Sweet Cries of a Canary

I gasped and he quickly deepened the kiss. It took a moment for me to sort through the warring emotions and to fight against the urge to melt against him… It had been years since someone kissed me. The feel of his lips against mine; a bit rough but soft too was reminding me what it felt like to have someone you could be intimate with. In the end I came back to my senses and broke away from him, tears shining in my eyes as I slapped him hard; too damn hard with all the strength I could gather.

His anger; obvious in his eyes but I didn’t care. In one swept motion he pushed me back with my head touching the soft covers of the bed with such force I thought my skull would break and his right hand on my collar-bone. Seeing tears running down my face must have been a shock to him because he quickly retreated his hand as he apologized, ‘’I’m sorry.’’

I didn’t know what to feel exactly in that moment. He claimed my lips when he knew I didn’t like him. He was my husband-to-be, but so what? No one should ever push themselves on to you without your consent; much less get angry because you didn’t accept them. On the other hand, I kind of liked his kiss. It had been a while and I had missed the feeling, but the main problem wasn’t any of those. The problem was my eyes.

I raised my back from the bed and pushed the tears back. I glared at him. ‘’Don’t you try to pull that shit again on me. I may become your wife but that doesn’t give you any right to do anything if I don’t want you to.’’

‘’Yes, for that you’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.’’

‘’Don't say those words so lightly. I trust no one and least of all, you.’’ I yelled at him and tried to get up when he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him so I stood in front of him.

‘’I mean what I say. I’m sorry.’’ He seemed sincere and sad over the fact that I didn’t believe him, but it could all have been an act. It wouldn’t have been the first time someone gave me the puppy look when they had the venom ready for the kill.

‘’You could be lying to me, born vampires are really good at that, trust me... I know.’’I said as I spun away, my mind suddenly going back to my past filled with sad memories of my ex-boyfriend who had turned out to be a lying and cheating bastard. He had said he loved me, told me my eyes didn't matter, and in the end I believed him because I put my trust on him but after we had sex, he broke up with me as he went around our vampire circle saying he had finally banged the black eyed girl. I hadn't had a boyfriend since then. Let alone feel something for someone.

I was more sad than angry and that helped my eyes change to their earthly color. I felt the change because it hurt every single time. It was something I had to get used to by time. I trained to keep my emotions in check and not let them affect my eyes but it was hard and it didn’t work always. There wasn’t anyone I could ask help over it because there was never before anyone like me. Nyx had never bestowed a gift before to any of the vampires, so why should a half-breed like me have the glory?

‘’Agatha, you’ll learn by time that I never lie... And believe me when I say your eyes are really beautiful; one of a kind.’’ Ryan said and got up taking a small step forward.

‘’Men lie better than women,’’ I replied seeing my past playing before my eyes like a movie.

‘’Blake, why are you doing this?’’ I demanded as he walked out my door for the last time and into the night.

‘’You’re seriously asking me why? Isn't it obvious? I want a beautiful girlfriend not a freak. You can’t even properly control your powers.’’ He scoffed and walked away.

‘’So everything was a lie!? You never thought I was beautiful in the first place, did you?’’ I cried after him bare-foot, not caring in the least.

‘’You? Beautiful? Never! Not in a million years!’’ He laughed like a maniac even as he disappeared into the night, never to be seen again.

After that night everything changed for me. I never trusted anyone again. I kept crying all night long knowing nothing was ever going to be the same again. I trusted only myself and never had a boyfriend since then.

‘’How can you say that?’’ I asked tears streaming from my eyes and I tore out off his hold, pushing him to the bed and ran out of the room and out of the mansion into the darkened forest while ignoring the bodyguards that stood outside the gates. I ran and ran until I collapsed from my sobs. I felt the pain coming back and I cried even harder as my eyes changed back to their black color. ‘’How could you say that to me!’’ I cried and stood up running again in any random direction not caring one bit that I was completely lost.

