Corruption

"Mike?" I whispered into the dark once more. I crept inside the room, closing the doors behind me with a quiet click. Going out onto the balcony, I saw Mike. He had his back to me, looking at the moon. His shirt was off, his bare chest gleaming in the moon light of the night. He was only wearing pajama pants, his bare feet perched on the stone cold ground.

He looked just like Aiden had on that one day I had told Aiden to trust his love for me, but Aiden was in the sun, not moonlight. Mike was breathing deeply, his chest moving in a steady beat. I walked towards him and put my hand on his back, remembering what I had done with Aiden

Mike jumped, not knowing I was there. When he saw me, his lips turned up in a smile. I saw him look me up and down before he said anything. "I gave you those." he gestured to my pajamas.

I copied Mike's actions, looking him up and down as well. "And I gave you those."

"You couldn't stay away long enough, could you?" Mike asked, puffing out his chest.

I didn't answer. I really couldn't stay away, but I wasn't going to tell him that.

I went to the railing and looked out. Mike had a view of the garden, small lights littered the trail's maze, lighting up the twists and turns through all the plants. I turned my back on the garden and hoisted myself up on the railing. I adjusted my body so I would be able to balance.

I watched Mike's movements, his body language. He was really fidgety, constantly moving something. I could tell he wanted to tell me something, to ask me something, but didn't know what. As I watched him closer, he bit the side of his lip, then I was sure he wanted to talk, he was just nervous.

I knew he wasn't going to be the first to bring up the topic he wanted to talk about, so I decided to try and figure out what it was he was thinking. "So, do you have any plans for the summer?"

Mike gave me a sideways glance. "No, not after I leave here."

"Me either. This summer is going to be pretty boring."

"Yeah."

"And next year we will be seniors. I can't believe we are almost there. We made it through eleven years of bossy teachers and bad school lunches." I laughed to lighten the mood, but it didn't work; he didn't even turn to look at me. He was still biting his lip, making me very anxious. I decided that it would be easier to just come right out and ask him. "Do you want to tell me something?"

Mike slowly turned to face me. He leaned on the railing with one arm, resting there. "Yes." I waited for more, but he stopped there. He didn't say anything else. He came a little closer to me, I could see that he had a serious look in his eyes. This was going to be a very serious conversation

"Are you going to tell me?" he asked.

I tried to rack my brain, thinking of what he was talking about. I had no idea what he meant. He didn't say anything else to explain himself either. I didn't know what to say to him. "I don't know…what you mean."

"About before." he said, solemnly.

Now I was the one who was getting nervous. Was it that personal that he was to nervous to asked me the question he really wanted to ask me? Mike extended his forearm toward me, showing it to me. I could see in the dim light of the moon, light, slightly raised pieces of skin on his arm. I remembered exactly where he had gotten those. Marissa had done that to him. He was unconscious at the time, so obviously didn't remember.

I remembered how he was lying on the ground, a pool of blood forming around his head. My hands felt like they were on fire when I touched Mike that night. All I could think about was he was going to be okay. Amy had tried before me to cure all of his injuries, but it hadn't seemed to do a thing. I don't know how exactly I did it, but I did. No one can believe he didn't at least turn into a vampire, I can. He wasn't meant to be one. He was meant to be human, always has been, always will be.

"How did I get these? Why did I get these?" I glanced at his face. His eyes were full of wonder. He had finally wanted to talk about that night, that night that everything went wrong; but I didn't. I didn't want him to get upset or angry with me.

I shifted on the railing, not answering his question.

He asked some more. "What did that woman want with you? And why you?"

I didn't answer those either. I wasn't ready to talk about it, and Mike knew that. He was so good about not asking me about it. I figured it was killing him inside not knowing. He nearly died that day, and he didn't even know why. I did. It was because of me. He was so miserable because of me. Mike came to Maine for me but his parents fought about it. His dad left him because of me. It was entirely my fault.

Mike grabbed my arm, swiveling me to look at him. "Please, Candace. I want to know, I need to know." He was pleading now. I couldn't resist him any longer.

I looked down at the garden and mumbled, "Marissa wanted the book."

