Burn Us Down

44: I Know I Knew

Lowering herself down, Olivia laid back on her yoga mat, squeezing her eyes closed as she tried to swallow down the wave of nausea that had rolled over her. She had gotten better at not letting them knock her off of her feet. After a few weeks of suffering from it, she had slowly learnt what made her feel better, and what made her feel worse, but the nausea that morning was being stubborn, something Olivia guessed stemmed from her nervousness about the appointment that she and Gerard had that afternoon. She was excited about it too. The chance to see the twins again was something she had been counting down to since Thea had performed the first scan, but her excitement was tinged with nerves, even if she was sure that there was no reason for them. Until she was staring at the ultrasound screen and hearing the heartbeats, she didn’t know that she would relax.

Pushing a hand back through her hair, Olivia took in a couple of deep breath before she heard Gerard’s laugh, something which caused her to turn her head, glancing up towards where he stood in the doorway, an amused smile on his face. “What?” she huffed.

Gerard shuffled a little further into the room, perching at the foot of the bed a little way from where she laid. “Are you alright?” he asked, trying, and failing, to stop himself from glancing down at her stomach which had been left exposed by the crop top that she wore.

He hadn’t seen it before. Since she had come back from Alicante, Olivia had taken to wearing clothes which were loose on her, trying to hide any sign of a bump until they were ready to share the news with those around them, and Gerard hadn’t had the guts to ask her if he could look, knowing that it was likely to make things slightly uncomfortable between the two of them. He wanted to be involved in her pregnancy. He wanted her to be able to turn to him whenever she needed him, but he still felt awkward about it, even if he was excited. He felt awkward about asking to see her bump or asking if there was any chance he could put his hands on it.

Olivia followed his stare, her cheeks growing a little pink, before she looked back up at his face, offering him a little smile. “I’m OK” she said “I was trying to do some yoga, but the nausea won out in the end. I was seeing if it would pass before I stood up” she added, one of her hands self-consciously smoothing out over her stomach.

Gerard glanced down at her hand before he reluctantly looked away from it, offering her a bashful smile. “You’ve got a bump” he said.

Olivia’s other hand met the first on her stomach, cradling the small bump she carried as she smiled up at him shyly. “Yeah, I do” she mused “You haven’t noticed that before?” she added.

Gerard shook his head, but didn’t say anything, his stare slowly drifting back towards her stomach.

Olivia watched him, marvelling at the gentle smile which brightened his features, before she gently pushed herself to sit up. Swivelling around, she held her hands out towards Gerard, wordlessly asking him for his help back to her feet.

Gerard obliged, tugging her back to her feet, but when he went to let go of her hands, Olivia kept them in her grip, gently guiding them towards her stomach. “Olivia” he breathed softly.

Olivia just flashed him a little smile, tenderly pressing his palms against her skin. It felt awkward. Despite them both being obviously excited about her being pregnant, the little bits of intimacy that it entailed felt a little strange, but she wanted to try and push past it, even if she knew that it wasn’t just going to stop feeling weird. The pregnancy was something for the both of them to share and she wanted to try and ensure that at least that part of their relationship didn’t feel strange.

Gerard hesitated, glancing up at her for confirmation, before he allowed his hands to settle against her skin. Letting out a shaky laugh, he marvelled at the feel of her bump beneath his hands before he looked up, grinning at Olivia briefly before he leant forwards, touching a kiss to her skin.

Olivia let out a soft happy sigh, relishing the light contact, before she guided her fingers back through his hair, holding him to her.

Neither of them spoke for a couple of minutes, basking in the moment, before Gerard looked up, his chin perched against her bump. “We need to go soon” he mused.

Olivia nodded, still gently toying with his hair. “I just need to change” she mused “I’ll meet you downstairs in ten?” she asked.

Gerard pressed another kiss to her stomach before he pulled away, offering her a little nod as he moved away towards the door.

“We should get started”

Gerard, who was sat a small distance away from where Olivia laid on the examination bed, tried and failed to keep the excited smile off of his face as he watched their midwife move to roll up Olivia’s t-shirt. He didn’t want to crowd her. Olivia had never liked hospitals, and after a lot of poking and prodding, he was sure that the last thing she wanted was for him to hover around her, but he couldn’t tamp down his excitement. He knew they were going to see. Two little blobs, with two little heartbeats, but he couldn’t stop himself from practically bouncing in his seat. They were their twins and whilst he knew what he was going to see, he knew that act of seeing it with his own eyes would make the moment one he’d never forget.

Shifting in his seat, he tried to get a better look at the ultrasound screen, something which made Olivia giggle. “Why don’t you just come over here?” she chirped.

“Is that OK?” Gerard asked “I didn’t want to…to crowd you” he added.

Olivia’s teasing smile softened a little before she nodded her head. “Come on” she mused softly.

Gerard almost jumped out of his seat, earning laughs from both Olivia and the midwife, before he reached Olivia’s bedside. Hesitating, he glanced down at her hands which were nervously fiddling with the material of her t-shirt, before he made a move to take a hold of one of them. Olivia stiffened a little, causing Gerard to pull away ever so slightly, but she reacted quickly, gently twining her fingers through his as she offered him a small smile.

The two of them stared at one another, almost oblivious to room around them, but when a gentle thumping noise filled the air, they broke apart. Slowly, they both turned and looked at the screen. Olivia let out a little sniffle, Gerard let out an awed laugh, but they both couldn’t stop smiling, completely taken with the image which filled the screen.

Gerard squeezed Olivia’s hand and Olivia squeezed his back. “I know I knew that there were two of them, but…but wow” he spluttered, another laugh falling out of his mouth.

Olivia pulled his hand to her lips, allowing her to press a gentle kiss to the back of it because she couldn’t quite say anything.

Gerard acknowledged her silence with a boyish smile, but he quickly turned back towards the ultrasound screen, knowing that if he kept looking at her, he’d lean over and try and kiss her and he didn’t know that he could bear to have her pull away from him.
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Thanks to Twisted;;Symphony for the comment :)