Feels Like Forever


was this chapter basically an excuse for some smut? yes, yes, it was. am i ashamed? probably not as much as i should be. enjoy~


Emilie watches as Niall unpacks Ryder’s clothes from the suitcase, folding them before carefully placing them into the drawers. Ryder toddles around the room and chatters as he picks up his toys, though he regularly looks over as if to make sure the adults are still in the room. As if he’s afraid of them being gone the next time he looks for them.

She can’t stop thinking about what Paige said before they left early yesterday morning, though Paige certainly meant nothing negative by it. The simple “I really hope you two can be happy again.” Her stepmother’s words repeat on a loop through her mind, and Emilie questions - Why.

Why did Niall tell Paige about the separation? Why would he do something like that, knowing that Paige would rightfully tell Rose and Jackson? Emilie doesn’t even want to know how her father would react if he knew. Rose is easier to predict, but Jackson… He’s a different story.

He has faith in his daughter, that she can protect herself. He’s always told her so, and Emilie has never doubted that he trusts and supports any decision she makes. But she’s concerned that this might be different. That Jackson won’t hesitate to punish Niall for hurting her.

No matter that she caused the issue, too.

“Are you all right, petal?”

Emilie jerks to attention at Niall’s hesitant question, nodding quickly. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just doin’ some thinkin’, ‘s’all.”

“Ooh, your accent is coming out. You must be tired.”

“Shush, mister. But yes, I am tired.”

He stands, crossing the room quickly, and stretches out a hand toward her. She takes it with a smile, follows him across the hall to their bedroom. Emilie can’t deny how wonderful it is to be home again. Even with the empty spaces in the closet, she is home. She drops to sit on the bed and chews on her lower lip as Niall heads to the chest of drawers.

“I think I’m gonna tell Daddy he can stop payin’ on the flat.”

“Why?” he asks quietly, pausing in the middle of pulling out her favourite sleep-shirt.

“I, uh, I don’t think I’ll need it any more, y’know? I mean, we’re back together, we’re back here. So why keep it?”

Niall blows out a breath and comes to sit next to her. “Monica explained it as him wanting us to have a place to stay whenever we go visit.”

“When’d you talk to Monie?”

“How do you think I got to your flat from the airport?” he retorts, and Emilie’s jaw drops.

She hadn’t thought about it, hadn’t tried to figure out how he got halfway across the city. She honestly just assumed he took an Uber or something. Yawning widely, she lets the conversation die out and flops backwards to lie across the mattress. She hadn’t been lying - she is tired, worn out from the drive and having to say goodbye to her friends and Paige again.

Monica and Derek had been thrilled to see her go, but as happy as she is to be home again, the doubts have started creeping in once more. She worries that this is just a bandaid slapped over a wound that won’t ever fully heal. She knows that this is going to take a lot of work, and she can’t help but fear that things will end up reverting to how they were before she left. All she can do is put forth the effort to make sure it doesn’t.

“Get some sleep, love. I’ll get Ryder in bed then join you.”

Emilie groans, covering her face with her hands. “No, I’m tired of sleeping without you.”

“I am pretty amazing to sleep with,” he laughs, brushing a kiss to her forehead. Niall stares down at the bedspread, fidgets slightly. “Would you be against him sleeping in our bed tonight?”

“I thought it was a forgone conclusion, honestly,” she admits on a quiet laugh.

His laughter follows him out of the room, and Emilie busies herself with pulling back the blankets. By the time Niall is back, Ryder in his arms, she has already slid in between the sheets and is scrolling aimlessly through Instagram. She double-taps on the photo Monica posted of her nephews sitting patiently while her sister paints their nails, then sets her phone on its charging stand.

Ryder snuggles into Emilie’s side, smiling brightly up at her. She leans down to kiss his forehead, then he rolls over for attention from Niall. Giggling, she reaches across the toddler to lace her fingers with her boyfriend’s.

“I love the botha ya.”

Niall chuckles, runs a hand over Ryder’s hair. “Ry, do me a favour. Tell Auntie Emilie to go to sleep.”

“Go s’eep, An’ Em,” Ryder parrots dutifully.

All Emilie can do is shake her head at the ridiculous antics of her two loves teaming up against her. She settles further into the mattress and lifts her arm so Ryder can scoot even closer. With Niall still holding her hand and Ryder’s warm breath puffing against her skin, she feels like she can breathe properly. She closes her eyes and falls asleep with every roughened piece instead of her slotting into place.

Morning comes too quickly. One second, she’s dreaming of flying over the world on a glittering unicorn, watching over everyone she loves as they live their lives. The next, she’s waking to someone shifting in the bed next to her. Groaning, Emilie buries her face into her pillow and tugs the blankets over her head. A warm hand brushes against her cheek, and she sighs but doesn’t open her eyes.

