You Had Me At Hello

Ring, ring, ring

My eyes lazily opened as the high pitched sound echoed in my ears. I groaned as I rolled over towards the nightstand and reached for my phone.

"Hello?" I answered groggily.

"Taylor?" I couldn't immediately recognize the voice.

"Yeah?"

"It's Gerard," he said softly. I heard the slight disappointment in his voice. "Mikey gave me your number."

"Oh, hey," I replied, slightly more alert. I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "What's up?"

"Not a whole lot." He was silent for a minute. "I was just wondering if you had any plans for today."

"No, not really. I should probably go to the store at some point, but other than that, I'm wide open. Why do you ask?" I didn't really need to ask. I knew exactly where this was going.

"Well, I was wondering... If it's not too weird..." More silence. He coughed nervously. "Well, I thought that maybe you'd like to go get some coffee, or something..."

"You know..." I trailed off. While I did enjoy talking with him, I didn't really want to further the situation. I had been mentally preparing for this exact moment. On the other hand, it might not turn out to be quite the disaster that Mikey was afraid it would be. Maybe he would realize that he was just confusing the feeling of genuine human contact with the feeling of being in love. Maybe he didn't even mean it that way in the first place.

"Are you still there?"

"Yeah, I am. Sorry, I just woke up."

"Oh, I'm sorry if I woke you," he said apologetically.

"No, you're fine," I replied. I threw my legs over the edge of the bed.

"So, did you want to go out?" Silence. "Just to get some coffee, I mean." I couldn't help but chuckle at the nervous clarification.

"Um, sure. That sounds good," I agreed. There was a thud on the other line, followed by rapid rustling.

"Sorry, I dropped the phone."

"It's okay," I laughed. More silence.

"Okay, so I can meet you at your place, if you'd like?"

"Sure, just give me fifteen or so to get ready."

"Okay, awesome. I will see you soon. Bye."

"Bye."

I set the phone back on my bed before forcing myself out of bed. I grabbed some clothes to throw on before heading to the bathroom for a quick shower. After I was showered and dressed, I slipped on my jacket and made my way towards the door. I grabbed my keys from the hook and double-checked the locked before closing the door behind me. As I spun around, I crashed into someone.

"Oh shit," I exclaimed. He gently grabbed my arms to steady me. "I'm sorry. I should've been paying more attention." He smiled at me, but this one was different from the others that I'd seen. This one was more sincere, fuller. His bright white teeth were slightly exposed. I noticed how the morning sunlight shone brightly in his beautiful hazel eyes. His mildly windblown, jet-black hair was swept to the side, covering his eye gently. His features were so defined. Something about him was so breathtaking. He looked almost angelic in the bright sunlight. He coughed nervously, and I felt flames overtake my face. How long had I just been staring at him?

"So, shall we?" He asked, stretching his hand out in front of him. I nodded, and we headed out, walking side by side. Something about him was different today. He had more of a confidence about him. He didn't seem as withdrawn. His mere presence warmed the chilly autumn air. We walked in silence for what seemed like forever before he finally spoke up.

"So, I had a really good time last night. That may be the first human interaction I've had in years that wasn't forced." He grew silent for a moment. "I'm sure Mikey has told you some things about me, and I'm sure they haven't all been particularly good either..."

"He has," I admitted. "We've been friends for years. We've told each other pretty much everything, the good and the bad..."

"I figured as much. I know how much I've complicated things and how much shit I have caused. I don't have any excuses for it. I can't readily explain it. I know I'm just a fuck-up." I quit walking and looked over at him.

"No, you aren't," I stated firmly. His confidence faltered momentarily. For a split second, he returned to the same version of himself that I saw last night. "Just because you have fucked up, it doesn't mean that you are a fuck-up. I will tell you the exact same thing that I told Mikey. Everyone makes mistakes. Some mistakes may be bigger or more destructive than others, but they are just mistakes. Those mistakes don't define who someone is as a person. How you decide to proceed after those mistakes have been made? That is what defines you." I saw the thoughts racing through his head. There was such a mixed emotion in his eyes. He turned away and continued down the path we were taking. I followed behind him in silence until he abruptly stopped and turned to face me. He seemed to be staring me down for what felt like an eternity. I couldn't read him quite as clearly. Finally, he broke the intense silence.

"You know, every single time I have said that... No one has ever bothered to..." He stopped. "All I get is the whole 'Don't say that' or 'You'll get better' or 'You're just sick'. Since everything started going downhill, that's all it's been. That I'm sick. That I just need help. Maybe this medication will work better than the last. Maybe this therapist can help more than the previous. No one has ever just said that it would be okay. No one ever said that it doesn't make me a fuck-up..." He stepped closer to me and placed my hands in his own. Despite the blustery air, his touch was warm. He pulled our hands to his chest and rested his forehead against mine.

"Well, sometimes... People don't realize that the best thing they can do is offer their support. From experience, not everyone knows that the best cure for an illness is never ending love." His grasp tightened lightly, and he kissed my forehead softly.

"I didn't either..."