Like You Did Before
67: He Can’t Do It Here And You Know It
“Mattie?”
Matilda didn’t lift her head at the sound of Iker’s voice, determined not to allow him to see the tears that were still making their way down her face. She knew that he would understand. Aside from one time, since she had cut ties with Arthur, Iker had been more than understanding about the fact that she was struggling to come to terms with it, but she didn’t want to put him through it again, no matter how much the revelation that Arthur was leaving for Lisbon hurt. She didn’t want to make Iker listen to her cry over Arthur again.
He had surprised her. As bad as things between her and Arthur had gotten, she had never expected that he’d leave Porto because of it, and she hated that he felt as though he had to. She knew it made sense. She knew that if either of them had any chance of recovering after what had gone wrong between them, then distance was probably only going to help, but, as selfish as it was, she didn’t want him to go. It was final. Whatever friendship they had would almost certainly not survive the distance, and Matilda dreaded losing him permanently. He had been a big part of her life.
Keeping her head ducked, she subtly wiped at her eyes before she turned, glancing at Iker cautiously. “Yeah?” she asked.
If Iker noticed that she had been crying, he didn’t show it. “I’ve made some food” he announced “You should come and eat something” he added.
Matilda hesitated for a split second before she nodded, slipping her hand into the one Iker held out towards her. Allowing him to pull her up to her feet, she followed him slowly towards the kitchen before she sunk down into a chair. Iker placed a plate of food and a glass of water in front of her before he settled into his own seat.
For a few minutes, the only sound that could be heard was the soft scraping of cutlery against plates before Iker let out a quiet sigh, his stare moving from his plate to Matilda who was trying to be subtle about wiping her eyes again. “Mattie” he murmured sympathetically.
Matilda quirked a sad smile., looking up at him through her eyelashes “You don’t want to hear it again” she said “I mean, it feels like Art’s all we talk about these days, and I am sure that you’re sick of it” she added.
Iker reached across the table, the pad of his thumb catching another tear that had been trailing down her cheek. “If you want to talk, then I will listen” he murmured softly “Anything you need to say, you can say it to me, Mattie. I need to know that you know that” he added.
It was never going to be easy for him to talk about. Arthur, for as long as he had known Matilda, had been a sore subject for him, but he wanted her to know that he would listen, and that he’d try his best to make her feel better, even if a part of him was glad that Arthur wasn’t going to be around any more. He knew what he meant to Matilda, and he knew that his absence, whilst being a boost for their relationship, was likely to sting her for a while.
Matilda’s eyes searched his expression, looking for any hint that he didn’t mean what he was saying, before she lifted a hand, wiping at her eyes. “I...I didn’t think it’d get this bad” she whispered “I mean, I know things can’t be like they were, but I thought...I thought he’d still be around. I didn’t think that this thing between us could drive him to give up a place I know he adores” she added.
Iker didn’t say anything. He just brushed his thumb comfortingly back and forth along her cheekbone.
Matilda leant into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed.
“Can I say something without you getting upset?” Iker asked after a moment of quiet.
Matilda nodded, blinking her eyes open again to look up at him.
“I know that him leaving is going to hurt” Iker’s words were careful “But, I think this is the right thing for everyone. I know it probably doesn’t feel like it right now, but it does make sense. He’s moving away so that he can have a chance to move on, Mattie. He can’t do that here, and you know it” he added, his fingers gently tucking her hair back off of her face.
Matilda sniffed. “I never meant for him to get hurt” she whispered.
“I know you didn’t” Iker said soothingly “But this really is for the best. For you, and for him. He’s giving himself the chance to move on, and you the chance to be happy where you are” he added, a shy smile tugging up one corner of his mouth as his hand drifted towards her stomach.
Matilda watched his hand settle against her stomach before she moved her own to cover it, squeezing it softly.
Iker leant out of his seat slightly, pressing a tender kiss to her temple before he sat back down, nudging the barely touched plate of food towards her. “You really do need to eat something” he encouraged.
Matilda’s lips quirked upwards as she picked up her cutlery, poking at the food on her plate. “Do you remember what you kept in your car when I was pregnant with Lola?” she asked.
Iker’s forehead furrowed, slightly surprised by the change of subject, before he let out a slightly confused laugh. “I used to keep a bag of snacks in there for you” he quipped “I didn’t want to ask too many questions, I was worried you’d find me overbearing, so I had them there, just in case you were hungry whilst we were together. What’s got you thinking about that?” he asked.
Matilda lifted her shoulders in a small shrug. “I just remembered it” she mused “You didn’t fuss much the first time around” she added.
Iker thought about pointing out how they’d been when she was pregnant with Lola, but he stopped himself. Instead, he smiled at her boyishly. “I think I can safely say it’s going to be different this time” he quipped.
Matilda smiled back at him easily despite the tears that had yet to completely clear from her eyes. “I hope it is” she cooed.
Iker leant towards her, but before he could kiss her, the monitor on the table sounded with Lola’s cries, causing him to huff out a playful sigh. Standing up, he leant over and stole a quick kiss before he padded out of the room, leaving Matilda smiling sadly after him. Arthur leaving hurt, but she couldn’t help but think that Iker was right. If Arthur had a chance at moving on, and if she had a chance to really make things between her and Iker flourish, it was only going to be achieved if they were apart. It was the only way the two of them could focus on the good, and not dwell on the way things between them had fallen apart.
