Like You Did Before

06: If You Think It’s That Simple, You’re Wrong

Allowing the car door to close behind her with a soft thump, Matilda hesitated, trying to compose herself before she wandered up Iker’s front path and knocked on the door. He knew that she was on her way. She’d texted him before she had climbed into her car to let him know that she was on her way to pick Lola up, but still she needed a moment. They had a way of letting things get away from the two of them. Their conversations always started off well enough, but they had the potential to turn quickly, and Matilda needed a moment to prepare herself. She knew that she was more sensitive. She’d been the one to jump down Iker’s throat when he’d asked to be informed if she started dating again, and she knew that that had been out of line, but she hadn’t quite known how to react to the question. In the time that she and Iker had been apart, she’d not been quite sure of anything when it came to him.

Smoothing out her coat, she took in a deep breath before she made her way up the path, her hand gently tapping against the door. Taking half a step back, she shifted she her feet as she waited until the door swung open, a sound which caused her to look up, a smile pushed onto her features. “Hi” she greeted.

“Hi” Iker replied before he shuffled out of the doorway “Head through towards the kitchen. Lola’s still asleep” he added.

Matilda hesitated, but eventually shuffled past him. Pulling her coat off, she hung it up before she wandered towards the kitchen.

Iker hung back a second, sighing a little at the sight of her coat hung up on the hook she’d always used when she’d spent the night, before he trailed after her. “I don’t want to wake her” he announced as he rounded the kitchen counter “She was up a few times in the night, and it took me a long time to settle her back down each time. I know it’s a little deviation from her normal routine, but I figured another ten minutes or so couldn’t hurt” he added.

Matilda nodded, allowing a moment of quiet to draw out between them, before Iker let out a quiet sigh. “We need to talk, Mattie” he said softly “About more than Lola. You know that, don’t you?” he prodded.

Matilda kept her stare on the counter, but she did nod. “I know” she confirmed “I just…I don’t know what I can add to what we said all those months ago. We were supposed to have a clean break. It ended and that should have been that, but now Lola is here, and I am thrilled that she is, of course I am, but…but now there’s all this baggage and distance between us and I don’t know how to deal with that” she admitted.

Iker wanted to lean across the counter and gather her hands in his, but he stopped himself, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “We need to figure out how to deal with it, Mattie” he murmured “For Lola, but for us too. We’re going to be in each other’s lives for a long time to come, and I don’t want to spend all of that time walking on eggshells. We broke up, but we can coexist, can’t we?” he asked.

“Honestly?” Matilda asked “I don’t know” she added.


“You broke my heart” Matilda interrupted him quietly “Two years we were together. I spent two years telling you that I loved you, that you were all I needed and wanted, and still, every time we got into a fight, you threw the same thing out at me. I know that I ran to Art too easily, and I get that you never really liked him being around, but you never trusted me, not properly, and when we fought, you’d just use him as a reason. I never did anything to make you think you couldn’t trust me. I was only interested in you, but that never seemed to matter. So it is hard for me. Because I loved you, and I don’t know that that just went away and I don’t know that I can be at ease around you like nothing’s happened between us” she explained.

She had wanted space. When things had fallen apart, she had wanted to put as much distance as she could between her and Iker, but her pregnancy had quickly made itself apparent and put them back together again, something that she had found a little stifling. She’d wanted him to be there for everything to do with the pregnancy. Every scan, every little milestone, she’d wanted him to share in, but it’d been bittersweet. The pregnancy had been a wonderful experience, and they both adored Lola, but it’d been tinged with sadness. They’d ended their relationship, and seeing the person that she’d loved, and knowing that things between them weren’t the same had hurt her. It still did.

Iker didn’t say anything for a long time, long enough that Matilda regretted saying anything. He stood and looked at her, his hand rubbing at his jaw thoughtfully, before he shook his head. “You think that you’re the only one hurting, Mattie?” he asked quietly.

“I didn’t’…”

“I wanted to marry you” Iker cut her off “And you told me that that wasn’t something you wanted. Do you know what that is like? Knowing that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, only to have them turn around and say that they don’t feel the same?” he pressed.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to marry you” Matilda retorted “I said that I wanted to wait” she added.

“Why?” Iker pressed.

“Because I was scared!” Matilda’s voice was louder than she would have liked “Because we kept having the same fight and I was scared, Iker” she repeated quietly.

Iker blinked.

The silence stretched between them, lingering until the baby monitor which sat on the counter between them burst into life, allowing Lola’s cries to fill the air. They both jumped, but Matilda was quicker to reach the door way. When she did, she hesitated for a beat before she glanced over her shoulder, looking at Iker sadly. “You’re right” she mused “We do need to figure this out, for her, for us, but if you think it’s going to be as simple as standing here, clearing the air, and then moving on, you’re naïve. There are too many feelings for it to be so straightforward, Iker, and pushing at it…I worry that that will just make things worse” she added before she stepped out of the room.

Iker listened to her footsteps as they trailed up the stairs before he slumped forwards onto the counter, a groan of frustration falling out of his mouth. He didn’t know what it was that they were supposed to do next, but he knew that they had to do something sooner rather than later.
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Thanks to Jayme112234 for the comment :)