Sound Effects and Overdramatics

Beth didn't follow Brian downstairs. She didn't stick round, either, or tell us where she was going, but I knew my sister pretty damn well.

She was going to the gym and then going to get her nails done. After that, hopefully she would come back. Realistically, she was probably going back to Ali's.

Her and Brian had a lot of shit to shovel through. Putting a hold on the sex was probably the best thing for them to do.

The look in his eyes when he saw Ian said more about how he felt about me than it did her.

He didn't like Ian. Not a damn bit.

Back in my room, I did a line. My phone was still downstairs somewhere buried in a mess of sheets and clothes. If Brian heard it ring enough, he'd just shut it off. I wasn't really worried about clients today.

Ian came up behind me, hooking his arms under mine and kissing the base of my neck. He pressed his body close, seeking more of what we had just done.

I pulled away from him. "You should get back to Gage."

"Why?"

I snorted and shook my head, doing another bump. I'd be good for tonight and tomorrow morning, but I would need to go out tomorrow night for some more. Of course, that all depended on Ian, and for that matter, Brian.

"You left me for him, remember? You kicked me out."

"You cheated on me with Brian. You don't have a lot of room to talk."

"I know I don't." I turned and leaned against the dresser, crossing my arms and ankles in front of me. He moved back to sit on the corner of the bed.

"The difference is, I don't have anyone waiting for me to come home. You do."

"You did." He pouted. My heart ached for him. Honestly, it did, but the damage had already been done. I couldn't get sober for him again. Even if I did, it wouldn't guarantee that I wouldn't come back for Brian.

My place had always been here.

I started getting dressed without saying anything to him. He seemed to get the point, because he started getting dressed, too.

When I opened the door, my face was almost met with Brian's fist. The only thing that kept them from colliding was me stepping back a couple inches on reflex.

"What's up?"

He flung my phone at me. I caught it against my chest. It wasn't ringing, and I only had three missed calls, and no messages.

"Your fucking mother just lectured me for the last thirty goddamn minutes because neither one of her kids is answering their phone. Somehow, that's my fault. How the fuck did she get my number, anyway?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. It's Monica. Probably from the same people she's having follow us. What the fuck could you possibly talk to her for half an hour about?"

He reeked of cigarette smoke, like he'd just spent the last few hours in a burning tobacco field. My eyes were actually stinging and I had to push past him to get some fresh air. Ian followed at our heels.

"I didn't talk. Not much, anyway. She just kept going on and on about how my rock star status was corrupting her kids and if I wanted better for both of you, I'd tell both of you to leave and not come back."

Ian snorted. I looked over my shoulder to glare at him before continuing my raid of the fridge. Someone needed to do a grocery run, not that anything was appetizing right now anyway. I closed the door and opted for a glass of water.

The only person who'd ever pointed out my eating disorder was begging me to go back home with him, and it was just another reason for me not to go. It as easy to avoid food and explain away your lack of appetite when you were on drugs.

I wondered if it was one of the things Monica had managed to dig up on me.

If I managed to find a fuck to give, I'd ask her.

"Did she say why she suddenly cared?" I asked after I drained my glass. I filled it up again and watched him.

"Hell, man, I don't know. According to her, I'm not good enough for her emotionally damaged, drug addict son, so I'm sure as fuck not good enough for her golden achiever daughter, who could do so much more with her life, if I just got out of her way."

He didn't care that Ian was next to him. It wasn't because he was trying to make Ian jealous, either. He was just stating facts, or rather, my mother's low opinion of him. He wasn't just stressed, but defeated.

I wasn't sure how many more rounds he could go with my sister before he just gave up. Arguing with Monica definitely wasn't helping.

The thing was, Monica wasn't completely wrong. It wasn't Brian who had gotten in Laurel's way, but Finn. If they hadn't gotten married, she would have gone on to art school. She would have been taking pictures of people like Christian instead of putting makeup on them.

Ten years was a long time to put off your ambitions and goals. Now, no one knew what was going on inside her head. She didn't really have a plan when she moved back. I doubted that she even knew what her next move was.

Ian moved behind me and locked his arms around my waist and then kissed the back of my neck. I put my hand on top of his in acknowledgment but kept talking to Brian, ignoring that Ian was trying to pull my attention away from him.

"I'll deal with Monica tomorrow while I'm out. See if I can get her to back off. I gotta be in that area anyway."

Brian nodded. He watched Ian carefully, not out of jealousy, but protectiveness. The amount of PDA Ian was showing wasn't because he was jealous of Brian. At least, it wasn't the whole reason. Ian was naturally affectionate.

I wasn't, and Brian knew this. He'd never actually seen Ian and I together before in any large capacity. He knew how much it bothered me.

"You wanna come with me to Johnny's? We're all gonna grab some drinks, play some pool. Bring massive hangovers into the studio in the morning." He was offering me an out.

I had no problem with any of Brian's friends. They were all pretty welcoming, given the circumstances. A night of pool and booze seemed like the perfect ending to the shit show of a weekend, but I wasn't going to be that big of an asshole to Ian.

He deserved more.

I shook my head and pulled away from Ian to put my glass in the dishwasher, and for good measure, I started loading the rest of the dirty dishes. It kept Ian from getting too close again and it needed to be done anyway. My odd inclination for domesticity was a big reason why Brian never questioned my living with him. Someone had to clean the house, and he wasn't always around.

"I'm just gonna stay in tonight."

He didn't want to leave me alone with Ian. He didn't want me to get arrested again.

He nodded anyway. "Alright. I'll check in later then." I nodded even though I wasn't facing him. He left out the back door.

Ian let me finish up the dishes in peace, but as soon as I had the dishwasher closed, he had me pushed against the counter with a kiss.

I barely kissed him back and put my hands up against his chest to keep space between us. "You need to go." I told him simply.

"Why? So you can be here when he comes stumbling through the door drunk off his ass?"

"Brian has nothing to do with us, Ian. He never did."

"Bullshit. He has everything to do with us. If he hadn't come along, we would still be together."

"You so sure? How long were you cheating on me with Gage?"

"Just a couple weeks, way after you and Brian hooked up again."

I didn't believe him, but I didn't have proof to the contrary. I pulled the garbage bag out of the can and put in a new one, trying to gather my thoughts.

"You still kicked me out, though. Instead of wanting to work on it, you ended it. You told me to come here, remember? I'm not sorry that I'm here for Brian when he needs me. That will probably always be the case. You can't accept that or understand it, so there's no reason for you to still be here."

"I was wrong." He admitted. "I'm sorry."

"Me too, but it isn't enough. I'm not gonna be like him and my sister, or my sister and Finn. I'm not gonna trick myself into believing that love is enough to keep a relationship going when everything else is falling apart."

His face looked like I just shot his puppy. Part of me wanted to comfort him, but I knew it was better to just let him go. I didn't have the energy to keep trying to make it work.

So, I let him go. He left with his tail tucked between his legs and I spent the rest of my night alone doing massive amounts of laundry.