Like You Did Before

“Do you need to get home soon?”

Matilda, who was stirring milk into the mug in front of her, glanced up at the sound of Arthur’s voice, watching as he sunk into the chair opposite her, his own drink in hand. They hadn’t gone far. The cafe that they had found was barely five minutes away from Naomi and Micah’s home, but Matilda hadn’t wanted to go further. She knew that there was a strong chance that things could go wrong quickly, and she wanted to be somewhere she recognised, just in case. She knew that she had given in too easily. All it had taken to destroy her resolve had been a couple of sad smiles and Arthur to say that he missed her, but she hadn’t been able to pull away, even if she knew that she should. She missed him and, in the moment, it had gotten the better of her.

Gently tapping her spoon on the side of her cup, she shook her head. “I didn’t tell Iker when to expect me home” she said “I mean, if anything, he’s probably at home, waiting to tell me that he was right” she added, her lips quirking upwards slightly.

Arthur swallowed a sip of his drink. “What was he right about?” he asked.

Matilda’s smile slipped from her face as she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter” she murmured.

Arthur opened his mouth to press, but caught himself before he could, leaning back into his seat. Rubbing his jaw, he watched Matilda shift uncomfortably in her seat before he leant forwards again, reaching for her hand.

Matilda saw his trajectory and, after a brief moment of hesitation, she gently tugged her hand off of the table, settling it uncomfortably in her lap.

Arthur’s lips quirked ruefully, but he didn’t comment on it. “How’s Lola?” he asked.

Matilda visibly relaxed. Talking about Lola was a lot easier than talking about the mess their friendship was in. “She’s really good” she mused “I mean, she’s started to toddle a little. It’s only a couple of steps at a time, but it’s...it’s still pretty amazing to watch. She says mama and papa, too. I was thrilled because she said mama first, but it was only a couple of days before she started saying papa too. She’s amazing” she gushed.

“Have you got pictures?” Arthur asked.

Matilda nodded eagerly. “I’ve got a video of her taking her first steps” she quipped “Excuse the poor quality. Iker was filming, but when she actually did it, he just sort of dropped the phone. We were pretty excited” she added, flashing him a small, bashful smile as she slid the phone across the table.

Arthur pressed play, his lips quirking as he watched the video.

Matilda watched him, her own face brightening when she heard Iker’s excited squeaks emanate away from the phone, before she caught Arthur’s stare on her, causing her to duck her head. “What are we doing here, Art?” she asked quietly.

“I just wanted to talk to you” Arthur replied “Is that so bad? We’ve been friends for over twenty years, Mattie, and I miss having you around. I know that that the situation had changed, and I get why things are as they are, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard for me” he added.

“You don’t think it is hard for me?” Matilda countered.

“I imagine Iker has spent time consoling you” Arthur said, his voice slightly more bitter than he had intended it to be.

Matilda shook her head. “Arthur” she warned.

Arthur held his hands up. “Sorry” he said.

Matilda stared into her drink for a moment, her nose wrinkling at one of the smells that wafted past.

Arthur, who was watching her, tilted his head. “Are you alright?” he asked.

Matilda took a breath before she nodded. “Yeah” she said “Something just smells a bit funny. I caught it for a second” she added.

Arthur’s eyes widened a fraction, causing Matilda’s forehead to crease. “What?” she asked.

Arthur let out a laugh. “You’re an awful liar, Mattie” he quipped.

“What are you talking about?” Matilda pressed “I’m not lying about anything” she added.

“Sure” Arthur said sarcastically “I mean, I must be mistaken about sensitive you were to certain smells when you were pregnant with Lola. I must have imagined that time you almost vomited because I left my trainers in your living room” he added, his voice bright and teasing.

Matilda’s expression was the opposite. Whilst Arthur was playfully rolling his eyes, her eyebrows had drawn together and a frown had started to pull at her lips.

“Mattie?”

Matilda slowly lifted her head, allowing Arthur to survey her face before he leant back in his seat, his expression growing soft in surprise. “You’re not…?” he trailed off.

“I...I don’t know” Matilda stumbled out.

“You don’t know?” Arthur prodded.

Matilda shook her head tightly.

“Could you be?” Arthur asked.

Matilda nodded, just once.

Arthur nodded his head slowly before he reached into the pocket of his jacket, pulling out his wallet. Slipping out some money, he placed it down onto the table before he stood up and pulled on his coat.

Matilda blinked up at him. “Where are you going?” she asked.

“Where do you think I am going?” Arthur asked “There’s a pharmacy nearby that should still be open. We need to get you...”

“No, we don’t” Matilda interrupted, stressing the word ‘we’.

Arthur’s expression faltered, something which caused a lump to grow in Matilda’s throat. She had to find out. If there was a chance that she was pregnant, then she needed to know, but she knew that she couldn’t allow Arthur to be there for the test. It wasn’t like the first time. Matilda wasn’t alone, and she wasn’t as scared, and she couldn't allow herself to share a moment with Arthur that ought to have been about her and Iker. It wasn’t fair to Arthur, and it wasn’t fair to Iker.

Pushing past the lump in her throat, Matilda stood up, her eyes fixed on her feet to avoid seeing the hurt on Arthur’s face. “I...I appreciate that you’re looking out for me” she said “It means a lot. I just...I think I should...”

“You should go home, and do them with Iker” Arthur’s voice was shaky, but he managed to get the words out without faltering over them.

Matilda closed her mouth, offering him one tight nod.

Arthur exhaled a shaky sigh, but nodded his head in agreement. “Of course you should” he agreed “I...I didn’t mean to overstep. I just...I guess I am still not used to us being...being this” he added.

Matilda didn’t know what to say, so she didn’t say anything.

After a moment, Arthur let loose a soft sigh before he leant over, pressing a kiss against her cheek. “I’ll leave you to it” he said softly “It...It was good seeing you, Mattie” he added before he backed away, leaving Matilda staring after him, her head spinning.