Like You Did Before

“You’re going to be late”

Matilda’s lips quirked upwards slightly, but she didn’t look up, her stare locked on the briefcase which leant against the bedroom wall, partially hidden behind the pair of shoes she had laid out in front of it. She had had it planned out for a while. Lola’s first birthday had been and gone, and it had always been the plan for her to return to work a few weeks later, but now the first morning had arrived, she couldn’t get rid of the lump that had grown in her throat. She knew that Lola was going to be in good hands. With her and Iker still looking for the perfect nanny, they’d convinced Adrienne to take her for the few hours that both she and Iker would be away, but still Matilda was hesitant to leave. She had spent a year with Lola, going through their daily routine, and she knew that she’d miss it when she was sat at her office desk.

“I’ve still got some time” Matilda mused “Is my mother already here?” she asked, noticing that Iker wasn’t holding Lola.

“She just got here” Iker confirmed “She tripped over a box on her way in. I don’t think it helped improve her opinion of me” he added, flashing her an impish grin.

Matilda shook her head, her hand nervously smoothing out the material of the skirt she wore.

Iker watched her for a few moments before he sat down next to her, his hand catching hers to stop it from fiddling in her lap. Letting out a soft sigh, he gently twined their fingers together before he looked up at her, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “She’s going to be absolutely fine” he said.

Matilda fiddled with his fingers. “I know she is” she said “It’s only going to be for a few hours, and it’s not like my mother is a novice, but...but maybe we should wait a little longer. Maybe until we’ve at least found a nanny” she added.

“Mattie” Iker mumbled, his thumb gently brushing over the back of her hand.

Matilda let out a sigh, her eyes closing. “I know” she mumbled.

It wasn’t the first time they’d talked about it. For a while, the two of them had been trying to figure out what would happen when Matilda returned to work, and whilst she was always adamant that it was something that she wanted to do, she also had a tendency to try and push the date back, something Iker had had to talk her out of more than once. It didn’t matter to him. Whether Matilda went back to work, or if she stayed at home with Lola, he didn’t mind, but he knew how much Matilda’s job meant to her, and he knew that no amount of procrastination was going to make leaving Lola with either her mother or a nanny any easier.

“It doesn’t have to be today” Iker said softly “I’m not going to push you out of the door, but if you want to do this, another day, week or month isn’t going to make it easier” he added.

Matilda was quiet for a beat before she gently untangled her hand from his. Moving across the room, she slipped her feet into her shoes before she lifted the briefcase off of the floor.

Iker followed after her, gently wrapping his arms around her waist before he lowered his head, pressing a gentle kiss against the top of her shoulder. “Are you sure?” he murmured.

“Yeah” Matilda’s voice was slightly shaky despite her best efforts to keep it even.

Iker kissed her shoulder again before he slipped away from her, retrieving his bag before he offered a hand out towards her. “Let’s go and say goodbye, then” he mused.

Matilda hesitated for a split second before she slowly lowered her hand into his, allowing Iker to squeeze it gently before he pulled it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against it.

~#~
Hearing the clatter of her glasses landing on her desk, Matilda jumped, pulling her attention away from the staring contest that she was having with her phone. She had let her attention lapse on more than one occasion. Since she had sat down behind her familiar desk, the urge to pick up her mobile phone and call her mother to check in on Lola had been overwhelming, but she had resisted it, even if it hadn’t been easy. She worried that if she allowed herself to make one call, it would quickly snowball into many.

Folding her glasses up, she placed them down beside the keyboard of her computer before she heard a knock at her closed office door, something which caused her to let out a muted groan. “Come in” she called reluctantly.

The door swung open, allowing Iker to poke his head around it.

Matilda’s forehead creased. “Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere else?” she prodded.

Iker just offered her a boyish grin before he stepped through the door fully, his hands gently holding Lola’s as he guided her to walk in ahead of him. She was still unsteady on her feet, but as long as Iker was holding her hands, she could toddle a few steps.

Matilda bit down on her lip to stop the wide smile from stretching across her features. “She is definitely supposed to be somewhere else” she quipped.

“Your mother didn’t mind being let off early” Iker replied “And, before you worry, I cleared it with your boss. As long as it is an occasional occurrence, and it happens during your lunch break, he’s fine with her being here. I just thought we’d come and see how you were doing” he added as he bent down, lifting Lola up.

“You didn’t have to do this” Matilda said, shaking her head softly in awe. She didn’t quite have the words to express how happy she was to see the two of them, but she hoped that her expression showed it.

Iker’s smile softened a little at the tone of Matilda’s voice before he shrugged, gently settling Lola in her mother’s lap. “I thought it would help” he mused “You were pretty upset this morning, and I just...I don’t know. I thought I was doing the right thing” he added.

Matilda gently brushed her fingers through Lola’s hair, pressing a light kiss to the top of the little girl’s head, before she gently wrapped her hand around Iker’s, stopping him from moving back too far. Tilting her head back, she offered him a tender smile, something Iker mirrored before he leant down, kissing her softly. “I didn’t actually bring lunch” he mumbled as he pulled away.

“I’ll forgive you” Matilda mused “This time, at least. Next time...” she trailed off with a playful shrug.

Iker laughed, but his expression softened. “I won’t make the same mistake twice” he said.

Matilda frowned slightly, noticing that his tone had shifted, but before she could comment on it, Lola stole her attention.

Iker was content to watch the two of them, aware that Matilda hadn’t missed the subtext in his words. He had made mistakes with them before. He had jumped ahead too quickly, been too hesitant at times, too, and he wasn’t prepared to make the same mistakes again. Matilda had been right. In the aftermath of what had happened between her and Arthur, their relationship felt as though it was more serious, that there was more riding on it, and whilst part of him itched to get carried away, he knew better. They had forced things before, they’d also let them slip, and he wanted to make sure that they kept the balance. He wanted to ensure that they were for keeps.