Like You Did Before

Looking up from the present which sat on the table ahead of her, Matilda quirked a soft smile, watching Iker for a moment as he helped Lola to balance on her feet. They thought that she was getting closer to taking her first steps. With her first birthday approaching, Iker and Matilda had been on the look out for indications that the milestones of her first steps and first words were getting nearer, and it meant that there was rarely a night that passed where Iker found himself making the trip back to his home. He wanted to spend as much time as he could around the little girl in an attempt to make sure that he didn’t miss the moments that they were waiting for. It wasn’t something they’d talked about. Despite the increase of Iker’s belongings in her bedroom, and his presence around the house, neither Iker nor Matilda had broached the idea of him moving in officially, but it felt like it would only be a matter of time before they did. They were the most settled they’d ever been and it seemed like it was the next logical step.

“Your mama is staring again, Lola”

Matilda shook her head, rolling her eyes playfully. “Was not” she quipped.

Iker grinned at her impishly before he turned back to Lola. Offering her an encouraging nod, he gently took her little hands into his and helped her up to her feet, helping her through a couple of wobbly steps.

“She’s getting more sure on her feet” Matilda commented, happy to sit and watch the two of them.

Iker didn’t take his eyes off of Lola as he nodded his head. “She is” he agreed “I think we’ve still got a way to go, though. Every time I even think about pulling my hands away, she looks up at me with those big eyes of hers” he added.

Matilda laughed, turning back to wrapping the gift ahead of her. “She’s got you wrapped around her little finger” she quipped.

“She always has done” Iker replied “She probably always will” he added, kneeling down so that Lola could tumble into his arms.

The little girl giggled happily before she crawled away from him, returning to the toy that Iker had swept her away from when he’d walked into the room. Quirking a gentle smile, Iker sat and watched her for a few moments before he shuffled back towards the couch, resting his back against it. Matilda finished wrapping the present before she set it aside, allowing her to shift closer to him, her fingers gently playing with his hair. “What are you thinking?” she asked softly.

Iker lifted his shoulders in a shrug, a gentle smile on his features. “Not a lot” he replied “I’m just being a little sentimental” he added.

Matilda leant over, kissing the top of his head lightly. “I like it when you’re sentimental” she murmured into his hair, her arm gently wrapping around his shoulders.

Iker let out a slightly sheepish laugh, the skin of his cheeks flushing a light shade of pink. “Her first birthday is a little over a month away” he mused, tilting his head towards Lola “Her first Christmas is a couple of weeks away. She could be walking and talking any day now. I just...I can’t believe how far we’ve come from you standing in front of me, telling me that you were going to have our baby” he added.

It had felt surreal. A few weeks after their breakup, Matilda had been stood in his kitchen, trying to keep herself composed as she had placed a positive pregnancy test in front of him, and Iker could remember how blank his mind had gone once the words had fallen out of her mouth. He remembered the long silence where he and Matilda had just stood and stared at one another. He remembered the way that she had tried, and failed, to hide the pain in her eyes when she did finally meet his. He remembered the way she had almost thrown her arms around him when he’d told her that he intended to be around for her and the baby, only to stop herself, too afraid to push the tentative truce that had formed when she had walked through the door.

Matilda leant her head against his, a soft sigh falling out of her mouth. “Can I be honest with you?” she asked.

Iker squeezed the arm that she had wrapped around him. “Always” he quipped.

“I had to take five tests before I let myself believe it” Matilda revealed “I would have taken more if Art hadn’t stopped me” she added.

“Why?” Iker prodded.

“It was the biggest...surprise of my life” Matilda mused “I mean, not that you could have gotten me pregnant, we both know that there were opportunities for it to happen, but that I actually was. I thought the first one was a false positive, and I kept making the same excuse until Art confronted me with five positive tests and some pretty sound statistics. I just...I was overwhelmed. Thrilled that I was going to have a baby, but also terrified of it. I knew it meant speaking to you, and that overwhelmed me more. It’d only been weeks since I’d walked out of your house, and I didn’t know how you were going to react to me being there, or to the knowledge that I was pregnant. I was so scared that you’d push us away” she added, glancing over at Lola.

Iker squeezed her arm again. “Never crossed my mind” he mumbled.

Matilda placed another kiss on his head. “I know it didn’t” she mumbled “I saw it on your face when I told you” she added.

Iker turned, offering her a tender smile, before he shuffled out of her grasp momentarily. Shuffling across the room, he scooped Lola into his arms before he returned to his previous spot, settling her in his lap. Matilda sat up a little, tugging her phone out of her pocket, before she slipped into the spot beside Iker. Iker caught sight of it, rolling his eyes slightly, before he moved Lola between them, allowing Matilda to snap a picture. “What are you going to do with that?” he prodded.

“Print it” Matilda answered “There aren’t enough pictures of the three of us around here” she added.

Iker nodded his head slowly before he turned back to Lola, distracting himself by talking to her so that he wouldn’t ask Matilda if she was ready for him to move in. It wasn’t the moment, not then, but he knew that it was coming, and he knew that Matilda, who’d spared him a furtive glance up from her phone, knew it was coming too.