“We’ve all day to ourselves.”

“What?” She lifts herself onto one elbow, sleep dissipating from her mind in a instant at Niall’s words. “What do you mean? Where’s Ryder?”

“Took him to Louis’s for the play-date you postponed. He said he’d watch him as long as we need so we can have some time to just... be a couple.”


“We deserve this, don’t we? And wasn’t one of our problems not spending enough time together, just us?”

He isn’t wrong. At all. So she drops back down and scrubs a hand over her face. Niall knows he’s won, that much is clear, and Emilie barely has the willpower to stop him from kissing her. She manages it, though it is with immeasurable strength, and he rolls his eyes but doesn’t stop her from climbing out of bed. Once her teeth are sufficiently scrubbed, she sets her toothbrush into the holder and stares at her reflection in the mirror.

Nothing remains of the haunting darkness, the loneliness that stained her face during the separation. Now, all that is there is the peace that Niall brings to her life. She chews on her lower lip then glances back through the door.

Niall is watching her closely, smiling softly from the bed, and something tightens in her gut. His brows furrow as she reaches for the hem of her shirt, and Emilie tugs the fabric up over her head and lets it fall to the floor. A laugh bubbles up out of her when she sees that Niall’s jaw has dropped, then he’s scrambling off the bed.

Emilie turns the shower on, not bothering to wait for the water to warm before stepping under the spray. Her skin ripples with goosebumps, and she shivers even as she reaches for the shampoo. Niall is close behind; he has stripped with efficiency and crowds her against the wall, leaves a searing kiss to her lips. The bottle falls from her hand as she wraps her arms around his shoulders.

“I’ve missed you,” he murmurs into the kiss, and his hands skim along her side to rest heavily on her hips. “God, I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

Words become scarce, no longer needed as Niall speaks volumes with the way he kisses her. His touch stokes the flames that lick away at her soul. Emilie has anticipated this - the first time being together like this after the separation - since the night he showed up in Austin, but she hadn’t expected it to feel so new.

Heat and desire burn through her, and her fingernails press into his skin as she loses herself in the taste on her tongue. She gasps when his thumb digs almost painfully into her waist, his other hand dragging along her skin between them and a finger slipping into her.

“Ni-Niall, please.” She whimpers as he steps impossibly closer, his body a solid wall of heat along her front; the heel of his palm is firm, shifting just enough, on her clit. “Please…”

“Whatever you want, sweetheart, just tell me, and it’s yours.”

Emilie shoves her hips downward onto his hand, but it isn’t enough. It’ll never be enough. A litany of pleas falls from her lips, a chorus of begging for more. He chuckles darkly and hooks his finger forward. By the time he removes his hand, Emilie is scarcely able to breathe.

Her heart races, blood buzzing in her veins, and she could cry with how empty she feels. She wraps a leg around his waist, mind blanking out at the electric lust rips through her when his cock brushes against her core. His hand curves under her thigh, holds her knee to his ribs, and she cries out as he slides into her.

Home. Security. Love.

Everything she’s ever had with him echoes in her mind as he sets a pace that’s just this side of too rough.

She wants this to last, to relish the sensation of being filled over and over. Even though her back aches from the cold wall behind her, this is nearly perfect. It’s what she has needed. He kisses the tears from her cheeks, mouth painting her flesh with butterfly-soft kisses. His teeth scrape against the column of her throat, and she bursts into fragments of light and want and devotion to this man.

His thrusts slow as her orgasm crashes over her, and she pants heavily and ignores the way her entire body twitches and shudders. Emilie breathes out an order for him not to stop, keep going, please, and Niall nods shakily.

She can feel the way he trembles - from exertion or want, she isn’t sure, but she needs him to be as satisfied as she is. He buries his face into her neck, breaths coming fast and hard, and he shoves himself into her as much as he can. Emilie cards her fingers into his hair, tugging lightly on the strands.

“Come for me, baby,” she whispers before covering his mouth with hers, and that’s all it takes.

He moans as his movements grow unsteady, jerky, then with a grunt, he spills inside of her. He fucks her through the high, each thrust more and more gentle. Emilie’s legs are numb, unstable, when he releases her, and her head spins, the world tilting wildly around her. She pats his chest clumsily and gives him a wobbly smile.

“That’ll do.”

He gapes at her for a split second before laughing in surprise. “You’re so rude.”

“You love me anyway.” She presses a soft kiss to his lips. “And I love you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I came in here to take a shower, and you got in my way of completing that task.”