Someone Lost, Something Gained

Niall waits on the pavement with David Barkie as Veda climbs the stairs to her neighbour’s brownstone. Mister Nadir watches her approach with no expression on his face. She remembers when that was intimidating; now, it’s just Iman Nadir.

“Good morning, Mister Nadir. Uh, I normally wouldn’t bother you about this, but… could you maybe watch over my place today? It isn’t your responsibility, I know, and I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”

The man dips his chin succinctly. “Of course, Miss Mitchell. Your grandfather was an asset to this community.”

“Oh. Uh, thank you. I’m sure he’da been tickled to hear that.”

“What would you like me to do if anyone shows up?”

Veda rattles off her number, waiting until he sets his phone down to thank him with heartbreaking sincerity. She isn’t as close to the Nadirs as she is with the Costas, but she has grown to love Iman and Huda nonetheless.

She has just turned to leave when he says her name quietly. Veda stops on the second step, pivoting to face Mister Nadir once more. He gestures with his chin towards where Niall waits.

“Is that boy going to be around often?”

Veda glances back at Niall, who waves before saying something to David Barkie. Turning back to Mister Nadir, she doesn’t even try to hide her smile.

“I… I hope so.” She shrugs. “He’s got a cute dog, and I’m a sucker for cute dogs.”

Mister Nadir’s laughter follows her down the steps, and Niall cocks his head when she joins him. All Veda can do is shake her head in response. This is something she is going to keep to herself. At least, for a little while.

“So. Question. How are you going to take DB on the subway? Pets aren’t allowed, and I highly doubt you’re the type to fake a disability for special treatment.”

Niall scoffs. “Of course I’m not. The trick, love, is confidence. Just watch and learn.”

True to his word, no one bothers giving him a second look once they’re on the subway, even when the dog yips at someone who’s gotten too close. Veda stays close to Niall’s side during the stop-and-go. She hopes that by being with him, being obvious about the fact that they’re here together, the weird guy a few feet away will stop leering at her. It doesn’t quite work, but at least he stays in his seat.

“So,” Niall starts, breaking her from her uncomfortable attempts at avoiding eye contact with the creep. “There’s something I don’t understand about the last video.”

“What’s that?”

“What the fuck does ‘sharp as a spoon’ mean? Spoons aren’t exactly sharp.”

Veda laughs, shakes her head. “That’s the point. You can stab someone with a spoon, and it won’t cause damage like a fork or knife will. It takes a lot of force, effort, to hurt someone with a spoon as you would with a knife. ‘Stay sharp as a spoon’ was Granddad’s way of saying don’t be so callous as to hurt anybody, but if you need to, use a damned knife.”

“That’s…an interesting way of passing on that lesson,” Niall chuckles.

“Granddad had a very interesting method of teaching.”

It shouldn’t affect her as much as it does to watch him walking away once they reach St Francis. Veda frowns as he disappears in the crowd. Granddad would adore Niall and David Barkie, there is no doubt in her mind about it. But she can’t stop fearing that this connection is only due to her loss. That it will end when Niall realises they have nothing in common except for that fateful flight.

Would he have spoken to her in the airport if she had kept herself more composed? Hell, if Patrice hadn’t called the night of Ellie’s wedding, Veda wouldn’t have even been in LAX until two days later. She and Niall might not have ever met if not for the worst event of her life.

Veda struggles for a minute to figure out why the thought chills her to the bone.

Shaking her head, she pushes herself toward the doors, smiling at the patients and families in the waiting rooms. Nurses and doctors shove past her as if she isn’t even there, but Veda doesn’t take it personally - they’re under the stresses of working against the clock. Plus, the doctors tend to generally be jerks to everyone.

Veda shoves her bag into her locker, grabbing her lip balm from the side pocket, and shuts the door. She checks the time then opens up her messages, hoping that Ellie isn’t too busy.

To: Ellie
< I’m so sorry for not telling you sooner, but Granddad passed.

To her surprise, Ellie responds within the minute.

From: Ellie
> OMG! Do you need me? Are you okay?
> Wait, what do you mean ‘sooner’?

To: Ellie
< It happened shortly after I got home…

From: Ellie
> Oh no!!! Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve been there for you, V.

To: Ellie
< You JUST got married, El. I didn’t want your honeymoon to be cut short. Speaking of: How was it?

From: Ellie
> You are the literal worst at changing subjects. Are. You. Okay?

To: Ellie
< Yeah, I think so. It’s kinda rough still, getting used to the silence. But I haven’t talked to any of the bloodline except Hattie since the fifth so… Bonus, right???
< Now tell me about the honeymoon! Better have gotten some amazing photos!
< And not tit pics - I saw those enough in high school

From: Ellie
> I have a feeling you’re supposed to be starting work, sooo… I’ll send loads of pictures tonight, and you can explain the clerical work thing. But V, promise me that you haven’t been alone this whole time.

To: Ellie
< I’ll call after work, I promise.

Veda sends a message to Hattie, checking up on her, then shoves her phone into her pocket. There’s work to do, and she can’t spend all day in the locker-room texting her best friend. Clarissa passes over a few clipboards the second Veda shows up at the desk.

“Busy already?”

