Can’t Look Away

67: Do You Know What My First Thought Was?

“What did you and Leila talk about?”

Lionel, who’d been watching over Arlo as he drifted off to sleep, felt the tension grow in his shoulders at the sound of Sasha’s voice before he ducked his head, letting out a quiet sigh. She had waited. With the house full of her family, chances for her to pull him aside and ask what had happened between him and her sister had been few and far between, but with everyone having departed, he had known that it would only be a matter of time before she asked. It made her anxious. Most of his interactions with Leila since he and Sasha had gotten together had been negative, and he knew that that meant that Sasha worried. He knew that, despite everything, she still put too much time into worrying about what her sister thought or did.

Scratching his jaw a little, he turned and looked up at her as she wandered across the room, dropping onto the mattress next to him. “Does it really matter?” he prodded.

Sasha’s shrug was tight, even despite the attempt she made to keep a smile on her face. “I was just curious” she mused “You got quiet after you spoke to her” she added.

“No, I didn’t” Lionel retorted.

“Yeah, you did” Sasha replied “Not enough for my parents or James to notice, but I noticed. I know you too well” she added, her voice caught between soft and teasing.

He had done a good job of hiding it. When he had left Leila behind to follow her back to the living room, his mood seemed unaffected to everyone else around them, but Sasha knew better. His good mood had faded slightly. His smiles were a little tighter than they had been before, and it bothered Sasha. She didn’t like the idea that Leila had said something that had unsettled him.

Lionel exhaled a soft sigh before he fell back against the mattress. “It wasn’t anything special” he noted “It was the usual stuff. She tried to apologise, but I wasn’t interested. She was just very Leila about everything, Sasha. It really isn’t anything for you to worry about” he added, his hand gently rubbing against her back.

Sasha’s eyes flitted between his hand on her back and his face a couple of times before she laid down next to him. Turning onto her side, she wrapped her arms around him, causing Lionel to follow, his arms wrapping around her gently. “Tell me about Arlo” he mumbled after a few quiet moments “Did your papa cry when he held him for the first time?” he asked.

Sasha let out a soft laugh, a sound which made Lionel smile, relieved at the change of atmosphere in the room. He didn’t want to dwell on Leila for any longer than was absolutely necessary. “He tried to hide it” Sasha replied “But I think he got to him” she added.

“I can’t picture Eddie crying” Lionel mused “I’m disappointed that I missed it” he added.

Sasha was quiet for a moment before she leant her head back, her eyes searching his.

Lionel’s forehead creased at the sight of her concentrated expression, a bemused smile spread across his lips. “Everything alright?” he prodded.

“Yeah” Sasha replied, looking away from him again “Sorry, I was just thinking about something, but it’s nothing” she added.

Lionel stopped her when she attempted to duck her head. Gently, he cupped her cheek in his palm before he tilted her head back, a gentle smile on his face. “What were you thinking about?” he prodded.

“Leo...”

“You looked like you wanted to say something” Lionel cut in, stopping her inevitable claim that it was nothing “Come on, Sasha. You’ve got to know that, whatever you want to say, you can say it to me” he coaxed, his thumb gently tracing the line of her cheekbone.

Sasha’s eyes fluttered closed under the soft touch before she let out a soft sigh. “Do you know what James and I were doing when my waters broke?” she asked quietly.

“What were you doing?” Lionel prodded, playing along.

Sasha let her eyes flutter open again before she took in a deep breath, the starts of a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “We were talking about you” she replied “I told him about...about what you did when he and Ellie got married. About how you...”

“Asked you to marry me” Lionel finished for her.

Sasha nodded. “It’s going to sound stupid” she mumbled “But I wondered how he knew that he wanted to marry Ellie. I thought, if I heard him explain it, then I’d be able to figure my own feelings out. It was probably a stupid time to ask, given that I was on the verge of having a baby, but it had been on my mind. It still is” she admitted.

Lionel’s eyes widened a little. “It is?” he prodded.

They had left the topic alone. After he had proposed, and Sasha had asked for time to think it over, they had both given it a wide birth, and Lionel was surprised that Sasha had been the one to bring it up, even if he had been hoping that she would be. He had wanted to mention it a few times, but he had shied away, terrified that Sasha would think that he was trying to push her into something. It wasn’t how he wanted their engagement to come about. He wanted to ask and know that when he did, Sasha’s face would light up and the yes would come almost instantly.

Sasha nodded her head. “Do you know what my first thought was when you said you couldn’t imagine my papa crying?” she asked.

“What?” Lionel asked.

Sasha’s face brightened with a shy smile. “That you’d probably see it when he walks me up the aisle to you” she retorted.

Lionel let out a surprised laugh.

Sasha smiled at the sound, but shook her head, an embarrassed flush spreading along her cheekbones.

Lionel’s eyes searched her face, his smile fading into a slightly curious frown. “Sasha” he murmured “What exactly is it that you’re saying here?” he asked.

Sasha took in a deep breath before she rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling with a nervous smile. “I’m saying that, if you were to ask again, then you might find that the answer is different this time” she announced.

For a moment, the words just hung in the air. Sasha couldn’t quite believe that she had said them, and Lionel couldn’t believe that he was hearing them, but slowly, it settled in. Untangling himself from their embrace, Lionel stood up from the bed and wandered across the room, pulling the top drawer of his dresser open.

“Leo?” Sasha prodded quietly.

Lionel busied himself in the drawer for a few moments before he turned around, looking at her with an expression she couldn’t quite place. “Come over here” he said lowly.

Sasha blinked, but slowly she pushed herself up and walked towards him, stopping in front of him.

Lionel took a moment to stare at her before he slowly knelt down, causing Sasha’s hands to fly to her face, stifling a soft gasp. Slowly, he held a hand up to her, waiting for her to put a hand in it, before he knotted their fingers together, his other hand presenting a small square box to her. “Sasha” he said gently.

Sasha sniffled, her other hand shielding the watery smile that itched to split across her features.

“Will you marry me?” Lionel asked.

Sasha didn’t say anything, she couldn’t, but she nodded her head frantically.

Lionel didn’t need the word. With a wide grin, he sprung back up to his feet and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her just as tightly as she was hugging him.
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Thanks to Jayme112234 and Twisted;;Symphony for the comments :)