Like You Did Before

Staring at the phone in his hand, Iker quirked a bitter smile, more than annoyed by his inability to compose a message to send to Matilda. He had left it a couple of days. A text from Micah had let him know that Matilda and Arthur had talked, and that she had let the other man know that whatever friendship they had was done with, but he hadn’t wanted to say anything right away, not wanting to appear insensitive. He didn’t like Arthur. It had never been a secret how he’d felt about the other man, but Matilda had adored him, and whilst that was the reason things were complicated, he knew that cutting Arthur out of her life was something that was going to take its toll on her and he didn’t want to appear dismissive of it. Whilst he wouldn’t miss Arthur hanging over their relationship, Matilda would miss her friend and he wanted her to know that he understood that.

Letting out a frustrated huff, he moved to stuff the phone into his pocket before he shuffled up to his feet. Wandering out of the living room, he made his way towards the stairs, only to stop himself when he heard the sound of a key in the front door’s lock. Holding himself in place, he heard the door creak open and fall closed again before he turned around slowly. His eyes settled on Lola first. When she saw him, her entire face lit up and she started to wiggle in the arms that held her, trying to get to him. Iker smiled at the sight before he let his stare travel upwards, his expression softening as his eyes met Matilda’s.

Matilda gently adjusted Lola on her hip as she looked away.

Iker kept his stare on her, just watching and waiting.

“I...I spoke to Art” Matilda’s voice was quiet.

“I know” Iker said.

“Mimi?” Matilda asked.

“Micah” Iker replied.

Matilda nodded her head slowly, something Iker took as an invitation to step towards her. Reaching towards her, he carefully lifted Lola up into his arms before he placed a hand on Matilda’s back, wordlessly guiding her towards the living room. Matilda followed the request, padding into the room before she settled on the couch, watching as Iker lowered Lola into her playpen. Leaning over the side of it, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and murmured to her warmly before he stood up, his stare focussing once more on Matilda.

Matilda shifted a little in her seat before she let out a sigh, pushing a hand back through her hair. “I almost called you a few days ago” she said quietly.

“Why didn’t you?” Iker asked.

Matilda smiled sadly, shrugging her shoulders. “I didn’t think you’d want to talk about Arthur any more” she replied “I mean, we spent two years talking about him first time around, and the conversation has come up more and more recently, I thought you’d be tired of it” she added.

“Micah told me what happened” Iker mused “Mattie, I am...”

“I am sorry” Matilda interrupted softly “I have been naive and I have almost let that naivety ruin this more times than I can count. You saw it. The first time you met him, you saw something I hadn’t seen in all the years that I’d known him, but it was something that Marcos and Simon both saw too and I just...I ignored it. I don’t think I wanted to see it. I don’t think I wanted to acknowledge it because I knew if I did, I’d have to let him go, and I am selfish. I didn’t want to lose him” she added.

Iker, who’d taken a seat beside her, nodded. “I understand that” he mused.

Matilda shook her head, her blue eyes meeting his. “I almost lost you because I was too stubborn to admit that you were right about him” she protested.

“You didn’t lose me, though” Iker countered “I mean, I’m here, aren’t I?” he prodded.

Matilda breathed out a shaky laugh. “You almost weren’t” she replied.

“But I am” Iker quipped, gripping her hand which fiddled aimlessly in her lap.

“I am still sorry” Matilda murmured “I’m sorry for a lot of things. I’m sorry for yelling at you the other night. Since Art told me about his feelings...this must have been hard for you, too” she added.

Iker wanted to play it off with a smile and a shrug, but instead, he let out a soft sigh, his eyes watching their hands. “You two have a lot of history” he said carefully “He’s probably forgotten more about you than I’ve ever known. Your parents adore him, your papa told me that they hoped you’d end up with him. I think a part of me worried that the more he talked about...about loving you, and the more people got behind him, the more likely you’d be to believe that he was the right fit, not me. Knowing that you’d kissed, that he’d finally told you what I’d always suspected...it’s been hard to envisage why you wouldn’t want him” he explained.

He knew that she didn’t. They had had the conversation numerous times and Matilda had never been ambiguous in her feelings towards him or Arthur, but it still nagged at him. It wasn’t a hypothetical situation any more. They weren’t guessing at Arthur’s feelings, he had admitted them, and Iker worried that, faced with something more concrete, Matilda would be tempted to give up on them in favour of a relationship with the man who’d always been there.

Matilda nodded her head slowly. “I’m sorry I haven’t been more attentive to that” she said “But I am not going to make that same mistake again. I know I’ve said that before, and I have repeated my errors, but it’s for real this time. Arthur’s not going to be an issue any more” she insisted, trying, and failing, to keep the tell tale wobble out of her voice at the thought of losing Arthur.

“I never wanted to make you choose” Iker noted, squeezing her hand gently.

“I had to” Matilda replied without hesitation “I wasn’t doing any of us any good. You were always worried about him, he was never going to like anyone I chose, and I was going crazy stuck in the middle of you two. It wasn’t fair to any of us” she added, turning her head so that she could try and hide when she lifted her spare hand to wipe at her eyes.

Iker watched her, his stomach clenching at the sound of her sniffles, before he tugged on the hand he held, turning her into his embrace. Matilda tried to push out of it. She didn’t want him to sit and watch her cry over Arthur, but instead of letting her back out, Iker simply held her closer, pressing a tender kiss to the crown of her head. “I’ve got you” he whispered into her hair.

Matilda relented, melting into his embrace. “I love you” she whispered “More than anything” she added.

Iker kissed her head again, content to be the one who had his arms wrapped around her.