Like You Did Before

“Where’d you go?”

Iker, who’d moved to sit down on the sofa, looked up at the sound of Matilda’s voice, his forehead slightly creased in confusion. They had both been waiting. Since the door had closed behind Naomi and Lola a couple of minutes earlier, both Matilda and Iker had been waiting for the other to say something, but what Matilda had said wasn’t what Iker had been expecting, something which had knocked him slightly off balance. It shouldn’t have done. Whenever they’d fought in the past, the conversation that they had afterwards often started with Matilda trying to make small talk in an attempt to avoid talking about the real issue, but it had surprised him. He had thought that they were past the part of their relationship where Matilda felt as though she couldn’t just talk to him.

Matilda, who stood a little away from him, saw the expression on his face before she shook her head, uncomfortably fiddling with the bottom of her shirt. “Sorry” she murmured “You know how awful I am at this. I just...I wanted to say something, and it was the first thing that popped into my head” she added.

“I didn’t go anywhere particular” Iker said after another long moment of quiet “It was pretty early when I left, and I think my wallet is possibly still on the bedside table upstairs” he added, his lips ticking upwards ever so slightly.

Matilda smiled a little too, but it faded quickly as the silence settled around the two of them once more. Closing her eyes, she let it linger for a few long moments before she shook her head, her staring lifting to meet Iker’s. “Iker” she murmured “What I said, I...I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I know how it sounded, but it isn’t what I meant” she insisted.

Iker searched her eyes before, slowly, he nodded his head. “I know” he murmured.

“You do?” Matilda squeaked.

Iker nodded, itching his jaw gently. “I put words into your mouth” he said “You said that sometimes you felt as though you did something wrong, and I just...I leapt straight to the conclusion that you meant by choosing me over Arthur” he added.

“That wasn’t what I was trying to say” Matilda insisted.

“I know” Iker said reassuringly.

“I hate that Art had to get hurt” Matilda said “I hate that my being happy came at the cost of him being hurt. I hate that it took me so long to see something that was so obvious to everyone else, because if I had seen it sooner, I could have let him down gently years ago. I keep thinking about all the things I could have done better, to ease the blow, and I think I made mistakes in relation to him, but I don’t think choosing you is one of them. As Mimi was happy to remind me earlier, you make me happy” she added, a small, bashful smile brightening her features.

Iker’s lips quirked slightly too before he ducked his head, shaking it slightly. “I...I don’t know that I can keep having this fight for the rest of my life” he breathed out, his eyes drifting back up towards hers.

For a couple of moments, Matilda just stared at him with wide eyes before she tilted her head, a small crease between her eyebrows. “The...the rest of your life?” she asked quietly.

She knew that it wasn’t the point. Iker was trying to highlight the fact that, even though Arthur was no longer a part of her life, they kept circling back to the same insecurities and the same fight, but her attention had been caught by the end of the sentence. She knew that they were serious, but still the thought that Iker had envisaged spending the rest of his life with her had caught her off guard.

Iker blinked a couple of times before he ducked his head, smiling shyly as he cheeks flushed a soft shade of pink. “Does that surprise you?” he asked.

Matilda opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before she shook her head. “I...I was surprised to hear you say it out loud” she stumbled out “I mean, I kind of thought that we were in this for the long haul, but I don’t think...I didn’t think that you’d thought that far ahead” she added.

Iker rubbed his jaw sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders slightly. “I am not planning on going anywhere” he said “I like...no, I love being here. I love sharing a home with you, and with our baby girl. I love what we have, Mattie, but I can’t keep having this same fight. I don’t like it, but I am defensive about what happened with Arthur. I worry more than I should that you’re going to change your mind about him, and now I worry that you’re going to pull yourself away from people you’ve had in your life for years because things between you and Arthur ended. I hate that that’s how you feel” he explained.

Matilda, who’d kept a distance away from him, chose that moment to step across the room. Sitting down on the coffee table in front of him, she grabbed his hands in hers, squeezing them gently. “You don’t need to be worried about that” she insisted “That’s my problem to solve. It’s going to be weird, and I am probably going to miss out on a few things, but I will figure it out eventually. You don’t need to be worried about that” she added.

Iker looked up at her, his eyes soft. “I want you to be happy” he said.

Matilda lifted a hand, gently guiding her fingers back through his hair. “I am happy” she whispered “The thing with Art, it’s hard, and it’s probably going to feel like that for a while, but it doesn’t detract from the fact that you...you make me happy. I love you, Iker” she added, a slight grin tugging up one corner of her mouth.

Iker’s eyes searched her face again before he turned his head slightly, kissing her palm tenderly. “I love you, too” he muttered.

Matilda’s entire body relaxed, making it easy for Iker to pull her into him, wrapping her in a tight hug that she was more than happy to return, her face buried in the side of his neck. “This wasn’t a proposal, was it?” she muttered against his skin, smiling when she felt the vibration of his answering laugh.

“No” Iker replied “But, maybe there’ll be one in the future” he added, leaning back to study her face for her reaction.

Matilda ran her fingers through his hair again. “Maybe I’d like that” she said quietly.