Until You Met Me

Placing her empty glass onto the floor, Molly leant back into the sofa, her eyes blinking sleepily up at the ceiling as she listened to the soft hum of the television ahead of her. She knew that she should move. Despite the fact that Gerard had probably gone to sleep hours previous, and wouldn’t notice her absence until the following morning, she knew that he would have questions if he found her fast asleep on his sofa, but she couldn’t will herself to move, her mind still whirring with the revelation that she had had earlier in the night. It shouldn’t have surprised her like it had. It had been almost a year since Tiago had suggested that their relationship was doomed to fail because of her feelings for Gerard, a year that Molly had spent examining what she felt for the defender, and the realisation that she had fallen in love with him shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but it had.

She had said it to him before. Throughout the years, they had both tossed the words back and forth without a second thought, but the realisation that the next time she’d say it to him, she would mean it, overwhelmed her. She hadn’t allowed herself to think too far ahead. As well as things had been going between them, Molly had been careful to not let herself get swept away with what could happen next, but she knew that as soon as she said those words to him, she would be forced to face the reality that there was only two ways things between them could go, and to accept that there was as much of a chance of things working out as there was of her losing him from her life.

Lifting her head up again, she rubbed her eyes tiredly, but made no move to climb off of the sofa. Instead, she fluffed a pillow before she slumped back against it, letting her eyes flutter closed.

“You know, the bed is probably more comfortable”

Molly let her eyes flutter open again, allowing her to watch as Gerard shuffled towards the sofa and perched on the coffee table in front of it, a sleepy grin on his face. “What are you doing up?” she asked “It’s late. You should be sleeping” she added.

Gerard nodded his head. “I should be” he quipped “But the television’s not as quiet as you think it is. I was coming to turn it down” he added.

Molly let out a squeak as she reached for the remote, turning the television off. “I am so sorry” she said “I was sure I had turned it down. I didn’t want to disturb you” she added.

“It’s fine” Gerard said with a laugh “I forgive you” he added.

Molly frowned at him for a moment, something which caused Gerard to tilt his head, a slightly confused smile on his face. “Is everything alright?” he asked.

Molly blinked a couple of times, surprised by the question, before she ducked her head, nodding it slightly. “Yeah” she breathed “Sorry. I think I might have had a couple of drinks too many when I was out. I hadn’t seen Ava and Sofia in a little while and we got a little carried away” she added, pushing a laugh out of her mouth.

Gerard’s slightly confused expression didn’t clear, but he didn’t try and push her. Instead, he fidgeted with his hands for a moment before he nodded towards the stairs. “Are you going to come upstairs?” he asked “I promise, it is a lot more comfortable up there than it is out here” he added with a slightly uncertain laugh.

Molly hesitated for a second, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Gerard who let out a soft sigh, his hand rubbing his jaw uncomfortably. “You don’t have to” he said gently “If you want to sleep out here, you can. I just...I thought you would be more comfortable. I am going to head back up, because I need to get some sleep. I will see you in the morning?” he asked as he climbed back to his feet.

Molly watched him for a beat before she caught his hand in hers, gently tugging him to a stop. “I am just a little overwhelmed” she admitted quietly.

Gerard gently twisted their fingers together before he retook his seat on the coffee table. “By me?” he asked.

Molly shook her head. “I don’t really know how to explain it” she replied “And honestly, I don’t want to try and do it now, because I am pretty sure that I will just say something stupid. I wasn’t lying when I said that I had had too many drinks. I just don’t want to say the wrong thing” she added.

She didn’t want to just say it, not before she had had the chance to really get her head around it, and whilst it meant making excuses in that moment, it was something she was prepared to do. If the words ‘I love you’ fell out of her mouth, there would be no taking them back.

Gerard’s eyes searched her face for a long moment, looking for something she wasn’t saying, before he slowly nodded his head. “I get that” he said “But you know that I am hear to listen to anything you want to say, right? Stupid or not, the wrong thing or not. You can tell me anything” he added, his thumb gently brushing back and forth over the back of her hand.

Molly watched his thumb for a moment before she nodded her head, determinedly avoiding his eyes which were watching her, his expression soft and earnest. “I know” she said “And I will talk to you. Just not tonight. You need to get back to bed, and I should probably get some sleep too” she added.

“You’re coming up to bed, then?” Gerard chirped with a lopsided smile, pushing himself back to his feet.

Molly rolled her eyes playfully, but smiled and nodded, following him back up towards his bedroom as she tried to ignore the twisting knot in her pit of her stomach. She knew him. She knew that he’d remember that there was something she was holding back from him, and she knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t stop until he had gotten it out of her, and she didn’t know how he would react when she finally said it. She didn’t know what would happen next between them.