Until You Met Me

“Why were you looking at my phone?” Molly asked quietly, her eyes still fixed on the screen of her phone which was illuminated with Tiago’s text message. She knew that it was probably the worst thing to say. The text message on the screen of her phone, though not appearing under Tiago’s name, was obviously from her ex-boyfriend, and Gerard probably had the worst thoughts running through his head, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say. She didn’t know what to say. After she had completely ignored the first text that Tiago had sent, she had been almost convinced that there wouldn’t be a second, but there had been, and she couldn’t explain it. She didn’t know why he had texted, or why, after his first text had been ignored, he had sent a second one, and she knew that ‘I don’t know’ wasn’t enough of an answer to get rid of the insecure expression that had appeared on Gerard’s face.

Gerard’s answer was a scoffed out laugh that was caught somewhere between humourless and pained. “Is that really what you want to focus on right now?” he asked “I mean, I just found out that your ex-boyfriend is sending you messages, announcing how much he misses you, but you want to focus on me accidentally seeing it?” he added, his voice sharp.

Molly shook her head before she leant forwards, settling her phone down onto the coffee table.

Gerard watched her for a second before he shook his head. “He said you didn’t reply” he said, breaking the momentary silence that had settled between the two of them “That would suggest that there was at least one more message. When?” he asked.

“Earlier tonight” Molly replied “It was just a stupid message. He told me that he’d been thinking about me, and asked if I was available to talk. I read it, and I deleted it” she added.

“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” Gerard pressed.

“Because it was stupid” Molly answered as though it was the most obvious thing in the world “He hasn’t spoken to me in a year, not since he made it very clear that our relationship had run its course, and then he sends me a text like that? It’s stupid, and it wasn’t worth dwelling on, so I deleted it. I didn’t think it was worth mentioning” she added.

Gerard let out another strained laugh, rubbing his jaw frustratedly. “I’ve told you that you can tell me anything” he said “Stupid or not, you can tell me about it. Tiago texting out of the blue feels like something you should mention, even if it doesn’t mean anything. Why didn’t you tell me, Molly?” he asked, his voice softening a little.

Molly opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, grasping for an answer, before she let out a quiet sigh. “Because I know that you worry about him sometimes” she admitted “And I knew that if you knew that he had gotten in contact, we’d have to have this conversation” she added.

Gerard blinked slowly, something which caused Molly to push herself up to her feet, hesitantly moving closer to him. Gerard caught the movement out of the corner of his eye before he took a pace backwards, determined to keep the distance between them. “So you just wanted to avoid an awkward conversation?” he asked.

“What?” Molly spluttered “That is not what I am trying to say” she added.

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” Gerard repeated.

“Because it was nothing!” Molly yelled “Because it was one text in a year! It’s not like we talk all the time, or we’ve been meeting up to have coffee. He sent me a message tonight, that I read, and I deleted because I don’t care about what he has to say any more. It isn’t my fault that you’re insecure when it comes to him” she added.

“Sorry” Gerard’s voice was sarcastic “It’s not like you needed him to breakup with you and point out that I have always been right here to realise that we could be really fucking good together. I mean, I have had feelings for you for a very long time, but you needed Tiago to disappear to notice it, so I am sorry for being worried that if he reappeared, you might start to rethink this. You were ready to marry him, Molly. If he had said yes, you would have done, and I think I am well within my rights to get a little anxious about seeing a text from him on your phone” he added, his voice softening slightly towards the end.

He knew that she had a point. His reaction to seeing a single text from Tiago on the screen of her phone could be seen as over the top, especially since he knew that she had been telling the truth when she had told him that she had deleted the previous one, but he couldn’t help it. He had had feelings for her for a long time, longer than he probably would ever admit, and he knew that she had only been aware of her feelings for him since her relationship with Tiago had ended, and it mean that he worried about Tiago, scared that if he was to reappear, then Molly would re-evaluate how she felt about him.

He knew how much Molly had loved Tiago. He knew how seriously she had considered marrying the other man, and sharing her future with him, and he knew that the three months that he and Molly had spent together couldn’t compare to it.

Molly’s expression softened as she stared up at him, something which caused Gerard to shake his head slightly. “I think I am going to get out of here before we say something we can’t take back” he said, moving towards the door.

Molly trailed after him, gently grabbing a hold of his arm. “Gerard, wait” she protested.

Gerard gently tugged his arm out of his grasp before he pulled the front door open. “I’ll call you later, OK?” he asked.

Molly wanted to protest, to tell him that he had absolutely nothing to worry about when it came to Tiago, but the look on his face stopped her. He looked tired, and frustrated, and she knew that if she pushed him, then the chances were that she would only make things worse. Blowing out a soft sigh, she nodded her head. “Alright” she confirmed “I love you” she added.

Gerard’s footsteps faltered slightly halfway through the door before he turned and looked back at her, offering her a tied smile. “I love you, too” he said before he walked out of the door, pulling it closed with a resounding thud after himself.