Frozen Hearts

I couldn’t allow myself any more comfort than I had already in Gabriel’s apartment. The phone call between his dad was what I was expecting, but the look on Gabriel’s face as he sits in a sullen silence made me feel guilty. I lean against the doorway of the bathroom and take in the sight before me after all this was the first time I’d seen him in several years, and I just wanted to look at him before we were eventually forced to kill each other. I bit my lip as I thought about the conversation between my dad and me when rumors were still floating around that Gabriel was returning.

“Son, I have some news, your childhood friend Gabriel is rumored to be returning to the city. I have word from a mole inside the Spiders that he’s coming to gather information so they can kill you, I want you to watch your back,” He said with the same empty expression he always said to me.

I nod, “that’s not really any different than any other day, father. It’s not like there’s a giant on my back,” I said while rolling my eyes.

A deep growl left my father’s throat, “I know you had feelings for the boy and if I find you slipping in your duties to the gang then I will have to take the position back,” He warned me in a somewhat caring voice.

I sigh, “I’m aware, he’s nothing to me nods and hasn’t been for a long time. You have nothing to fear,” I said.

I never realized I could speak a bigger lie than the one I told my father that day. I smile to myself as I watch him freak out internally, he hasn’t even noticed I was standing here yet, something I would have to work on him with – wait, no, he’s not my problem anymore. If something happens because he’s not paying attention, then that isn’t my problem.

“Hey,” I say softly to get his attention, but not alert his father that I was at Gabriel’s home.

As I expected he jumps and fiddles with his phone as he nearly dropped it on the floor. I could hear his dad questioning him, but Gabriel knew how to lie and knew how to lie well. I chuckle silently as he hangs up the phone and looks at me.

“You shouldn’t be up yet, that was a serious wound,” Gabriel says as he walks over to.

I smile half-heartedly, “I’m glad you’re thinking about me, but I do need to be leaving even in this state. If my father finds out I’m here and who exactly I’m here with, there will be hell to pay and I’m frankly not in the mood,” I say this as I slowly put on my jacket to avoid ripping open his careful stitches.

I pull out my phone as it starts ringing, I answer it without looking since I knew it would be my father and Lynx calling because I wasn’t at the school. I steady my breathing and slide that monotone mask that I always wore over my face.

“Yes, father?” My tone was formal, with no emotion, no relation, nothing. That was how my father justified sending his kids to their deaths often. He pretended that we were only there as disposable pawns that he could make more of.

‘Where the fuck are you?’

I rub the back of my head as his anger could undoubtedly be heard, “I apologize, I needed to take a day to myself and fighting Gabriel opened up an old wound. I should’ve told my brother or called you, but I was bleeding, and my only thought was getting out of view, so no one realized I was weakened,” I reply as I watch Gabriel’s face, he seems surprised that I would cover for him but I was not out for blood anymore.

What happened to our friendship as children sucked and still does, but I won’t deny that I love him with everything I currently have. I wave bye to Gabriel and give him a genuine smile before heading out to begin the trek home. Gabriel wanted to stop me, I could see it on his face, but even he knew he couldn’t out himself to my father or his father would hear about it and a fight would break out.

I hang up the phone after a long verbal lashing from my father and begin the long walk home. I didn’t want to be picked up, but I thought that maybe I should have because something just didn’t feel right. As I look up from my phone, I realize that eight men were circling me with various weapons in their hands. I couldn’t run because it’d lead them too close to Gabriel’s house, but soon I didn’t have a decision to make, as one wrapped their arms around my throat and another yank my arm straight and stabs the needle into my veins. I could feel the burning, itching liquid, searing through my veins, and slowly the effects of the liquid begin to sink in as I feel sleepy. I drop my phone on the ground intentionally, I was on the path that Gabriel would eventually take to school, so I knew he would see my phone and know something was up.

I hope he would be smart enough to realize that he shouldn’t come for me and instead should take it to Lynx, he’ll know what to do from there.