behind them. Haya just sits there, looking at the closed door, her thoughts running a mile a minute.

"Ma, I don't want to live here. They, they make you sad and I don't want you to be sad" he whispers, leaning in so close that he's practically in her lap. Haya pats his head, placing a kiss on top of it.

"You know how sometimes I get mad at you when you do something wrong?" Leo nods his head slowly, "well, I did something bad and they're mad at me. And Ma is just sad because she doesn't want grandma and Aunt Jana to be mad at her"

"Aunt Jana is mean. She yelled at you and, and she says that she's not your sister" he whispers, looking at Haya with wide, innocent eyes.

Haya smiles, "it's okay, my little Leo, when we were little-"

"Little like me?"

"Well, I think we were a bit older. We would always get into fights, and we would always say things we didn't mean. Some things weren't very nice but sisters always forgive each other, she always forgave me. So don't you worry"

"I still hate her, she's mean, even to me and I'm so little"

"Leo..."

"I know, I know. We should never say we hate someone"

"My good boy" she ruffles his hair, "how about, Ma shows you around this town and I'll get you the best ice cream that you'll forget all about your anger" she tickles his tummy, and Leo flips over, streams of giggles echoing across the room.

"Yes! Leo loves ice cream"

"And Ma loves Leo"

"And Leo loves Ma the mostest!" Haya places a kiss across his cheek and gets his clothes out. Once she has Leo's clothes laid out, she grabs a loose, black t-shirt and jeans, and makes her way into the bathroom. She can feel the exhaustion seeping out of her bones, but after what Leo walked in on, she didn't want to let him go to sleep angry and upset.

She quickly changes into the clothes, splashing water over her face and ties her curly, chestnut hair into a bun on top of her head. When that's done, she helps Leo wash up, and helps him with his clothes and tying his laces. Haya extends her hand and Leo takes it in his, and hand in hand, they walk outside.

Haya takes him to an old ice cream shop that sits five minutes away from her old high school. Marble Slab Creamery. She could almost taste the heavenly goodness.

She notices Leo clinging even closer to her, and she looks around the shop. She had forgotten how crowded this place used to get, filled with students, couples on dates, grandparents, parents. She makes her way towards the end of the line, they were probably gonna be here for a while.

"Ma, can you pick me up? Pleaaase?" Leo whispers, his head tilted back to look at her with sad, doe eyes. Without hesitating, Haya bends down and Leo climbs up her back, his hands entwining under her chin.

"Better?"

"I can see everything, Ma. I'm the tallest person here" he giggles, resting his head on top of hers and Haya can't help but smile.

"I wasn't sure whether to believe those rumors but shit, you're really here?" A voice says from behind them, and Haya turns around.

"I'm sorry, I..." Haya looks at her in confusion, trying to put a name to the face but coming up blank.

"It's me, Faye. Not that we blame you, I mean, you've probably had your hands full" she glances up at where Leo is resting his head. "So it's true, you did have a child"

"His name is Leo" she smiles tightly because out of all the people she could've run into, she goes and runs into Faye Richmond. The woman who had always loved telling tales.

"I see" she runs her manicured hand through her hair and the wedding band on her hand glints in the light.

"Oh, you're married?"

Faye's laugh tinkers across the room, "just engaged. You remember Jack, he was on the rugby team?"

"Uh, yeah, sure" she mumbles, even though she has no idea who Jack from the rugby team was.Faye doesn't notice the hesitation, she starts going on and on about how he's a really great chef now, he's got his own house in the city and all the planning she still has to do for the wedding. Haya nods along, and she can feel Leo getting impatient, his hands knocking into her jaw to get her attention.

"So, where's your husband?" She asks abruptly, and Haya starts to cough uncontrollably. She had almost, almost forgotten how nosy the town could get.

"I'm not married"

Faye stares at her a beat too long, her eyes narrowed and mouth pinched. "You're...not? Yet you have a kid?"

"Yeah, it turned out that way."

Faye lets out a deep sigh, "if you're back for Xander, let me just tell you, that's not going to happen" she says sympathetically but Haya takes a deep breath, and rather than losing her head, she smiles.

"No, I didn't come for Xander. It was just time to come home, I guess"

Faye nods her head, her eyes narrowed in suspicion but Haya honestly couldn't care less. She had an eager child on her back and she just came for some ice cream. "Well, I suppose we'll be seeing you around then"

Haya nods, "I suppose. Oh, it's our turn, it was nice seeing you, Faye" she mumbles, moving towards the cash register. She orders two bubblegum flavored ice cream, her mouth practically drooling just thinking about it.

With the ice cream in their hands, Haya hitches Leo higher on her back and makes her way towards the door.

"Ma, Ma, say Aaah" Leo chants from above her, she opens her mouth and Leo attempts to get the ice cream in it. Rather than getting it inside the mouth, however, the ice cream ends up on her cheeks and on her nose. Leo seems to find his art hilarious, she hears him covering up his giggles and she can't help but smile.

"Gah Leo, I'm all sticky now" she tries to keep a serious face but with Leo's giggles she fails, and ends up laughing a little too hard.

From above her she hears Leo shout, "Ma, watch out!" But it's too late, she ends up bumping into someone and her ice cream flops to the ground. Her creamy heaven smeared all across someone's shoes, she wants to laugh at her pathetic luck. Rather than actually sitting there and laughing, Haya looks up ready to apologize because really, she should've been watching where she was going. It's only when she takes in the person standing in front of her, that she forgets all about the ice cream melting on the ground.

"Xander..." She whispers subconsciously, her eyes roaming all over his face. From the large, hazel eyes framed with thick, black lashes, dark brown curls that always fell perfectly, and a full mouth. God, he looked like the Xander she knew growing up, but he also looked so different. He had a faint hint of a beard, he had always been taller but now, now he completely towered over her.

She watches as he lifts his head to look at Leo hanging on to her back, and he glances down at her face. She feels herself going red, she felt sticky from the ice cream, she didn't even bother brushing her hair because she was too exhausted.

"Welcome back." He says gruffly, his voice thick and heavy, and she feels her stomach tighten. She just stares at him in response, waiting for him to say something more but he just nods his head and turns around to go the other way. Haya stares at his back, and she's not even sure why she does it, but she grabs his forearm with her sticky hands. Xander turns around slowly, his eyes slowly moving from her hand to her face, staring at her. Haya quickly removes her hands but she can see the faint stain from her ice cream on the black, button-up.

"Uh, I, that is, it's..." she wracks her brain, trying to come up with something but it seems like crickets have been living there. "How have you been?"

"Good." He responds curtly, and she waits for him to say something, perhaps ask her how she is, who the little boy is, something but he just stares.

"This is the part where you ask how I've been" she laughs awkwardly.

"I can't be bothered. I should get going" He nods his head in goodbye, and walks away from her. This time she doesn't grab his arm, just watches him disappear into the crowd.