Someone Lost, Something Gained

Waking up next to Niall feels like Veda has finally found her place in this world. She was always meant to be held like this, his fingers pressing gently into her side as his arm drapes over her belly, his face resting against her arm. Their legs managed to entwine during the night. She should have known, way back when they met, that he would become her own personal octopus.

That Niall would steal her heart, and she’d never want it back.

The fact he ever came into her life was mere coincidence. Falling for him was pure chance. Being in love with him is a blessing.

Over the next month, her days fill with work and Niall in her bed most nights. He’d practically begged her and Hattie to allow him to study at theirs: “I’d do it at home, but I can never get peace there.” It wasn’t a hardship for both women to agree immediately.

Hattie makes a copy of the key for him. Veda comes home to Niall sleeping, sprawled out on her bed with books and papers scattered around him. Sleeping alone loses its familiarity.

Her birthday dawns bright and hot. The August heat rises around ten in the morning, and it’s still sweltering when she heads to work at three. He’d apologised before he left this morning, saying he couldn’t spend the night tonight. He has a shift, then he has to stay home with David Barkie. Veda understood, but she hates the thought of coming home to an empty bed.

She never thought she would reach twenty-five. She always assumed she would fall into the trap of Olivia and ruin her life. She would die trying to escape the blood in her veins. But here she is, sat on the subway, unable to stop smiling. She has her neighbours, her cousin, and an all-consuming love for an amazing man.

Her life could only be better if Granddad was alive. If he’d been able to meet Niall and see how much Hattie has grown into her own woman. Veda is sure he wouldn’t approve of the activities she and Niall partake in during the night and afternoons spent alone, but Granddad would certainly approve of Niall as a man.

Nadia and Lyle corner Veda as soon as she steps into the locker-room. She barely gets her bag on its hook before Lyle is slamming the door shut, and they both latch onto each of her arms. She rolls her eyes but follows dutifully as they practically drag her to the nurse’s station.

“Happy birthday, Veda!”

Veda stumbles back a step at the enthusiasm in her coworkers’ voices, then she’s grinning, bright and real. She hadn’t expected much - her birthday is low-key for a reason - but she can’t be awkward under the attention. Not when these people make her feel like she actually belongs here.

An elaborate birthday cake sits on the desk, covered in fondant “paperwork” and clipboards. Her name breaks up the pale pink frosting in huge, purple swirling letters. She could cry. She doesn’t, but she could.

Of course nothing ever goes to plan. The patients are all rude, taking their awful moods out on her. Veda struggles to keep a pleasant smile on her face even as her soul dies a little bit more. Hour after hour, room after room, she is yelled at far more often than she’s ever been before. The last three alone spent twenty minutes apiece screaming at her.

Finally, she only has one more patient, one more room. Then she can go home with a plate of her birthday cake and watch TV with Hattie. One more. That’s all.

She comes to a stop in the doorway, mouth ajar. Maria inspects her nails as she sits on the bed. Veda swallows thickly; she hadn’t expected to ever see Phil’s daughter ever again. Veda really hates today.

She backs away from the room and rushes to the nurse’s station. Phyllis doesn’t look up from the files in her hands, even when Veda explains she can’t do her job.

“There’s a restraining order against my family.”

“I’m sorry, Veda, but everyone else is loaded.”

“Restraining. Order.”

“Again, the others can’t do it.” Phyllis sighs and meets Veda’s eye. “You know I wouldn’t order you to do this if I didn’t have to.”

“Fine. Just know I’m doing this under duress, and I hate you.”

“Hate me all you want. I’m not here to be your friend.”

“You wound me, Phyllis.”

Steeling her spine, Veda grabs up her clipboard once more and heads back to 314. Her footsteps are slow, reluctant, until Phyllis demands she get her ass in gear. So Veda does.

“Oh. It’s you.”

“Hi, Miss Mitchell.” Veda draws in a shaky breath, stares down at the paperwork. “Do you have any insurance for the visit today?”

“I’m in really bad pain, and I need to be admitted so the doctors can figure—”

“I’m going to stop you there, ma’am. I’m not a nurse, so I can’t know about the reason for your visit. I just need your insurance information.”

Maria scoffs. “You know damn well I don’t have insurance, Veda. Are you fucking stupid?”

Veda marks ‘No Billable Insurance’. “Alright, ma’am. The nurse will be with you shortly.”

“Ha, you can’t even defend yourself. You are stupid. And worthless, both as a person and as a nurse. It’s no wonder Grandpa died, if he had to deal with you all the time. Moron.”

Veda’s hands tremble. Her vision goes red, pulsing at the edges. The words explode from her lips before she can stop them: “Yes, well, at least I do something useful in this world. It’s more than you can say.”

