Sound Effects and Overdramatics

“He didn’t even recognize me.” I ranted. I paced the hotel suite, smoke curling from my lips. I hadn’t smoked since I moved to London, but the minute I saw Brian smoking a Marlboro, I wanted one. On the way to the hotel, I asked the driver to stop so I could pick up a couple packs for myself.

And a bottle of vodka.

I lifted the bottle to my lips and crushed my cigarette in the ashtray, only to light another one. Jason-my wonderfully sober and no longer blond twin-chuckled at me. He was laying on his stomach diagonal across one of the king sized beds, a pillow tucked under his chest.

“You don’t exactly look like you, sis. Of course he didn’t. And he’s distracted. He’s seen hundreds of people by now. You probably barely even blipped his register.”

“Thanks.” I snapped. I exhaled smoke towards the ceiling and stopped, only to plop down on the bed on my back. I rolled my head to face him, his green eyes meeting my fake hazel ones.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Always.”

“Have you...have you seen him? Since I’ve been gone?”

I asked, but I didn’t want to know the answer. When Brian admitted what he and my brother had done, I thought I would be pissed, or jealous, or hurt. I didn’t talk to either one of them about it, not really. It wasn’t that I ignored it, I just wasn’t sure how to feel about it. I still didn’t. On a level, I understood. My brother could be everyone’s flavor when given the right incentive. It was how he coped.

I couldn’t be the one to judge Brian on how he decided to cope with things, but if I had to choose between accepting that he sometimes slept with my brother or accepting that he was still sleeping with Matt, I’d take the former.

I didn’t hate my brother.

It just didn’t seem all that strange to me, but then, my life was a fucking shit show to begin with.

He answered as I brought the cigarette back to my lips. “He came by the other day.”

“And?”

“He wanted to talk to you. I told him I hadn’t heard from you since you left Chicago.”

“Jason…” I breathed, racked with guilt. I promised him I wouldn’t abandon him again, and I did just that. I left him to fend for himself. Regardless of the reason, it wasn’t right, and I was surprised to find out how well he was actually doing without me.

My being gone was a double-edged sword for him. If Ian hadn’t been there, I probably wouldn’t have been laying next to him to begin with.

“It’s okay, Laurel. I get it.”

Hearing my name come out of his mouth caused me to tense up. I sat up on an exhale and reached for the bottle of vodka, taking a long pull from it. “Don’t call me that.” I growled, wiping my mouth with a grimace. I took another drink. “It’s Beth now.”

Jason sat up and wrapped his arms around my shoulders in a comforting hug. “If that’s what you want, okay, but you’ll always be Laurel to me. What happened to you doesn’t change that.”

I smiled and kissed his cheek.

“What should I do?”

“You still love him, right?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then go to the funeral. Tell him who you are. He needs you.”

“He needs you, too.” I told him. He shrugged it off and climbed off the bed.

“I’ll be around.”

The door opened and Kai walked in carrying bags of In ‘N Out. He kicked the door shut behind him and I jumped up to help him carry everything.

Jason laid a couple towels out on the bed and we passed food around. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten. Normally, it didn’t bother me, but being a jumble of nerves and running on nicotine and vodka wasn’t really doing me any favors.

I tore into a burger, inhaling half of it without actually tasting it and washing it down with soda before digging into my fries. Of all the things I missed about California, In ‘N Out Burger was definitely my top five.

“Hungry?” Jason asked.

“Starving.”

Jason chuckled and reached over for some of my fries. I held the carton up and away from him, which only resulted in them spilling everywhere. He shoved a handful of them in his mouth to declare victory. I rolled my eyes. There were plenty more in the bag; I hadn’t been skimpy when I made a list for Kai. Even as Jason fought me for more of mine, instead of his own, I was taking the lid off my vanilla shake and dunking fries into it.

“Damn, Beth.” Kai pointed out as I started on the second half of my burger. “I thought my cock was the only thing you were gonna choke on tonight.”

At that, I coughed up the bite I had only half-swallowed, actually choking on it. Jason roared with laughter and handed me a drink. I sucked it down graciously, glaring at Kai.

“Don’t take it personal, Kai.” Jason started, looking at me to make sure I was okay. “There are two foods you absolutely cannot get her near without her wanting to devour the entire menu if she hasn’t had it in a while. In ‘N Out and Geno’s.”

“Oh, Geno’s.” I pouted, hand over my heart. Nothing was left in Chicago for me except the best pizza this side of the Atlantic.

Kai took a seat next to me on the bed and dug into his own food. Anytime we were together, he made sure I ate before starting on his own. He didn’t care if I ate a lot, but he wanted to make sure there was something in my system. According to him, I spent too much time around people who didn’t eat and their habits rubbed off on me.

I didn’t tell him that my lack of food intake had started years before.

Jason's phone rang as I was finishing up my fries, shaking out the carton directly into my mouth. He looked at the caller ID and then at me, panicked.

"It's Brian."

I shrugged. "Do what you gotta do."

"You'll be okay?"

I nodded and slurped the rest of my root beer. “Kai is here. I'll be fine."

He nodded, gave me a tight hug, and walked out of the room. I really wasn't expecting him to come back.

No longer hungry, I set my food aside and lit a cigarette. Kai watched me as he ate, his eyes following me as I did another lap around the suite with the bottle of vodka in my hand.

“Should I be worried?” He asked me. I shook my head, tilting the bottle up.

“It’s fine. Jason isn’t going to tell him. He won’t do my dirty work for me.”

“And what dirty work would that be?” He asked. I didn’t answer. I lifted the bottle to my lips again and took a long swig. The alcohol burned going down, but it was helping me not think about what Brian wanted with Jason.

Kai cleared off the bed, putting leftover food back in the bags and throwing trash away. He held out his arms and I sat, snuggling into him.

"You don't have to tell me, Beth. I just want you to be safe.” He whispered, kissing my cheek.

"It's not that I don't want to, Kai. I just don't know how, or if I should, or where to start."

"I'm here for you. Whatever you need." He promised. I leaned back and turned my head to look at him. His lips were soft as he pressed them against mine. He made to pull away, but I stopped him, flicking my tongue into his mouth.

His body shifted. He held the kiss as he stood to lay me back onto the bed and knelt over me, his hands moving down so he could undo the button on my jacket and push it over my shoulders.

I climbed further onto the bed as I shrugged it off before running my fingers through his tight coils of hair. His hands smoothed over my knees and my thighs, sliding under them to cup my ass. I leaned into him, kissing him harder. He pushed me into the pillows and moved his mouth along my jaw and my neck, his fingers working to pull down my panties.

Kai was simple. He didn’t want anything from me and he didn’t push my boundaries or buttons. He didn’t know a lot about me, and didn’t ask many questions. It wasn’t that he didn’t care; he just knew I didn’t like talking about my life. I knew that he’d asked Christian and Ali, but they were pretty hush-hush, per my request. All he really knew about me was from the last two years. I made it clear that my past was pretty off limits.

He, on the other hand, could talk endlessly about anything I asked him, and I’d met several members of his family and a few of his other girlfriends, most of whom were pretty great, if not overly-friendly, people. He was full of life and energy and was someone I desperately needed when I moved.

A fresh start.

And as I drowned in a sea of vodka and sex and a man who wanted nothing from me except friendship, I couldn't help but wonder who else Brian was going to bed with besides my brother.