"Why?"

I shifted again. This topic made me very uncomfortable. "Because it has powers."

"What kind of powers?"

"I am not sure. I only had them for a few minutes. They were really strong ones too." I shifted again, uncomfortable with this topic. "I loved it, the feel of them. The power and sense of self control it gave me, it was almost like a high." I hadn't told anyone that before. It just felt right to say.

"You had the powers?" Mike asked a little stunned.

"Yes, don't you remember?"

Mike shook his head.

"You mean, you didn't see me?" I was really surprised by this. A little disappointed as well. That was one of my shinning moments, I didn't have many of those, and he missed it!

"Yeah. Why? Were you hot?" he asked slyly.

Red spots flared on my cheeks. I didn't know what to say to that. Thankfully I didn't have to say anything. Mike asked another question, getting down the business again.

"Do you still have your powers?"

"No. They disappeared with the book. We burned it so no one can have them again." I thought for a moment, then added, "but if I did have them, they would only show when I truly needed them, when something bad was going to happen, maybe. That is what Addison said anyway. She said you need to be ready to have them."

Mike looked nervous again. He shifted where he was standing. He looked down at his scars as he spoke. "Why did she try to kill you?"

"Because she wanted the book and I wouldn't let her know where it was. She wanted me to tell her."

"And you didn't."

"No, I had people to protect.

Mike traced his fingers over the scars on his arm. "So why did I get these?"

"Marissa did that."

"Yeah, but why?"

I didn't want to answer that question. I was getting really upset just thinking about it, let alone talking about it. "Because of me." I whispered.

Mike sighed, frustrated. "So she did this to me so you would give her the book." I nodded. "But you wouldn't give it to her. That is why she kept hurting me. His voice was harsh, accusing. I knew he was starting to get angry with me. I flinched away from him, scared I was hurting him more than I thought.

I jumped down from the balcony and started to walk away, done with this conversation. I wouldn't say anymore, I couldn't. "I'm sorry Mike."

"I--" Mike began but I interrupted him. I didn't want to talk about this, I hated hearing all of things I had done wrong. It was bad enough seeing and hearing them in my own mind, but having Mike feeling the same way about me would have been so much worse.

"Mike..." Tears were running down my cheeks, making them glisten in the dim light. I turned around to look at him. "I am really sorry Mike. Maybe if I had called you back before...maybe if you hadn't had come here, things would have been different. Maybe so many people wouldn't have died, maybe more would have. I don't know." I choked on every word I said, trying to get it out.

I gulped in a lung full of air, trying to speak clearly. "I'm not blaming you, I blame myself. It is my fault I didn't call you back. You got worried, I get that. When you came here, it was my fault you got hurt, my fault you almost died. If you hadn't come for me, your parents wouldn't have gotten into a fight. Then your dad wouldn't have left.

"Everything is my fault. I hurt you way too much and I am sorry for that. Maybe I should have given the book to Marissa. Then she might not have hurt you so bad, I don't know. I will never know. Maybe I should have let Marissa kill me. Then everyone would have been happier than they are now. Everything would be back to normal and you would hurt so bad. Maybe I'll do it myself. Then there will be no more drama and everyone will be happy again." I finished, wiping my nose with the back of my hand.

When I said, 'Maybe I should have let Marissa kill me..." Mike jumped off the railing, hurt and anger on his face. He didn't come towards me as I talked. He stood there and waited for me to finish.

When I was done, I waited for him to say something, anything. Something in anger, in hurt, in happiness for all I care; it was better than the silence that was slowly surrounding us. What I didn't expect was for Mike to do what he did.

He cocked his head to one side, searching my face. I saw a single tear run off his cheek and onto the floor, making a very small splatter of hot, wet tears on the cement.

I stood there tears, still falling down my face. I watched Mike as he watched me. He too, was crying. I don't really know why, but for some reason I knew he wasn't going to say anything. He reached with one hand toward me, and then stopped. I turned on my heel and stormed off the balcony.

Mike's bedroom was still dark, making it a little hard to find the double doors. When I pulled on them, they were stuck. I grunted as I finally freed the doors and went into the hallway. I didn't bother to close the doors behind me. The doors didn't matter.

