Someone Lost, Something Gained

Veda groans at the first touch of sunlight on her face, wondering why she put her bed in front of the window in the first place. She has never quite liked waking in the mornings - a loathing that was born from a disinterest in spending time with Olivia - and that hatred only grows each time she drinks too much the night before.

After the first drink, she and Hattie had decided to forgo the coffee altogether, switching the Bailey’s for Jim Beam straight from the bottle. They spent half the night comparing horror stories of their lives, and Veda is somehow surprised that Debbie let JJ continue living with them after he drunkenly drove the car through their living room window. Then again, John Jr has always been her first-born, her precious little baby. So maybe it isn’t that shocking.

A loud vibrating noise kicks up, and Veda groans, rolls over to grab her phone off the nightstand. Without looking at the caller ID, she slides her thumb across the screen and brings the device to her ear.

“You’re interrupting my routine of hating myself for drinking too much, what do you want?”

The line goes quiet for a moment, then Niall’s voice comes through the speaker. “Sorry. I, er, I can leave you alone?”

“No, no. It’s fine. I just… hungover, that’s all. Please, continue. I like hearing your voice.”

“I like hearing yours, too, especially when you’re grumpy from just waking up.” His laugh is soft in her ear, but there’s something to it that isn’t settling right. She frowns and sits up as he continues, “I am so sorry about cancelling last night. I only now got off shift, and I’m exhausted. I just, I wanted to explain -”

“Get called in?”

“Yeah. It was… Veda, it was awful.”

Veda chews on the edge of her thumbnail, wincing when she rips the skin. “Do you want me to come over so you can talk about it?”

“Not right now. I’m just gonna sleep for a while. I’ve been awake for nearly thirty hours. Either people have been cloned, or I’m seeing double.”

“Okay, you definitely need sleep. Sweet dreams, babe.”

His accent is thicker, words slurring a bit around the edges, though the smile is there. “I’ll probably end up dreaming about our date. If you still want to go?”

Veda snorts inelegantly at his hesitation and drops back onto her pillows. “Of course I do. I asked you, didn’t I? Let me know when you make it home.”

“I will. And Ve-Veda? Thanks. For being so understanding and for, y’know, being here for me.”

“Not going anywhere, doll.”

His yawn is the last thing she hears before Niall hangs up, and Veda stares at her phone, grinning stupidly. She burrows further into her blankets and scrolls through her notifications.

Ellie has texted a few times during the night, which isn’t unusual, and Aida tagged Veda in a post on Instagram. Veda taps on the icon then yelps as her phone drops onto her face. She gives up on checking her alerts, instead tossing her phone onto the bed next to her.

Knowing that Niall didn’t want to cancel makes it easier to accept the fact that he had. Veda sighs and stares at the ceiling, the pebbling of the spackle, the slight discolouration in the corner where the roof leaked a few years ago. She’s spent a majority of her life in this room, and it has never once failed to fill her with peace. Knowing it is home, it always has been, and that Granddad was only ever one floor down…

And now she doesn’t have him, but she still has this.

Footsteps echo in the stairwell, and Veda groans before pushing herself upright again. She might as well get up for the day. Her shift starts in three hours, and she really has to pee.

Hattie glances up from where she’s shovelling food into her mouth, and Veda can’t help but laugh at the similarity her cousin bears to a chipmunk. She crosses to the coffeemaker, the pot already blessedly full.

“Where’d you get that?” she asks with a quick jerk of her chin toward Hattie’s plate.

“Antonio brought it over. Said Nonna made too much.”

“Otherwise known as she thinks we need doted on because we’re two mid-twenties young women who live alone and have busy lives.”

Hattie shrugs and swallows down the rest of her apple juice. “Like I’m gonna complain. It’s delicious. She can feed me all the time if she wants.”

“Any for me?”

Hattie merely points toward the stove, and Veda opens the oven. A foil-wrapped plate sits in the middle of the rack, taunting her. Grinning, she immediately reaches for the dish only to curse aloud at the burns she receives on the ends of her fingers. Hattie clears her throat, but the sound doesn’t disguise her laugh.

“Oh, yeah. It’s hot.”

“Thanks, asshole, I don’t think I figured that out on my own.”