I finally collapsed next to a small lake in the middle of the forest and I peered over the side into the clear waters to look at my reflection; a Mediterranean slightly sun-kissed face with long, dark red hair and an endless black abyss for eyes. I wondered how anyone could ever find that face beautiful at all. I couldn't trust Ryan, not after what Blake had done to me. Never again would I let anyone take me for a fool.

I got up and walked around the small lake till I walked passed it and into the woods again. It was dark but the moon gave me all the light I needed trough the trees so I could walk even though I was bare-foot. Running barefoot had became a thing in my life and I hadn’t realized it till now. The first time was the hardest when I tried to go after my father leaving us, then when I found out my mother was in the hospital hit by a drunk driver on the road, then my ex-boyfriend, then when I had a break-down in college, and even now…

As I walked the light got a bit stronger and realized I was walking towards a hill. Suddenly, I heard movement behind me, something large and dangerous was heading towards me. I knew it wasn't Ryan, or Layla, or even another vampire from the mansion... but something different. I felt it in my gut and fear welled up in me, choking me. So I ran again and the branches along with the stuck-up roots that had allowed my passage before seemed to be against me now as they tore into my clothes and scratched my skin. Everything seemed so wrong.

I heard the creature coming closer, crashing through the underbrush. I was almost at the highest point of the hill when I saw the rocks; small, bigger ones and one that was huge into the middle with its center of weight more towards the left side. Once the trees ended and I made a step into the moonlight, something grabbed me on the left and I screamed as I was spun around and into someone’s strong arms.

I heard the creature’s screams as I looked up, realizing it was Ryan who had caught me. I turned my head towards the rocks only to see it was a cliff underneath. I swallowed my scream and wrapped my arms around Ryan. Tears started flowing from eyes and I hid my face in his chest and his embrace. I was going to die. If Ryan had gotten to me any minute later, I would have died. That creature would have eaten even my bones. I shivered at the thought of that thing tearing me up and eating my flesh till there was nothing left. Nothing!

‘’You okay?’’ Ryan asked and as I looked up to him, ready to say okay, I saw a humongous wolf.

‘’Ryan, behind you!’’ I cried.

He turned quickly and he saw the wolf had torn through the underbrush and was running straight at us, ‘’Run Agatha, run!’’ He screamed and pushed me in the direction of the mansion. I ran not looking back knowing I would only trouble him if I got in the way and he would be angry if I got hurt in an attempt to protect him.

Unexpectedly, even the weather wasn’t on my side that night. It started to rain and I was soaked within seconds. I cursed my stupidity for running outside of the mansion in the first place in order to cope with my emotions and I tried to see through the blinding rain but I tripped over an upturned root and I hit my head against a tree, feeling blinding pain and then nothingness as I passed out.

4 YEARS AGO

I walked down the hall in school, my glasses on and I pushed through the many bodies blocking my way to my class. ‘’Watch it, freak!’’ Someone yelled as my glasses were knocked off and my books went flying. I spun around my eyes flashing angrily and I spat in the boys’ face.

‘’Do you have a problem with me?’’ I snarled and the guy grinned, pushing me hard against the locker. I bared my teeth and stepped away from the locker. I was angry as I was suddenly grabbed from behind by two strong arms. I looked behind me and saw Blake, one of the hottest guys in school. I squirmed out of his grasp and snarled, ‘’don’t get in my way, Blake, and let me go.’’

‘’If I leave you alone, you'll end up getting hurt so let me deal with this guy,’’ and with those words the guy was knocked on his ass and Blake seemed to have whispered something in the guy’s ear and then the poor guy pissed himself. As Blake stood up, I pushed my glasses up, hiding my eyes in order to look at him. ‘’Come, I'll get you some lunch,’’ and that was how we became acquainted.

It was over the summer break that Blake asked me out and I found out he was a vampire.

‘’Agatha, before we do anything I think you should know that I am a vampire.’’ He said after he asked me out.

