Nerdy and the Beast

“This is the stupidest I’ve ever looked.”

Liam Bardot appraised his reflection with disdain, adjusting the collar of his fine coat. His long blond hair was tied back and he was wearing a crisp white shirt under the coat. It was the most expensive outfit he’d ever worn but he felt like a pompous stuffed shirt. But then again, that was entirely the point.

“I think you look just adorable,” crooned a voice that made his shoulders tense. He glared into the mirror as a female figure slinked up behind him. Natasha smirked, her jet black hair falling forward to cover one cat-green eye. She knew he hated her popping in on him, and she also knew there was nothing he could do about it.

“No one gives a fuck what you look like, as long as you pull this off.”

Natasha stepped back slightly as Kamon Salvatore followed her into the room, a slight sneer on his face as he looked Liam up and down. Kamon ruled the seedy underworld of Mistgrove; he was commonly referred to as the Viper King, because of the menacing snake tattoo that covered his entire left arm, and because of his tendency to unexpectedly lash out and murder people. He was also the reason that Liam was currently trussed up like a holiday turkey to pose as a wealthy explorer.

Liam was a nobody; an orphaned drifter who had spent the last nine years of his life playing errand boy for the most ruthless man in the city; possibly on the entire continent. And now that man wanted him to steal from a museum in exchange for clearing part of his debts.

“I can pull it off,” Liam said, shoving his hands in his pockets as they curled into fists.

“Yes, I trust that it shouldn’t be hard for our resident genius to rob a museum,” Kamon snickered. “Time to put your money where your mouth is, Bardot, and really show us all what you’re made of. Fuck it up, and we’ll all literally see what you’re made of when I slit you open and hang your guts out for the crows.”

“You’re quite a poet, Viper. You can really paint a picture.”

“I’ll paint your face with my fist if you don’t watch your pretty mouth, Bardot. Now get moving before you’re late. Don’t want to keep that crusty fossil at the museum waiting.”

Liam gave Natasha and Kamon both a wide berth as he left and strode out of the slums and into nicer and nicer parts of the city. When he reached the museum and went inside, he found a wiry young man with unfortunately thick glasses at the front counter. The man looked at him a little warily.

“May I help you, sir?”

“I’m here to see the museum curator,” Liam replied.

“For what purpose? The curator is quite busy, perhaps I can be of assist-“

“Is it your usual policy to waste potential investor’s time, or are you just new here?” Liam asked, making his voice as authoritative and rich investor-sounding as possible and giving the man a cold blue stare. The man’s face went scarlet and he practically tripped over himself coming out from behind the counter.

“Oh, Mr. Bardot!” he exclaimed. “I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t expect...well, right this way please.” The man hurried ahead of him and Liam followed. They wound up in a room full of art pieces.

“Emma, the investor is here.”

“What? Harry, you should’ve come and gotten me first!”

Liam looked up to see a woman standing rather precariously on a ladder above him, where she had apparently been dusting off the frame of a rather large painting. She looked down and startled when she saw him, losing her balance altogether and toppling off the ladder. She gasped and the nervous man; Harry, apparently; let out an alarmed yelp. Liam caught the woman as she fell, and she blinked at him rather dazedly.

“Quite an impressive catch,” she said.

“Quite an impressive fall,” he replied. “Are you the curator?”

“I-yes, yes I am. You’re...the investor?”

“Right now I’m the rescuer, it would seem.” Liam set her down and she hastily smoothed out her blouse.

“You’re not what I...it’s just that most of the investors who come here are stuffy old men and you’re...not that.”

“Thank you.” Liam clasped his hands behind his back, trying to reconfigure his strategy. He had also been expecting an old man, not a flustered young woman. But maybe that could work in his favor.

“I’m terribly sorry for the mess,” the woman said. “I’m Emma Cunningham. I just took over as curator. Mr. Hawkins retired.”

“I see.”

“I hope you’re still considering investing, Mr...”

“Oh, of course. Bardot. Liam Bardot, at your service.” Liam offered her a handshake and felt her trembling slightly. So she was nervous. That could also work in his favor.

“Mr. Bardot,” Emma said. “I hope this hasn’t frightened you away. This museum really is wonderful and wouldn’t be a waste of your time.”

“I’ve faced more frightening things than a falling woman and lived to tell the tale, Miss Cunningham.”

“Please, call me Emma.”

“Only if you’ll call me Liam. Perhaps you can give me a tour of your establishment?”

