Like You Did Before

Tracing the curve of Matilda’s shoulder with the tips of his fingers, Iker quirked a sleepy smile, relishing the quiet calmness which filled the room around them. It had become a rare occurrence. Since Matilda had returned to work, she had fallen into a routine of early mornings and late evenings, but when they did have the chance to lay in together, Iker ensured that they took it, desperate to ensure that all the progress that they had made in their relationship since Lola had been born didn’t slip away. They didn’t see each other as much as they used to. Their schedules meant that they missed each other more than they would have liked, and whilst things between them still felt good, Iker wanted to remain vigilant. They were happy, settled, and he wanted to keep it that way.

Shuffling across his pillow slightly, he pressed a soft kiss against Matilda’s shoulder before he rolled onto his back, his sleepy smile widening a few moments later when Matilda turned over and draped her arm over his stomach, cuddling happily into his side. “You’re awake early” she mumbled, her voice heavy with sleep.

“Sometimes, I am awake before you” Iker quipped “I know that’s hard to believe” he added, turning his head slightly to offer her a crooked smile.

Matilda just blinked up at him sleepily.

Iker reached his hand out, gently moving her messy hair out of her eyes before he watched her expression cloud over, something which caused him to frown. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

For a moment, Matilda didn’t answer. She squeezed her eyes closed, and took in a few deep breaths before she allowed her eyes to flutter open again, gazing at the worried expression on Iker’s face. Quirking a soft smile, she gently drew her fingertip along the line of his jaw before she sat up, sneaking a couple of quick kisses. “I’m alright” she said softly “I just felt a little odd for a second, but it’s gone now. You don’t need to look so worried” she added.

Iker’s eyes searched her face, looking for any hint that she didn’t mean what she said, before he nodded his head. “As long as you’re sure that you’re OK” he mused.

“I’m sure” Matilda replied, snuggling back into his side.

Iker wrapped his arms around her, enjoying a few longs moments of quiet before the sound of a phone buzzing filled the air, causing the two of them to sigh before Matilda rolled away, collecting her phone from its spot on the end table. Iker followed her movements, his lips lightly brushing against her neck before he heard her let out a heavy sigh. Frowning slightly, he offered his hand out towards her, wordlessly asking if it was alright for him to see the message.

Matilda hesitated for a split second before she lowered the phone into his grasp. “It’s from Mimi” she said softly.

Iker studied the screen for a few moments before he looked up at her, his expression soft.

It’d been an inevitability. Whilst Matilda had cut ties with Arthur, the group of friends the two of them shared hadn’t, and Iker had known that, eventually, someone they both knew would invite them both to an event, something he knew that Matilda was dreading. She hadn’t seen him. After she had told him that she didn’t share his romantic feelings, she hadn’t had so much as a text from him, and whilst she tried to hide it from Iker, knowing how uncomfortable he had been with her friendship with Arthur, he knew that it hurt her. Arthur had been her best friend and losing him was bound to have hurt her more than she wanted Iker to see.

“I forgot that Micah’s birthday was coming up so soon” Matilda said, shaking her head gently.

“Mattie...”

“It’s OK” Matilda interrupted, a rueful smile pulling up the corner of her mouth “I mean, I am sure that Mimi and Micah will get it” she added.

“You’re not going to go?” Iker asked.

Matilda didn’t hesitate to shake her head. “I...I can’t go” she stumbled out.

“Why?” Iker prodded “Because of Art?” he asked.

Matilda’s expression flinched at the mention of Arthur’s name before she slowly nodded her head, her fingers fiddling with the duvet in her lap. “We’d be too awkward” she said “And if we are awkward, then everyone around us will be awkward too and that will spoil whatever Mimi’s got planned for Micah. I don’t want to be responsible for that” she added.

Iker watched her fingers for a few moments, thinking over what she had said, before he gently covered her hands with his, stilling her movements. “I think you should go” he said gently.

Matilda shook her head. “Iker...”

“You can’t just avoid him forever, Mattie” Iker interrupted softly.

“What am I supposed to do instead?” Matilda countered, her voice slightly sharper than she would have liked it to be “I broke his heart, Iker. I didn’t mean to, and I hate that I did, but I did that, and now I don’t know how to be around him. How am I supposed to pretend that nothing happened between us? How am I supposed to look at him and not see the way he looked at me the last time he left my house? I don’t want to spend the rest of my life avoiding him, but I don’t know that I can face him either. It’s easier to make my excuses to Naomi and Micah than to make that decision” she explained, her voice resigned.

Iker blinked a couple of times, caught off guard by the sharpness in her voice, before he shook his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong” he said.

Matilda scoffed bitterly. “Sometimes, it feels like I did” she muttered.

Iker’s lips quirked up into a bitter smile, something which caused Matilda’s eyes to widen, realising what she had said. “Iker” she squeaked “I...I didn’t...I didn’t mean for it to sound like...”

“Like you made a mistake” Iker finished for her.

“That isn’t what I meant” Matilda countered.

Iker shook his head, climbing out of bed.

“Iker” Matilda protested, grabbing his hand in an attempt to stop him from moving any further away.

Iker slipped his hand away, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t trust himself to say anything, worried that what he said would be something that he wouldn’t be able to take back. Moving away from her, he got himself dressed before he moved to walk out of the door, something Matilda didn’t try to stop. Listening to the sound of his footsteps moving down the stairs, she felt her eyes start to burn, but still she didn’t try to follow. They had had enough fights in the past for her to know that, if she followed after him, then she’d only make things worse.