‘’Really?’’ I asked taken a back. I hadn’t realized he was a vampire. Nothing hinted he was one. Not his behavior, his looks or his lust for blood. He showed me nothing.

‘’Yes, I'm a vampire.’’ He said and he showed me his fangs.

‘’Don’t worry I’m a half-breed.’’ I grinned at him and then showed him my black fangs.

He gasped in shock. ‘’Holy shit,’’ he said, ‘’I never realized.’’

I smiled, ‘’its fine. That makes two of us.’’ And I chuckled.

‘’So, you still want to keep dating me?’’ He asked again, his voice steady but I could sense he was afraid of my answer.

I hugged him saying, ‘’Yes. It doesn’t change the way I feel.’’ I smiled at him before my smile dropped. ‘’But there is something more you don’t know about.’’

I wasn’t that much affected when kids in school called me a freak because I knew it was because I was an outcast. I liked keeping to myself and not going around with cheerleaders and football players. I only had two friends and I was glad about it. A wise phrase said that you can count on your real friends with the fingers on one of your hands. Meaning you couldn’t have one hundred friends and expect all of them to be the good kind.

If kids in school knew about my eyes, then calling me a freak would have been a big problem for me because I wouldn’t have been able to go to school with humans and act like them. Our kind would have been exposed and that endangered my life and the existence of our entire species. That was one of the reasons my father was very strict with my training, even though it was self-taught because I was the only one who could think and realize what my limits where in my powers.

‘’What?’’ he asked, taking my hands in mine.

I mustered all my courage to tell him the truth. He had told me the truth even when he thought I was a human. It couldn’t have been that hard for me to tell him about my secret is what I thought. ‘’You know I...’’ I started but I stopped. I was afraid. I didn’t want to lose him, but I didn’t want to be afraid of him ever finding out the truth without me telling him first.

‘’What is it, Agatha? I love you, so don’t be afraid.’’ He caressed my hands.

Blake wasn’t going to leave me. He loved me. I repeated those sentences in my mind for a bit beore I took a long breath. ‘’I’m a special half-bread. My eyes…’’ I trailed off.

‘’What’s wrong with your eyes?’’ He asked still holding my hands caressing them softly.

‘’My eyes turn black at certain times. Not just the color like when humans wear contacts to change their color, but the whole eye.’’ I explained. ‘’It will be better to show you,’’ I added and closed my eyes. A slight pain starting cursing into my eyes as they changed and I opened them again to reveal an endless black pit.

Anxiety was rising up inside me as he wasn’t speaking for a while and I closed my eyes again waiting to hear him say something but instead I felt his lips on mine and tears welled up in my eyes. Until that moment I didn’t know how reassuring it would have been for someone to embrace the whole entity of me.

‘’Your eyes are beautiful and I love you even more for trusting me with this,’’ he said as soon as he broke the kiss and hugged me tightly.

It was the night he asked me if we could make love, our six month anniversary. Everything was magical. Not just butterflies and all that magic they say but every single thing about it. The way he made me feel; loved, special, beautiful, wanted… and he told me I was beautiful. He didn’t care about my strange eyes. He had accepted me. He had accepted everything about me. Like a fool I had believed him, I let him made love to me that night but the night after, he walked out of my life forever.

‘’Blake, why are you doing this?’’ I demanded as he walked out my door for the last time and into the night.

‘’You’re seriously asking me why? Isn't it obvious? I want a beautiful girlfriend not a freak. You can’t even properly control your powers.’’ He scoffed and walked away.

‘’So everything was a lie!? You never thought I was beautiful in the first place, did you?’’ I cried after him bare-foot, not caring in the least.

‘’You? Beautiful? Never! Not in a million years!’’ He laughed like a maniac even as he disappeared into the night, never to be seen again.

He had gotten what he wanted and he had disappeared. After that I never trusted anybody and had worked harder than ever, finishing high-school and then going to college. Men had stayed out of my life and I had quickly become acquainted with all types of supernatural beings through books and research. I had vowed vengeance against Blake but I never got it.