Until You Met Me

Twelve

Dropping his bag beside the front door with a thump, Gerard stilled for a moment, listening for any sign that he wasn’t alone. He didn’t think that Molly would be there. As much as he was worried about the prospect of Dani standing her up again, he knew that Ava wouldn’t have agreed to set them up again if it was a real possibility, but still a little part of him had wanted her to be there, even if it had meant that things between her and Dani hadn’t worked out. Part of him just wanted to see her, and the phone call that they had shared a few days previous had made him feel as though that wasn’t going to happen unless something went wrong. He had expected it to feel awkward. They had had a fight, and the first conversation after that was always bound to be strange, but it had felt more strained than usual. It had felt as though everything between them had shifted, and although they had talked, it hadn’t moved back like it normally did.

When he didn’t hear a sound, he let out a quiet sigh before he moved to toe off his shoes and shrug out of his jacket. After he’d hung the jacket up, he swept his bag back into his hand and moved to walk through the living room, only to have his footsteps stutter to a stop at the sight of Molly who was sat up on his sofa, staring up at him with wide, tearful eyes. “Shit” he cursed softly.

Molly’s lips twisted into a pained smile. “I’m glad to see you, too, Gerard” she quipped.

Gerard’s bag hit the floor with a dull thump, but he kept himself where he was, not quite sure how Molly would react to him attempting to hug her. “Do I need to hit someone?” he asked.

Molly quickly shook her head, dabbing at her eyes with the back of her hand. “No” she replied “I’m not upset with him. He was...he was fine. I mean, he showed up this time, which was a marked improvement on our first attempt. I am just...I don’t know, frustrated?” she asked more than stated.

“Frustrated?” Gerard asked.

“I was stupid” Molly muttered, wrapping her arms around herself “I don’t why, but I thought it would be so much easier than this. I am a nice person. I like to think that I am interesting, and that I am fun to be around, but maybe I was wrong about that. I have been introduced to a lot of guys in the last eight months, and I haven’t made a connection with any of them. I am so tired of everyone being nice, but not feeling right to me” she added.

It hadn’t been a disaster. After Dani had sat down in front of her, something which had been more of a relief to Molly than she would ever admit, they had enjoyed a pleasant enough dinner, but that was all she could really say about it. They had enjoyed easy conversation, and he had made her smile a couple of times, but it had still felt off, and Molly had quickly figured out why. She hadn’t been able to stop herself from comparing it to the ‘date’ she had had with Gerard, and it had fallen easily short of that night, even if the memory of it was tainted by the lie Gerard had told her. It had easily been the best ‘date’ she had been on since things between her and Tiago had ended.

“You’re amazing, Molly” Gerard said.

Molly shook her head. “Then why is this so freaking hard?” she shot back “I just...I want someone, Gerard. I am so tired of being alone” she added, her voice softening as fresh tears tumbled down her cheeks.

Gerard shuffled closer until he sunk down onto the sofa, his thumb tenderly brushing the tears off of her face. “Do you want me to say the thing?” he murmured softly.

Molly’s chest tightened a little before she shook her head. She didn’t know that she could listen to him tell her that she was going to find someone now that she knew that the chances of it being him were probably non-existent. “Don’t” she murmured.

Gerard tilted his head, frowning slightly. “It makes you laugh” he quipped.

“I just don’t want to hear it right now, Gerard” Molly protested, ducking her head out of his hand.

“Molly...”

“Can you just stop, please?” Molly’s voice was louder than she had expected, and made Gerard flinch back slightly. Letting out a slightly shaky breath, she stared at him for a beat before she pushed herself to her feet, quickly gathering her things from the coffee table in front of her “I...I should go” she spluttered.

It had been a mistake. For a brief moment, she had thought that she could sit on Gerard’s couch and mope like she had done more than once before, but his presence, twinned with the persistent knot in her stomach that was now associated with him, threatened to overwhelm her, and she knew that she had to get away before she said something she couldn’t take back. Everything had changed. Despite the efforts that she had made to keep her feelings for him under wraps, everything still felt off between them in light of the ‘date’ they had shared, and Molly wasn’t sure that it could go back. Not knowing had been easy. There had always been a chance that he did feel the same way she did, and not knowing that he didn’t hadn’t weighed her down, but knowing that he didn’t did. It was the first thought she had when she looked at him, and it caused her stomach to twist painfully.

“I won’t say it” Gerard protested as he stood up “Just don’t go” he added.

Molly shook her head quickly. “I have to” she insisted, stuffing her feet back into the shoes she had left beside the sofa.

“Why?” Gerard pressed.

“Because I do” Molly retorted.

Gerard gently grabbed her hand before she could step too far away from him. “Don’t go” he repeated “Stay. I will find us a bottle of wine and we can just sit here in silence if that’s what you want to do. You know how good I am at cuddles” he added, his lips quirking upwards into a soft smile.

Molly stared up at him for a long moment before she pulled her arm out of his grasp. “I can’t do this” she said, making a move towards the front door.

“Do what?” Gerard pressed, following after her.

Molly didn’t answer. She placed her hand on the door handle and pulled it open, but Gerard easily leant over her and pushed it closed again. “What the hell is going on with you?” he pressed.

“Let me go” Molly hissed.

“Not until you explain what the heck is happening here” Gerard replied, pushing the door closed when Molly tried to open it again.

“Gerard, open the freaking door” Molly insisted.

“Molly...”

“It’s you!” Molly yelled “I am crazy about you, and I can’t sit here and listen to you prattle on about how I am going to find something amazing and wonderful whilst I know that it’s not going to be with you. Can you understand that? What it is like listening to you go on and on about how great you think I am, all whilst knowing that you were prepared to ruin out entire friendship just to spare me from thinking that there was a chance you wanted to go on a second date?” she pressed.

Gerard just stared at her, allowing the words to hang in the air between the two of them, before Molly let out a pained laugh. She was desperate to break the silence. Looking up at him, she floundered for something to say, to lift the painfully awkward haze that had fallen over them, but she couldn’t find anything. Instead, she gently lifted his hand off of the door and slipped out of it, making her way towards her car.

Once she had sat down inside of it, she looked up at the house, willing Gerard to follow for a long couple of minutes before she finally dropped her head onto the steering wheel, letting out a loud scream in frustration. She couldn’t believe that she had said it. Part of her was relieved that she had, she had been carrying it around for a long time, and there was a relief in having it out there, but it was easily drowned out by the regret she felt that it had come out like that, and the pain she had felt when she had seen the look on Gerard’s face. Wiping her eyes, she spared one last look at the closed front door before she started the car and drove away.
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Thanks to Twisted;;Symphony for the comment :)