Curses and Cream Puffs

It was a busy couple of weeks. Lena went on the road with Damien, traveling to several different villages and towns to investigate witchcraft reports. The first accusation they investigated turned out to be a bitter family feud because one woman’s husband had slept with her sister and so she accused her sister of being a witch and using an enchantment to seduce him. The husband in question was with his sister-in-law when Lena and Damien arrived, and the irate wife appeared not long after looking for him. Damien had to physically restrain her and keep the two women apart as they nearly came to blows.

“She’s not a witch,” Lena said over their shrieking. “A fairly terrible person, but there’s no magic going on here. Just good old fashioned lust and lack of self control.”

The two women continued slapping and scratching at each other, and when the wife wrenched free of Damien’s grip and threw a punch at her husband he finally turned the whole situation over to the town’s sheriff to deal with. Lena couldn’t suppress her laughter as they left the house. Damien looked disgruntled, his hair and uniform tousled from the kerfuffle.

“Unbelievable,” he muttered, scowling and trying to straighten himself out. “What a waste of time.”

Lena snickered. “I can’t believe she tried to bite you.”

They visited the homes of an elderly widow who was a witch but so frail she could barely use magic anymore, a young blacksmith who was just remarkably talented at his job, and a newlywed couple who were both witches and were already preparing to flee town and settle down somewhere else.

Mortecombe was the last name on the list, and there was a large price on their head. Or rather, their heads; Lena finally remembered where she’d heard the name Mortecombe before when they walked into a seedy tavern in a seedy part of the largest town they had visited so far.

“Oh, no,” Lena sighed. “The Mortecombes. Of course. They’re a family of witches but they deal in the mundane kind of unsavory.” She coughed at the smoke and smell of ale inside. The two of them drew a lot of attention, causing much of the conversation inside the tavern to cease.

“Oksana Mortecombe owns this...establishment?” Damien asked the bartender. The man was massive, with hands the size of small hams. Lena hovered off to the side, lurking in a shadowed corner and clutching the little basket she carried Duchess around in. The hare had woken from her nap and was peeking out curiously.

“I don’t tell nobody nothin’ unless you’re a paying customer.” He looked Damien over, spotting the emblem on his shirt. He kept cleaning the mug he was holding. “Hunters pay double. We know you can afford it and you’re clearly dumb as rocks to walk in here.”

Damien slapped several gold coins on the counter. “I want to speak with Oksana,” he said firmly.

“No need to get angry, handsome.” A woman came slinking out of the back, dressed in a form fitting black dress. Her blonde hair fell across her face, partially obscuring one of her gray eyes. Lena sighed. If they were dealing with a Mortecombe, they’d have to fight their way out of here. Whoever had reported her in the first place either had a death wish or really was dumb as rocks.

“What does a big important hunter want with little old me?” Oksana cocked her head, pouting slightly.

“We have reason to suspect that you’re a witch,” Damien said. Oksana placed a hand over her heart.

“Me, a witch? I’m just a simple businesswoman. Why don’t I have Brutus here fix you a drink and we can talk this out?” Oksana batter her lashes and placed a hand on his arm. It occurred to Lena that she probably should have warned Damien that Oksana’s specialty was hypnosis and seduction magic. She grimaced as his expression started growing unfocused. Great. That’s just the kind of fine mess she needed on her hands. Oksana hadn’t even glanced her way yet and Lena was mildly offended.

The blonde witch kept her hand on Damien’s arm and steered him to the bar. She leaned close and murmured something to him that Lena couldn’t hear. Noise and chatter had resumed, though everyone was clearly watching Oksana and Damien to see what happened next. Oksana picked up his hand and ran a finger along his palm, pretending to read his future. Lena rolled her eyes.

“Duchess, you’re going to see some things that I’m not sure you’re ready for but I’ve got to get us out of this mess before that woman unhinges her jaw and bites Damien’s head off.” Lena marched out of her corner, trying her best to look dignified.

“Of all the cheap lines,” she said. “Surely you can do better than palm reading.”

Oksana’s eyes flashed. “Well, what a bold little witch you are.“

“Came in with the hunter,” Brutus said and Oksana looked at her with some interest now.

“A witch working with a hunter? How deliciously intriguing. Sorry I have to steal your little love toy, but I can’t have hunters sniffing around and driving me out of business. Although, this one is cute. Maybe I’ll keep him around for a while.” She reached over to ruffle Damien’s hair. He still had a look on his face like he didn’t know where he was.