I ran down the hallway to my room and flung open the doors to my bedroom. I pushed them both too hard, making a loud bang on the wall as they swung back. I sat on my bed and wiped at my eyes. It didn't help much because tears spilled over my eyes again, making my cheeks, once again, wet.

I thought about what I had said to Mike. Everything I said was true, I had just never talked about it before. That is what I do. Bottle all of my emotion up until they explode on some unsuspecting person. It was never pretty, but it was always the truth, what I say. Well, always what I thought was the truth and what I felt.

Light was coming in from the hallway, making it possible for me to see the picture on my end table. I didn't close the doors to my bedroom either. I picked up the picture and examined it. I was so angry I almost ripped it to pieces.

I threw it in the direction of the front door. It slowly floated to the ground, landing face down. As I watched the picture fall, I saw someone in the doorway. I could only see their outline, but I knew who it was. It was Mike.

I turned away from the door, looking out the window. Aiden's house was visible, almost all of the lights on. Now I wished I had gone over to Aiden's house tonight. The bed shifted under some new weight. I didn't look away from the window. It wasn't that I was mad at Mike, I was just mad that he had asked those questions and I had become vulnerable right in front of him, telling him all of my thoughts and worries I had shielded from Aiden.

"Candace..." Mike said quietly.

I sniffled, wiping my nose again with the back of my hand.

"I'm sorry."

I shifted my body, facing my back to Mike. I was so mad and hurt by him, but I wanted him there, to feel him close. I just didn't want hi to see me like this.

"I just didn't know what to say." Mike pleaded with me.

After a moment of silence, the weighted shifted, then was lifted off the bed. I sighed relived, thinking he was finally going to leave. He walked around me and sat down, blocking my view of Aiden's house.

I looked down at my comforter, plucking at one of the loose strings. I was not going to look at him, nor speak to him, no matter what he said. I could hear Mike sigh. He knew I was angry, and I knew he was angry. It made the silence even more awkward.

"Candace..." he began again. He put his hand on my knee, but I pushed it off. He fiercely grabbed my chin, bringing it up to look at him. "This is not your fault." The tears came again, rolling down my cheeks. This surprised me because I didn't think I had any moisture left in me.

He let go of my chin, seeing the tears on my cheeks. He thought he brought them on, but it wasn't him; it was me. I looked into his eyes, trying to find out what he was thinking.. I could tell he really meant what he said, but that didn't help me much.

"Yes it is! I was the one that left you. I hurt you."

Mike put his hand on my knee again, this time I didn't shove it off. "No," It was Mike's turn to look down from me. "It's mine."

I just stared at him. What he had said didn't make any sense. "You aren't the one who did it. It was me. I was the one that started to like you, making it grow." Mike grabbed my hand, rubbing his thumb over the ring. "If I hadn't given you the ring, you wouldn't have known that I liked you. If you didn't know I liked you, you wouldn't be beating yourself up about it."

What Mike had said did make sense. The only problem was it didn't make me feel better; it made me feel worse. Mike was beating himself up inside just like I had been. "I'm sorry, Mike." I murmured.

"It isn't your…" Mike began. He sighed in frustration. "I forgive you."

I looked up at him, noticing he was looking at me, once again. I heard what he had said, and could tell me meant it, but that didn't matter. I knew he didn't believe I was to blame, but he was. I also knew that he wouldn't change his mind just as I wouldn't change mine.

I crawled up the bed and pulled the cover back. I buried myself underneath, sitting up in my bed. I turned to look at Mike, but he was gone from the side of the bed. He was in the middle of the room, going out the open door.

"Mike?" I called after him. He turned around to look at me with sad eyes. I patted the bed next to me, trying to tell him to join me. He smiled weakly at me, then turned around again.

The smile that had formed on my face, disappeared, only to be plastered back on once I realized what Mike was doing. He went over to the double doors, closing them quietly. The only light source now was the window behind me.

Mike climbed in next to me on the king size bed, scooting close to me. I smiled sweetly at him, only for him to return one.