“Of course. Come with me. Harry, please tidy up in here.” The tips of her ears were red as she led Liam into another room. She chattered away about every single artifact inside and Liam half listened while also memorizing the layout of the museum.

“Ah, you have pottery from ancient Vidriosa,” he remarked as they entered another exhibit. “This must have been quite a find, since half the Isles are sunk beneath the ocean.”

“Yes, we’re very proud of those pieces,” Emma replied, seeming pleased. “If you don’t mind my asking, Mr.-ah, Liam; what drew you to the museum? Like I said, you’re not exactly like the other investors who come through here. You could be investing in ships or new technologies.”

“I have a fondness for history.” Liam turned his gaze from the pottery collection to her and she looked nervous again. “I’ve built my fortune on being adventurous. A museum seems like the ideal place to invest my money.”

“You actually conduct exploration?” Emma asked, looking thoughtful. “I hope I’m not being too forward, but there may be a better way that you can invest in the museum besides just giving us some money for upkeep.”

“Oh?” Liam arched an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.

“There’s a site, it’s very hard to get to. Lawrence was planning an expedition there several years ago, but then he experienced some health problems and it fell through. The site was originally discovered about thirty years ago, but only one member of the expedition team made it back and they were half crazed with hunger and dehydration by the time they made it back. No one else has been willing to make the attempt again, but the wealth of treasures and artifacts that are there would make this museum world famous.”

“You’re referring to the Ruins of Cantaciras,” Liam realized. “The well preserved ancient temple that no one knows who built or why, and where the pirate Pierre Furieuse allegedly hid the incredible wealth he obtained after several decades robbing on the high seas.”

“That’s the one,” Emma said, looking both impressed and excited. “For a long time no one was even sure if the place existed, but now there’s ample proof that it does. It could be invaluable to the museum, if you were willing to finance an expedition to go there. And you could come along, since you have experience in these matters.”

Liam wanted to say no but he mulled it over. He had only been planning to steal the museum’s current crown jewel; a literal crown that had miraculously survived a devastating series of natural disasters that wiped out nearly the entire population of a northern island. The rare gems it was inlaid with should be enough to secure his freedom. But if they found this treasure, it would be worth far more than the crown. And in another lifetime when he’d been a child, the idea of exploring distant lands had been his cherished dream.

“I’ll consider it,” he said finally. “I need to think it over.”

“Of course. Take all the time you need.”

They concluded the tour and Liam made a note of where the crown was and where all the exits in the building were, just in case he opted to stick to his original plan.

“I’m very glad you came,” Emma told him at the door. “Thank you for considering becoming an investor.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow with my decision.”

Liam returned to the Sin Sector, as this part of town was generally referred to. He went straight to Kamon and presented Emma’s offer.

“You could choose who you want to come along as a crew,” Liam finished. “You have plenty of merchants and dock workers in your pocket who would have to put up the ship for the voyage.”

“The Furieuse Bounty.” Kamon leaned back in his chair, a greedy light in his eyes. Pierre Furieuse was a legend among thieves and robbers, and the man had pillaged enough treasure and gold to make ten men rich as kings.

“This expedition could be your ticket to making your crime ring a full blown empire,” Liam said. “You could buy and sell anyone in this city with that kind of money, and I’m willing to make those arrangements. And when it’s done, I want to walk out of this city a free man, with a few coins in my pocket.”

Kamon considered for a long time; a tactic Liam knew he liked to use to make people squirm.

“I’ll take that offer, Bardot. I’ll secure Neptune’s Fortune from that fat idiot Horace Whippol. He owes me for all his gambling debt. But I’m coming along to keep an eye on you, and if this little venture fails, I own you for life. Or I’ll tie you to the anchor and drop you in the ocean. Whichever I’m in the mood for at the time.”

It would be a gamble; if this went south he could kiss freedom goodbye. But if it worked...he’d finally be out from under Kamon’s boot. Forever. Free from the Sin Sector, free from Natasha, free from his troubled past. It was a risk he had to take.

“It’s a deal, Viper.”

The next day Liam returned to the museum. “No ladders today?” he asked Emma. She flushed.

“No, today I was aware that an investor was coming.” She shot a quick and pointed glance at Harry, who seemed to wither slightly with embarrassment.

“I’ve made my decision,” Liam said. Emma looked like she was trying not to appear too eager.

“I’m in the process now of obtaining a ship called Neptune’s Fortune. Pack your bags, it’s a long journey to Cantaciras.”