Until You Met Me

Nervously pushing her hair out of her eyes, Molly stared at the phone on the coffee table in front of her, half dreading the moment that the dial tone switched over to the sound of Gerard’s voice. She had left it a little while longer before she had called him. She had needed more time to think, to try and wrap her head around what Ava had suggested, and find a reason to dismiss it, and only once she had convinced herself that Ava couldn’t have possibly been right had she found the nerve to dial his number. She hadn’t wanted to talk to him with her hopes up. The last time they had seen one another, she had thought that they were at the start of something, that their relationship was changing, and it hadn’t worked out, and it wasn’t something she was prepared to go through again. She had wanted to be sure that she was convinced that she knew what they were, and that there was little chance of it changing, before she tried to talk to him.

Drawing her knees up to her chest, she listened to the dial tone for a beat longer before it finally clicked over, allowing Gerard’s voice to fill the room. “Molly?” he asked.

Molly’s lips quirked upwards despite herself. “Who were you expecting?” she quipped “I know that a picture of me appears on your phone when I call. Who else would it be?” she added, trying to keep her voice light despite the butterflies in the pit of her stomach.

Gerard laughed. “I was just surprised by the call” he said.

Molly was quiet for a moment, allowing his words to hang between them, before she shook her head. “I was upset with you” she said “I needed some space” she added.

“I know” Gerard said “And I know I am really bad at giving it to you. I just wanted you to know that I was sorry. I fucked up, Molly. I shouldn’t have lied, I shouldn’t have convinced Ava to hide it from you either. I just...I didn’t want you to be disappointed. You tried to hide it, but you were actually excited to meet the guy that Ava had set you up with, and when I heard that he wasn’t going to be there...I did something stupid, and I am so sorry” he added gently.

For a moment, Molly didn’t say anything. She couldn’t speak through the dull ache that had filled her chest. She hadn’t been expecting him to say anything else, and she had spent days telling herself that hoping that he would was futile, but it had seemingly done little to soften the blow of hearing him say that the only reason he had stepped in when Dani had stood her up was because he didn’t want her to be upset.

Pressing her forehead against her knees, she drew in a deep breath and blew it out before she spoke. “I know that you were just trying to help” she said “It was a stupid way of helping, but that’s kind of your thing, so I guess I can forgive you for it” she added, forcing out a laugh.

Gerard’s answering laugh sounded slightly off to Molly, but she was quick to dismiss it. “You guess?” he quipped.

“What can I say?” Molly said “I kind of miss you when you aren’t around. I love Ava and Sofia, but they’re...”

“Not as good as me?” Gerard finished for her playfully “I always knew that you liked me best” he added.

Molly’s laugh came more naturally that time as she shook her head amusedly. “Those are you words, and if you say that to either of them, I will deny it” she said “I also wanted to call and make sure that you’ve not heard from Ava, actually” she added.

“Ava?” Gerard asked.

Molly nodded to herself. “She and Sofia were here the other day, and I asked her to set me up with Dani again, and after she had agreed, she kept sending Sofia these little secretive smiles that she thought I had missed. I was worried that she was going to interfere somehow, and my first guess was her not calling Dani and calling you instead in an attempt to make us talk” she explained.

It hadn’t been the biggest leap. The conversation that had preceded Molly asking Ava to set her up with Dani again had been about her feelings for Gerard, and her fear of what admitting that she had them would mean for their friendship, and so when she had caught Ava flashing a grin at Sofia, it hadn’t taken her long to start thinking that Ava would try and interfere somehow. She wanted to help, and Molly appreciated it, but she couldn’t let her do it. It was already complicated enough without Ava trying to push them together.

Gerard spluttered out something close to a laugh, something which made Molly smile despite herself. “I’ve not heard from her” he replied.

“If she does try and get in touch, ignore her” Molly quipped teasingly.

“Will do” Gerard chirped.

Molly let out a soft laugh, something Gerard mimicked before he lightly cleared his throat. “I am glad that you called” he said gently “I’ve missed this” he added.

Molly’s soft smile grew slightly sadder. “I’ve missed it too” she admitted “I just...I hate it when you lie to me. There was no need to. You were just trying to look out for me. If you had just told me that, then this...this wouldn’t have happened” she added, trying to rub away the tightness in her chest. She could hear the irony in her words, and was trying her hardest to ignore it.

Gerard was quiet for a few moments before the sound of another phone ringing filtered down the line, causing him to let out a rueful laugh. “I’ve got to get that” he quipped.

“I will let you go then” Molly said “I’ll text you later. Oh, and don’t be too surprised if you find me in your living room when you get back from your away trip at the weekend. Ava’s set me up with Dani again, and I have no idea how it’s going to go, so if it goes terribly, I will probably crash at your place so you can say the thing to me when you get home” she added, forcing her voice to be bright and cheerful.

“You let Ava set you with Dani again?” Gerard asked “He stood you up, Molly” he added.

“I didn’t know that” Molly answered “Besides, Ava was pretty confident about him before. Maybe after eight months of bad dates, he’ll be a good one” she added.

“Or he could stand you up again” Gerard countered.

“If he does, he does” Molly replied “At least I gave it a shot. Sometimes you just have to give it a shot” she added.

Gerard was quiet for a long moment. “I’ll speak to you soon, Molly” he said before he hung up.

Molly stared at the phone for a long moment in silence, part of her itching to text Ava and tell her to call the date off, but she quickly shook the thought from her head, reminding herself that whatever she thought was between her and Gerard wasn’t there, and that she couldn’t keep dwelling on it, hoping that it would change by itself.