‹ Prequel: Masterpiece Theater
Status: Sequel to Masterpiece Theater. Go back and read it if you haven't or you will be lost.
Sound Effects and Overdramatics
Nerves
I felt like I was back in high school, sitting at Brian's desk while he sat on the edge of his bed, a good five feet between us. The clothes he was wearing had to have been Zack's because the shirt was too tight, the shorts too short.
If he had asked, I would have gladly helped him out of them and into something more comfortable, which was exactly why we were sitting five feet apart.
"They made up." He pointed out, running a hand across the back of his head.
"Uh, I guess. I haven't really gotten the full story on that."
"Right." He pursed his lips, looked around, pulled an ashtray and lighter into his lap. He lit two cigarettes and offered me one. I had to stand up and walk over to him to take it but immediately sat back down in the chair. Being close to him wasn't a good idea, and he seemed to think the same thing.
"So you stayed in here last night?"
"Um…" I mumbled around the filter. I pulled the cigarette away and exhaled slowly. "On the couch. I can't sleep in here alone, Jason and Ian had the basement."
"Ian's the only guy Jason has actually brought home, isn't it?" He deflected.
I nodded. "Yeah, I think so. I mean, by the time he was finally out of the system, he was pretty upfront about his sexuality. He's bi, and he always brought girls home, but he'd rather be with men. My dad and I never had a problem with it, but I knew the men Jason saw were older and he didn't want our dad to know about the age difference. Bringing home girls was easier for him. Then we turned eighteen and he moved out and I married Finn." I explained all this without really looking at Brian. I picked at flaking nail polish on my finger, realizing just how long it'd been since I'd had a manicure, or stared at a slightly darker spot on the floor next to the bed. It took me a few seconds to realize that it was probably the remnants of a blood stain.
My blood.
"Beth, you okay?"
He'd stood up and knelt in front of me, placing his hand on top of my thigh. The weight of it brought me out of my thoughts.
"You never replaced the carpet." I pointed out, my voice far away. I moved around him and sat down on the floor, brushing my fingers over the spot.
"I just haven't gotten around to it."
He knelt down next to me and grabbed my hand, pulling my attention away from the memory.
"Why'd you do it?" He asked me, looking down at our fingers locked together.
I shrugged. "We were in love. We found out I was pregnant and he had the ring in his pocket before we told my dad. Dad wasn't old fashioned or anything. He wasn't really mad or surprised. Finn and I had been together for three years at that point. He gave us his blessing. The day after the wedding, I was in the hospital. Miscarriage. That first year, I had four in all. That's when the tests started. He blamed me."
He stretched his legs out and pulled me into him, cradling me against his chest as I fit into the V that his legs had made. I leaned my head back against his chest and closed my eyes, trying not to lose it.
I never really talked to him about Finn before. Ali knew, and I was pretty sure she had told Christian a lot, but no one had told Brian anything. It was supposed to have been my job, and I failed miserably at it.
The bloodstain on the carpet was proof enough of that.
"Hard to imagine him wanting kids." He mumbled.
"People don't understand," I said with a sigh. "He wasn't always a bad guy. He always wanted to be a cop, and he was a damn good one. We were happy, for a while, and sometimes in between, too. Him turning into an abusive asshole doesn't negate that."
He seemed to give that some thought. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I pulled myself up by the bed and sat down to light a cigarette.
He still didn't trust me, or maybe himself, because after he lit his, he sat in the desk chair.
The air was thick with the silence. Talking about Finn was the last thing I'd wanted to do, but we needed to start somewhere. Now, neither of us knew what else to say.
I finished my cigarette before him. After I put my butt out I stood and moved behind him, placing my arms around his shoulders. I kissed his cheek and he turned his head to kiss me on the lips.
My mouth parted open. He ended up pulling me around and into his lap as his tongue went exploring.
I straddled him, keeping my hands above his waist, barely, and on top of the shirt. When I made to pull away, he growled, grabbing onto my bottom lip with his teeth. I moaned against his lips, trying to find a shred of resistance inside myself.
With Ian downstairs with Jason, I knew the odds of being interrupted were next to zero. If I asked Brian to stop, I knew he would, as he always did, but I didn't want to.
Wanting to and needing to were two different things, though.
I forced myself to pull away and climb off of him on shaky legs. I couldn't sit, so I backed myself up, all the way against the door, and closed my eyes to catch my breath.
I heard him start to move himself closer with the chair.
"Stop," I breathed.
I heard him stand, and felt it as he crossed the distance, his body inches from mine. When I opened my eyes, he was staring at me with an intensity I hadn't seen since the first time we had sex.