Matilda didn’t lift her head at the sound of Iker’s voice, determined not to allow him to see the tears that were still making their way down her face. She knew that he would understand. Aside from one time, since she had cut ties with Arthur, Iker had been more than understanding about the fact that she was struggling to come to terms with it, but she didn’t want to put him through it again, no matter how much the revelation that Arthur was leaving for Lisbon hurt. She didn’t want to make Iker listen to her cry over Arthur again.
He had surprised her. As bad as things between her and Arthur had gotten, she had never expected that he’d leave Porto because of it, and she hated that he felt as though he had to. She knew it made sense. She knew that if either of them had any chance of recovering after what had gone wrong between them, then distance was probably only going to help, but, as selfish as it was, she didn’t want him to go. It was final. Whatever friendship they had would almost certainly not survive the distance, and Matilda dreaded losing him permanently. He had been a big part of her life.
Keeping her head ducked, she subtly wiped at her eyes before she turned, glancing at Iker cautiously. “Yeah?” she asked.
If Iker noticed that she had been crying, he didn’t show it. “I’ve made some food” he announced “You should come and eat something” he added.
Matilda hesitated for a split second before she nodded, slipping her hand into the one Iker held out towards her. Allowing him to pull her up to her feet, she followed him slowly towards the kitchen before she sunk down into a chair. Iker placed a plate of food and a glass of water in front of her before he settled into his own seat.
For a few minutes, the only sound that could be heard was the soft scraping of cutlery against plates before Iker let out a quiet sigh, his stare moving from his plate to Matilda who was trying to be subtle about wiping her eyes again. “Mattie” he murmured sympathetically.
Matilda quirked a sad smile., looking up at him through her eyelashes “You don’t want to hear it again” she said “I mean, it feels like Art’s all we talk about these days, and I am sure that you’re sick of it” she added.
Iker reached across the table, the pad of his thumb catching another tear that had been trailing down her cheek. “If you want to talk, then I will listen” he murmured softly “Anything you need to say, you can say it to me, Mattie. I need to know that you know that” he added.
It was never going to be easy for him to talk about. Arthur, for as long as he had known Matilda, had been a sore subject for him, but he wanted her to know that he would listen, and that he’d try his best to make her feel better, even if a part of him was glad that Arthur wasn’t going to be around any more. He knew what he meant to Matilda, and he knew that his absence, whilst being a boost for their relationship, was likely to sting her for a while.
Matilda’s eyes searched his expression, looking for any hint that he didn’t mean what he was saying, before she lifted a hand, wiping at her eyes. “I...I didn’t think it’d get this bad” she whispered “I mean, I know things can’t be like they were, but I thought...I thought he’d still be around. I didn’t think that this thing between us could drive him to give up a place I know he adores” she added.
Iker didn’t say anything. He just brushed his thumb comfortingly back and forth along her cheekbone.
Matilda leant into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed.
“Can I say something without you getting upset?” Iker asked after a moment of quiet.
Matilda nodded, blinking her eyes open again to look up at him.
“I know that him leaving is going to hurt” Iker’s words were careful “But, I think this is the right thing for everyone. I know it probably doesn’t feel like it right now, but it does make sense. He’s moving away so that he can have a chance to move on, Mattie. He can’t do that here, and you know it” he added, his fingers gently tucking her hair back off of her face.
Matilda sniffed. “I never meant for him to get hurt” she whispered.
“I know you didn’t” Iker said soothingly “But this really is for the best. For you, and for him. He’s giving himself the chance to move on, and you the chance to be happy where you are” he added, a shy smile tugging up one corner of his mouth as his hand drifted towards her stomach.
Matilda watched his hand settle against her stomach before she moved her own to cover it, squeezing it softly.
Iker leant out of his seat slightly, pressing a tender kiss to her temple before he sat back down, nudging the barely touched plate of food towards her. “You really do need to eat something” he encouraged.
Matilda’s lips quirked upwards as she picked up her cutlery, poking at the food on her plate. “Do you remember what you kept in your car when I was pregnant with Lola?” she asked.
Iker’s forehead furrowed, slightly surprised by the change of subject, before he let out a slightly confused laugh. “I used to keep a bag of snacks in there for you” he quipped “I didn’t want to ask too many questions, I was worried you’d find me overbearing, so I had them there, just in case you were hungry whilst we were together. What’s got you thinking about that?” he asked.
Matilda lifted her shoulders in a small shrug. “I just remembered it” she mused “You didn’t fuss much the first time around” she added.
Iker thought about pointing out how they’d been when she was pregnant with Lola, but he stopped himself. Instead, he smiled at her boyishly. “I think I can safely say it’s going to be different this time” he quipped.
Matilda smiled back at him easily despite the tears that had yet to completely clear from her eyes. “I hope it is” she cooed.
Iker leant towards her, but before he could kiss her, the monitor on the table sounded with Lola’s cries, causing him to huff out a playful sigh. Standing up, he leant over and stole a quick kiss before he padded out of the room, leaving Matilda smiling sadly after him. Arthur leaving hurt, but she couldn’t help but think that Iker was right. If Arthur had a chance at moving on, and if she had a chance to really make things between her and Iker flourish, it was only going to be achieved if they were apart. It was the only way the two of them could focus on the good, and not dwell on the way things between them had fallen apart.