Sound Effects and Overdramatics

The guys and I raced across the beach, boards in hand. We were hitting the surf after a long day of recording. Beth was in a job interview and then she was going to see Jason before coming to the house for a late dinner.

I smashed into the water and dunked myself through a wave break. We all paddled out at different speeds and waited. Johnny was the first to catch one, diving off his board before hitting sand and paddling back out.

"She still sick?" Zack asked me. I dragged my fingers through the water, becoming more relaxed by the second.

"She said she was feeling better this morning. I think she's going to the doctor tomorrow."

"She eat something bad?"

"I don't think so. I think it's just the stress. It's her fourth interview this week, and she's been going to see her brother everyday."

"Have you gone to see him?" He asked. I turned my head to look at him. His stare didn't waver and I didn't need to be a genius to figure out what he was asking.

"Are you kidding? His mother won't let me past the door. No way in hell would I be able to right now."

"And?"

"And what, man?"

Matt hit a wave, making it all the way through the tunnel before easing onto the bank and coming back around.

"Does it bother you?"

"That his mother is a homophobic bitch? Yes."

"Not what I asked."

I sighed. The truth was, I was itching to get my hands back on Jason. I needed to, only because I needed the distraction from everything Beth wasn't telling me. I needed to feel the bite of ropes on my skin and the burning wax on my chest, and a few other things besides.

With Jason on the sober train, it was a no-go. I had to deal.

"A little, yeah, but it's no biggie." I muttered. I was up next, so before Zack could call me on my bullshit, I turned on my board and paddled, standing at the perfect moment, keeping my arms out for balance.

Wind whipped my hair around as I got sprayed in the face by mist. I rocked with my board as I coasted along the Crest of the wave, making it out of the tunnel before it collapsed. I did like Johnny and dove into the water before hitting the sand. Zack had already gone after his wave.

"You talk to Michelle since you've been back?" Matt asked me.

"Not really. I called her yesterday. We only talked for a few minutes though." I answered, turning my back to the waves so I could face him and Johnny.

"I heard her and Val talking on the porch last night."

"And?" If he was bringing it up, it meant that he wanted me to know that they were talking about me, or more likely, Beth.

"Could she be pregnant?"

"C'mon man. She can't have kids. You know that."

"Doesn't mean she can't get pregnant, dumbass." This from Johnny. I whisked my hand across the surface of the water and splashed him in the face.

Zack paddled over. Being on the water, just talking, was just as therapeutic as actually getting the waves, even more so because there was no longer a standing tension between me and Matt.

"Gena kinda thinks the same thing." He added. "Has she ever said why?"

I shrugged. "She said it started before Finn started beating her. Something medical."

"You think she would tell you if you asked?"

"No." I answered honestly.

After everything we had gone through, letting me down again would be the last thing she wanted. She would keep a pregnancy from me, and a miscarriage. I hated that I believed that, but she would believe she was doing it to avoid me getting hurt.

Maybe some part of her believed I'd react the way Finn did. Even though she knew I'd never lay a hand on her, some things stayed with you. I couldn't fault her on it, but I didn't have to be okay with it.

"Maybe ask her and see what she says." Johnny suggested.

I nodded, but wasn't sure if it was a good idea. I risked upsetting her or being lied to, neither of which were ideal situations. We still hadn't gotten around to the subject of my proposing to her. We probably wouldn't, either. At least for a while. Once things settled down.

If they ever did.

By the time we got out of the water, the sun was starting to set. I toweled off by the Jeep, Zacky doing the same on the other side. My phone was ringing in the cup holder when I got in.

"Yeah?" I asked as I turned the key in the ignition. Zack lit a cigarette and I peeled out, clutching the phone between my ear and shoulder.

"Is that how you answer the phone for everyone?"

I braked hard at a red light, causing Zack to reach out to the dashboard to keep from slamming into it. I gestured for a cigarette and he lit one off of his, handing it over without a word.

"Monica..." I grumbled, giving Zack a side look. "What can I do for you?"

"Find my son."

"I'm sorry?"

"He's missing. Again. I can only assume he's with you or my daughter."

"Beth has been downtown all day. I've been working. I thought you had a security guard?"

"Yes, well, it seems that Jason has made a habit of climbing out windows. I will give you the benefit of the doubt, Mr. Haner, but my son better be here by eight AM tomorrow." She hung up. I put my phone back in the cup holder.

For one night, I didn't want to have to worry about Jason or what he was doing.

Or who.

He was a grown man. He made his choices. Everyone else just seemed to be paying the price.

Zack, smartly, kept his mouth shut as I sped through traffic back to the house.

Sure enough, Jason was on the porch, pacing in front of the door, even though it wasn't locked.

"You want me to hang?" Zack asked, assessing the situation.

"Might as well. Beth will be here soon."

Reluctantly, I got out of the car and walked up the steps. "What are you doing here, man?" I asked. His eyes darted towards Zack and he moved away so Zack could reach the door. He waited until Zack was inside to speak.

"I can't do it, Gates. Being in that house, away from my sister, away from the drugs, with her. I can't do it. I don't wanna go to jail man, but fuck. What the fuck am I supposed to do? I can't stay there."

"You're already high."

He didn't answer. I shook my head and guided him into the house. "Order some pizza." I told Zack before guiding Jason to his room.

"Jason, man, I can't help you here. Your sister is gonna be here soon. She's gonna know you're high. Your mother already called me. If you don't get your ass back there, she's probably gonna have you arrested."

He snorted and stripped off his shirt before laying back on the bed. "Let her. I'd rather rot in prison." The tone of his voice told me not to argue. It rang with finality.

I couldn't blame the guy for wanting to spend his last moments of freedom somewhere he felt safe.

I shot a text to Beth telling her not to bother going to Monica's because he was here.

"Ian hates me." He grumbled. "I fucked up. What's worse is I already told him I didn't wanna stop."

"Damn it, Jason." I mumbled, because I really had nothing to say in that department.

"Why do you think I do it?" His eyes were closed, his breathing even, but all of his focus was on me.

"Hell, I don't know."

"Come on, Gates. My fucking you is the reason why me and him broke up. So, why do you think I do it?"

There was a question I hadn't thought about. I didn't want to.

When I didn't answer, he sat up, bringing his face perfectly level with my waist line, and what was perking up right below it.

"Laurel doesn't know how bad it was in Chicago. Sleeping with you keeps me in check. She knows she isn't enough, and you can't ask her to be without feeling guilty. Everyone wins." As he spoke, he was pulling my shorts down. I didn't have an argument, so I didn't try.

My phone went off and it went ignored. Jason had gotten his hands around me and I wasn't in a position to tell him no.