"What are you afraid of?" He asked in a voice that wasn't his. It was dark, and hungry and so unlike him that I had to wonder what part of him I'd finally untapped.
I swallowed my anxiety and his eyes darted towards my throat. In that moment, I felt very much like prey.
It took me a couple tries to find my voice. "Same thing you are, Gates," I breathed, my voice calm but cold. His eyes stayed dark but grew wide with surprise. I'd never used his stage name before. "I'm afraid of what we are without it. So I'm gonna leave this room and walk away and we're gonna find out."
The only reason I was able to get out of the room was because he'd been surprised by my words. I hadn't believed them myself until I was on the other side of the door, breathing easier. I couldn't say what had gotten into him, but I wasn't sure I liked it.
Downstairs, Jason was dishing up plates of leftover Chinese food. Ian, ever vigilant, was seated at the counter, watching him with adoration and apprehension.
"You talk to Monica today?" I asked, if only to avoid him asking if everything was okay.
"No. She might have called. My phone's downstairs. Why?"
"What'd she say after we left yesterday?"
He shrugged and put a plate in the microwave. "Nothing we didn't already know. Why do you care?"
The coffee in the pot was stale and cold. I busied myself with it while I answered him, doing my best to ignore Ian. All around, he was a good fit for my brother, but the way he watched him now, and glared at me, made me think that he wasn't here just to be with Jason.
He was probably here making sure Jason wasn't going to be with Brian, or anyone else, and I had to admire him for his wishful thinking.
I wasn't even sure why I was sticking around except that I'd already told Jason I would. Leaving Brian in the mood that he was in probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, and if he came downstairs in that same mood, Jason wouldn't care that Ian was here.
A hunger like Brian's was too easy to feed and difficult to ignore, and I was beginning to understand on a deeper level why he needed both of us.
The microwave beeped and the first drops of fresh coffee hit the pot. Jason handed Ian a plate and me a mug, still waiting for my answer.
"I just wanna know how big of a problem she's going to be, if she's gonna be coming over, if you're gonna be spending time with her, that stuff."
"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it."
Brian stomped down the stairs. He followed our voices to the kitchen and seemed to change tactics when he realized Ian was still here. He came up behind me, kissed the back of my neck, and went for his own mug, leaving me to sit down next to Ian.
Jason and I shared a look and he sighed, pulling his own plate out of the microwave and leaning over it on the counter across from Ian.
Icing on the cake would have been if Matt had decided to come over.
If he had asked, I would have gladly helped him out of them and into something more comfortable, which was exactly why we were sitting five feet apart.
"They made up." He pointed out, running a hand across the back of his head.
"Uh, I guess. I haven't really gotten the full story on that."
"Right." He pursed his lips, looked around, pulled an ashtray and lighter into his lap. He lit two cigarettes and offered me one. I had to stand up and walk over to him to take it but immediately sat back down in the chair. Being close to him wasn't a good idea, and he seemed to think the same thing.
"So you stayed in here last night?"
"Um…" I mumbled around the filter. I pulled the cigarette away and exhaled slowly. "On the couch. I can't sleep in here alone, Jason and Ian had the basement."
"Ian's the only guy Jason has actually brought home, isn't it?" He deflected.
I nodded. "Yeah, I think so. I mean, by the time he was finally out of the system, he was pretty upfront about his sexuality. He's bi, and he always brought girls home, but he'd rather be with men. My dad and I never had a problem with it, but I knew the men Jason saw were older and he didn't want our dad to know about the age difference. Bringing home girls was easier for him. Then we turned eighteen and he moved out and I married Finn." I explained all this without really looking at Brian. I picked at flaking nail polish on my finger, realizing just how long it'd been since I'd had a manicure, or stared at a slightly darker spot on the floor next to the bed. It took me a few seconds to realize that it was probably the remnants of a blood stain.
My blood.
"Beth, you okay?"
He'd stood up and knelt in front of me, placing his hand on top of my thigh. The weight of it brought me out of my thoughts.
"You never replaced the carpet." I pointed out, my voice far away. I moved around him and sat down on the floor, brushing my fingers over the spot.
"I just haven't gotten around to it."
He knelt down next to me and grabbed my hand, pulling my attention away from the memory.
"Why'd you do it?" He asked me, looking down at our fingers locked together.
I shrugged. "We were in love. We found out I was pregnant and he had the ring in his pocket before we told my dad. Dad wasn't old fashioned or anything. He wasn't really mad or surprised. Finn and I had been together for three years at that point. He gave us his blessing. The day after the wedding, I was in the hospital. Miscarriage. That first year, I had four in all. That's when the tests started. He blamed me."
