Oh No, Aliens

“We lock everything down at night and don’t go outside, cause we’ve had a few of those four legged alien wang things sniffing around.”

Hadley choked on the coffee she’d been drinking as Connor and Jesse caught her up to speed with what had been happening around town in her absence.

“Alien wangs?” she repeated, amused. Connor shrugged, setting aside the dish he’d been cleaning.

“They look kinda like penises with legs, don’t you think?”

“Is that going to be the next installment of the Alien franchise? Predator vs. Alien Dong?” She nudged him as he cackled.

“We keep the goats and the chickens locked up in the barn too, though the uh...”wangs,” don’t seem all that interested in them. They’re more likely to attack people,” Jesse said. “Which I guess you know, since that boy you brought home got bit by one.”

“I didn’t ‘bring him home,’ I just...brought him with me. When I came home.”

“Oh come on, Hads. We’re sixteen, we know what repressed sexual attraction looks like.”

“You most certainly do not and I am not experiencing that. At all,” Hadley said loudly. “Go wash your mouths out with soap, you rotten little worms.”

She chased them out of the kitchen while they both howled with laughter. Jack passed them on the stairs as they ran up, and that just made them laugh even harder.

“Knock it off!” Hadley yelled after them. Jack raised his eyebrows questioningly but Hadley just shook her head.

“Just teenager stuff,” she said. “We were cleaning up after breakfast. Want some coffee?”

“Sure. I could’ve helped with the clean up, you know. You guys are letting me stay here so I should pull my weight.”

“You’re on light duty for now,” Hadley said, handing him a mug. “Give it another two days, then you can go out and help collect eggs and plant corn.”

“You really want me here for another two days?”

Hadley sighed. “We’ve been over this, Jack. You’re staying here until the alien thing is straightened out. If you try to argue with me one more time, I’m going to whoop your butt and lock you in that room.”

“I just don’t to be a bother-“

Hadley took a menacing step toward him and he held his hands up, laughing. “Okay, okay. No more arguing. You win.”

Hadley tapped her fingertips against her coffee mug, trying to sort out her thoughts. Her lips had been tingly since Jack kissed her the night before, but she hadn’t figured out the words to address these decidedly not-hate feelings she was having.

“Hey, someone is here,” Jesse called from the other room. “It’s Tommy!”

Hadley abandoned her coffee and ran to the front door. Tommy was the fourth Parker child, the one who’d come along just before Hadley; and he was the sibling she’d always been closest to. He was stirring across the lawn, looking dapper in his Air Force uniform. Hadley leaped off the porch and ran to him, nearly knocking him down with the force of her hug.

“Hads!” he said delightedly. “You made it!”

“How did you get here?” she asked in amazement. “You were in Houston, weren’t you?”

“Yeah, and I have to go back.”

“Go back? Are you nuts?”

“A little, but that’s not the point.” He grinned.

The rest of the family joined them, and they had to move like a weird, cumbersome animal back to the house as everyone hugged him and peppered him with questions. Jack was lurking in the doorway, looking awkward again. Tommy cocked his head.

“Wait, do we have another sibling I forgot about?”

Hadley rolled her eyes. “Tommy, this is Jack. He helped me get out of New York.”

“Is that so?” Tommy smiled and slugged Jack playfully on the shoulder. “Good man.”

“Jack, this is Tommy. My other brother.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“All right, now tell me why you plan on going back to Houston when it’s infested with aliens,” Hadley demanded.

“You’re going back?” Jo looked alarmed. “You just got here!”

“People, people, please.” Tommy gestured for everyone to calm down. “I have to go back, because a few very smart people and a few badasses have put together a plan to get rid of the aliens. I, as one of the badasses in question, am obligated to return and do my duty.”

“Humble as always,” Mary Beth muttered, rolling her eyes.

“You know how to kill them?” Hadley asked, leaning forward eagerly.

“I don’t know all the exact specifics, but we’ve got some fancy scientists over in Houston; from NASA. Now, we have managed to shoot down a few of the smaller ships that fly around the cities but they’re fast, and more always come to replace them. There was an attempt to shoot down a bigger ship that’s controlling the others. But it’s got a shield around it. The talking heads up in Washington are going back and forth about whether or not to nuke the thing out of the sky. Which we’re pretty sure won’t work anyhow. But the big brains I’m working with, they think the main ship controls the smaller ones. So if we can destroy it, we can stop all the other ships. But we need to get inside the big one to do it.”

“You’re going to sneak on board the mother ship?” Hadley’s eyes widened.

“That’s exactly right, little sis.”

“How?”

He flashed another grin. “We got a hold of the smaller ships that we blasted out of the air. They were damaged, obviously, but not too badly. We got all but one working again. And we’re going to use them to fly up and get close, then the computer geeks are working on a way to temporarily disable the shields. Once they have it, we’re gonna blow them to hell.”

“That sounds dangerous,” Jo said.

“We’re gonna have to fly fast,” Tommy agreed. “And then we’ll still have the space wolves to deal with. They seem to be controlled by something that comes from the ship, a sound wave or something. We think they’re gonna go absolutely rabid once the ship is destroyed. They’re also working on a way to put out a similar frequency that will bring them all to the same general area so we can try to take them out easier rather than having them attacking people all over the place. We’ve been in contact with some other military units, across the States and abroad. They’re gonna synchronize the signal, and we’re gonna have people on the ground to deal with them while the pilots are flying back down.”

“I want in,” Hadley blurted. “I’m going with you.”

“You’re what?” Jo exclaimed.

“Hadley,” Tommy said, “I wasn’t coming here to recruit my family.”

“Don’t care. I’m going. You’re going to need all the help you can get with this, and you know I’m a great shot.”

