Corruption

I heard Candace come through the door, but I was already ready to go so I didn’t rush down the hallway as I slinked into her bedroom just as she began to run up the stairs. I laid down on her bed, getting comfortable as her footsteps thundered their way toward me. She burst through the door and threw Cass onto the bed, rolling on herself before she even saw me. She looked happy again, making me smile as she saw me.

I ruffled her hair with my fingers, sitting up at the same time Candace did. “I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere.” I asked me. My voice quavered at the end, showing her how nervous I was about her answer.

She searched his face, But I recovered quickly, putting a smile back onto my face. She asked, “Where to?”

My smile widened. “It’s a secret.” I whispered.

She laughed, genuinely laughed. “Alright, let’s go.”

I took her hand and almost ran down the stairs. I had made arrangements with Charles early as she had been on her walk. He had to go and pick up a client for Nathan, so before he left, he was going to bring Candace and I to our destination. I led her outside to the limo--Charles holding the door open for us. I let Candace get in first, catching the wink Charles gave her as she got in. What was with older people and winking? I wondered.

I didn’t let go of her hand as I reminded Charles where to go, not that the directions were difficult. Go straight; not too hard to remember. Candace’s arm was outstretched toward me, almost uncomfortably, but I got in a minute later relieving her of the discomfort. The door slammed next to me, but I didn’t notice. Candace stared up at me, smiling.

I patted her hand with my free one. “This is going to be nice, don’t worry.”

She squeezed my hand in response. “I’m sure it will be.”

After only two minutes I felt the car slow, and then stop. Charles' door opened first, and then he opened ours. The sun outside was blinding at first, making it hard to see as I stepped out pulling Candace along with me. A very small park was in front of us now, one slide and two swings behind it. The equipment looked rather old, but still seemed like I knew the place. It was almost identical to the park Candace and I use to go to when she lived back in Georgia.

Her expression puzzled me. His eyes were wide in astonishment, her lips in a frown, and her hand was sweating in mine. “You like it?” I asked. The silence was staring to unnerve me.

“Do I?” she asked, a smile creeping onto her face.

“Happy birthday Candace.” I said.

I squeezed her hand tighter as I dragged her toward the swings. Charles pulled off the side of the road and headed toward the city. We jumped onto the swings and started to accelerate as we both rocked back and fourth. Candace’s laugh was the only other sound beside the gentle squeak of the chains on the swings. I laughed with her, glad that she was having a good time.

Just as quickly as Candace had gotten on the swing, she was off, racing toward the slide. I jumped off of the swing I was on as it started to drop from mid-air. The landing rattled the bones in my legs up to my hips but I ignored the discomfort and chased after Candace. It was like we were children again, not really caring how old or mature we acted. It didn’t seem to matter. I tried to grabbed Candace before she flew down the slide, but she was too quick, zipping away from easily.

She looked up at me from the bottom, a smile on her face. I smiled too, jumping down from the ladder. She screamed in response, running away from me towards the woods. I took after her, catching up to her in just a few strides. I jumped to catch her around the chest, bringing her down to the ground. I made it so she landed on me, not the other way around.

I grunted as her weight fell on top of me. She laughed at my expression; pure shock and excitement mixed together. I laughed too, almost sure I wouldn’t have been able to keep a straight face for more than half of a second. She was lying sideways on my chest, her arms trapped by mine. She tried to twist away, but I held her there. Her bare skin on mine felt like a wild fire of flesh and flesh, warming me inside and out. I didn’t want to let her go just yet.

Her body shifted as she tried to free herself. Our chests were pressed together now and I could feel her heart thudding against my chest like small fists punching mine. I looked at Candace’s face to see how she would react. She was still smiling, but it faded as our eyes met unblinkingly. Mine faded too, my heart beat quickening from such closeness to her. She broke the gaze first, staring at her hands that were balled up into fists on my chest. She relaxed them, letting her fingers trace the lines of my chest to my neck, then stopping right above my heart as she traced my chest back down, feeling its beat under her palms.

It was like she didn’t realize what she was doing at first, then her cheeks flushed crimson, her eyes shining with…something. I couldn’t put a finger on it.

I released some of my hold on Candace, letting her go if she wished. I wanted her to stay more than anything, which she did. My heart skipped a beat, watching Candace as she gazed back at me with more intensity that I had ever seen in her eyes when she looked at me.

Candace’s face came an inch closer to mine, her lips parting. I didn’t move, waiting to see what would happen. Her full lips moved an immeasurable amount, her eyelids lowering as if she was concentrating. Her face came ever so closer to mine again, her hot breath on my face. The intensity grew in her eyes as she searched mine for something.