She wants to say more - she aches to say more - but anything else will result in a complaint against the hospital. It would result in her losing her job. She pivots on her heel, storms from the room, and breathes unsteadily as she hurries to the nurse’s station. Nadia jumps when Veda slams the clipboard onto the desk.

“What—”

She’s gone before the other woman can ask. Todd trails after Veda, pleading for answers, but she ignores him. It’s hard enough to keep her tears at bay without opening her mouth. She can’t handle the way her heart is shattering in her chest.

Maria knew exactly what to say to hurt Veda the most.

Veda knows she shouldn’t take Maria’s words to heart. That Maria is too similar to the rest of the family to ever amount to much. Maria is a drain on society, and anything she says shouldn’t matter.

But damned if Veda isn’t broken apart by it.

She blinks back to herself at the squawking over the speakers, the name of the station not the one she meant to go to. Instead of the one nearest her house, she has come to one across the city. She grabs her bag, tossing the strap over her shoulder, and shoves her way carelessly through the other riders.

No one complains.

Her skin is coated with sweat, icy and unrelated to the heat of the evening. The tears come. She sniffles but doesn’t wipe them away. What’s the point? Her chest tightens, the pain a physical ache in her ribs.

The gate squeals when she pushes it open, and she barely remembers to lock it behind her. Lowering herself onto the porch, she manages to send a text to Hattie - “Won’t be home until late, sorry” - then she presses her face against her knees.

How long she sits there, she isn’t sure. She is dragged from the hurt by the door opening behind her, the clack of nails on the wood beneath her, and a voice cursing loudly. David Barkie shoves his nose against her cheeks, snuffling before he whimpers.

“Fuck, Veda, you startled me.” Harry pauses, falling silent. She can almost see the concern in his green eyes, even without looking at him. “Hey, are you okay?”

All she can do is shake her head. If she opens her mouth, she will lose control and sob without end. He doesn’t need to see that. This isn’t his burden to bear. His hand falls onto her shoulder, then he’s sitting beside her. As pathetic as it is, Veda leans into his side and breathes as steadily as possible.

He kisses her hair. It’s gentle, but nothing like Niall’s. “I don’t know what’s happened, but if you ever wanna talk, I’m here. Okay?”

“’Kay.”

“Nialler is still awake. Why don’t you go on in?”

She gives a slow nod and climbs to her feet. Harry catches her hand, waits until she meets his eye, and reminds her that they all care about her. No one will hesitate to help her. All she has to do is ask. More tears.

The closer Veda gets to Niall’s room, the more guilt consumes her. He told her he has an exam coming up. She shouldn’t be interrupting him like this. He doesn’t deserve to fail because she is selfish and needing the comfort only he can give. She almost changes her mind, but Harry is there by the door. DB struggles to break free from his hold.

Harry gestures encouragingly, so Veda opens the door.

True to Harry’s word, Niall is very much awake, frantically checking his notes against the textbook in his lap. He glances up at the quiet squeak of hinges, and the frustration on his face bleeds away. Confusion, happiness, concern.

“Ve-Veda?”

That’s all it takes. Veda lets her bag fall to the floor and crosses the room. Niall shoves his books aside so she can drop, face-first and sobbing, onto the mattress. He lies next to her, pulls her in against him, and Veda can’t handle the tenderness in his hold. It’s all she wants, but it’s too hard.

“Love, what happened?” he whispers, and she hiccups as her tears taper off.

She explains, and his arms tighten. His body quivers with ill-concealed rage. Niall is far angrier now than when Phil and Olivia broke into the house. Maybe because Maria’s words have affected Veda so much, whereas the break-in was nothing more than an inconvenience in her life.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles, pressing her face into the curve of his neck. “I’m so sorry. I shoulda just gone home. I… I couldn’t. Hattie woulda gone to kick Maria’s ass, and I don’t think I have enough money for bail.”

His lips brush along her hair, his breath ghosting the shell of her ear, and she breathes out a sigh. It’s what she needed. “Stay as long as you need to, sweetheart. Stay the night, the week. I don’t care. I just want you to be okay.”

“I’ll be fine.”

He grimaces when she pulls away. Telling her he has to get back to studying, Niall reaches for his books once more. Veda kisses the bare skin above his knee then clambers to her feet.

To: Hatchling
< Won’t be home at all tonight.

From: Hatchling
> Get some, giiiiirrrrrrrllllllll.
> No details. I’m begging.

Niall groans low in his throat when Veda strips to her underwear. “This isn’t fair,” he whines.

“Study, then we can have fun.”

“Unfair. So unfair.”

She slips between the sheets, tugging the comforter up to her chin. She falls asleep to his muttering and the gentle tug of his hand playing with her hair.