“He is not my love toy, that’s disgusting. And he’s not going to be yours either.”

“Oh no?” Oksana laughed. “You dare to challenge me? You and what army, precious? That little bunny?”

“She’s a hare.” Lena normally used her magic to its minimum ability but now she reached down deeper. Oksana was powerful and Lena was going to have to use more than enchanted pasties to get them out of this. Oksana seemed to sense the shift and her eyes narrowed.

“You can let him go, or I can burn this place down,” Lena said. Oksana laughed again, too confident in her own ability to consider Lena a threat. Well. That was her mistake then. Lena grabbed hold of her magic and let it surge up. Her fingertips tingled and sparked. Then Oksana was knocked off her stool and flew across the room. She got to her feet and pounced at Lena with a shriek of rage.

“Do you have any idea how expensive this dress was?” She sent a blast of energy Lena’s way but she threw up a shield to block it.

“It’s hardly my fault if you spent too much money on that hideous dress,” Lena replied. She set Duchess’s basket next to Damien. Oksana bore down on her, trying to force her magic past Lena’s shield. Lena shoved outward, and the shimmering wall of magic knocked Oksana back again. She seemed startled at the display of control. Lena was used to being underestimated. It came in handy sometimes.

“Lift the enchantment you put on Damien,” Lena said.

Lift it yourself.” Oksana glanced over Lena’s shoulder and Lena barely had time to duck before Brutus’s giant hand wrapped around her from behind. She spun away and her shield dropped. Oksana came at her hard, lashing her with magic that felt like tiny knives on her skin. Lena flinched, flinging her hands up to shatter the little bolts of energy. She could feel a couple of cuts on her face and beads of blood welled up on her hands.

As Oksana came at her again, Lena summoned the fire out of a lantern behind the bar, catching the fire in her palm and turning it into a giant blazing inferno. She held a tower of flames in her hand. Then she flung it upward and set the tavern ablaze. Chaos ensued and she grabbed Duchess and hauled a dazed Damien outside and away from the smoke and heat. He still seemed out of it and Lena cursed. Oksana’s spells were stronger than she thought.

“Damien? Hello, are you in there?” Lena smacked his cheek lightly. “Gonna need you to focus. Damien.” She smacked him again, but he just looked at her blankly. Lena heaved a sigh.

“All right. Please don’t read into what I’m about to do. I’m just trying to snap you out of it. Then we never speak of it again.” Lena summoned up a tiny spark of magic, caught his face in her hands, and pressed her lips against his. When she let him go he stumbled back a step, blinking like a startled owl.

“Where-is the tavern on fire?”

“Yes.”

“How’d we get out here?”

“Long story.”

“Just now, did you...were you...”

“Look can we please just get out of here? If we stick around Oksana might come looking for us.”

“Oh, Oksana will be on the run already. She’ll set up shop someplace else.” A man eased out of the shadows at her back and Lena gasped as he grabbed her before she could even turn around, and held a knife blade against her neck. “But there‘s always a reward to be had for bringing in a witch.”

Damien drew his sword, all traces of Oksana’s enchantment seemingly gone now. “Let her go. Now.”

“Easy, friend. We can cut a deal. I won’t turn you in for consorting with a witch, and in return you can make sure I get a pretty penny for her pretty hide.”

“I said, let her go.”

“Don’t be an idiot. You can find yourself another squeeze.”

“I’m not asking you again.”

The man seemed unsure about the hard time in Damien’s voice, and Lena took advantage of the distraction to stomp on his toe. He yelped and she ducked away. Damien stepped forward and the man tried to run. Damien jabbed his sword, catching the man’s cloak on the blade and jerking him back. The man went sprawling on the ground.

“She’s just a witch,” the man said, half nervous and half angry. “She’s only worth something dead.”

“You know, I’m getting really tired of hearing you talk.” Damien struck him across the head with his hilt and the man toppled over, unconscious. Lena crept forward and placed her hand on his head. She didn’t normally condone memory erasing and it was a difficult piece of magic to work. But she wanted him waking up from his abrupt nap with no recollection of the witch who’d burned down a tavern or the hunter she’d been with. She made sure to pull his hair as she drew her hand away.

She stood and brushed leaves and soot off her skirt. “Well. This has been a fun evening but maybe we’d better get the hell out of here.”