Veda reaches for a dishtowel, retrieving the plate with no further injuries, and sits at the table across from Hattie. The pair eats in silence until Hattie has finished her breakfast. Veda frowns when her cousin coughs quietly.

“I’m gonna call around to see if my credits will transfer.”

“Prob’ly a good idea. What’re you gonna do if they don’t?”

“Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to restart. Maybe this time, I can do a better job of juggling my responsibilities. But, uh, mind helping me with filling out the FAFSA?”

“Sure, I think I remember Granddad walking me through it. You’ll have to call your parents for their income information, though.”

“I forgot about that,” groans Hattie, letting her head thunk to the tabletop. “Can’t we lie?”

“No.”

“That sucks. Anyway. You should call Ellie today. She’s gonna be so pissed you didn’t tell her about the date in the first place.”

Veda pauses then realises Hattie is right - Ellie is going to freak out when she finds out Veda asked Niall out. “I hate you,” she manages after a long moment of silence.

Once the dishes are washed, Veda runs upstairs to get dressed for work. She would much rather spend today being lazy, recovering from a date gone well, but it was taken off the schedule by whatever Niall had going on last night. She is in the middle of brushing her teeth when the doubts resurface.

What if he was lying about something coming up that would prevent their date? No, don’t go there. He has given her no reason to second-guess him. Besides, Veda doesn’t think he’s a good enough actor to have that much frustration and pain in his voice. All she can do is trust that he’ll explain at some point.

Thankfully, he still wants to talk to her, judging by the text she gets around four that afternoon. A simple question - Are you busy? - but it’s enough to squash her worries. Hattie’s argument last night was logical, and Veda found herself believing it easily. Today, though, the time between the phone call and now has been filled with overthinking and wishing Granddad could be here.

He would give her advice, and she wouldn’t doubt it.

To: Niall
< Kinda? Mostly avoiding filling out paperwork. What’s up?

From: Niall
> How about Saturday night?

To: Niall
< Perfect. I have a half, so I should be out by 4.
< Need to talk?

From: Niall
> We can talk when you’re home. I’m not going to be the reason you get fired.

To: Niall
< Well, what kinda boyfriend are you then?

From: Niall
> The kind who likes his girlfriend to have a job she loves :)

To: Niall
< Fiiiiiiine, if you have to be so damn sweet about it. :P
< I’ll text when I get off.
< Work, I mean
< Not “off” off.
< Okay, I’m gonna shoot myself in the foot now byeeee

His response is only a long string of laugh-crying emojis, and Veda grins even as she sends back an emoji of a hand flipping him off followed by a kissy face. Before she locks her phone, she sends a text to Hattie informing her of the rescheduled date then another text to Ellie saying only Big news.

The sun is setting over the block by the time Veda makes her way down her street. She breathes in the aromas of dinners, of cigarette smoke and sparklers. Of home. Hellos are exchanged, but nobody stops her as she ambles toward her house. Hattie’s car isn’t out front.

Antonio scoots over so Veda can sit next to him on the Costas’ stoop. She lets out a slow breath and stares out over the street. The occasional car comes through, honking on the way, and kids scatter each time before coming right back to continue their games.

“You look happy, Veda.”

Veda sighs and lets out a soft laugh. “I am. Didn’t think it was possible after losing Granddad, but I really, really am happy.”

“Good. You deserve it, kiddo.”

“’Kiddo’? You aren’t even two years older’n me.”

“Still older,” Antonio laughs, and she shoves her shoulder against his.

If he was anyone other than him, if he was just some man she crossed paths with in the world, Veda might have found him attractive. With thick, black hair and caramel-brown eyes that contrasts beautifully to his olive skin, he’s certainly good-looking. As it is, she has considered him family for far too long. She idly wonders if he’s managed to find a girlfriend at any point recently.

“Tell me about this guy,” he says abruptly, reaching for the cigarette tucked behind his ear. “I wanna know he’s good for you.”

Veda giggles and takes the cigarette before he can light it up. “He makes me happy, isn’t that enough for you?”

“You realise we will all chase him outta town if he hurts you, right?”

“Well, Ant, I don’t think he will, but thanks,” she whispers as she rests her head on his shoulder, exhales slowly.

“I’m glad.” Antonio pauses. “Any possibility I can get my smoke back?”

“Not a chance in Hell, buddy.”