Until You Met Me

Stuffing her phone underneath the pillow next to her, Molly tilted her head back, letting out a tired groan as she squeezed her eyes closed. He was getting harder to ignore. A combination of Gerard’s persistent texts, and Molly’s desire to speak to him because she was just so used to speaking to him, had made ignoring the buzz of her phone more than difficult, but she was determined to keep doing it, mostly because she didn’t quite know what she would say to him if she picked it up. It was easy to be annoyed with him, to focus on the lie he had told over the disappointment that she had felt when he had admitted it, but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to keep it up if she spoke to him. She was worried that she would end up admitting how disappointed she was and why, and that that would only serve to make things even weirder between them.

“Are you still ignoring him?”

Molly slowly lifted her head up, nodding as she watched Ava and Sofia pad into her living room, setting out the take-out dinner that they had ordered. “I am” she confirmed.

“How long has it been now?” Sofia prodded, offering a glass of wine out to Molly.

Molly took the glass of wine and sipped at it before she answered. “About a week” she answered “He left it for a couple of days, that’s his idea of giving me space, but since then it’s been a couple of texts a day that I don’t answer. He’s called a couple of times, but he doesn’t leave a message. He’s never been very good at leaving things unresolved between us, so I am pretty sure he will keep trying until I talk to him” she added.

“You don’t want to resolve it?” Sofia asked.

Molly, who’d been reaching over to place her glass down onto the table, paused for a moment before she sat up, letting out a soft sigh. “Of course I do” she answered “He’s one of the most important people in my life, and I have never liked it when things are strained between us, but I just...I don’t know what to do this time. Things feel strange, and complicated, and I don’t know what to say to him. He made me feel like an idiot, but if I tell him that, I am going to have to tell him why, and if the other night proved one thing, it is that that would be awfully embarrassing and awkward” she added, letting out a laugh in a failed attempt to lighten the mood.

“So you’re just never going to speak to him again?”Ava prodded.

Molly’s answering shrug was non-committal as she reached over, picking up a container of food, but inside, her stomach had dropped. She didn’t know what the answer was. She knew that she didn’t want to explain to Gerard why what he had done had upset her so much. She knew that she didn’t want to listen to him tell her what she had already guessed at, that he didn’t feel the same way about her, but she also knew that he wasn’t someone that she could just cut out of her life. He had been around for too long, they had shared too much, and she knew just how much she would miss him if he wasn’t around. She already missed him, and it’d only been a handful of days.

Ava watched Molly for a moment as she poked some food with a fork before she shook her head. “You didn’t tell him about Tiago” she said carefully “Why?” she asked.

“You know why” Molly replied, not looking up from her food “How do you know that, anyway?” she asked. She knew that conversations between Ava and Gerard were few and far between, and the fact that Ava knew that Molly hadn’t been entirely forthcoming with the reasons for her breakup had caught her off guard.

“I spoke to Gerard” Ava answered “The morning after you had dinner. I wanted to know what he was doing, so I invited him to my office to talk. I was just trying to look out for you. I just wanted him to look at the big picture. I told him that he must have known why you and Tiago broke up, and he told me that it was because of the commitment thing. He has no idea about the part he played. Why didn’t you tell him?” she added.

Molly opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before she shook her head. “I’m scared, Ava” she admitted “I mean, I have known him for as long as I can remember, and the prospect of telling him, and then losing him, terrifies me. It terrified me enough before, but after the other night, it’s even worse. I don’t know what was going through his head the other night, but if I had to guess, I think he thought that I thought it was a second date, and that he wanted to squash the idea, so he told me the truth. I don’t think he feels the way about me that I do about him, and I am not brave enough to hear it, or to face what will happen to us, because it’s going to change everything, Ava” she explained.

Ava fiddled with her fork for a moment before she looked up. “I think he does feel the way you feel” she said.

Molly scoffed, trying to ignore the warmth which was spreading up her cheeks. “How could you know?” she countered “You had one conversation with him” she added.

“I saw how quickly he jumped in to make sure you weren’t hurt” Ava said “And I saw his face when he spoke about you. I think he does feel the same way, Mol. I think he’s handled it awfully, but I really think that there is something there. If you just talked to him, admitted how you were feeling...” she trailed off when Molly firmly shook her head.

“I can’t do that” Molly insisted “Not on the off chance that you saw something on his face in one meeting that I haven’t seen in all the years I have known him. Right now, it’s still salvageable. I will take a few more days, and then we will patch things up. We’ll be fine. But if I say that to him, and you’re wrong...It’s not worth the risk” she added with a rueful shake of her head before she stood up, mumbling something about needing some kind of sauce as she padded out of the room.

Sofia watched Molly out of the room before she turned to look at Ava, a slight frown on her face. “Do you really think he feels the same way?” she asked.

Ava didn’t hesitate to nod. She had seen it. Even as Gerard had sat in front of her, denying it, it had been written all over his face, and she was amazed that Molly had never seen it. “I do” she confirmed.

Sofia opened her mouth to ask another question, but she was cut off when Molly stepped back into the room, her stare fixed determinedly on Ava. “Do you know if Dani is still interested in going out?” she asked.

Ava blinked in surprise. “Uh, I don’t know” she spluttered “Why?” she asked.

“Because if he is, I would like to go out with him” Molly replied “I know the other night was a disaster, but if he’s willing to give it another chance, then I am to. Do you think you can set it up?” she asked.

“You were just talking about how much you like Gerard” Sofia protested.

“And I just told you why that’s never going to be a thing” Molly countered “Ava, can you set it up?” she asked.

“Ava...”

“Of course I can” Ava cut Sofia off, flashing Molly a small smile “I’ll call him and set it up” she added.

Molly smiled before she padded back to the sofa, affording Sofia the chance to look over at Ava who simply flashed a cheeky smile back at her, wordlessly telling her that she had a plan.