“Hadley-“

“I’m not sitting here while you go off into battle to fight these monsters,” Hadley insisted, stubborn. “I want to help.”

“Uh oh,” Daniel remarked. “She’s got her mule face on.”

“I’m going too,” Jack blurted. “I mean, if Hadley is going, then so am I.”

Tommy gave him a skeptical look. “Do you even know how to handle a gun?”

“Point the part with the hole at the thing you wanna shoot and pull the trigger,” Jack muttered and Tommy laughed.

“It’s a bit more complicated than that but I appreciate your enthusiasm,” he said.

“Jack might be able to help,” Hadley said. “He has an alien chip. It was in the car his company gave him when we left New York.”

“A chip? Why was it in the car?”

“My ex-boss, he apparently has something to do with the aliens,” Jack explained. “I don’t know what, exactly. He was using technology of theirs somehow. He told me about it and that’s about the time I realized he was batsh-ah, bat guano crazy. And I got the, uh, heck out of there.”

Hadley swallowed a snicker at his careful censorship in front of the kids and her parents.

“But the bites from the prowlers are poisonous,” Jack went on. “And the chip, it draws the poison out.”

“Very interesting,” Tommy said. “The geek squad will definitely want to take a look at that.”

“And he did survive a prowler attack,” Hadley added, pointing to his arm.

“All right, all right. If you vouch for him, he can come.”

There was some flurry of activity as Jo fussed over all three of them, trying to talk them out of going. But the decision was made. Everyone else would stay home to protect the farm and the town; Hadley and Jack were accompanying Tommy back to Houston in the morning. They were going to meet up with an Air Force buddy of Tommy’s who was going to get them safely back into the city.

“Brand probably won’t be too thrilled that I picked up a pair of rookie alien hunters, but I guess he’ll have to deal with it,” Tommy said. Hadley went to say good night to Jack, so filled with nerves and excitement that she could barely hold still.

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” she told him. “I mean, you don’t need to feel obligated to go anywhere with me.”

“We’ve gotten through this much,” Jack replied. “If you’re going to fight aliens, I’m going to fight aliens.”

Hadley smiled slightly, hugging him tightly before she lost her nerve. When she pulled away, she leaned up and kissed him gently. He looked a little unfocused when she stepped back.

“Good night,” she murmured.

“Good night.”

She went back to her own room and tried in vain to sleep. She had to pack a bag all over again to head out with Tommy in the early morning. Jack looked as keyed up as she felt when he came downstairs.

“We’ll take good care of Hershey,” Jo said, embracing Jack to cry all over him after she’d cried all over Tommy and Hadley. “You come back safe, hear me? All of you. Don’t you boys let anything happen to Hadley, and Hadley; you keep them in line.”

“Yes, ma’am. We’ll be back in no time,” Tommy said. A few more teary goodbye hugs and the three of them climbed into the car Tommy had driven in, and set out to meet his friend, Lieutenant Brandon Kettler.

“Brand is gonna love this,” Tommy chuckled to himself. Hadley couldn’t stop bouncing her leg in anticipation. She couldn’t believe there was actually a way to put an end to all of this. Tommy eventually turned off onto a narrow dirt road and stopped next to a Jeep. Tommy climbed out of the car and went to greet the man leaning up against the Jeep. The man’s voice floated through the open window.

“Who are the civs you brought along?”

“Fella named Jack, and my sister Hadley. They’ve volunteered to help with the war effort, so to speak.”

“Is that so?” Brand looked unimpressed. Hadley hopped out of the car and Jack scrambled after her. Brand’s annoyance melted away and he gave Hadley a dimpled smile. He looked like the star of a spy movie, with perfect teeth, wavy black hair, and baby blue eyes. And he wasted no time switching on the charm alarm.

“So you’re the famous little sister Hadley,” he said. “Tommy talks about you a lot, but failed to mention that you’re prettier than the sky in June.”

Hadley barely managed not to smirk and roll her eyes. Tommy just heaved a sigh.

“Come on, Brand. I’m standing right here, don’t hit on my sister.”

“Sorry, Tom.” Brand didn’t look apologetic in the least. Beside her, Jack had a weird look on his face; like he’d swallowed a gulp of vinegar. Brand barely glanced at him before he started talking to Tommy about their game plan. Hadley stayed close to Jack, only half listening. She was scanning the surrounding fields and noticed movement. Her hand dropped to the holster at her waist; Tommy had made sure to come prepared for trouble. No more fussing around with tasers.

“We’re supposed to entrust our lives to that guy?” Jack was muttering under his breath. Hadley was about to call a warning when one of the prowlers came charging out of the wheat, bounding toward them at terrifying speed. Hadley fired, hitting in the shoulder. It slowed slightly, but kept coming; fangs bared. Tommy made a move as if to pull her out of the way but she dodged him, eyes on the prowler.

“Come on,” she said. “Come on, you son of a bitch.”

It leaped, almost upon her. Hadley fired again, and this time the bullet went through its head. Blood and gooey brain matter splattered the dirt and the prowler fell dead less than a foot away. Hadley’s heart thudded as she lowered the gun. There were a few moments of silence as they recovered.

“Well,” Brand said. “That settles it. I think I’m in love.”

Tommy rolled his eyes and shoved him. “Stop.”

“Let’s go, there might be more,” Hadley said, trying to roll the tension out of her shoulders. Brand got behind the wheel, Tommy rode shotgun, shooting her a proud, beaming smile as he swung into the Jeep. Hadley climbed into the backseat with Jack. He reached out and touched her hand, which was trembling a little.

“You okay?” he whispered. Hadley nodded.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“That was pretty badass, Miss Parker.”

Hadley cracked a smile, curling her fingers around his when he started to pull away.

“Now we just need to do it about a thousand more times,” she laughed softly.