Can’t Look Away

“Do you want me to stay?”

Sasha lifted her stare away from Leila, settling it on Lionel who hovered in the doorway, not entirely sure whether he should step inside or run away as quickly as he could. Sasha didn’t blame him for being wary about Leila being there. Despite her insistence that she was only there to make amends with her younger sister, her presence in their home had only ever meant bad things for them before, and whilst Sasha had a tendency to be optimistic, Lionel wasn’t. He’d watched Leila get her hopes up before. He’d watched her try and make amends, only to end up hurting the two of them all over again, and Sasha knew he was hesitant to let it happen again. She knew that she could be won over by her sister, that she often made it too easy for Leila to get back in her good books, and she knew that Lionel would put a stop to it. He wasn’t about to let her get hurt again.

“I just want to talk to her” Leila replied, glancing over her shoulder at Lionel.

“I wasn’t asking you” Lionel countered, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly as he looked down at Leila.

Sasha cleared her throat, pulling Lionel and Leila’s attention back towards her. “I want him to stay” she mused.

“Sasha...”

“You showed up here, unannounced” Sasha interrupted “I don’t know what you’re going to say, and how it’s going to affect me, so I would like my fiance to stick around, to support me. If that bothers you, you know where the door is” she added, her voice carefully even.

Her emotions were all over the place. Part of her was thrilled to see her sister, part of her wanted to believe that they could finally put everything behind them and move forwards, but she couldn’t help but be wary. They had tried, and failed, before.

Leila fell quiet for a moment, her expression softening slightly, before she nodded her head. “OK” she confirmed.

Sasha nodded her head before she extended a hand out towards Lionel who didn’t hesitate to take it, settling comfortably into the space beside her.

Leila lifted her head slightly, watching Lionel’s thumb as it gently brushed back and forth over the back of Sasha’s hand, before she quirked a small, sad smile. “I don’t know where to begin” she admitted quietly.

“Leila” Sasha warned softly.

Leila exhaled a quiet sigh before she nodded her head. She knew better than to outstay the tentative welcome that Lionel and Sasha had offered her. “I have some news” she mused “And before I tell you what it is, I want to talk about everything else. Because I realised that when I got engaged, the first person I wanted to tell was you, Sasha, and when I found this out, you were at the top of the list again. I wanted to pick up the phone, and call you, but I realised I couldn’t. I’ve made the biggest mess of this, and I want to try and fix it” she added.

“Like you fixed it before?” Lionel’s voice was bitter, even despite the soft squeeze that Sasha offered his hand, warning him against it “This isn’t one mistake, Leila” he added.

“I know it isn’t” Leila replied.

“Do you?” Sasha asked softly “I know that things are complicated, that I have a history with Olivier, and that you’ve got one with Lionel, but I have never been anything other than supportive of you. You, on the other hand, have tried to destroy my relationship at every turn. You used my insecurities against me, and when that didn’t work, you actually kissed my boyfriend in this room. You’ve gone out of your way to hurt me, Leila, so why should I believe that you’ve had some sort of epiphany?” she added.

Leila shifted in her seat slightly, pulling a couple of things out of her jacket pocket, before she placed one of them onto the counter. “I stole this off of James’s fridge” she admitted “I don’t have my own” she added, gently pushing the copy of Lionel and Sasha’s wedding invitation towards them.

“Why would we invite you?” Lionel asked.

“You wouldn’t” Leila replied “Why on earth would you invite someone whose gone out of their way to make you miserable? I didn’t expect one, honestly, but when I saw this on James’s fridge, when I overheard Ellie on the phone with what I can only assume was you or Cassie, Sasha, it hit me. My baby sister is getting married, and she doesn’t want me to be there” she added.

Sasha shook her head. “I do want you there” she retorted “I just...How am I supposed to trust you, Leila?” she pressed.

“I don’t know” Leila replied.

“Then why are you here?” Sasha asked.

Leila took the other thing she’d pulled out of her jacket pocket and laid it down on the counter, sliding it over towards Lionel who picked it up and turned it over, his expression softening ever so slightly. Offering Leila a look, he stepped back towards Sasha and held it out towards her.

Sasha hesitated briefly before she gently took it out of his hand, her eyes scanning over it before they darted back over to her sister, wide in surprise and awe.

Leila quirked a faint smile, her cheeks a soft shade of pink. “We didn’t plan it” she mused “We had both agreed that we’d re-evaluate in a year or so, to see if being around Ivy or Arlo stirred any kind of change of heart, but sometimes things just happen. Ollie was unsure at first, I was, too, but we’ve had a few weeks to get used to it, and I think we’re both in a good place” she explained.

“I’m going to be an aunt?” Sasha whispered.

Leila nodded her head. “You are” she confirmed “And this is why I came here tonight. You’re right. I haven’t been supportive. I’ve interfered, and I have hurt the two of you in a lot of different ways. I know it’s just words, and I am not expecting anything to come of it, but I wanted to say it. I wanted to try, at the very least, because I don’t want my son or daughter to look at a picture at our parents’ house one day and ask why they’ve never met their aunt, their uncle, or their cousin. I can’t undo everything, but I do want to try and get past them. I am not asking the two of you to forgive me, I know I haven’t done anything to earn it, but I want to start to try” she added.

Sasha’s stare had moved back to the sonogram, so when Lionel’s hand brushed her back, she startled slightly. Shaking her head, she lowered the sonogram slightly before she looked back over at her sister. “I want to believe you” she mused.

“We both do” Lionel contributed “But we’ve been here before” he added.

Leila nodded sombrely.

Sasha glanced up at Lionel, wordlessly asking what he thought they ought to do.

Lionel held her stare for a few moments before he nodded his head slightly, something which caused Sasha to flash him a little smile before she stepped out of the room. When he heard her footsteps recede, he stepped closer to the counter, his eyes narrowing on Leila. “I won’t let you hurt her again” he said firmly “Sasha is...she’s wonderful, and her ability to see the best in people, it’s part of her that I love very much, but if she is just opening herself up to you doing something to hurt her again, I will be forced to act. She’ll forgive you every time, Leila, you know that, but I won’t let you take advantage of it again. She deserves to be happy, I’m trying to give her that, but if you’re here just to take it away from her...”

“I’m not here for that” Leila cut in “I promise you” she added.

Lionel searched her face, looking for any trace that she was being dishonest, but he couldn’t see anything,

“Here” Sasha’s voice preceded her walking back into the room “I hope you and Olivier can make it” she added, placing an envelope in front of her sister.

Leila picked it up before she nodded. “We wouldn’t miss it” she replied, grinning at Sasha who smiled timidly in return.

Lionel watched the two of them before he exhaled a muted sigh, hoping that Leila was being honest, and that Sasha, who would always put too much faith in her older sister, wasn’t just setting herself up for another fall.