Then it was gone. She rolled off of my chest, collapsing next to me on the grass. Her head rested on my outstretched arm, not bothering to move away from me.

I sighed frustrated with myself and with Candace. It was there, I knew the feelings were there. She had to know they were there too.

I stared up at the blue sky, trying to slow down my breathing and my heart. I grabbed Candace’s hand after a few minutes of silence and help her to her feet. I pulled her to the swings slowly, wanting to keep her warm hand in mine. She sat down on the swing, expecting me to do the same. I surprised her by going behind her and starting to push on the small of her back, making her rock slightly. I continued this, letting her go higher and higher, both of us silent.

I stopped pushing her and stood next to the other swing, watching as Candace’s blank face soared past me. She slowed, and her closed eyes popped open to find me. I asked, “You like this place?”

Candace dragged her feet on the ground, slowing herself even more. “Of course. It almost seems surreal.”

I nodded. “I found this park on my way here from the airport. It seems to be just like the one at home. It feels the same.”

“It must have been good luck then.”

I didn’t smile at that. “I’m not so good with luck.”

She smiled at me though. “I know.”

I placed my hands in my pockets, leaning against the pole of the swing set. I didn’t know what else to do with them. I moved my feet along the blades of grass, watching as they bent with the slightest touch of my shoe. I wanted to tell her how I felt. Tell her how being here with her at this moment made me feel inside and out. The way I felt like I had everything I could ever possibly need in the world, here with me now. But everything I thought of that I could say sounded cheesy.

“This--feels--so--right.” I choked out, sighing when the words didn’t express what I had wanted them too. I looked up from the grass I was still moving with my shoe, to look at Candace’s reaction.

After deliberating for a moment, she nodded. That was all that was said between us for a long moment. I stayed standing for awhile, the bar behind me keeping me standing up. Candace’s face never left the floor as she rocked herself back and fourth.

The minutes turned into hours of silence. I went back to pushing Candace on the swing, hiding my face from her, hers from mine. When the sun was starting to set instead of rise, I went into the forest on the outskirts of the park, and grabbed the picnic basket I had planted there just this morning.

I placed the blanket that was inside the basket on the grass and nodded to Candace. She sat down on the soft fabric and leaned back on her elbows, clearly at ease once again. I was relieved to see that she didn’t really dwell on the past.

The ring on Candace’s finger shown in the sunlight, making it almost too painful to look at. I smiled to myself, thinking that Aiden didn’t have anything of his that Candace wore. It was always about competition. I hated competing for her. Was that what I was doing? Competing? That couldn’t be right…I knew I wasn’t going to get her even if I tried.

I placed all of the food and plates on the blanket in front of Candace. She smiled up at me, looking at the assortment of food I had prepared for the trip. She looked back down at the container that held the birthday cake.

I opened that first, giving Candace a fork and digging into a piece that had part of my head on the frosting. Candace dug in too, eating half of my piece before I had the time to protest.

“Desert first. Something I like to do every once and awhile.” I admitted, grabbing up the container filled with salad.

Candace laughed. “I find it odd that we ate our own heads.”

I laughed too. “That is a little weird.”

“My dad meant well. He just tries to make up for everything in large quantities.”

A pang of hurt rushed through my gut. The memory of my dad leaving was horrible. The constant yelling, the slamming of doors, the glass vase being broken; it wasn’t something I liked to think about.

I shrugged off the memory. “No big deal.”

Candace seemed to notice the change in me. “Tell me about it.” She encouraged. I was sure she didn’t know what I was upset about, but she could tell by face that I was in fact upset.

I thought through all of things I was worried about right now, and told her the most recent as of this moment. “I was just thinking about when my dad left.”

This was something she could relate to. I wouldn’t have to explain every single thing to her in order for her to understand where I was coming from.

“Months before I left to come up here, my parents were already having problems. My mom was the one that left first.: Candace was about to comment, but I held up my hand. “Wait...”

She closed her mouth and sat still, waiting for me to go on.

“My mom was the one that left first, spending her days and nights in a hotel on the other side of Atlanta. She called everyday to speak to me and my dad, but he never let her in the house at first. They talked about a month after she left, and she moved back in. All was fine for about a month or two then it started again.”

“I remember the day I came home from school. The house was a mess. Things were shattered every which way you looked, and all of the phones were off the hook. The ringing of them all was so loud I had to cover my ears.” I smiled at Candace who was growing with pity.

“Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t that loud. The sound was just annoying. Anyway, my mom was upstairs in the bathroom, running her hand under the sink. At first, I though my dad had hurt her. I never thought it had been the other way around.”

Candace went to interrupt me again, but I silenced her with a look. “Could you let me tell my story first?”

She nodded. She pulled her legs up to her chest and waited for me to continue.

I sighed, trying to keep my cool as I went on. “Her hand had been sliced open, so I brought her to the hospital. My dad hadn’t been at home, so I thought he had run. When we got to the hospital, there he was. My mom had wacked him over the head with a vase and sliced his head open.”

Candace gasped, but I ignored her.

“I really didn’t think my mom could have done such a thing. But when she saw him, she went berserk. She went for him, punching and kicking the living hell out of him. They almost had to bring her to jail, but my dad didn’t press charges. They gave my mom some medication to calm her down, and said she could go home after they stitched her up.

“My dad told me that my mom had just gone insane on him, chasing him around the house with a knife. I didn’t believe my mom could do that, but when I had seen her beat up my dad and he didn’t even fight back, I knew he was telling the truth. She was going insane. I’m sure what has been causing it, but my dad says she’s been this way for awhile.

“When my dad said he was going to leave for awhile to give her space, I was going to go too. I had all of my things packed and I was going to escape from her. She was going crazy!”

I let my mind trail back to the memory of the day I tried to escape from her. “It was a Saturday so she was working that morning. My dad had come back to pick me up so I could go and live with him for awhile. My mom came home before I could do anything.

“That was when I really saw that she wasn’t herself. My dad tried to help me, we both tried to stop her, but nothing would work.” I wondered if I should tell Candace this. I had hid this from her for so long, and I didn’t know if I could tell her now. This was not something I liked to relive.

Candace came to sit by me, her face close to mine. “What is it?” she asked.

My fingers traced the raised scar on my shoulder that was from a knife, underneath my shirt. No, Candace didn’t need to know.

I shook my head. “That was when my dad left without me.”

Candace laid her head down on my shoulder. “I’m sorry Mike.”

I closed my eyes, pressing my cheek to her hair. The atmosphere was beginning to get tense and uncomfortable, so I changed the subject. “It’s such a nice day today. I’m glad you agreed to do this with me. It’s like my own present instead of yours.”

“So I am.”

I glanced at my watch, hoping to see that we had hours left. “Damn.” I muttered, shifting Candace’s weight off of my shoulder so I could look at her. “We should go. We have been her for hours.”

She grabbed my wrist to look at my watch as well. “Oh! It’s seven thirty.”

I nodded. “Time fly’s when you’re having fun.”

She helped me reload the picnic basket, and carried the blanket on our way back. My fingers itched to reach between us and grabbed her hand. I held the picnic basket in my right hand so even if I wanted to, my hand was full.

Candace looked over her shoulder at the park, her bottom lips jutting out a fraction of an inch.

“We can go back anytime you want. Well, you can. I’ve got to leave tomorrow. Maybe we’ll go there early tomorrow before I go. I think we could have another time like this.” I was babbling, trying to get the horrible memory of my mother out of my mind.

“I guess.”

We walked in silence for the half a mile back to Candace’s house. Julie just inside the door made an involuntary smile come across my face.

“How did it go?” She asked me before we were even over the threshold.

I smiled sweetly at her, not bothering to answer her.

Julie’s smile faded a little, but didn’t entirely disappear. “That’s good. That’s good. Candace, I think you should go wash up and get ready for tonight…”

I cleared my throat, warning her.

She looked up at me, and smiled, ashamed. “I got you a new outfit and want you to try it on. It’s on your bed.” She finished.

I grabbed Candace’s hand this time and led her up the stairs. I stopped in front of Candace’s bedroom door, not letting go of her hand. I leaned into her, kissed the top of her head, and sighed. I wanted to do so much more than kiss her hair.

“Happy birthday, Candace.”

She was frozen to the spot when I let her in the hallway to go into my bedroom. As soon as the door slammed shut, the cell phone in my pocket rang with enthusiasm. I looked sat the caller ID and scowled.

“Yeah?” I asked into the receiver.

Aiden voice came from the other end, seeming just as annoyed as I was. “You’re home?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. You can bring Candace over here right when the sun is no longer visible in the sky.”

“I know.”

“Alright.”

“Yep.”

Aiden and I hung up the phone at the same time. I cursed under my breath, staring out the window toward his house. I hated that he made Candace so much happier than I ever could. Why had she fallen in love with that thing? Wasn’t I good enough for her?

Apparently not.