Enough

The last twenty days had been a fog for Hailey Sanders. Twenty days felt like twenty months. This place wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. When the doctors told her that she would be admitted to Aurora Recovery, she could only picture a mental institution from a horror movie set in the 1950’s. She could picture the dimly lit hallways, she could hear the insane ramblings of the patients, but it was all her imagination.

Aurora Recovery wasn’t exactly summer camp, but it wasn’t what Hailey had pictured. She made a friend; a woman her age who had gone through similar trauma. They weren’t close friends, and Hailey didn’t see them having a drink at the bar, but it was still nice to have someone. She had no contact with anyone outside of the center and it only made this process harder.

When Hailey was informed that she had visitors, she wasn’t sure how to feel. She was excited, but then she felt ashamed. No one should see her like this; she had definitely seen better days.

She walked the hallway, following the orderly, her hands tucked into the pockets of her gray sweatpants. Her hazel eyes watched as the orderly swiped his badge and opened the door to the lobby. She gave him a tight-lipped smile as she slipped past him.

Hailey caught sight of her behemoth brother and the bubbly blonde next to him. Her heart hammered inside her chest and her palms became clammy. The door behind her latched shut, the click echoing through the lobby.

Matt and Val looked over to her. Hailey saw every muscle in her brother’s body tense. She heard Val suck in a sharp breath. There was a long pause between the three of them; they just stared at each other.

Matt stood from the couch and took quick strides towards her. In those short seconds, he took in every detail of her face. She had bruises on her otherwise flawless face; they were in various stages of healing. One was around her left eye, one on her jaw, and across her nose. There was a scab down the left corners of her top and bottom lip, forming a crescent moon shape. It must have been pretty deep if it still hadn’t healed in twenty days.

Matt gently grasped her cheeks, searching her eyes before he pulled her in for a warm, tight embrace. Only then did Hailey let out a breath. Tears pooled in her eyes as she felt relief wash over her.

For the first time in two years, Hailey wasn’t entirely alone.

“Hali,” Matt breathed as he pulled away. He couldn’t find the right words to say, so he kept things light, “it’s good to see you, kid.”

Val hugged her next, squeezing as tightly as she could. Hailey winced, but this was a welcomed pain. She had her brother and one of her best friends back. For the first time in a while, Hailey felt like she could make it through.

…

“For almost two years, Derek did a good job of alienating me from everyone.” Hailey explained as she and Matt walked the grounds of the recovery center. Val took the car to go get lunch, giving the siblings an opportunity to catch up.

Matt couldn’t deny that his blood was boiling every time he looked at his sister. The bruises she bore were a glaring reminder that he had failed as a brother. It wasn’t just her face either. He knew, by her off gait, that those bruises extended to the rest of her body. Still, he patiently listened to however much she was willing to profess.

“You saw him, Matt. He was fine in the beginning. We moved here to Colorado and he just…snapped. Maybe I should have noticed it sooner. Maybe I could have done something.”

Matt shook his head. “No, Hali, don’t do that. You did nothing wrong. None of this is your fault.”

“Yes, yes, it is. I always pushed him.”

Matt knew that her trauma was more than just physical. Hailey’s bruises would heal, but the real wounds were inflicted on her mind. They were deep and the scars would last a lifetime. He had to remind himself that this was normal. The transition would be slow, but he had no idea how to begin helping her.

Matt took a deep breath, exhaling sharply as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. He changed the subject. “So, we have all these great ideas for our next album. I can’t wait for you to hear them.”

Hailey’s eyes lit up. “Oh! That’s right; how was the tour?”

“It was amazing. We were sold out, but the best part was all the sights…and the food. Maybe you can come on the next one.”

Hailey faltered for a moment. The idea of going on tour with her brother and all their friends was exciting, but it wasn’t practical. Still, she smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe.”

“So,” she started as she tucked a chunk of hair behind her ear, “how is everybody?”

“They’re good. Still as crazy as ever. They miss you a lot.” Matt explained while they took a seat at a picnic table. Hailey placed her hands on the stained oak tabletop.

Matt could sense her hesitation, her silent questioning. He gave a smile, and even though it was forced, his famous dimples made their appearance.

“I didn’t tell them. I wasn’t sure how to approach the situation, so I just told them that things didn’t work out and that you were moving back home.”

Hailey frowned and tilted her head to the side. “That’s great and all, but I’m sure they’ll figure things out when they see me.”

Her brother grimaced, almost as if he had been reminded of the fact that she was a walking bruise. He hoped that she would be completely healed by the time she was released. However, it didn’t matter.

“No one is going to give a shit. They’ll just be happy to see you.”

Hailey pressed her lips into a thin line, her fingers tapping anxiously against the wood. “Yeah, except one.”

Matt reached forward and covered her hand with his, effectively stopping her nervous movements. He knew exactly who she was talking about.

“He’ll get over it. He’s still your best friend.”

“Maybe.” Hailey murmured. “We’ll see.”

Unfortunately, their time together quickly came to an end. Matt and Val had to run some errands, and Hailey had a group therapy session.

As Hailey walked back to her room, she couldn’t help but feel exhausted. The reality of the last two years of her life was hitting her like a freight train. She felt everything all at once. Shame, sadness, happiness because her family hadn’t bailed on her, and everything in between.

With a sigh, she collapsed onto her bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to process everything that just happened. She was so happy to see her brother, but she wished that it was under different circumstances. She didn’t want Matt to see her with cuts and bruises all over her face.

“Who were your visitors today? The guy was cute.” Courtney winked as she entered the room. Hailey shot a glance to her friend, grimacing at her words.

“Ew no, that was my brother and my future sister-in-law.” She chuckled, returning her gaze to the hideous popcorn ceiling.

Courtney smiled as she sat down on the foot of Hailey’s bed. “Well, word on the street is you only have ten days left. I’m really happy for you.”

“How much time do you have left?”

Courtney shrugged. “I don’t know. There’s a lot of talk about it. The popular opinion is ninety days.”

Hailey gave a sympathetic smile. Courtney was a sweet girl, but she often caused her own problems. Every time she got close to being released, she would dust up a bunch of problems to prolong her stay. Hailey’s theory was that Courtney did it because she had nowhere else to go.

Hailey let out a breath and rolled off her bed. She grabbed a clean shirt from her dresser and quickly changed into it, pulling on her favorite oversized black cardigan. She tossed her long hair into a messy bun atop her head and changed her socks. She settled for black fuzzy ones this time.

“I have to go to group, I’m sorry. But I promise you that everything is going to work out for you. You’ll get out of here in no time.”

Hailey offered Courtney a warm smile before she exited the room, heading for her group therapy session. Part of her felt guilty because she knew that Courtney was struggling, but she also knew that there wasn’t much she could do. Focusing on herself and getting out of here was her top priority. Maybe by showing that she could get out, Courtney would put in the added effort for herself.

“Ah, there she is.” Dr. Blake grinned from behind his glasses. Apparently, Hailey was the last one they were waiting for before they got started.

“Hi.” Hailey breathed as she sat down on one of the puffy chairs.

“Since you were the last one in, why don’t you tell us about your day?” Dr. Blake suggested as he grabbed his pen and notepad. To this day, Hailey was still curious about what exactly therapists wrote down. She made a mental note to ask him about it before she was released.

“Well,” Hailey started, pulling her knees up to her chest, “today was a good day. A really good day.”