Sound Effects and Overdramatics

I couldn't sit at home after taking Beth back to Ali's. I had too much adrenaline rushing through me. Being as it was Saturday, we weren't due at the studio, so I drove to Matt's and rang the doorbell, lighting a cigarette while I waited.

Matt opened the door, not completely surprised to see me. "What's up?"

"Just wanna hang."

"Sweet. I can kick your ass in Guitar Hero then."

I chuckled. For a game solely focused on the instrument, it was nothing like the real thing. I could never seem to get it right. I flicked my cigarette over the porch rail and followed him into the house and back to the game room.

He fired up the Xbox and I picked up one of the toy guitars. We both knew I wasn't there to play a shitty game with him, but it gave me something to focus on so I didn't start a full on fight with him.

I didn't so much as ask him as I stated something I was eighty percent sure of. "You're the one who picked up Jason from Ali's that night."

"Yeah, he called me."

"Care to explain?" I smashed buttons, trying to keep up.

Matt sighed. "I just wanted to talk to him. I needed some clarity."

"And?"

"And what?" He won the round and set the fake guitar aside. I sat down on the couch and took a cigarette out of the pack without lighting it.

"What about this morning?"

He sighed. I watched him for any of his usual signs of lying. But so far, he gave none. "We just hang out sometimes."

"Downtown?"

He nodded. I was pretty sure he was scared to admit the truth, especially to me. He'd been pining for me for years. The fact that he just up and went to Jason like it was no big deal didn't make sense.

"Where does Val think you are?"

He shrugged. "With you guys. We drive around. I take him to meet his dealer. We talk."

"If Beth finds out you're helping him get high, you're fucked." I told him. I finally lit my cigarette. It was the only room in the house Val allowed smoking anymore.

"So, why exactly did you start wailing on Ian this morning?"

"The guy's a prick. He cheated on Jason and got him arrested, but Jason isn't gonna turn him down."

"Did he turn you down?" I asked it quickly, cutting him off before he could keep spewing bullshit.

I knew Jason, and I knew Matt. If Matt asked him for it, especially in exchange for getting him drugs, Jason would say yes.

"We fucked. Once."

"Jason's a top." I blurted out without thinking. Matt smirked, tapping his finger against the top of his thigh. He lit his own cigarette and tossed the pack and the lighter down beside him, trying to feign casual.

"Jason's whatever he needs to be for whoever comes around."

I couldn't argue that. Jason was too much of a people pleaser. It went back to his addiction.

I wasn't sure what to say. When I came over to talk to him, I had a feeling this was where we were gonna end up. There was no other explanation for his behavior, especially the way he finally gave in about Beth.

After a considerable amount of silence, I said, "that still doesn't explain what happened this morning. I know Jason doesn't mean anything to you. I also know Jason only caters to the desperate."

"Personal experience?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. I didn't dignify the question with a response.

When he realized I wasn't going to budge, he sighed and leaned forward to flick his ashes. I did the same, watching him for signs of evasive maneuvers.

If there was one thing Matt loved to avoid, it was what happened between us, and everything having to do with it. It was supposed to have been swept under the rug, and if it weren't for Jason and his sister, it probably would have stayed that way.

Now, he couldn't hide.

"Like I said, we've been hanging out. Ian hurt him. Big time. Laurel isn't around. He doesn't wanna dump on you because he's your release. He's not strong enough to tell Ian no. I came over to talk to you and Laurel about what happened last night. When I heard them arguing, I jumped in without thinking about it."

I tried to think about it. Honestly, I did. It still didn't add up. Either he perfected the art of lying overnight or Jason found a way to get through to him.

All of it was just too weird.

"So what'd you tell him? Jason doesn't offer unless he knows you want it."

Again, he raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged and sucked down my cigarette, uncomfortable with the whole conversation.

It was a part of my life I didn't want my friends to know. Beth knew because after what happened two years ago, I wasn't going to lie to her anymore. Matt may have been involved the first time, but that didn't mean I wanted his interference now.

"He asked why it mattered so much that you were with Laurel, or him. I told him I wasn't sure anymore. Old habits. He did a line and asked if I was jealous. He already had his answer. He just wanted me to admit it. So I did and then he told me there was something I could do about it."

I piggybacked my cigarettes, lighting a fresh one with the cherry of the old one before putting it out. I had no reason to believe him, not until I talked to Jason. It wasn't that they had sex that bothered me, but the fact that Matt was taking a roundabout way to getting to the truth, which was that he wasn't sexually attracted to guys in general, but just me, because of our history.

There were too many specific details. He wasn't really known for over-exaggerating the truth. He was avoiding telling me something, because he still hadn't given me a legitimate reason for going after Ian the way he did, and whatever that reason was, had Jason right pissed at him.

I couldn't call him out on it without seeming jealous myself. I had come to terms with my relationship with Jason a long time ago. He had his own vices that I wasn't a part of, and he was around for mine. What Jason did with other people didn't concern me, even if that included Matt.

"What's the verdict then?" I finally asked after being silent for too long. "You're only jealous because I picked him over you? Or because Laurel accepts that part of me and Val never would?"

"Why did you pick him over me?" He dodged.

"I didn't have a choice." I grumbled. I stood, gripping a miniature basketball in my hands. There was a basket hanging on the wall. I threw it, but it only bounced off the backboard. Matt caught it, waiting for me to continue. "There was no stopping it. I didn't think about it. Not with Jason, and not with you."

"Why do you keep going back?" He tossed the ball to me. I squeezed it tight, trying to find an answer he would accept, even though he hadn't answered me.

"Jason doesn't have anything to lose."

The finality in my words echoed around the room. He couldn't look at me. I set the ball down and went to walk out, hesitating at the door to see if he would stop me, but he didn't. We both had a lot to think about. I wanted to go see Jason, but I was betting he was still with Monica, and I'd had enough of that shit show for the day, so.I just shot him a text and hoped he answered it soon.