Like You Did Before

Letting her head settle against the cool glass, Matilda let out a soft sigh, trying to fight back the nagging headache which had started to build from the moment that Arthur had stopped next to their table. She knew that it was her fault. If she had been more honest with Naomi, if she had explained the situation between her and Arthur better, she knew that her friend wouldn’t have made the decision to invite him to their get-together, but, at the time, she hadn’t been able to face it. She had explained it to Iker, she had explained it to her parents when they had asked why she had wanted them to take Lola for the day, and so when Naomi had called and asked if Matilda knew what was wrong with Arthur, she had left it simply at they’d had a fight. Naomi had tried to prod it, to get more information, but Matilda had been reluctant to go through it again, not wanting to rake up the pain again.

Closing her eyes, she gently rubbed at her temple for a moment before she felt something bump against her elbow. Letting her eyes flutter open, she glanced down at the plastic bottle which bumped against her arm before her eyes trailed up to Naomi’s face.

Naomi smiled sympathetically. “Something for the headache” she mused.

Matilda quirked a small grateful smile before she took the bottle and tablets out of Naomi’s hand. “Thank you” she said gently.

Naomi shrugged, allowing a moment of quiet to pass between them, before she shook her head. “Are you going to tell me what that was all about?” she prodded. She had let it lie for a little while. After they’d left the restaurant, it had been clear that Matilda needed a little time to calm herself down, but Naomi wasn’t prepared to just let it go. It affected her to. If Matilda’s friendship with Arthur was going to be different, Naomi’s was going to be too, and she needed to know what had happened. She didn’t want to change things before she knew if what Iker had said had been true.

“Mimi” Micah warned from the driver’s seat.

“It’s OK, Micah” Matilda said gently “Thanks” she added.

Micah nodded, smiling at her briefly.

“So?” Naomi pressed.

Matilda shifted a little in her seat, adjusting her seatbelt more out of nervousness than discomfort, before she let out a gentle sigh. “Iker was right” she said slowly “The night you all came over for that house-warming party, after you’d all gone, it was just me and Art. He’d been quiet, distant and I thought if I talked to him...” she trailed off.

Naomi nodded her head slowly. “He said the words?” she asked quietly.

Matilda nodded. “He’s said them before” she murmured “Just before Iker and I got back together. He kissed me, told me that he’d had all of these feelings for me for years. He told me the same thing that night. He told me that...that he loved me, and that if I was going to keep him in my life, it had to be at the expense of Iker. He told me that I couldn’t have them both, Mimi” she added, her voice growing heavier as her blue eyes clouded with tears.

Naomi sighed, her fingers gently twining through Matilda’s. She couldn’t pretend to be surprised. Matilda might have been oblivious to Arthur’s feelings for her, but everyone else around them knew. It was obvious. The way that he looked at her spoke volumes, the way he made little excuses to touch her or be closer to her, and the only surprise was that it had taken him so long to admit it to Matilda.

Matilda glanced down at their hands, smiling sadly at the brief silence which passed over them. “You knew, didn’t you?” she asked.

Naomi nodded without hesitation. “Everyone knew” she replied “He’s one of my best friends, one of Mia’s too, but he’s never been the same with us as he is with you. I don’t know how you didn’t know” she added.

“He was just Art” Matilda replied with a shrug, wiping at her eyes “He’s always been the same with me” she added.

Naomi squeezed her hand again, allowing a moment of quiet to pass between them, before she shook her head. “I need to tell you something” she mused.

“What?” Matilda prodded.

Naomi took in a breath before she released it slowly. “Marcos broke up with you because of Art” she said carefully.

He hadn’t been directly responsible. Arthur hadn’t said or done anything to Marcos directly that would have influenced his decision to break up with Matilda, but it was common knowledge that one of the key reasons for the breakup had been the way Arthur was with her. He was too attentive, too involved for a ‘friend’, and after a couple of years of putting up with it, Marcos had given in. He couldn’t allow himself to envisage a future with Matilda that didn’t include Arthur always being involved.

Matilda’s head shook instantly. “Marcos broke up with me because I wanted to start thinking about our future” she replied “He said that he didn’t want to get married when we were still so young. You know that” she added.

Naomi shook her head, squeezing Matilda’s hand comfortingly. “He’s always around, Mattie” she said softly “He’s in love with you, and he’s always around. Marcos hated it, Simon too, and you know how wary Iker was of him. They all saw the same thing, Mattie, and I think he was right when he said that there’s only room for one of them in your life. I know it seems drastic, but honey, you can’t keep leading him on. I know you’re not doing it deliberately, you’re not trying to hurt him, but you are” she added.

Matilda sniffed. “I adore him” she whispered.

Naomi smoothed Matilda’s hair back off of her face, tucking it behind her ear. “I know” she whispered “But I also know it’s not the way he wants you too. You love Iker like that” she added.

“Iker was right” Matilda whispered “All the times we fought over Art, he was right. How was I so oblivious?” she added.

“You didn’t want to see it” Naomi replied “You didn’t want to confront something that could have hurt you, but it’s in the open now, Mattie, and you need to do something about it. If you keep trying to force a friendship with Arthur, then you’re going to hurt him, and you’re going to hurt Iker, and you’re going to hurt yourself. I know it’s hard, but you can’t have it all. You need to figure out which one means more and you need to do it soon” she added.

Matilda stared out of the window, watching as Micah slowed outside of her house, before she nodded her head. “I know I do” she whispered.

Naomi squeezed her hand again, something which made Matilda smile sadly. “Call me if you need me” she mused.

Matilda nodded. “Will do” she replied “Thank you, Mimi. You too, Micah” she added.

Micah offered her a playful salute, succeeding in making her smile.

Tugging her hand out of Naomi’s, she climbed out of the car and progressed up to the front door, sighing before she wandered inside, already dreading having to explain why she had been crying to her mother.