Burn Us Down

79: I Don’t Want You To Wake Up And Regret It

“I’ll be out here when you’re done” Olivia mused as she hung her jacket over the back of a chair, her eyes glancing at Gerard who was stood a little away from her, smoothing out the material of the suit that had just been handed to him with a soft smile on his face. Things had started to take shape. In the couple of months that had passed since the invitations to their wedding had gone out, the day’s plans had started fill out, and whilst Olivia had been careful to be restrained, she couldn’t help but get a little swept away by how real things felt that time around. It’d been nothing like their first attempt. Each and every decision that had been made had been a joint endeavour and whilst it’d been a slower process, Olivia had enjoyed it even more. Gerard had been enthusiastic. He’d had opinions that Olivia, the first time around, hadn’t even contemplated that he would have, and she’d loved planning things with him.

Gerard picked his head up, directing his soft smile back towards her. “You know that I could probably have handled this, right?” he chirped “I mean, I know how to wear a suit. You didn’t have to give up your afternoon whilst the twins are with your papa” he added.

“I’d have only spent it napping” Olivia replied with a nonchalant shrug “Besides, I want to make sure that it looks OK” she added.

Gerard’s lips quirked, like he wanted to make a joke, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he let out a soft laugh before he disappeared into the changing room. Olivia watched him away before she slipped her phone out of her pocket, letting out a quiet sigh at the sight of the blank home screen. She knew that she should’ve given up hope. Two months had passed since she and Melissa had fallen out and still there’d been no sign of her sister getting in contact to try and mend things, but still Olivia checked her phone, hopeful that something, anything, would inspire Melissa to reach out.

Shaking her head, she pushed the phone back into her pocket, before the changing room door opened, causing her to glance up, her eyes widening a little as she watched Gerard step out, his hand straightening the tie he wore. Pushing herself up to her feet, she closed the distance between the two of them, her hand gently pushing his aside so that she could fix the slightly askew knot.

“I’ll have someone fix it before I walk up the aisle” Gerard teased softly.

“Don’t” Olivia replied, her eyes flashing up to meet his “I like being the one to fix it” she added.

Gerard kept her close for a few moments, the tips of his fingers resting on her hips, before he took a pace backwards. “Well?” he prodded, gesturing to himself.

Olivia took a moment to look him up and down before she nodded her head, a tender smile blossoming on her features. “You look good” she mused.

“Good enough to be at the end of the aisle?” Gerard prodded “Because there is time to change it. Maybe you’ve changed your mind about the colour of the tie. We can add a waistcoat or a cummerbund. Whatever you want” he added.

Olivia shook her head, still smiling gently. “It’s perfect” she mused, her voice more than a little awed.

Gerard tilted his head. “You seem a little surprised by that” he joked softly “Were you expecting that we’d have to do this more than once?” he added.

“No” Olivia replied “I’m just…I don’t know, a little overwhelmed? You’re actually going to be wearing that suit in a few months when you’re at the end of the aisle and I am walking towards you” she added, a slightly self-conscious laugh bubbling out of her mouth.

Gerard adjusted his tie again, smiling down at his feet. “This would be a good time to tell me if you’re getting cold feet” he quipped “We’d still have time to get our deposits back” he added, his smile faltering at the thought of having to call vendors for a second time entered his head. He’d hated it. The calls to their wedding vendors the first time around had been more than painful, and he dreaded that there was even a chance that he could have to do it for a second time. He didn’t know that he and Olivia had it in them to recover from a second failed wedding attempt.

“It’s not that” Olivia said quickly, earning a soft laugh and a nod from Gerard who was still fiddling with his suit “It’s just…we’ve got a lot more planned than we did before. It doesn’t feel like it did before, either. I don’t know what it is, maybe that we’re actually going through all of this together, but I can actually picture it this time. Not just the details, either. I can picture you at the end of the aisle, trying to keep calm. I can see you fiddling with your tie and me having to move it back because you messed it up. It feels better this time” she explained, wrinkling her nose at how awkwardly she had expressed herself.

It’d been real before. They’d paid deposits, made arrangements with venues and sent out invitations, but she was attempting to convey that that time felt different. To her, it felt more real.

Gerard looked up at her, his blue eyes searching her face, before a crooked smile quirked up the corner of his lips. “I’m glad it does” he replied “I want it to feel right, Livy. It does to me, and I am glad that it does to you too. I don’t want you to wake up one morning and regret this. I don’t want things to work out for us like they did for your sister and Enzo” he added, his smile softening into something more uncertain.

Olivia didn’t hesitate. She gently gripped his tie in her fingers tips before she tugged on it, using it to pull him close so that she could wrap her arms around his neck. Gerard responded by wrapping his arms around her waist, holding in a comfortable silence until Olivia spoke quietly. “I won’t let us end up like that” she said softly “If, god forbid, something should go wrong, I won’t let us make their mistakes. I won’t be like her” she insisted.

Gerard bent his head slightly, kissing the crown of her head gently. “I just want you to be sure” he murmured into her hair “I know I am. I want you to be sure too” he added. He refrained from adding that he’d been the one who’d made the bigger mistakes and that he wanted her to be certain that she’d forgiven him for them.

Olivia pulled back so that she could meet his eyes, a doting smile on her lips. “It’s you” she said “Of course I am sure” she added.

Gerard thought about repeating himself, about pushing her to say a little more, but instead he just offered her a boyish smile. “Then, it looks like you’re going to need to choose yourself a dress someday soon” he mused “You’re getting married in a few months” he added.
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Thanks to Jayme112234 for the comment :)