Can’t Look Away

Pressing a gentle kiss to the back of Sasha’s hand, Lionel let out a quiet sigh before he cuddled her hand to his cheek, determined to not let go of it for a moment. It was just the two of them. Cassie had excused herself almost as soon as he had arrived to call Sasha’s parents, and he hadn’t seen her since, but he wasn’t entirely surprised that that was the case. If he were in her shoes, he would have wanted to avoid the moment that Sasha woke up and found him sat at her bedside. He couldn’t not come. As soon as he had heard that there was something wrong, he’d been gathering his keys into his hand and making his way out of the door, and he didn’t care that there was a chance that Sasha would react negatively to his presence. Regardless of where things between them stood, he had to be in the room to see that she was alright.

Closing his eyes, he offered her hand another soft squeeze before he kissed it again, wordlessly willing her to wake up.

“She’s exhausted”

Lionel blinked his eyes open, glancing over at Cassie who stood in the doorway. “Huh?” he spluttered.

“That’s why this happened” Cassie clarified “She’s exhausted, and slightly dehydrated. They’re going to keep her overnight to treat the dehydration, and when she wakes up, they want to do an ultrasound. They’ve already been able to find a heartbeat, but they just wanted to check that everything is still as it should be” she added, offering him a comforting smile.

“Baby’s OK?” Lionel breathed out, the relief visible on his face.

“The heartbeat was still good” Cassie confirmed “And the scan is just a precaution. Baby’s good, Leo” she insisted.

Lionel beamed, entirely out of relief, before he turned his head, pressing a kiss against Sasha’s palm.

Sasha stirred, something which caused Cassie to clear her throat, briefly pulling Lionel’s attention back over to her. “I’ll wait outside” she said gently “I told Eddie and Carina not to come, but they’re her parents, so they ignored me. I’ll keep them busy for a bit so that the two of you can…talk” she added.

Lionel offered her a small smile, wordlessly thanking her, before he turned back to Sasha, watching as her eyes blinked open only to screw closed again, trying to keep out the over-bright florescent lights. It took her a couple of attempts to open them fully, and when she did, her forehead creased in confusion, something which caused Lionel to squeeze her hand softly. “You’re in hospital” he said quietly.

Sasha turned to look up at him, her eyes wide and confused. “Hospital?” she asked.

“You passed out” Lionel clarified “Do you remember that?” he asked.

Sasha’s forehead creased again in concentration before she slowly nodded her head. “I...I felt weird” she said “I remember feeling weird, but I didn’t think it was anything to worry about. I’ve had dizzy spells before with the morning sickness” she added before her expression changed and her hand moved down to the blanket which covered her stomach.

Lionel didn’t hesitate. His hand covered hers and squeezed it softly as he offered her a small, reassuring smile.

“The baby?” Sasha croaked, her eyes watery.

“Baby is OK” Lionel replied “They’ve already checked for a heartbeat, and it’s still good. They’re going to do a proper scan now that you’re awake, but Cassie said it was just a precaution” he added.

The relief flooded Sasha’s face instantly and was accompanied by a gentle sob.

Lionel leant over, his thumb gently brushing the tears away from her eyes. “You were exhausted” he said gently “And dehydrated. Sasha, I know that the last few days have been rough, and I know that you’re hurting, but you...You need to take care of yourself, Sasha, for you, and for him or her” he added, gently shifting their hands against her stomach.

He didn’t want to lecture her. He knew that he didn’t need to explain the risks of not taking care of herself to her, but he couldn’t help himself. He had been terrified, for Sasha, and for the baby, and he was just so relieved that things were alright, even if there was still tension between the two of them. Just knowing that Sasha was safe, that their baby was safe, was enough for him.

Sasha’s eyes flicked to their hands on her stomach before she exhaled a shaky sigh, her head falling lightly against the pillow behind her. “I’m sorry” she whispered “I got wrapped up in my thoughts, and I guess I let other stuff slide. I’m sorry that I scared you” she added.

Lionel sunk back into his chair, offering her a tired smile. “I’m just relieved that you’re both alright” he said “When Cassie called me...let’s just say, I’ve never been that scared before” he added.

Sasha gently squeezed his hand, allowing a silence to stretch between them, before she shook her head. “How’s Cassie’s place?” she asked, stuck for anything else to say. She wanted to talk to him, to try and clear the air, but she had no idea where to start.

Lionel let out a soft, rueful, laugh. He wasn’t at all surprised that, instead of being direct with him, Sasha had opted to beat around the bush. “She’s redecorated” he quipped “And rearranged the furniture. It makes the bedroom seem a little bigger” he added.

Sasha’s lips quirked ever so slightly in acknowledgement of the inside joke that they shared.

Lionel caught sight of it, but didn’t say anything. It was tentative progress at best and he didn’t want to push it. Ducking his head, he allowed the silence to linger between them until the door swung open, allowing Sasha’s doctor, and their midwife, to traipse through it, pushing a machine ahead of them.

“Miss Vallejo, it’s good to see you up” the doctor mused with a pleasant smile.

Sasha smiled back at him shyly.

“We just want to do a quick ultrasound to check on baby” Christina, their midwife, mused “We're confident that everything is alright, but it never hurts to be sure. You gave us a bit of a scare, Sasha” she added, her look caught somewhere between kind and stern.

Sasha’s eyes moved to Lionel guiltily before she looked down at her lap, watching as the blanket and the gown she was wearing were moved out of the way to reveal her stomach. Leaning her head back, she hissed slightly at the feel of the cool gel over her stomach before she felt the wand move against her skin. For a few seconds, it was excruciatingly quiet. Sasha couldn’t turn to look at the screen, and Lionel was entirely transfixed by it, but they both relaxed when a strong, steady heartbeat filled the air.

Turning over, Sasha stared up at the screen, her eyes full of tears. “Is baby OK?” she whispered.

Christina smiled warmly. “Yes, baby is” she confirmed “It’s really mama that gave us the scare. This little one is resilient” she added.

Sasha’s laugh was more of a relieved sob than anything else, something which made Lionel reach out and capture her hand again, trying to comfort her.

Sasha’s stare moved to their hands again before she slowly looked up into Lionel’s face. He looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept for a couple of nights, but he also looked relieved that everything with her and the baby was alright, even if things between them were weird. She could see on his face that, as long as she and the baby were OK, he’d make do with everything else she threw at him.

Blinking a couple of times, she felt the tears drip down her cheeks before she placed a hand on his cheek, guiding him into her so that she could press a kiss to his lips. She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t tell him that she had missed him, and that all she had wanted for days was to cuddle up next to him like nothing had ever happened. She didn’t have the words to say that she just wanted him to be around, but she hoped the kiss would show him. Regardless of what had come before, of how strained things had been for the previous few days, it meant the world to her that he was there.