Clarissa sighs. “It wouldn’t be so bad, but Jan got food poisoning, Angela and Dwight didn’t bother showing at all, and Lyle broke his damn glasses. He’ll be in, just late. So yeah, you can say it’s been busy.”

“Okay. How many patients still need to be logged?”

“Fifteen in Emergency, one on Ped.”

Veda skims through the three files in her arms. “Give me Ped and four EDs.”

“You sure? Alex and Li agreed to come in a bit early, so -”

“Well, I’m here now. Use me, Boss Lady.”

Clarissa rolls her eyes but passes over the requested files with a relief-drenched “Thank you.” Veda gives a sloppy salute and organises the paperwork by arrival time. No point in keeping people waiting even longer to be pestered for their insurance information. Once she’s ready, she gets started.

It’s second nature by now to slip quietly slip into a room and get the information necessary and be gone before the patient really registers what’s happened. Veda might as well be a ghost, a figment of their imagination as she cuts through half her pile of clipboards. No one yells at her for doing her job - for once.

She understands when a patient takes their fears out on her, but she definitely prefers when they don’t. Veda does her best to make their time around her as pleasant and painless as possible. It doesn’t often work.

“Why can’t you give me the pills? You’re a nurse, aren’t you?”

Veda stifles her sigh. “No, sir. I’m not. I’m a registrar with the hospital. My job is to get your insurance so we can bill them instead of you. So please, I’m going to ask again. Can you give me the name and policy number of your health insurance?”

“Not until I get my damn pills!”

“I’m not allowed to do that, sir. I’m sorry.”

The man grabs the nearest item available - his pillow - and throws it at her. Or, in her general direction. Soft, fluffy projectiles rarely make the best weapons. Veda blinks down at the pillow as it slides across the floor, coming to a stop nearly three feet from where she stands. Biting back her frustration, Veda nods succinctly, tells the man a nurse will be in soon, and she’ll come back when he’s less upset.

“Hey, Nadia? Guy in 315C -”

Nadia sighs and pushes her ponytail back over her shoulder as she continues filling out a form. “Is a giant pain in the ass who comes in every two weeks like clockwork demanding pain medication, though none of the barrage of tests and bloodwork we’ve done has given any indication that he’s actually in pain? Yeah, I know. Ramirez will deal with him, since he won’t listen to women.”

“So what should I do?”

“Do what everyone else does,” sighs Nadia, dropping her pen into her breast pocket. “Put down that he has no insurance then move on. Flier ain’t had insurance since the Bush years.”

“Has anyone helped him get on, like, Medicaid?”

“Look, Veda, this isn’t a case of no one reaching out a helping hand to a poor soul in need. Nearly everyone here has jumped through hoops for him. Medicaid, resources for addiction, the numbers for a dozen different rehabs and NA groups. We’ve tried. But we are all too overworked, too underpaid, and too tired to keep trying to save this man from himself.”

“So I’m supposed to just forget about him?” Veda asks incredulously, heart lurching at the thought.

“Yes. Exactly. Some people don’t wanna be rescued, kid. So focus on the ones that do.”

Nadia walks away before Veda can think of a response. Veda hates this. Somehow, in the three years of working at Saint Francis, she’s gotten lucky enough to not encounter someone like the man seeking pain medication. She’s known it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence - it’s hard not to know these behaviours with Phil and Marshall in her family - but it’s different experiencing it as part of her job.

Sighing, she does as Nadia told her to do: She fills out Ronald Foster’s form as “No Billable Insurance” and moves onto the next patient.

From: Hatchling
> I’m doing okay. Trying to finish up this semester in one piece which is just so much fun. Sarcasm, in case you couldn’t tell. How are you? House haunted yet?

To: Hatchling
< Lol no, but I kinda wish it was. It’s too quiet.
< You know you always have a place here, right? No matter what.

Veda waits until the text is delivered then drops her phone into her pocket. Her bag digs painfully into her shoulder as she makes her way down the stairs, out of the thick muggy air of late-afternoon and into the sweat-stench of the underground platform. She is incredibly thankful to be going home - finally.

The half-shift she’d accepted had been incredibly busy. Even after Li and Alex showed up, it seemed the list of patients never went down. As if all of New York decided today was the perfect day for medical emergencies. Veda’s head is pounding, screaming for a quick meal and sleep.

So much sleep.

She really doesn’t know how much more bad she can handle.

“Watch it,” some businessman snaps as she pushes past him.

Veda ignores him and finds a space between a woman playing Candy Crush on her phone and a teen who scowls as if the universe peed in his cereal this morning. Once she’s grabbed a hold of the pole, Veda settles in for the ride home. The swaying of the carriage lulls her brain into autopilot, her thoughts travelling far from the commute.

How was work, Percy girl?

Busy. Did you take all your pills?

Yeah. Patrice threatened to call you if I didn’t. You look upset, sweetheart. Come sit with me.

A patient won’t let the staff help him get the help he so clearly needs.

And?

Nadia said we can’t save everyone.

Nadia is right. Baby, why are you crying?

I just wanna save him like I couldn’t save you. Why couldn’t I save you? I can’t - I can’t live without you.

I’m not far away, Percy. You know that. I’ll always be with you.

I just wanted to save you, Granddad.