He stretched his legs out and pulled me into him, cradling me against his chest as I fit into the V that his legs had made. I leaned my head back against his chest and closed my eyes, trying not to lose it.
I never really talked to him about Finn before. Ali knew, and I was pretty sure she had told Christian a lot, but no one had told Brian anything. It was supposed to have been my job, and I failed miserably at it.
The bloodstain on the carpet was proof enough of that.
"Hard to imagine him wanting kids." He mumbled.
"People don't understand," I said with a sigh. "He wasn't always a bad guy. He always wanted to be a cop, and he was a damn good one. We were happy, for a while, and sometimes in between, too. Him turning into an abusive asshole doesn't negate that."
He seemed to give that some thought. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I pulled myself up by the bed and sat down to light a cigarette.
He still didn't trust me, or maybe himself, because after he lit his, he sat in the desk chair.
The air was thick with the silence. Talking about Finn was the last thing I'd wanted to do, but we needed to start somewhere. Now, neither of us knew what else to say.
I finished my cigarette before him. After I put my butt out I stood and moved behind him, placing my arms around his shoulders. I kissed his cheek and he turned his head to kiss me on the lips.
My mouth parted open. He ended up pulling me around and into his lap as his tongue went exploring.
I straddled him, keeping my hands above his waist, barely, and on top of the shirt. When I made to pull away, he growled, grabbing onto my bottom lip with his teeth. I moaned against his lips, trying to find a shred of resistance inside myself.
With Ian downstairs with Jason, I knew the odds of being interrupted were next to zero. If I asked Brian to stop, I knew he would, as he always did, but I didn't want to.
Wanting to and needing to were two different things, though.
I forced myself to pull away and climb off of him on shaky legs. I couldn't sit, so I backed myself up, all the way against the door, and closed my eyes to catch my breath.
I heard him start to move himself closer with the chair.
"Stop," I breathed.
I heard him stand, and felt it as he crossed the distance, his body inches from mine. When I opened my eyes, he was staring at me with an intensity I hadn't seen since the first time we had sex.
"What are you afraid of?" He asked in a voice that wasn't his. It was dark, and hungry and so unlike him that I had to wonder what part of him I'd finally untapped.
I swallowed my anxiety and his eyes darted towards my throat. In that moment, I felt very much like prey.
It took me a couple tries to find my voice. "Same thing you are, Gates," I breathed, my voice calm but cold. His eyes stayed dark but grew wide with surprise. I'd never used his stage name before. "I'm afraid of what we are without it. So I'm gonna leave this room and walk away and we're gonna find out."
The only reason I was able to get out of the room was because he'd been surprised by my words. I hadn't believed them myself until I was on the other side of the door, breathing easier. I couldn't say what had gotten into him, but I wasn't sure I liked it.
Downstairs, Jason was dishing up plates of leftover Chinese food. Ian, ever vigilant, was seated at the counter, watching him with adoration and apprehension.
"You talk to Monica today?" I asked, if only to avoid him asking if everything was okay.
"No. She might have called. My phone's downstairs. Why?"
"What'd she say after we left yesterday?"
He shrugged and put a plate in the microwave. "Nothing we didn't already know. Why do you care?"
The coffee in the pot was stale and cold. I busied myself with it while I answered him, doing my best to ignore Ian. All around, he was a good fit for my brother, but the way he watched him now, and glared at me, made me think that he wasn't here just to be with Jason.
He was probably here making sure Jason wasn't going to be with Brian, or anyone else, and I had to admire him for his wishful thinking.
I wasn't even sure why I was sticking around except that I'd already told Jason I would. Leaving Brian in the mood that he was in probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, and if he came downstairs in that same mood, Jason wouldn't care that Ian was here.
A hunger like Brian's was too easy to feed and difficult to ignore, and I was beginning to understand on a deeper level why he needed both of us.
The microwave beeped and the first drops of fresh coffee hit the pot. Jason handed Ian a plate and me a mug, still waiting for my answer.
"I just wanna know how big of a problem she's going to be, if she's gonna be coming over, if you're gonna be spending time with her, that stuff."
"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it."
Brian stomped down the stairs. He followed our voices to the kitchen and seemed to change tactics when he realized Ian was still here. He came up behind me, kissed the back of my neck, and went for his own mug, leaving me to sit down next to Ian.
Jason and I shared a look and he sighed, pulling his own plate out of the microwave and leaning over it on the counter across from Ian.
Icing on the cake would have been if Matt had decided to come over.