Can’t Look Away

“Sasha?”

Sasha smiled a little at the sound of Lionel’s voice, but didn’t lift her head, her eyes fixed on Arlo who was settled in his crib, still stirring in an attempt to keep himself awake. They had been up there for a while. After the little boy had had cuddles from both sets of his grandparents, and a couple of his aunts and uncles, Sasha had taken him upstairs to bed, and whilst she would normally worry about how long it took to settle him down, she was grateful for the excuse to stay away for a little while.

There had been no avoiding it. With the news that she and Lionel were engaged, it’d been inevitable that their families would want to meet one another, and with his family having flown over for a visit anyway, they found themselves hosting an impromptu engagement party, something which had Sasha slightly anxious. They hadn’t invited Leila and she worried that her absence would draw questions from Lionel’s family. They knew she had a sister. Leila was present in the family photographs which Sasha had added to the living room when she had moved in, and she worried that if the questions came up, she wouldn’t be able to answer them. There was no nice way to explain all that had happened between them.

“He’s still awake” Sasha said.

Lionel glanced over the side of the crib, a gentle smile on his face, before he sat down on the edge of the bed, his hand immediately finding Sasha’s.

Sasha sighed softly, her head settling against his shoulder.

The two of them sat quietly for a few minutes, watching as Arlo’s eyes fluttered shut, before Lionel sighed, his hand squeezing hers softly. “You know that they came to see us, right?” he said softly.

Sasha scoffed playfully. “They’re going to be family when we get married” she retorted “They just want to make sure that they can stand each other” she added.

Lionel smiled, messing with her fingers. “There’s a little of that” he agreed “But there’s also a lot of wanting to celebrate us, which is pretty hard to do when you’re hiding up here” he added, his tone caught between soft and knowing.

“I’m not hiding” Sasha retorted.

“You are” Lionel countered “A little, at least” he added, holding his thumb and forefinger a small distance apart.

Sasha stared at his hand before she let out a quiet sigh. “They’re going to ask why my sister isn’t here” she said “And I am going to have to explain that you were something to her, long before you were something to me, and that whilst you’ve managed to get past it, she can’t. I’m going to have to admit that my older sister isn’t happy that I have found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and that’s not something I like admitting” she explained.

Lionel leant his head against the top of hers. “I don’t know what to say to that” he admitted.

“I thought we’d be OK” Sasha mused “After she got over the surprise of me and you getting together, and we had that conversation about you and Olivier, I really thought we’d be able to put things behind us. Clearly, I was naive” she added.

Lionel’s hand moved to her back, rubbing it comfortingly. He didn’t have anything to say. He knew that Sasha wanted a relationship with her sister, but he also knew that, as long as he remained in the picture, it simply wasn’t viable. Leila didn’t like that they were together. It didn’t matter how far removed they were from the nights he and Leila had spent together, she wasn’t going to change her mind, and it meant that Sasha was always going to be presented with the same choice: him or her sister.

Sasha leant into his touch, allowing her eyes to flutter closed for a few moments before someone knocked against the bedroom door, causing both her and Lionel to jump.

James held up a hand in apology, a slightly amused smile on his face. “Sorry” he noted “I just thought I’d let you know that the mothers have started going through wedding magazines. If you don’t come back soon, I fear they’ll have planned the day for you” he added.

Sasha let out a laugh that made Lionel smile. It was a genuine one and he was relieved to hear it. “Where’d they get wedding magazines?” she asked.

“Ellie might have bought a couple” James replied, shrugging casually “They are a few months old, she got them when we were planning ours, but she thought you’d like them. She thought they might help you come up with a few ideas to start you off” he added.

Sasha’s face brightened with a soft smile. “She didn’t have to do that” she said.

James offered her a slightly confused smile. “They’re only magazines, Sasha” he mused.

“It’s just nice” Sasha replied “I should come and thank her” she added before she climbed to her feet.

James and Lionel both watched her out of the room before James turned to glance at the Argentine, his forehead creased slightly in confusion. “Is she OK?” he asked.

Lionel’s smile was slightly sad as he nodded. “Leila” he murmured.

That one word was enough for James’s expression to clear in understanding.

“I don’t think she misses her” Lionel continued “I just think she probably had slightly different expectations for this situation” he added.

James nodded his head slowly.

“The thing with Leila can’t be fixed” Lionel mused “Not unless one of us invents a time machine” he added, shaking his head ruefully.

James smirked. “Are you close to doing that?” he asked.

Lionel laughed, but shook his head.

James stared at him briefly before he stepped closer, patting his shoulder. “Everyone else is over the moon for the two of you” he noted “You both know that, don’t you?” he added.

Lionel nodded.

James patted his shoulder again. “Don’t let my other sister get at you” he noted “It’s what she wants. She wants to be the centre of attention, and she’s not particularly shy of trampling over Sasha to do it. She’s done it since we were kids, and Sasha, as much as I love her, has let her get away with far too much for far too long. You two are good together. You make each other happy. Don’t let Leila make you lose sight of that. Do you love my youngest sister?” he asked.

Lionel offered him a deadpan look. “Is that even a question?” he countered “We’re at our engagement party” he added.

James grinned. “Then just love her and the rest of it will figure itself out one way or another” he retorted.

“You make it sound easy” Lionel quipped, scratching his jaw lightly.

James just offered his shoulder another pat before he backed out of the door. “Welcome to the family” he teased before he disappeared.

Lionel chuckled gently before he moved to follow, hoping that the more time they spent around people who were excited for them, the less Leila’s absence would bother Sasha.